1
00:00:04,287 --> 00:00:07,085
* From Mayfair to Park Lane
2
00:00:07,127 --> 00:00:09,641
* You will hear this same refrain
3
00:00:09,687 --> 00:00:12,759
* In every house again, again
4
00:00:12,807 --> 00:00:15,275
You rang, m'lord?
5
00:00:15,327 --> 00:00:17,795
* Stepping out, on the town
6
00:00:17,847 --> 00:00:20,645
* The social whirl goes round and round
7
00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:23,406
* The rich are up, the poor are down
8
00:00:24,007 --> 00:00:26,123
You rang, m'lord?
9
00:00:26,167 --> 00:00:28,681
* The bunny hug at the Shim-Sham Club
10
00:00:28,727 --> 00:00:30,922
* The Charleston at The Ritz
11
00:00:31,607 --> 00:00:34,167
* And at the Troc, do the turkey trot
12
00:00:34,207 --> 00:00:37,040
* They give Aunt Maud a thousand fits
13
00:00:38,487 --> 00:00:41,126
* Saucy flappers in cloche hats
14
00:00:41,167 --> 00:00:43,727
* Natty chappies in white spats
15
00:00:43,767 --> 00:00:47,157
* The upper set is going bats
16
00:00:47,207 --> 00:00:49,198
You rang, m'lord?
17
00:00:54,367 --> 00:00:56,358
(Clock chimes)
18
00:01:04,127 --> 00:01:05,879
(Sighs) Dad...
19
00:01:09,447 --> 00:01:10,960
- Dad!
- Eh?
20
00:01:11,007 --> 00:01:13,475
It's two o'clock in the morning.
21
00:01:13,527 --> 00:01:16,519
Have you woke me up
just to tell me that?
22
00:01:16,567 --> 00:01:19,320
How much longer are they going to be?
23
00:01:19,367 --> 00:01:23,758
I don't know, Ivy. They've probably
gone onto the Kit Kat Club.
24
00:01:23,807 --> 00:01:27,686
That's a terrible place.
I read about it in The News Of The World.
25
00:01:27,727 --> 00:01:30,799
The men dress up as women
and the women dress up as men.
26
00:01:32,647 --> 00:01:35,957
I think you're mixing it up
with the Conservative Club, Ivy.
27
00:01:38,367 --> 00:01:41,598
Well, it's all very well,
I've got to be up at six.
28
00:01:41,647 --> 00:01:43,080
Part of the job, Ivy.
29
00:01:43,127 --> 00:01:47,006
Them toffs enjoy themselves
while we work all hours that God sends.
30
00:01:47,047 --> 00:01:49,163
I work all the hours that God sends.
31
00:01:49,207 --> 00:01:53,166
I have to get all the early morning
tea trays ready before you're awake
32
00:01:53,207 --> 00:01:55,846
and you can have a snooze
in the afternoon.
33
00:01:55,887 --> 00:01:57,764
It's not right, Dad!
34
00:01:57,807 --> 00:02:00,719
- Don't call me Dad.
- What's it matter?
35
00:02:00,767 --> 00:02:02,883
Henry and James both know.
36
00:02:02,927 --> 00:02:04,997
And we don't want anyone else to know.
37
00:02:05,047 --> 00:02:08,642
You've only got this job
because of your wonderful references.
38
00:02:09,447 --> 00:02:11,119
You forged them!
39
00:02:11,167 --> 00:02:13,601
Precisely!
We don't want any questions asked.
40
00:02:24,047 --> 00:02:26,003
Wait here. Don't make any noise.
41
00:02:35,527 --> 00:02:37,199
The coast is clear.
42
00:02:37,247 --> 00:02:40,080
Oh, Mr Teddy, in't this exciting?
43
00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:43,085
As soon as I heard that ladder
outside me window
44
00:02:43,127 --> 00:02:46,483
and I looked down and saw you
standin' at the bottom
45
00:02:46,527 --> 00:02:49,166
with the moonlight
shinin' on your monocle,
46
00:02:49,207 --> 00:02:52,882
I thought "My fairy prince has come."
47
00:02:52,927 --> 00:02:54,599
It's jolly nice of you to say so.
48
00:02:54,647 --> 00:02:56,842
Can your fairy prince have a kiss?
49
00:02:56,887 --> 00:02:59,924
You won't turn into a frog, will ya?
50
00:02:59,967 --> 00:03:02,117
I don't think that's awfully likely.
51
00:03:02,927 --> 00:03:04,326
I demand a kiss.
52
00:03:04,367 --> 00:03:09,964
My Sheik of Araby, take me in your arms
and overpower me.
53
00:03:10,007 --> 00:03:11,804
Oh!
54
00:03:14,847 --> 00:03:17,600
- Dad, Dad! Dad...
- Eh?
55
00:03:17,647 --> 00:03:20,878
There's someone downstairs.
I think it's burglars.
56
00:03:20,927 --> 00:03:22,724
I'll go and see.
57
00:03:36,287 --> 00:03:38,039
Where are you taking me?
58
00:03:38,087 --> 00:03:42,160
To paradise. The drawing room actually -
there should be a fire there.
59
00:03:43,567 --> 00:03:47,640
Have you got a free hand
to deal with the knob?
60
00:03:48,127 --> 00:03:49,924
Oh!
61
00:03:52,047 --> 00:03:53,639
Oh, you are strong.
62
00:03:53,687 --> 00:03:56,838
It's you, Rose -
you give me the strength of ten men.
63
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:06,042
Come on, don't let him see you.
It's the Honourable Mr Teddy.
64
00:04:06,087 --> 00:04:08,965
- Who's he with?
- Miss Cartwright's maid, Rose.
65
00:04:09,007 --> 00:04:10,281
- Dad?
- What?!
66
00:04:10,327 --> 00:04:13,046
Why was he carrying her -
has she hurt her leg?
67
00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:16,762
Very likely. He's taking her
to his bedroom to put a bandage on it,
68
00:04:16,807 --> 00:04:18,957
now get in the drawing room.
69
00:04:23,407 --> 00:04:26,399
Mrs Lipton's got Sloane's Liniment
in her bedroom.
70
00:04:26,447 --> 00:04:29,280
D'you think Mr Teddy'd
like to put it on Rose's leg?
71
00:04:29,327 --> 00:04:31,318
I don't think so, Ivy.
72
00:04:35,087 --> 00:04:37,043
I think they're coming in 'ere.
73
00:04:44,727 --> 00:04:48,402
I feel like a young bride
being carried across the threshold.
74
00:04:48,447 --> 00:04:51,041
I was hoping you would.
75
00:04:54,607 --> 00:04:56,165
Oh!
76
00:04:57,207 --> 00:04:58,606
It's chilly in 'ere.
77
00:04:58,647 --> 00:05:01,480
You lie there
and I'll have a go with the bellows.
78
00:05:08,567 --> 00:05:11,001
There. That's better.
79
00:05:11,047 --> 00:05:15,006
You soon brought it to life.
You're a dab hand with the bellows.
80
00:05:15,047 --> 00:05:16,685
I was a boy scout.
81
00:05:16,727 --> 00:05:18,718
Do boy scouts use bellows?
82
00:05:18,767 --> 00:05:21,122
We got a couple of cubs
and made them blow.
83
00:05:25,087 --> 00:05:27,078
I can feel the heat already.
84
00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:29,846
It's coming from me.
My whole body's on fire.
85
00:05:29,887 --> 00:05:33,766
From the first time I saw you,
scrubbing the steps with carbolic soap,
86
00:05:33,807 --> 00:05:37,322
you brought to life
something I thought was dead forever.
87
00:05:37,367 --> 00:05:40,677
- What was that?
- Passion. Naked passion.
88
00:05:40,727 --> 00:05:44,163
The next time I saw you,
you were wearing your starched apron,
89
00:05:44,207 --> 00:05:46,323
and tipping clinkers into the dustbin.
90
00:05:46,367 --> 00:05:49,165
Then there was the night
I saw the light in your room
91
00:05:49,207 --> 00:05:53,120
and you came to the window
to draw the curtains and I saw...
92
00:05:53,167 --> 00:05:56,762
I saw the straps of your camisole
through my binoculars.
93
00:05:57,967 --> 00:06:02,245
I don't wear a camisole. It was my vest.
94
00:06:02,287 --> 00:06:06,075
Oh, my God! I must have a drink.
95
00:06:08,407 --> 00:06:10,921
- Can I have one?
- By Jove, yes.
96
00:06:14,967 --> 00:06:16,764
Here's to us, Rose.
97
00:06:19,727 --> 00:06:21,843
In't it about time I went home?
98
00:06:21,887 --> 00:06:25,038
Home? Home? (Laughs)
99
00:06:27,327 --> 00:06:29,921
- What did you do that for?
- Russians do it.
100
00:06:29,967 --> 00:06:31,878
Are you a Russian?
101
00:06:31,927 --> 00:06:34,680
I sometimes think
there's a bit of the Tartar about me.
102
00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:37,924
I thought that was a sauce
you put on fish.
103
00:06:37,967 --> 00:06:40,276
- What?
- Tartar.
104
00:06:40,327 --> 00:06:43,319
No, no, no, no.
Tartars are wild tribesmen
105
00:06:43,367 --> 00:06:46,996
who gallop over the Steppes
pillaging and carrying off girls.
106
00:06:47,047 --> 00:06:49,003
Oh, that's you all over.
107
00:06:49,047 --> 00:06:51,641
Look how you carried me
up the back stairs.
108
00:06:51,687 --> 00:06:53,200
Oh, Rose,
109
00:06:53,247 --> 00:06:55,238
here's to the next flight.
110
00:06:58,247 --> 00:07:00,044
(Car pulls up)
111
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:01,566
Oh!
112
00:07:04,687 --> 00:07:06,279
It's my brother.
113
00:07:06,327 --> 00:07:09,399
His lordship?
You said they were all in bed.
114
00:07:09,447 --> 00:07:12,041
Quick, let's hide behind the curtains.
115
00:07:14,687 --> 00:07:18,680
No, they'll probably come in here.
Quick, the dining room.
116
00:07:28,047 --> 00:07:30,561
I hope they won't think
I broke them glasses.
117
00:07:30,607 --> 00:07:34,202
If that's how they carry on in Russia,
they can't have many left.
118
00:07:35,047 --> 00:07:37,641
- (Bell)
- Straighten up your apron, Ivy.
119
00:07:41,167 --> 00:07:42,680
(Bell)
120
00:07:46,047 --> 00:07:49,835
Good morning, Miss Cissy, Miss Poppy.
Good morning, sir.
121
00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:53,960
- I trust you had a pleasant evening.
- Yes, but late nights are exhausting.
122
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:55,599
I know the feeling, sir.
123
00:07:55,647 --> 00:07:59,560
Jerry took us all to the Silver Slipper.
It's got a glass dance floor.
124
00:07:59,607 --> 00:08:01,006
Damn dangerous.
125
00:08:02,407 --> 00:08:06,320
- Sorry to keep you up so late, Ivy.
- It's all right, Miss Cissy.
126
00:08:06,367 --> 00:08:09,006
- What time do you have to get up?
- Six o'clock.
127
00:08:09,047 --> 00:08:11,481
- Have a lie-in, Ivy.
- Thank you, m'lord.
128
00:08:11,527 --> 00:08:13,882
Make it 6:30.
129
00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:16,236
Thank you, m'lord.
130
00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:20,200
Careful how you hang up my cloak, Ivy.
Don't crease it like last time.
131
00:08:20,247 --> 00:08:22,203
Wasn't my fault, Miss Poppy.
132
00:08:22,247 --> 00:08:24,477
Don't argue.
133
00:08:25,767 --> 00:08:29,965
Oh, James, I've never seen you in your
pyjamas and dressing gown before.
134
00:08:30,007 --> 00:08:32,567
I was aroused
by the sound of breaking glass.
135
00:08:32,607 --> 00:08:36,122
I've never seen you
aroused before either.
136
00:08:41,567 --> 00:08:45,480
You must've been dreaming, James.
You may return to bed.
137
00:08:45,527 --> 00:08:47,006
- Stokes?
- M'lord?
138
00:08:47,047 --> 00:08:51,245
Come in here.
What's all this glass in the fireplace?
139
00:08:51,287 --> 00:08:53,801
I think Mr Teddy had a slight mishap,
m'lord.
140
00:08:53,847 --> 00:08:56,919
He left our party hours ago.
Said he was going to bed.
141
00:08:56,967 --> 00:09:00,164
That was his intention, wasn't it, Ivy?
142
00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:01,879
Er, yes, it was.
143
00:09:03,927 --> 00:09:06,282
I 'eard glass breaking. We got burglars?
144
00:09:06,327 --> 00:09:09,797
How dare you appear before his lordship
in your night attire -
145
00:09:09,847 --> 00:09:11,724
return to your room at once, Henry.
146
00:09:11,767 --> 00:09:14,964
- What are you doing with that?
- I was gonna hit 'em with it.
147
00:09:16,447 --> 00:09:20,360
You do not hit burglars
with his lordship's ornaments.
148
00:09:20,407 --> 00:09:22,477
I'll remember that, Mr Twelvetrees.
149
00:09:24,287 --> 00:09:26,403
I'm having a brandy and soda. Poppy?
150
00:09:26,447 --> 00:09:29,803
- I'll have a stiff one.
- Oh, there's no soda.
151
00:09:29,847 --> 00:09:32,202
There's some in the dining room.
152
00:09:33,087 --> 00:09:36,284
- I'll get it, miss Cissy.
- Don't worry. You buzz off to bed.
153
00:09:38,127 --> 00:09:40,436
- Dad!
- Nothing to do with us, Ivy.
154
00:09:42,047 --> 00:09:44,003
- (Rose screams)
- Good God!
155
00:09:44,047 --> 00:09:46,959
- What's that?
- We have got burglars.
156
00:09:49,207 --> 00:09:50,606
Thank you.
157
00:09:51,727 --> 00:09:52,716
Teddy!
158
00:09:52,767 --> 00:09:55,201
- This is Rose.
- Rose?
159
00:09:55,247 --> 00:09:56,885
Miss Cartwright's maid, sir.
160
00:09:56,927 --> 00:10:00,203
How dare you, Teddy!
And in front of the servants!
161
00:10:00,247 --> 00:10:02,761
I'm over 21 .
I'll do what I bally-well like.
162
00:10:02,807 --> 00:10:06,356
Not in my house. James, take this girl
back to where she came from.
163
00:10:06,407 --> 00:10:09,444
Yes, m'lord. Henry, take Rose downstairs
while I dress.
164
00:10:09,487 --> 00:10:10,886
Yes, Mr Twelvetrees.
165
00:10:21,687 --> 00:10:23,678
The rest of you, go to bed.
166
00:10:27,167 --> 00:10:29,522
I'll see you in my study in the morning.
167
00:10:36,647 --> 00:10:38,956
Ivy, can you ever forgive me?
168
00:10:39,007 --> 00:10:40,725
Pardon?
169
00:10:40,767 --> 00:10:44,237
I said I was in love with you
but I've fallen in love with Rose.
170
00:10:44,287 --> 00:10:46,676
Oh, that's quite all right.
171
00:10:46,727 --> 00:10:49,958
You're a good egg.
Ooh, could you do me a little favour?
172
00:10:50,007 --> 00:10:53,636
- It depends what it is.
- Have you got another pair of glasses?
173
00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:56,406
I'd like to see
what Rose looks like in them.
174
00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:58,119
Sorry, I've only got these.
175
00:10:58,167 --> 00:10:59,964
Oh, hang.
176
00:11:03,487 --> 00:11:06,126
They're a rum lot these gentry,
aren't they?
177
00:11:06,167 --> 00:11:09,637
Don't you worry, Ivy,
their days are numbered.
178
00:11:21,247 --> 00:11:23,920
(Parrot) Come in.
(Woman) Oh, shut up. Come in!
179
00:11:23,967 --> 00:11:26,242
(Parrot) Shut up. Come in.
180
00:11:31,327 --> 00:11:34,125
I brought your breakfast, Lady Lavender.
181
00:11:39,767 --> 00:11:42,964
Ah, I put that there
to remind me it was empty.
182
00:11:45,087 --> 00:11:46,964
Hurry up and eat your breakfast.
183
00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:49,885
You've got the doctor coming to see you
this morning.
184
00:11:49,927 --> 00:11:52,361
They're trying to prove I'm potty,
you know.
185
00:11:53,247 --> 00:11:55,124
Oh, how awful.
186
00:11:55,167 --> 00:11:57,681
You don't think I'm potty, do you?
187
00:11:57,727 --> 00:11:59,445
No, of course not.
188
00:11:59,487 --> 00:12:01,842
- Potty, potty, potty.
- Oh, shut up.
189
00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:04,879
They're after my money
but they're not going to get it
190
00:12:04,927 --> 00:12:07,077
because they don't know where it is.
191
00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:09,436
It's under the bed.
192
00:12:09,487 --> 00:12:11,557
At least it was last night.
193
00:12:11,607 --> 00:12:14,201
Have a look and see if it's still there.
194
00:12:16,047 --> 00:12:18,083
There's a lot of stuff under 'ere.
195
00:12:20,447 --> 00:12:21,436
What's this?
196
00:12:21,487 --> 00:12:24,320
It's a mongoose.
It keeps the snakes away.
197
00:12:25,687 --> 00:12:26,961
But it's stuffed.
198
00:12:27,007 --> 00:12:29,123
The snakes don't know that.
199
00:12:30,847 --> 00:12:33,281
The money's in a small portmanteau.
200
00:12:35,847 --> 00:12:37,644
Got it.
201
00:12:39,287 --> 00:12:41,881
- Open it.
- Yes, Lady Lavender.
202
00:12:46,047 --> 00:12:48,402
(Parrot) Pieces of eight, pieces of eight.
203
00:12:48,447 --> 00:12:53,157
Shut up. That's the trouble with parrots,
you never know where they're from.
204
00:12:53,207 --> 00:12:55,437
I've never seen so much money
in me life!
205
00:12:55,487 --> 00:12:57,443
I started counting it last night
206
00:12:57,487 --> 00:13:02,038
but I fell asleep at L9,486
14 shillings and ninepence.
207
00:13:03,247 --> 00:13:05,966
I tell you what -
we'll count it all over again.
208
00:13:06,007 --> 00:13:10,797
There's no time. I've got my work to do
and you've got to eat your breakfast.
209
00:13:10,847 --> 00:13:14,078
Oh, all right then.
Put it away, we'll do it later.
210
00:13:18,687 --> 00:13:20,803
I want you to give me a solemn promise
211
00:13:20,847 --> 00:13:24,203
that you won't say a word
to a living soul about the money.
212
00:13:24,247 --> 00:13:28,798
Of course I won't. Cross me heart and
hope to die. Will there be anything else?
213
00:13:28,847 --> 00:13:31,759
No, that's all, thank you, Ethel,
you may go.
214
00:13:31,807 --> 00:13:34,685
Well, I'll leave you in peace then.
215
00:13:37,527 --> 00:13:39,324
Why are you cringing?
216
00:13:39,367 --> 00:13:42,643
You think I'm going to
throw something at you, don't you?
217
00:13:42,687 --> 00:13:44,200
Well, you do as a rule.
218
00:13:44,247 --> 00:13:48,320
- You're quite safe, I promise you.
- Oh, good.
219
00:13:50,927 --> 00:13:53,805
Fooled you! I had my fingers crossed.
220
00:14:03,767 --> 00:14:07,237
Dirty dishes coming down,
Mr Twelvetrees.
221
00:14:07,287 --> 00:14:08,561
Thank you, Mr Stokes.
222
00:14:08,607 --> 00:14:11,804
- Pull down the dirty dishes, Henry.
- Yes, Mr Twelvetrees.
223
00:14:11,847 --> 00:14:15,362
- Take them over to Mabel, Henry.
- Yes, Mr Twelvetrees.
224
00:14:15,407 --> 00:14:19,366
Oh, yes, bring 'em over 'ere.
That's all I'm 'ere for.
225
00:14:20,327 --> 00:14:22,966
- Morning all.
- Morning, Constable Wilson.
226
00:14:23,007 --> 00:14:26,283
Will there be a cup of your excellent tea
going, Mrs Lipton?
227
00:14:26,327 --> 00:14:29,239
Just brewing up.
You're early this morning.
228
00:14:29,287 --> 00:14:32,324
- I've gotta be in court at 1 1 .
- Nothing serious I hope.
229
00:14:32,367 --> 00:14:35,962
I apprehended a bookie's runner
taking bets yesterday.
230
00:14:36,007 --> 00:14:39,636
He offered me ten bob to let him off.
Ho, I should coco.
231
00:14:39,687 --> 00:14:41,678
Usually get a pound, don't ya?
232
00:14:42,767 --> 00:14:44,962
Hold your tongue, Henry.
233
00:14:45,607 --> 00:14:47,837
Sit yourself down, Constable Wilson.
234
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:52,677
You finished up the cherry cake
last night if my memory serves me right.
235
00:14:52,727 --> 00:14:55,321
Don't worry, she's got one in the oven.
236
00:14:59,127 --> 00:15:01,800
Here's another tea tray. It's Miss Cissy's.
237
00:15:01,847 --> 00:15:03,678
Miss Cissy's?
238
00:15:03,727 --> 00:15:06,241
- You didn't stop long, did you?
- No.
239
00:15:08,087 --> 00:15:09,440
Here you are, Mabel.
240
00:15:09,487 --> 00:15:11,284
And still they come.
241
00:15:12,127 --> 00:15:16,200
I'll bet, when I go to heaven
I'll have to do the washing-up.
242
00:15:16,247 --> 00:15:19,557
I'm sure they've got a big machine
to do it up there.
243
00:15:19,607 --> 00:15:21,916
I bet I'll have to turn the 'andle.
244
00:15:24,087 --> 00:15:26,396
Did Lady Lavender
like her breakfast, Ivy?
245
00:15:26,447 --> 00:15:29,962
She chucked the porridge at me
but I didn't wait for the rest.
246
00:15:30,007 --> 00:15:32,475
Ivy, I'd like a word with you in private.
247
00:15:33,367 --> 00:15:35,164
Yes, Mr Twelvetrees.
248
00:15:36,247 --> 00:15:39,398
Oh, dear, is Ivy in hot water?
249
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:43,963
Now, Ivy, I want to talk to you
about your father.
250
00:15:44,007 --> 00:15:46,475
- Who?
- Mr Stokes. Wake up, girl.
251
00:15:46,527 --> 00:15:51,476
He did not tell his lordship when you
were engaged that you were his issue.
252
00:15:51,527 --> 00:15:54,644
- His what?
- His daughter. Also, you did not reveal
253
00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:58,566
that you had not been
in domestic service before, did you?
254
00:15:58,607 --> 00:16:01,440
- No.
- That was very underhand of you, Ivy.
255
00:16:01,487 --> 00:16:04,559
I know. When I said me prayers
I asked God to forgive me
256
00:16:04,607 --> 00:16:08,043
and I think he did, cos He does
that sort of thing, doesn't He?
257
00:16:08,087 --> 00:16:11,875
Yes, I think he does.
You're a good girl and you try very hard.
258
00:16:11,927 --> 00:16:16,079
I will not reveal your identity,
providing you do your work properly.
259
00:16:16,127 --> 00:16:17,685
Yes, Mr Twelvetrees.
260
00:16:17,727 --> 00:16:21,720
Attend to your duties diligently
and mind your Ps and Qs.
261
00:16:23,847 --> 00:16:26,077
Why are you staring at me like that, girl?
262
00:16:26,127 --> 00:16:28,766
I was concentrating
on what you were saying.
263
00:16:28,807 --> 00:16:32,846
Good, now go about your duties...
and close your mouth.
264
00:16:40,207 --> 00:16:44,200
You're early today, Constable.
Been investigating a few murders?
265
00:16:44,247 --> 00:16:47,683
Early this morning
I was called out to investigate
266
00:16:47,727 --> 00:16:50,764
a ladder propped up against a house
down the street.
267
00:16:50,807 --> 00:16:52,684
That's Miss Cartwright's house.
268
00:16:52,727 --> 00:16:55,082
Our Mr Teddy's
been up to his tricks again.
269
00:16:55,127 --> 00:16:57,766
- With Miss Cartwright?
- No, her maid, Rose.
270
00:16:57,807 --> 00:16:59,525
I had to escort her home.
271
00:16:59,567 --> 00:17:02,718
In that case, least said, soonest mended.
272
00:17:02,767 --> 00:17:06,806
That's what you always say,
isn't it, Mrs Lipton?
273
00:17:06,847 --> 00:17:09,042
I've heard about that girl, Rose.
274
00:17:09,087 --> 00:17:12,875
If you ask me,
she's no better than she should be.
275
00:17:12,927 --> 00:17:16,283
Last night she narrowly escaped
being worse than she was.
276
00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:21,757
That Mr Teddy's a monster.
No woman's safe.
277
00:17:21,807 --> 00:17:23,604
He ought to have it cut off.
278
00:17:27,487 --> 00:17:29,045
What d'you mean?
279
00:17:31,207 --> 00:17:35,519
His allowance, Ivy.
He ought to be made to work for a living.
280
00:17:36,607 --> 00:17:38,598
The devil finds work for idle hands.
281
00:17:38,647 --> 00:17:39,841
What could he do?
282
00:17:39,887 --> 00:17:43,197
He could come down 'ere
and do some washing-up for a start.
283
00:17:43,247 --> 00:17:44,646
Don't be ridiculous, Mabel.
284
00:17:44,687 --> 00:17:47,679
You cannot have a gentleman
working in a kitchen.
285
00:17:47,727 --> 00:17:49,797
Where will it all end?
286
00:17:49,847 --> 00:17:53,283
I'll tell you where it will all end -
in revolution.
287
00:17:53,327 --> 00:17:57,081
With things as they are,
workers will have to take to the streets
288
00:17:57,127 --> 00:17:58,958
and fight for what's due to 'em.
289
00:17:59,007 --> 00:18:01,601
That's right, Mr Stokes, you tell 'em.
290
00:18:01,647 --> 00:18:05,083
The tumbrels'll roll
like they did in France.
291
00:18:05,927 --> 00:18:08,521
It upsets me, that sort of talk.
292
00:18:08,567 --> 00:18:11,525
I quite agree.
Get on with the washing-up, Mabel.
293
00:18:11,567 --> 00:18:15,560
If that's how you feel, I suggest
you go do the washing-up in Russia.
294
00:18:15,607 --> 00:18:17,882
You won't have many glasses to do.
295
00:18:23,487 --> 00:18:25,478
- (Knock on door)
- Come in.
296
00:18:29,487 --> 00:18:32,718
I've shown the professor
to Lady Lavender's room, sir.
297
00:18:32,767 --> 00:18:34,598
Oh, good.
298
00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:38,526
- Did she throw anything at him?
- Not up to the time I left, sir.
299
00:18:38,567 --> 00:18:41,798
I'm afraid she's becoming
a bit of a problem to us all.
300
00:18:41,847 --> 00:18:44,486
We are aware of this below stairs, m'lord.
301
00:18:44,527 --> 00:18:48,122
We were led to understand
that the previous specialist she saw
302
00:18:48,167 --> 00:18:50,044
said that she was completely sane.
303
00:18:50,087 --> 00:18:52,920
Yes, that's why
we've called in another one.
304
00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:56,879
Anybody can tell she's not quite plumb.
305
00:18:56,927 --> 00:18:59,122
Her bank manager rang me yesterday
306
00:18:59,167 --> 00:19:02,284
to say she'd drawn all her money
out of the bank in cash.
307
00:19:03,727 --> 00:19:05,877
- Cash?
- Mm.
308
00:19:06,727 --> 00:19:08,877
Pound notes...in a suitcase.
309
00:19:08,927 --> 00:19:12,806
- What has she done with it, sir?
- I presume she's got it in her room.
310
00:19:12,847 --> 00:19:15,645
Would you like me
to conduct a search, sir?
311
00:19:15,687 --> 00:19:19,839
Certainly not. I couldn't be a party
to that sort of thing. Not today, anyway.
312
00:19:19,887 --> 00:19:23,960
And on top of it all there's that sordid
business with my brother last night.
313
00:19:24,007 --> 00:19:25,599
Most unfortunate, sir.
314
00:19:25,647 --> 00:19:27,763
I wish he'd settle down and get married.
315
00:19:27,807 --> 00:19:30,605
I suppose all the servants are gossiping?
316
00:19:30,647 --> 00:19:32,399
Very sympathetically, m'lord.
317
00:19:32,447 --> 00:19:36,725
The general opinion is that Mr Teddy
should undertake some form of work
318
00:19:36,767 --> 00:19:39,156
to take his mind off his problems.
319
00:19:39,207 --> 00:19:43,485
You're absolutely right,
but unfortunately, he can't do anything.
320
00:19:43,527 --> 00:19:45,722
I mean, who'd have him?
321
00:19:45,767 --> 00:19:48,327
Could you not find a position
in one of your enterprises, sir?
322
00:19:48,367 --> 00:19:51,439
Not a bad idea, Stokes.
I have given it some thought.
323
00:19:51,487 --> 00:19:54,206
- Ah, that'll be all, Stokes.
- Very good, sir.
324
00:19:59,287 --> 00:20:01,676
I was expecting you here
half an hour ago.
325
00:20:01,727 --> 00:20:07,040
What a bally cheek! I'm not a schoolboy,
you're not my housemaster.
326
00:20:07,087 --> 00:20:09,999
I'm sorry, Teddy, as head of the family
327
00:20:10,047 --> 00:20:13,323
I cannot allow this conduct of yours
to go on any longer.
328
00:20:13,367 --> 00:20:17,042
Either you take proper treatment
and marry Madge Cartwright
329
00:20:17,087 --> 00:20:18,486
or you leave the country.
330
00:20:18,527 --> 00:20:23,442
I don't want to marry Madge
Cartwright. I want to marry her maid.
331
00:20:23,487 --> 00:20:25,523
Then you have to leave the country.
332
00:20:25,567 --> 00:20:26,841
Where can I go?
333
00:20:26,887 --> 00:20:29,799
One of our rubber plantations in Malaya.
334
00:20:29,847 --> 00:20:32,042
I know nothing about rubber.
335
00:20:36,207 --> 00:20:39,677
It's perfectly simple -
you make holes in the little trees,
336
00:20:39,727 --> 00:20:43,276
the rubber stuff drops out
and you collect it in little cups.
337
00:20:43,327 --> 00:20:45,045
Oh, really, George!
338
00:20:45,087 --> 00:20:47,840
You don't do it.
You make sure the natives do it.
339
00:20:47,887 --> 00:20:50,117
You'd do this
to your own flesh and blood?
340
00:20:50,167 --> 00:20:54,080
(Sighs) You can't stay in England
to disgrace the family.
341
00:20:54,127 --> 00:20:59,440
I tell you what, that professor chap,
he's upstairs talking to Lavender.
342
00:20:59,487 --> 00:21:02,718
He's supposed to be top man
when it comes to brains.
343
00:21:02,767 --> 00:21:05,725
Why don't we chat with him
and see if he'll take you on?
344
00:21:05,767 --> 00:21:08,042
I don't need taking on!
345
00:21:09,087 --> 00:21:11,396
You talk about me as if I'm up the pole.
346
00:21:11,447 --> 00:21:13,438
- (Knock on door)
- Come in.
347
00:21:14,807 --> 00:21:18,800
Professor Van Manheim has concluded
his interview with Lady Lavender
348
00:21:18,847 --> 00:21:21,486
- and would like a word, sir.
- Send him in.
349
00:21:21,527 --> 00:21:24,280
James is sponging him down
in the cloakroom.
350
00:21:28,327 --> 00:21:29,521
What was it?
351
00:21:29,567 --> 00:21:33,446
Mostly fried egg
with a little kedgeree on the tie.
352
00:21:34,007 --> 00:21:37,044
I see, yes.
Well, send him in as soon as he's ready.
353
00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:38,964
Very good, sir.
354
00:21:39,007 --> 00:21:43,683
If she threw her breakfast at him,
he's bound to say she's potty.
355
00:21:43,727 --> 00:21:48,562
You're going to get your own way,
aren't you? You ruthless cad.
356
00:21:48,607 --> 00:21:51,917
You'll have me in the Malayan jungles
sweating like a pig,
357
00:21:51,967 --> 00:21:55,755
poking little holes in rubber trees
and poor old Lavvy certified.
358
00:21:55,807 --> 00:21:58,002
I didn't say a word about certified.
359
00:21:58,047 --> 00:21:59,719
- (Knock on door)
- Come in.
360
00:21:59,767 --> 00:22:02,918
Professor Heinrich Van Manheim,
your lordship.
361
00:22:02,967 --> 00:22:04,844
Come in, Professor, come in.
362
00:22:04,887 --> 00:22:09,324
I'm sorry you were the target
for Lady Lavender's eccentricity.
363
00:22:09,367 --> 00:22:12,439
I'm quite used to this sort of thing.
364
00:22:12,487 --> 00:22:13,886
My brother, Teddy.
365
00:22:13,927 --> 00:22:17,283
Ah. Is he the vun ve spoke about?
366
00:22:17,327 --> 00:22:18,362
Yes, that's right.
367
00:22:18,407 --> 00:22:21,126
Have you been discussing me
behind my back?
368
00:22:21,167 --> 00:22:23,920
I filled the Professor in
with one or two details.
369
00:22:23,967 --> 00:22:26,720
- You absolute rotter.
- It's all right, Teddy.
370
00:22:26,767 --> 00:22:28,166
Right, Professor, now,
371
00:22:28,207 --> 00:22:31,358
what conclusion did you come to
regarding Lady Lavender?
372
00:22:31,407 --> 00:22:33,443
It's very complicated.
373
00:22:33,487 --> 00:22:37,082
I shall be making a full report
to your doctor in due course.
374
00:22:38,727 --> 00:22:40,718
Eurgh!
375
00:22:43,567 --> 00:22:45,842
Little piece of haddock, I think.
376
00:22:48,687 --> 00:22:51,804
Now, the other problem I have
is my brother.
377
00:22:51,847 --> 00:22:55,157
He has this obsession with servant girls.
378
00:22:55,207 --> 00:22:59,997
Vell, zere could be two reasons for zis.
Eurgh.
379
00:23:01,167 --> 00:23:04,284
First, an inferiority complex,
380
00:23:04,327 --> 00:23:07,524
or second, a superiority complex.
381
00:23:09,047 --> 00:23:12,562
- Do you ever feel inferior?
- Well, doesn't everyone?
382
00:23:12,607 --> 00:23:16,282
- I'm asking you.
- Do try and answer the question, Teddy.
383
00:23:16,327 --> 00:23:18,124
It's all so damn ridiculous.
384
00:23:18,167 --> 00:23:21,557
I mean, sometimes I feel inferior,
sometimes I feel superior.
385
00:23:21,607 --> 00:23:23,837
Ah, ze split personality.
386
00:23:25,687 --> 00:23:27,564
Let us take aggression.
387
00:23:27,607 --> 00:23:29,404
Do you ever feel aggressive?
388
00:23:30,047 --> 00:23:32,163
Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.
389
00:23:32,207 --> 00:23:33,686
What did I tell you?
390
00:23:33,727 --> 00:23:35,718
A split personality.
391
00:23:36,767 --> 00:23:39,600
Do you ever have ze vivid dreams?
392
00:23:39,647 --> 00:23:41,046
Occasionally.
393
00:23:41,087 --> 00:23:43,203
Do you ever dream about vomen?
394
00:23:43,247 --> 00:23:45,158
Sometimes.
395
00:23:45,207 --> 00:23:47,198
Do zey have any clothes on?
396
00:23:47,247 --> 00:23:50,125
Sometimes they do
and sometimes they don't.
397
00:23:50,167 --> 00:23:53,159
Can't you make up your mind
about anything?
398
00:23:56,407 --> 00:23:58,637
He could be a very difficult case.
399
00:23:58,687 --> 00:24:00,962
- Can you take him on?
- Mm...
400
00:24:02,007 --> 00:24:03,042
Maybe.
401
00:24:03,087 --> 00:24:05,681
Could you cure him of his obsession?
402
00:24:05,727 --> 00:24:09,322
I don't want curing.
I think servant girls are jolly nice.
403
00:24:09,367 --> 00:24:11,801
There, you see. Could take a long time.
404
00:24:11,847 --> 00:24:14,884
- How long?
- Maybe two, maybe three years.
405
00:24:16,287 --> 00:24:19,040
I would start off vith revulsion therapy.
406
00:24:19,727 --> 00:24:23,083
I would attach him to a machine,
407
00:24:23,127 --> 00:24:26,005
show him photographs of servant girls...
408
00:24:27,047 --> 00:24:31,245
and every time he looked at zem,
I would give him an electric shock.
409
00:24:32,607 --> 00:24:36,725
George, I am not gonna spend two
or three years attached to a machine,
410
00:24:36,767 --> 00:24:39,839
with this fathead
giving me electric shocks.
411
00:24:39,887 --> 00:24:41,798
- It is harsh.
- Alternatively,
412
00:24:41,847 --> 00:24:45,283
- you could let him marry a servant girl.
- That is absurd!
413
00:24:45,327 --> 00:24:50,117
What's wrong with servant girls?
My mother was a servant girl.
414
00:24:50,167 --> 00:24:53,239
HG Wells' mother was a servant girl.
415
00:24:53,287 --> 00:24:57,439
Yes, but he's just a writer.
It wouldn't do for our family at all.
416
00:24:57,487 --> 00:25:00,763
As a matter of interest,
when did all zis first start?
417
00:25:00,807 --> 00:25:03,275
My brother got a bonk on the head
in the war.
418
00:25:03,327 --> 00:25:05,716
When? Where?
419
00:25:05,767 --> 00:25:10,602
Well, if you must know, September 16th
1918, just outside Amiens.
420
00:25:10,647 --> 00:25:12,683
- North or south?
- South.
421
00:25:12,727 --> 00:25:15,036
- Ah, I was there!
- What?
422
00:25:15,087 --> 00:25:17,078
On ze other side.
423
00:25:18,127 --> 00:25:21,005
It's all your fault. You probably did it.
424
00:25:21,047 --> 00:25:22,844
- What?
- Don't be absurd, Teddy.
425
00:25:22,887 --> 00:25:25,355
You were hit by a piece of shrapnel.
426
00:25:25,407 --> 00:25:28,080
The Professor didn't fire heavy guns,
did you?
427
00:25:28,127 --> 00:25:31,324
Nein. I was in the field hospital.
428
00:25:31,367 --> 00:25:35,838
What's it matter? If it wasn't for you
Germans, there would have been no war.
429
00:25:35,887 --> 00:25:38,560
It's your fault, you, you, you...Hun!
430
00:25:38,607 --> 00:25:40,199
Hun? Hun?!
431
00:25:40,247 --> 00:25:41,999
How dare you!
432
00:25:42,047 --> 00:25:45,005
I am a Viennese.
I never supported ze Kaiser.
433
00:25:45,047 --> 00:25:48,483
- Ha, they all say that. You swine!
- Teddy, stop!
434
00:25:48,527 --> 00:25:51,405
Teddy, control yourself,
for heaven's sake!
435
00:25:54,327 --> 00:25:56,477
Stokes! Stokes, come quickly!
436
00:25:57,407 --> 00:25:59,557
Stop it. Stop it.
437
00:26:01,047 --> 00:26:04,278
It took all our strength, James and me,
to drag Mr Teddy off.
438
00:26:04,327 --> 00:26:07,125
- You should've sent for me.
- We couldn't do that.
439
00:26:07,167 --> 00:26:10,000
- Think of the scandal.
- We could've kept it quiet.
440
00:26:10,047 --> 00:26:12,959
We understand the gentry's problems
at the station.
441
00:26:13,007 --> 00:26:15,441
Have you got a price list?
442
00:26:18,687 --> 00:26:20,643
Anyhow, what happened?
443
00:26:20,687 --> 00:26:22,484
Shh.
444
00:26:24,487 --> 00:26:27,365
Well, I'll be off now.
445
00:26:30,807 --> 00:26:33,037
Havin' shepherd's pie, are ya?
446
00:26:33,087 --> 00:26:35,999
Yes, Mabel,
we're having shepherd's pie.
447
00:26:36,047 --> 00:26:38,197
That's nice.
448
00:26:38,247 --> 00:26:43,116
I can't remember the last time I sat down
to a big plate of shepherd's pie
449
00:26:43,167 --> 00:26:45,283
with onions and gravy.
450
00:26:46,007 --> 00:26:50,239
There's a bit of cheddar cheese
in the larder you can take home, Mabel.
451
00:26:50,287 --> 00:26:52,084
That'll be nice.
452
00:26:53,287 --> 00:26:55,323
There's plenty of pie in the oven.
453
00:26:55,367 --> 00:26:57,676
Be quiet, Ivy.
454
00:26:58,687 --> 00:27:02,805
Well then, Mr Stokes and I held him
down while the Professor got his bag.
455
00:27:02,847 --> 00:27:05,805
- Did he give him a pill?
- No, he took out a big syringe.
456
00:27:05,847 --> 00:27:08,759
Then his lordship
pulled Mr Teddy's trousers down.
457
00:27:08,807 --> 00:27:12,595
(Gasps) Oh, the humiliation.
458
00:27:12,647 --> 00:27:16,720
Mrs Lipton, which bit is it -
the big bit or the little bit?
459
00:27:16,767 --> 00:27:18,883
The little bit.
460
00:27:18,927 --> 00:27:20,724
Oh, thanks.
461
00:27:21,167 --> 00:27:24,443
It's been there for days. It's all wizened.
462
00:27:24,487 --> 00:27:27,604
All she's got to do is cut the mould off.
463
00:27:27,647 --> 00:27:31,117
Sure you don't want it
for the mousetrap?
464
00:27:33,287 --> 00:27:37,041
There's no need to be sarcastic, Mabel.
You don't have to take it.
465
00:27:37,087 --> 00:27:40,079
Oh, I'll take it. I'll make a welsh rabbit.
466
00:27:41,767 --> 00:27:43,564
A green one.
467
00:27:45,807 --> 00:27:49,800
I'll have a glass of water before I go
if you can spare it.
468
00:27:50,527 --> 00:27:53,325
Don't worry, I'll drink it in the scullery.
469
00:27:54,927 --> 00:27:57,122
Close the scullery door, Henry.
470
00:27:57,167 --> 00:27:58,964
Yes, Mr Twelvetrees.
471
00:28:01,407 --> 00:28:04,240
You could've given her
a bit of shepherd's pie.
472
00:28:04,287 --> 00:28:06,596
She should've left at one o'clock.
473
00:28:06,647 --> 00:28:10,276
She can have a bit tomorrow,
if there's any left over.
474
00:28:10,327 --> 00:28:14,320
You've gotta watch out for her sort.
They're always on the cadge.
475
00:28:18,927 --> 00:28:20,838
Anyhow, what happened next?
476
00:28:20,887 --> 00:28:24,846
You got up to the bit where his lordship
pulled Mr Teddy's trousers down.
477
00:28:24,887 --> 00:28:27,959
Then the Professor
stuck a great big needle in him.
478
00:28:28,007 --> 00:28:30,123
(Gasps) Oh, the shame.
479
00:28:30,167 --> 00:28:33,796
Two minutes later he was out.
James and I had to sit him in a chair.
480
00:28:33,847 --> 00:28:36,884
I don't feel safe in the house with him.
481
00:28:36,927 --> 00:28:39,521
I haven't much time for Germans
myself but...
482
00:28:39,567 --> 00:28:42,286
well, I don't
think you should strangle them.
483
00:28:42,327 --> 00:28:44,283
Not in the house anyway.
484
00:28:45,647 --> 00:28:48,002
What happened
when Mr Teddy came round?
485
00:28:48,047 --> 00:28:50,766
You better ask Ivy -
she was listening at the door.
486
00:28:50,807 --> 00:28:53,879
She was polishing the knob -
I told her to.
487
00:28:53,927 --> 00:28:56,566
His lordship
went at him hammer and tongs.
488
00:28:56,607 --> 00:29:00,600
He said Mr Teddy was a rotter, a cad
and a disgrace to the family name.
489
00:29:00,647 --> 00:29:02,797
Poor Mr Teddy.
490
00:29:04,247 --> 00:29:07,125
I've known him since he was this high.
491
00:29:08,167 --> 00:29:10,556
He was a demon for sweets.
492
00:29:11,607 --> 00:29:15,680
He used to climb up the stairs,
knock on my bedroom door
493
00:29:15,727 --> 00:29:19,117
and say "Have you got anything for me,
Blanche?"
494
00:29:20,207 --> 00:29:22,482
If you ask me, you started him off.
495
00:29:29,167 --> 00:29:32,955
Anyway, his lordship said,
"I'm having no more of it.
496
00:29:33,007 --> 00:29:36,556
"You start to work in the factory
in the morning."
497
00:29:36,607 --> 00:29:39,804
- Which one?
- The Union Jack Rubber Company.
498
00:29:39,847 --> 00:29:43,999
Fat lot of good that'll do
sitting behind a desk signing cheques.
499
00:29:44,047 --> 00:29:47,642
It's not gonna be like that.
From what I understood from Mr Teddy,
500
00:29:47,687 --> 00:29:51,236
he's going to be working
in the factory with the workers.
501
00:29:51,287 --> 00:29:53,801
Oh, the disgrace of it!
502
00:29:54,847 --> 00:29:56,724
Oh, it'll kill him.
503
00:29:56,767 --> 00:29:58,758
Hard work never hurt anyone.
504
00:29:59,247 --> 00:30:02,319
What do they make
at the Union Jack Rubber Company?
505
00:30:07,167 --> 00:30:10,603
Lots of different things made of rubber.
506
00:30:12,127 --> 00:30:13,526
What sort of things?
507
00:30:13,567 --> 00:30:15,717
Get on with your dinner, Ivy.
508
00:30:17,647 --> 00:30:20,400
- Another cup of coffee, Uncle Teddy?
- Huh?
509
00:30:20,447 --> 00:30:21,926
Oh, leave him.
510
00:30:21,967 --> 00:30:23,958
(Sighs) What a morning.
511
00:30:27,407 --> 00:30:30,046
I hope Daddy doesn't make us
all go out to work.
512
00:30:30,087 --> 00:30:31,884
It would be good for us.
513
00:30:31,927 --> 00:30:34,839
You just lie around all day,
chatting on the phone
514
00:30:34,887 --> 00:30:36,843
and making fish eyes at James.
515
00:30:36,887 --> 00:30:41,403
All you'll do with your life is marry
somebody like Jerry, have babies
516
00:30:41,447 --> 00:30:43,756
and they will all grow up
as idle as you are.
517
00:30:43,807 --> 00:30:46,605
- What do you do?
- That's not the point.
518
00:30:46,647 --> 00:30:49,286
I'm aware of what's going on around me
and I care.
519
00:30:49,327 --> 00:30:52,876
Do you realise there are three million
unemployed in this country
520
00:30:52,927 --> 00:30:54,645
and half of them are starving?
521
00:30:54,687 --> 00:30:58,157
Jerry and I give them soup
every Thursday night.
522
00:30:58,207 --> 00:31:01,961
Not last Thursday, it was Angela's party.
Super!
523
00:31:02,007 --> 00:31:04,123
Well, I'm going to do something useful.
524
00:31:04,167 --> 00:31:06,044
What?
525
00:31:06,087 --> 00:31:08,965
I shall...learn to fly and be a pilot.
526
00:31:09,007 --> 00:31:11,646
Jolly good.
You'll take some poor pilot's job
527
00:31:11,687 --> 00:31:14,326
and there'll be three million and one
out of work.
528
00:31:14,367 --> 00:31:18,201
I obviously can't have
a serious conversation with you.
529
00:31:18,247 --> 00:31:20,203
- (Knock on door)
- Come in.
530
00:31:23,287 --> 00:31:26,677
- I've come for the coffee things.
- Thank you, Ivy.
531
00:31:31,567 --> 00:31:33,797
Is the Honourable Teddy all right?
532
00:31:33,847 --> 00:31:35,565
Yes, he's just a bit drowsy.
533
00:31:35,607 --> 00:31:37,598
He looks ever so pale.
534
00:31:40,167 --> 00:31:43,682
He's got a funny sort of wrinkle
under his left eye.
535
00:31:43,727 --> 00:31:47,117
Oh, of course,
that's where he keeps his eyeglass.
536
00:31:48,487 --> 00:31:50,637
- Shall I put it back?
- No!
537
00:31:50,687 --> 00:31:54,202
Well, his face looks half-finished
without it.
538
00:31:54,247 --> 00:31:56,317
Just take the coffee and go.
539
00:31:56,367 --> 00:31:58,881
I'll just loosen his collar.
540
00:32:00,087 --> 00:32:02,237
Oh, Rose! Rose!
541
00:32:02,287 --> 00:32:05,279
- Rose.
- Get off! Get off!
542
00:32:17,607 --> 00:32:19,518
Just left his lordship.
543
00:32:19,567 --> 00:32:21,842
- How is he?
- He's calmed down a bit now.
544
00:32:21,887 --> 00:32:25,675
Tomorrow morning, I've got to drive him
and Mr Teddy to the factory
545
00:32:25,727 --> 00:32:27,877
- and you're coming with us.
- What for?
546
00:32:27,927 --> 00:32:30,566
Maybe he thinks
one of the workers is a German.
547
00:32:30,607 --> 00:32:32,006
It's damn ridiculous.
548
00:32:32,047 --> 00:32:35,835
One person to go to work
and three people to hold his hand?
549
00:32:37,047 --> 00:32:39,481
These toffs make me sick.
550
00:32:39,527 --> 00:32:41,882
They should close down
the House of Lords,
551
00:32:41,927 --> 00:32:45,636
give 'em all a shovel
and stick 'em down the mines.
552
00:32:45,687 --> 00:32:49,396
You don't mind taking your wages
from his lordship every Friday.
553
00:32:49,447 --> 00:32:51,324
I have to live, the same as you.
554
00:32:51,367 --> 00:32:54,484
I can't wait for the day
when I tell him what to do.
555
00:32:54,527 --> 00:32:57,758
You're a fool, Alf Stokes,
and a dishonest one at that.
556
00:32:57,807 --> 00:33:00,879
How you came to have a nice daughter
like Ivy is beyond me.
557
00:33:00,927 --> 00:33:04,158
If it wasn't for her,
I'd have you out of here just like that.
558
00:33:04,207 --> 00:33:07,005
You're not gonna tell on us, are you?
559
00:33:07,047 --> 00:33:09,686
No, provided you both toe the line.
560
00:33:09,727 --> 00:33:14,596
You're a hard man, James Twelvetrees,
but I'm very grateful to you.
561
00:33:14,647 --> 00:33:17,957
It's a pity
you're such a pompous stuck-up prig.
562
00:33:19,247 --> 00:33:21,363
Having a nice little chat, are we?
563
00:33:22,647 --> 00:33:23,682
Yes.
564
00:33:23,727 --> 00:33:28,596
James was just reminding me in his
wonderful, usual, generous manner
565
00:33:28,647 --> 00:33:32,276
how grateful we should be
for him letting us stay in this house.
566
00:33:32,327 --> 00:33:34,966
Yes, thank you very much.
567
00:33:35,007 --> 00:33:37,726
Excuse me,
I must telephone the florist.
568
00:33:37,767 --> 00:33:41,555
Those flowers are wilting.
They must send some fresh ones.
569
00:33:45,727 --> 00:33:48,400
You two haven't been having words,
have you?
570
00:33:48,447 --> 00:33:50,517
No, we understand one another, Ivy.
571
00:33:50,567 --> 00:33:53,400
Hey, Ivy,
when you were in Lady Lavender's room,
572
00:33:53,447 --> 00:33:55,438
did you notice anything unusual?
573
00:33:55,487 --> 00:33:57,159
Yes, a mongoose.
574
00:34:00,287 --> 00:34:03,597
- A mongoose?
- A stuffed one.
575
00:34:04,167 --> 00:34:05,566
Stuffed with money?
576
00:34:05,607 --> 00:34:07,438
No, I found it under the bed.
577
00:34:07,487 --> 00:34:10,638
- What were you doing under the bed?
- Nothing.
578
00:34:10,687 --> 00:34:14,362
- Did you see a suitcase?
- I'm not going to talk about it.
579
00:34:14,407 --> 00:34:15,999
You did, didn't you?
580
00:34:16,047 --> 00:34:19,278
Look, Ivy, I know all about
Lady Lavender going to the bank
581
00:34:19,327 --> 00:34:22,125
and bringing all her money home
in pound notes.
582
00:34:22,167 --> 00:34:24,123
It was full of money, wasn't it?
583
00:34:24,167 --> 00:34:27,603
I promised Lady Lavender
I wouldn't talk about it.
584
00:34:27,647 --> 00:34:32,004
Just think, all that money under the bed
and what use is it to her?
585
00:34:32,047 --> 00:34:34,242
It could be doing someone some good.
586
00:34:34,287 --> 00:34:37,484
You're getting that look of greed
in your eyes again, Dad.
587
00:34:38,367 --> 00:34:40,119
It's not greed, it's politics.
588
00:34:40,167 --> 00:34:43,079
I'm talking about
the redistribution of wealth.
589
00:34:43,127 --> 00:34:44,924
Well, burglars do that.
590
00:34:46,247 --> 00:34:50,286
You'll never understand, Ivy,
but just promise me this -
591
00:34:50,327 --> 00:34:52,761
if she offers you a handful,
don't refuse it.
592
00:34:54,167 --> 00:34:56,158
Oh, I do love you, Dad.
593
00:34:56,207 --> 00:34:58,641
I just wish you weren't so greedy
and rotten.
594
00:35:12,327 --> 00:35:14,318
- Good morning, sir.
- What?
595
00:35:14,367 --> 00:35:16,676
Good morning., It's seven o'clock, sir.
596
00:35:17,807 --> 00:35:21,197
Seven o'clock?
What on earth are you doing?
597
00:35:21,247 --> 00:35:24,159
Bally cheek.
It's still the middle of the night.
598
00:35:25,087 --> 00:35:27,362
You're going to work, sir.
599
00:35:27,407 --> 00:35:31,195
Oh, God, yes. It all comes flooding back.
It's a nightmare.
600
00:35:31,247 --> 00:35:33,715
I'm sure you'll enjoy it
when you get there.
601
00:35:33,767 --> 00:35:36,804
Perhaps I should've agreed
to marry Madge Cartwright.
602
00:35:36,847 --> 00:35:39,315
I wouldn't have to get up at this hour.
603
00:35:39,367 --> 00:35:42,006
Shall I tell his lordship
you changed your mind?
604
00:35:42,047 --> 00:35:45,005
No, I... I suppose
I better go through with it.
605
00:35:45,047 --> 00:35:46,924
What shall I wear?
606
00:35:46,967 --> 00:35:50,198
May I suggest something
not too flamboyant, sir.
607
00:35:50,247 --> 00:35:53,637
- What do you mean?
- Don't upset your fellow workers.
608
00:35:53,687 --> 00:35:57,475
Who cares what the bally workers think?
Bally cheek.
609
00:35:57,527 --> 00:35:59,597
I'll wear what I bally-well like.
610
00:36:00,287 --> 00:36:01,959
Lay out my tartan suit.
611
00:36:03,327 --> 00:36:04,521
As you wish, sir.
612
00:36:05,967 --> 00:36:07,958
(Knock on door)
613
00:36:13,487 --> 00:36:15,284
Morning, Miss Cissy.
614
00:36:19,847 --> 00:36:23,396
- What on earth's going on, Ivy?
- I brought your breakfast early.
615
00:36:23,447 --> 00:36:27,042
We're not having it in the dining room.
Mr Teddy's going to work.
616
00:36:27,087 --> 00:36:31,285
His lordship's going, so's Mr Twelvetrees
and Mr Stokes is driving the car.
617
00:36:31,327 --> 00:36:32,965
What's that got to do with me?
618
00:36:33,007 --> 00:36:36,966
It's his lordship's orders.
Everybody's got to stop lounging about
619
00:36:37,007 --> 00:36:39,237
and you've all got to get up early.
620
00:36:39,287 --> 00:36:44,236
What's going on, Cissy? The maid's just
been and plunked my breakfast down.
621
00:36:44,287 --> 00:36:46,755
You can jolly well take it away again, Ivy.
622
00:36:46,807 --> 00:36:50,402
I can't eat porridge and bacon and eggs
at seven in the morning.
623
00:36:50,447 --> 00:36:52,358
Would you rather have a kipper?
624
00:36:52,407 --> 00:36:54,045
No, I would not!
625
00:36:54,087 --> 00:36:56,442
It's got nothing to do with me,
Miss Poppy.
626
00:36:56,487 --> 00:36:58,955
Of course it's to do with you,
you woke me up.
627
00:36:59,007 --> 00:37:01,840
It's Daddy.
He's gone completely off his rocker.
628
00:37:01,887 --> 00:37:04,037
I had to get up at half past five.
629
00:37:04,087 --> 00:37:05,998
You're paid to get up early, I'm not.
630
00:37:06,047 --> 00:37:08,356
I didn't get to bed till three.
631
00:37:08,407 --> 00:37:10,238
I'm sorry, Miss Poppy.
632
00:37:10,287 --> 00:37:12,642
Well, just watch your step in future.
633
00:37:29,567 --> 00:37:31,000
Mr Stokes.
634
00:37:31,047 --> 00:37:32,446
Yes?
635
00:37:32,487 --> 00:37:36,321
There are two thumb prints
on the radiator adjacent to the mascot.
636
00:37:36,367 --> 00:37:38,961
Well, huh on them and rub 'em off,
James.
637
00:37:40,567 --> 00:37:43,206
- Have you a duster?
- Use your sleeve.
638
00:37:47,887 --> 00:37:50,526
Oh, they're taking him in the big car.
639
00:37:50,567 --> 00:37:52,364
Looks like an 'earse.
640
00:37:52,407 --> 00:37:56,366
When my poor old dad passed on,
we couldn't afford an 'earse,
641
00:37:56,407 --> 00:37:58,637
we had to push him on a fruit barrow.
642
00:37:58,687 --> 00:38:01,326
And when we took the coffin
in the church,
643
00:38:01,367 --> 00:38:04,677
there were all cabbage leaves
stuck to the bottom.
644
00:38:10,567 --> 00:38:12,239
- Mr Stokes.
- What is it?
645
00:38:12,287 --> 00:38:14,005
When his lordship is ready,
646
00:38:14,047 --> 00:38:17,437
I shall go out into the road
and hold up the traffic for him.
647
00:38:28,127 --> 00:38:30,118
Bye, Uncle Teddy.
648
00:38:32,447 --> 00:38:35,917
- Do hurry up. You'll be late.
- But you own the bally factory.
649
00:38:35,967 --> 00:38:38,322
We have to set an example
to the workers.
650
00:38:38,367 --> 00:38:40,164
Good luck, Uncle Teddy.
651
00:38:43,567 --> 00:38:46,161
I do hope we don't have
to do this every morning.
652
00:38:46,207 --> 00:38:48,562
Stokes looks ridiculous driving the car.
653
00:38:48,607 --> 00:38:51,644
- Daddy should have a chauffeur.
- He's far too stingy.
654
00:38:53,167 --> 00:38:57,683
Oh! Oh, Mr Teddy, you're so brave.
655
00:38:57,727 --> 00:39:02,164
As if you didn't have to suffer enough
in the war.
656
00:39:02,207 --> 00:39:06,564
Don't worry, Mrs Lipton,
I shall be back...about teatime.
657
00:39:07,887 --> 00:39:10,082
Come on, Teddy, get in the car!
658
00:39:12,047 --> 00:39:13,275
Good luck.
659
00:39:17,527 --> 00:39:19,006
When you're ready, m'lord,
660
00:39:19,047 --> 00:39:21,800
I will go out into the road
and stop the traffic.
661
00:39:21,847 --> 00:39:23,041
Good.
662
00:39:23,087 --> 00:39:28,115
It's a far, far better thing he's doing now
than what he ever did done before.
663
00:39:30,327 --> 00:39:33,478
- Union Jack Rubber Company, Stokes.
- Yes, m'lord.
664
00:39:36,647 --> 00:39:38,046
Bye.
665
00:39:38,087 --> 00:39:40,317
Stop the traffic. Stop the traffic.
666
00:40:09,687 --> 00:40:11,678
Thank you.
667
00:40:13,087 --> 00:40:16,124
- This is the factory, Teddy.
- I can see that.
668
00:40:19,247 --> 00:40:20,839
What's that fella doing?
669
00:40:20,887 --> 00:40:23,481
I say, you, fella, come over here.
670
00:40:27,847 --> 00:40:28,836
Yes, sir?
671
00:40:28,887 --> 00:40:31,003
- Are you employed here?
- Yes, sir.
672
00:40:31,047 --> 00:40:35,006
Why are you lounging about smoking
a cigarette? Why aren't you working?
673
00:40:35,047 --> 00:40:38,437
I'm waiting for the ambulance, sir.
I've broken my arm.
674
00:40:38,487 --> 00:40:40,523
Oh.
675
00:40:40,567 --> 00:40:43,035
Well, I'm sure it'll be here soon.
676
00:40:43,087 --> 00:40:44,486
Good chap.
677
00:40:44,527 --> 00:40:46,324
Ow!
678
00:40:52,287 --> 00:40:54,482
Good morning, m'lord.
679
00:40:54,527 --> 00:40:56,802
This is Mr Foster, the factory manager.
680
00:40:56,847 --> 00:40:58,758
Good morning, er...sir.
681
00:40:58,807 --> 00:41:03,437
- Hello.
- Foster, I want you to give my brother
682
00:41:03,487 --> 00:41:06,001
a working knowledge of the factory.
683
00:41:06,047 --> 00:41:08,800
You leave it to me, sir.
This way, please.
684
00:41:10,167 --> 00:41:12,522
I hope his lordship
knows what he's doing.
685
00:41:12,567 --> 00:41:14,523
Well, James, I've always said,
686
00:41:14,567 --> 00:41:18,003
you can't beat starting at the bottom
for ten minutes.
687
00:41:30,087 --> 00:41:32,078
Come along, Teddy.
688
00:41:33,167 --> 00:41:34,520
Morning.
689
00:41:35,887 --> 00:41:37,286
Morning.
690
00:41:38,287 --> 00:41:39,925
Morning.
691
00:41:42,287 --> 00:41:46,360
I thought we'd start the honourable
Mr Edward in here, your lordship.
692
00:41:46,407 --> 00:41:49,604
This is where product samples
are brought for testing.
693
00:41:49,647 --> 00:41:53,037
Hear that, Teddy? This is where samples
are brought for testing.
694
00:41:53,087 --> 00:41:54,486
Of course I heard it!
695
00:41:54,527 --> 00:41:57,883
- This is our foreman, Mr Barnes.
- Morning, your lordship.
696
00:41:57,927 --> 00:42:03,604
Now, your lordship, if you'll excuse me,
I have a deputation coming to see me.
697
00:42:03,647 --> 00:42:06,923
The wage cut you ordered
is causing problems, m'lord.
698
00:42:06,967 --> 00:42:09,003
It's only tuppence an hour.
699
00:42:09,047 --> 00:42:12,039
Times are hard.
We all have to make sacrifices.
700
00:42:12,087 --> 00:42:16,160
- Perhaps you'd care to explain it, m'lord.
- Oh, no, you're better at that.
701
00:42:16,207 --> 00:42:18,038
- You go ahead.
- Yes, m'lord.
702
00:42:18,087 --> 00:42:19,566
- Carry on, Barnes.
- Sir.
703
00:42:19,607 --> 00:42:21,757
- Carry on, Barnes.
- Your lordship.
704
00:42:21,807 --> 00:42:26,358
Well now, sir, if it's made of rubber,
705
00:42:26,407 --> 00:42:29,797
it's made
by the Union Jack Rubber Company.
706
00:42:29,847 --> 00:42:32,998
And if it's made by
the Union Jack Rubber Company,
707
00:42:33,047 --> 00:42:37,325
then his lordship insists
that it is of top quality.
708
00:42:37,367 --> 00:42:39,597
Hear that, Teddy?
709
00:42:39,647 --> 00:42:43,356
Charlie here, he tests the tyre casings.
710
00:42:56,847 --> 00:43:00,760
And Jock... He's on inner tubes.
711
00:43:04,007 --> 00:43:10,321
And, er, young Jim here, he tests the
little bits of rubber on the end of pencils.
712
00:43:11,607 --> 00:43:13,438
Well, show his lordship, son.
713
00:43:18,847 --> 00:43:20,246
It's come off.
714
00:43:20,287 --> 00:43:22,278
Reject it, lad, reject it.
715
00:43:25,847 --> 00:43:28,566
You can manage that, can't you, Teddy?
716
00:43:28,607 --> 00:43:32,998
Now, sir, Cyril,
he does surgical gloves.
717
00:43:42,247 --> 00:43:44,636
- Where do you test...?
- In another room.
718
00:43:44,687 --> 00:43:46,484
You need compressed air for that.
719
00:43:46,527 --> 00:43:48,677
- Am I going to...
- No, probably not.
720
00:43:49,407 --> 00:43:53,446
We have three respectable married ladies
who specialise.
721
00:43:53,487 --> 00:43:55,478
What do I do?
722
00:43:55,527 --> 00:43:58,405
I thought we'd start you off
at this end, sir.
723
00:43:58,447 --> 00:44:01,519
It's baby comforters
and invalid cushions.
724
00:44:01,567 --> 00:44:05,446
You test the comforter like so -
just give it a good hard bite.
725
00:44:12,327 --> 00:44:15,478
And the...invalid cushion,
you blow it up...
726
00:44:26,607 --> 00:44:29,167
then you immerse it in a bowl of water.
727
00:44:29,207 --> 00:44:31,880
George, if you think
I'm going to spend all day...
728
00:44:31,927 --> 00:44:33,326
Teddy, you promised.
729
00:44:33,367 --> 00:44:36,564
The honourable Edward's overalls,
m'lord.
730
00:44:36,607 --> 00:44:39,838
I'm not taking my trousers off
in front of these workers.
731
00:44:39,887 --> 00:44:42,196
That won't be necessary, sir.
732
00:44:42,247 --> 00:44:44,886
Allow me, sir.
733
00:44:44,927 --> 00:44:49,842
You can put the coat in the honourable
Mr Edward's locker with his lunchbox.
734
00:44:49,887 --> 00:44:52,799
Where is the honourable Mr Edward's
lunchbox, James?
735
00:44:52,847 --> 00:44:55,315
I wasn't instructed to bring a lunchbox.
736
00:44:55,367 --> 00:44:57,881
Has he no' brought his piece with him?
737
00:44:57,927 --> 00:44:59,121
I beg your pardon?
738
00:44:59,167 --> 00:45:03,206
If he hasnae brought his piece with him,
he can have a loan o' mine.
739
00:45:03,247 --> 00:45:06,284
Awfully kind of you,
but I'll get something sent round.
740
00:45:06,327 --> 00:45:09,285
What do you want for lunch, Teddy?
Stokes, make a note.
741
00:45:09,327 --> 00:45:10,442
M'lord.
742
00:45:10,487 --> 00:45:13,684
Oh, a little cold consommé,
743
00:45:13,727 --> 00:45:17,356
some cold salmon
with hollandaise sauce,
744
00:45:17,407 --> 00:45:20,797
potato salad,
oh, yes, and some raspberry fool.
745
00:45:20,847 --> 00:45:22,565
With cream, sir?
746
00:45:22,607 --> 00:45:26,600
Of course.
Oh, and a half bottle of Paul Roget, 1919.
747
00:45:26,647 --> 00:45:30,925
I'll leave you to it.
James, Stokes, to the car.
748
00:45:30,967 --> 00:45:32,719
On to the City, m'lord?
749
00:45:32,767 --> 00:45:35,600
Oh, no, I think I've done enough
for one day.
750
00:45:35,647 --> 00:45:39,959
Oh, I shall send Ivy on the bus
with your lunch at 12:30, sir.
751
00:46:02,327 --> 00:46:03,726
Good morning, ma'am.
752
00:46:03,767 --> 00:46:06,725
Hello. We've brought Mr Teddy's lunch.
753
00:46:06,767 --> 00:46:08,962
- Oh, carry on.
- Thank you.
754
00:46:16,887 --> 00:46:19,117
They all taste of bally rubber.
755
00:46:19,167 --> 00:46:21,761
We've had no complaints
frae the bairns so far.
756
00:46:23,487 --> 00:46:26,957
Mr Teddy?
Oh, Mr Teddy, we've brought your lunch.
757
00:46:27,007 --> 00:46:29,043
Oh, thank goodness for that.
758
00:46:29,087 --> 00:46:32,875
Hey, Jimmy, ye'll no start tae eat
till ye hear the hooter.
759
00:46:36,007 --> 00:46:37,804
I'll get it ready.
760
00:46:38,647 --> 00:46:42,242
After ye've tested them,
ye're supposed tae put 'em in the box.
761
00:46:42,287 --> 00:46:44,437
Well, they're too fat.
762
00:46:44,487 --> 00:46:47,399
Ye have tae get the air out.
763
00:46:47,447 --> 00:46:49,483
Oh? How do I do that?
764
00:46:50,367 --> 00:46:52,403
Sit on them.
765
00:46:58,447 --> 00:47:00,438
(Loud parp)
766
00:47:06,647 --> 00:47:09,719
I don't think this sort of work suits him,
Henry.
767
00:47:53,603 --> 00:47:57,603
Ripped by malgabo
Sync by sutyiboy
768
00:48:00,687 --> 00:48:02,962
* From Mayfair to Park Lane
769
00:48:03,007 --> 00:48:05,475
* You will hear the same refrain
770
00:48:05,527 --> 00:48:08,963
* In every house again, again
771
00:48:09,007 --> 00:48:10,918
You rang, m'lord?
772
00:48:10,967 --> 00:48:13,481
* Stepping out on the town
773
00:48:13,527 --> 00:48:16,166
* The social whirl goes round and round
774
00:48:16,207 --> 00:48:19,404
* The rich are up, the poor are down
775
00:48:19,447 --> 00:48:21,517
You rang, m'lord?
776
00:48:21,567 --> 00:48:24,035
* The bunny hug at the Shim-Sham Club
777
00:48:24,087 --> 00:48:26,123
* The Charleston at The Ritz
778
00:48:27,007 --> 00:48:29,441
* And at the Troc, do the turkey trot
779
00:48:29,487 --> 00:48:32,320
* They give Aunt Maud a thousand fits
780
00:48:33,727 --> 00:48:35,922
* Talking flicks are here today
781
00:48:35,967 --> 00:48:39,801
* And Lindbherg's from the USA
782
00:48:40,487 --> 00:48:46,596
* Poor Valentino's passed away...
783
00:48:49,127 --> 00:48:51,083
How sad, m'lord.