Hi. I'm Lucy Chadman.
Lucy Chadman. And you?
Hello to you, big boy.
You look wonderful.
Hi, Flippy. Oh, Flippy!
I forgot my... purse.
- Here you go, Mom. - Thanks.
Have fun.
My feet hurt already. Why did I wear these shoes?
They're too new. They're too black.
Lucy. Stop worrying about the Holts' party. Please?
Sure. I'll be right in my element.
Doctors, TV producers, lawyers, art critics.
And that's just the women!
Jason, you know how brilliant you are.
Do you have to prove it to all those jazzy people? We don't belong in that world.
I'm tired of doing dentists. If I'm named Chief of Plastic Surgery at Knickerbocker,
I'll be operating on the biggest names. I'll be right on top.
You're on top now. Look at all the people that give you their noses every year.
Wait, we better stop. I need to fix my shoe.
Can you imagine me living in this neighborhood?
If they catch you smiling or doing anything remotely human,
the block association would have you assassinated.
- Do I look OK? - Beautiful.
You look great.
- Do I have lipstick on my teeth? - No.
- Are you sure? - You're beautiful.
Regina.
My favorite plastic surgeon, except for Bruce, of course.
Welcome, you brave man, working night and day
to stop suburbia from sagging.
Of course, I don't expect to look 45,
but if you could just...
Lucy!
Come and meet Phineas Devereux of Devereux and Devereux.
- Oh, yeah. Sure. - And President of the board of...
Knicker... bocker...
Hospital.
So the idiot, he cuts, he cuts.
He puts one hand inside, the other hand in the other side.
He starts to shake hands somewhere around the chin.
At which point the patient starts to come to. "Doctor-t-r. Doctor-t-r".
- Excuse me. It's a beautiful party. - Thank you.
- Hi. I'm Lu... - I beg your pardon.
Do you have kids?
Oh, nice shoes. Are they comfortable?
- Oh, Kim! - Hi.
Hi.
Isn't this party absolutely sublime?
It beats a cesspool backup.
What do you care? You live in the suburbs and you have a husband.
Yeah, well, you've had three husbands. Do you want another one?
- You do? Oh, God, Kim. - Come on, let's have a look around.
Hastings. He swore he'd tear up the prenuptial agreement, but he didn't.
And then he promised me a whole safe full of goodies, but there weren't any.
Then he died before he could buy me the diamond earrings he promised me.
Important diamonds.
I didn't get a cent.
I'd settle for a pair of comfortable shoes.
Will you lighten up? You didn't marry Hastings for his money.
Of course I did. What else do you get married for? Love?
Love lasts six, eight months, tops. Money's forever.
Well, this is me.
A little tight. Oh. Thank you.
Let me guess.
Obviously, you're not fashion. Not PR.
Publishing?
I was a teacher. K through three.
Now I do volunteer work at a day-care center.
Mainly, I'm a housewife and a mother.
My son was just accepted at Columbia.
- But he wants to be a chef. - Fascinating. Excuse me.
Tell me about him. Did you teach him to cook, or did you...?
There was a chocolate mush cake.
My dear, I hear you've just given an indecent contribution
to the Manhattan Museum.
Excuse me.
Oh. Oh!
Oh, I'm...
sorry. Take mine.
- Zelda! - I'm up!
Zel, I need to talk.
Wow.
You look terrible.
What's the matter, huh?
Come on. You can't fool your own sister.
I need to talk about last night.
- I was not at my most graceful. - You're never at your most graceful.
Actually, it's not just last night.
I think Jason needs... more stimulation.
- Give him a laxative. - Oh, nice. You know I...
I invoke the master magicians. Zoroaster, Apollonius,
Simon of the temple
- and the great Trithemius. - Oh, Zelda.
I invoke the keepers of the heart.
- I... - I, yi, yi. I wish you'd sit down already.
Zel, you know how I get when I'm real nervous?
Like that time I sat on Cousin Carol's cheesecake.
Yeah, well, this was the worst, Zel. The worst.
The awful part is that Jason really deserves some respect, some real recognition.
He's a brilliant surgeon and so creative.
- A tushy lift is creative? - So it's not a sonnet.
He's a wonderful doctor...
and father and husband... and I wanted to help him.
You should never help a human being who earns his living by suctioning thigh fat.
Are you embarrassed that I don't have a career?
I want you to do whatever makes you happy.
You know, Kim has a career. Do you want me to be more like Kim?
I made that choice a long time ago, remember?
When I was in medical school and you and Kim were just kids, freshmen in college.
Hm?
I couldn't believe you chose me. I still can't.
I thought you were gone on her.
Kim was so beautiful, so dynamic, so...
- Flippy. - Kim is all flash.
The only interest she has in men is what she can get from them.
It was true then. It's truer now.
Danny, it looks great.
There's no reason why you can't cook and go to Columbia.
Dad. For the millionth time. This is the only thing I want to do.
It's my calling. Like you're a surgeon and Mom's...
a mom.
Right on top here.
Ready? OK.
Now you try.
Lucy. You've made unbelievable strides with him. You're absolutely indispensable.
He's a good kid.
OK, Paul, it's all yours. Take it away. OK!
Yeah! Great.
Jason. My favorite brother-in-law, my only brother-in-law.
You know, I have been working on a formula for a potion.
You will never have to lay a blade to fatty tissue again.
Clean yourself up. You're embarrassing.
- Not today. - Just think about it, Jason. Huh?
Hi. Lucy! My name's Zelda. I have a story for you.
Hey, don't worry. I'm just Lucy's eccentric sister. Just enjoy.
Anyway, we were sitting around in a circle of seven - the best number for a séance.
Are you crazy?
You just killed a transmigrating soul.
That could've been Beethoven, Botticelli...
Jack Benny.
Lucy. If I get this job. These are the people I'm going to be working with.
They don't have to know my sister-in-law has conversations with dead people!
Last night. The other side spoke through me.
The voice was crystal clear.
"My name is."
"Isidlore Nusebaum."
"I am beyond."
I am dead.
This guy used to own a shoe store on King's Highway and now he's beyond.
He went on to say, "Hear me."
"Urgent. Reorder wing tips. Nine, triple-Es."
"Black."
What a night. Makes you glad to be alive.
Danny, the hors d'oeuvres are marvelous.
Ooh, what are these? Another culinary triumph?
Mmm. Mmm.
Danny, you are divine.
It's just some French stuff.
You...
You belong outside, being the most enchanting hostess on Long Island.
Lucy, stop pretending to be happy.
- I am happy. - Fine.
Except maybe Jason wants a zippier life.
Lucy. Let me help you. Get some decent clothes, get a job.
Let me help you keep Jason.
I think I passed cute two years ago.
Maybe three.
Don't be silly.
You could look like... this.
"But I wouldn't want that. Lucy. I love you just the way you are."
Right.
Parties like this, this could be our future.
I've been thinking about our future.
It's a good sign getting invited to Phineas Devereux's.
His Fourth of July parties are famous.
How about another baby?
- Another what? - I'm young enough to have more children.
Look, we had Danny right away, and then you had your internship.
Lucy. This is because Danny's graduated and you feel pressured to get a job.
I think that's really oversimplifying.
Ah. The King of Collagen.
- And sweet little, uh... - Lucy. Sweet little Lucy.
Oh, yes, of course, my dear. Of course.
Do you think there'll be a husband number four?
What Kim spends a year in silk blouses
is equal to the national debt of Bolivia. There has to be a number four.
Of course, he may not be too thrilled to hear how number three died.
Do you mean during...?
No. Just after.
According to Kim. He came and went.
Hi.
Jason, if you want to live life in the fast lane, you have to move.
Circulate. Ooze charm. Don't be seen talking to your wife.
Slim pickings this afternoon.
They're married or they dribble or they're otherwise engaged.
- To each other? - Right.
There's my ex-stepson, Hastings Lacey, Jr.
Big rich. He inherited everything.
- Hello. - Hi.
- Rocky marriage. See you later. - Knock 'em dead.
- Hello, hello! - Hello.
- Phineas. Splendid party. - So glad.
Now, Jason. Our decision has been a long time coming,
but you and Bruce will know quite soon.
We break ground on the new plastic surgery wing this fall.
- Pardon me. - Uh-huh. Oh!
I got it. Wait, wait, wait. I got it. No problem, no problem. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
OK, here we go. See? It's no problem. Honey.
This is the most fun that I've had in years.
Lucy, now don't move.
I feel like I'm trapped in a Trojan.
A pleated Trojan with fringe.
Here we go. It's almost on.
Why do I need a new look? Jason likes my old look.
He liked it in college - adorable, sweet.
You're too old for adorable.
I have never seen you look more beautiful. It's perfect.
Can I try something else?
- Yoo-hoo! - I'm here!
Wait till you see me.
South Korean chicken ball?
No, but I'd love to see the chicken.
I don't like your aura. It's turning purple.
Something's very strange.
- My dress? - No.
My sister?
Besides me. I've got a book on auras with a color chart.
It's gotta be here somewhere.
Maybe it's in the bedroom. Give me a second.
I gotta clean this place someday.
Oh, let's see. Cabala.
They're Magic and They're Fun.
Oh!
I can't figure out that purple.
Does it mean that one of your past lives is trying to... send a message?
Or does it mean future purple?
You know, something is gonna happen.
Come on. Lucy. Come on. Baby. I love you. Mend my sister, please.
Oh, doctor, heal her quick.
- Vital signs? - 170. 60.
Fine. Call Anesthesia. Start a dopamine drip.
Come on. Lucy. Oh, Lucy.
- I'm Dr. Chadman. - Later. Cross and type, now!
Wha... wha... I'm her husband!
They opened an airway in the ambulance. They hit a bleeder.
- They what? - Pressure dropping. 40.
- Light. More light. - More ventilation.
Come on, breathe. Come on, sweetheart, breathe.
- There's no pressure. We're losing her. - Oh, Lucy.
Come on. Come on, you've got to live.
Breathe. Fight.
Come on. Try.
Try for me. Come on. Try.
Try for me.
And now a moment of silence for each of us to remember our beloved Lucy.
Let's have a smile, Mr. Devereux.
We'll just shave it off.
Shave it ever so slightly.
- Very nice. - You like it?
- I like it. - Look good?
Look! Look!
Lucy!
Lucy. Wait. I got chicken. Wait!
Lucy!
Zelda!
Zelda?
Hello? Wake up. Oh. Yeah.
Are you all right? Hello? What's wrong?
Are you in a trance"? Am I in a trance?
How did we get here?
Are you having a good time? I'm happy for you.
I can't say as I feel the same way. It's kind of bizarre here, Zel. You know? Spooky.
Let's get out of here.
Oh, my God. What am I doing in this dress?
Kim said it would be "perfect" for you, but...
Who are we kidding? I wouldn't be caught dead in this dress.
What is going on, Zelda? Did you put funny herbs in my tea?
- Oh, Lucy. You're here! - Oh, yeah. I'm here. Oh. Boy, am I here.
Tell me something. How did I get here at night in this dress?
I bought something that was much more you, but Kim...
When did you start listening to Kim? This is all very weird. I don't believe it.
I don't believe it!
I swear on every star in the sky, you were...
Will you stop with the dead business.
Did I pass out? Was I sick? High fever?
Oh, my God. It's the middle of the night! I gotta get home to Jason.
- He's not expecting you tonight. - Oh.
Danny. Is Danny all right?
I feel like something's happened.
- Danny's fine. Everything's just fine. - Tell him.
I still can't figure out how you got me there.
Lucy. You were D-E-A-D.
I've got to get this dress off. Do you have something I could wear?
I was working against time.
If I was gonna bring you back, it had to be exactly one year to the day after you died.
I'm having déja vu.
Well, there was more to it than that, naturally.
The astrological configurations, the purity of soul and the incantation, of course.
Hm, I like that.
- I knew you would. - Yeah.
I thought this thing was totally wrong for the occasion,
but Kim said "Oh, no. It's so great."
And that it was the most beautiful thing you'd ever worn.
That's what I bought for you. Much more appropriate.
Now listen, I've got to go home.
Wait a minute. Have I got a pork roast defrosting?
I hope not. Just let me explain.
See, I got this big shipment of used books
from the estate of a white witch in Sandusky.
A run-of-the-mill collection.
Except there it was.
The Wisdom of Catagonia.
It's all crumbly, see, and it does smell like old gym socks,
but what a treasure. Oh!
They had all the spells for love
and making money. Healing and conquering death. That was the killer.
If you'll pardon the expression.
Can I borrow twenty bucks?
You don't believe me.
Look. Just look.
Look at the date.
Oh, stop this!
You had this made up at one of those tourist places on 42nd Street.
"Doreen and Duane Watkins Take New York by Storm."
No, I swear by the ancient healers. Lucy. Listen to me!
All right, all right. You brought me back from the dead.
- Nice of you to take the time. - Wait, the condolence cards.
Wait till you see... I saved every single one of 'em.
Every snotty friend you had in Manhattan.
God, what did I do with those?
Some day I really do have to clean this place. I can never find anything!
Come on. Jase.
I'm sorry. I must have the... wrong...
- This isn't the Chadman house? - This is the Burns residence.
Uh-huh.
OK.
Dr. Chadman was the previous owner.
- Excuse me. Was this ever a playground? - Yeah. They tore that down last winter.
Thank you.
Where were you?
Where's Jason? Where's Danny?
What happened to our house? What happened to me? Is Flippy all right?
Everything's fine. And you thought I was kidding.
Ho-ho-ho. Zelda makes an occult joke.
Come here.
Look. Look at the date.
A year has gone by.
Do you think I had all these made up on 42nd Street?
You think he's in on the plot?
You remember the South Korean chicken ball?
You remember.
You remember dying in the Knickerbocker Hospital emergency room?
I remember a...
You choked on the chicken ball. Anyway, you died before your time.
That is the first requirement in the wisdom of Catagonia.
The second is that the evoker, that's me,
has to have a love that is utterly pure.
Catagonians didn't know from ambivalence.
So. OK, you think that's it? Huh-uh.
The spell only works a year from the day of death,
and. While it's being intoned,
the Earth, the moon and the Dog Star have to form a perfect isosceles triangle.
Well, good.
I understand.
Lucy. You were dead!
When we get back to the city, you go to the emergency room.
You ask to see your records, if you don't believe me.
Lucy. You died.
- Hello, is there someone in charge that I... - Dr. Scanlon.
Dr. Scanlon?
Dr. Scanlon.
- Excuse me, Dr. Scanlon? - Yeah.
Excuse me, Doctor?
Oh.
- May I...? - Yeah, sure.
By any chance... Oh!
Are you OK?
I'm fine.
By any chance, do you remember me?
My sister... Some people call her peculiar.
She says I was here a year ago. Something stuck in my throat.
She says I choked to death.
Listen., if you don't take a walk, I'm gonna have to call Security, OK?
I know how crazy this sounds. Do I even look a little bit familiar?
Maybe my husband was there. Jason Chadman?
Jason Chadman, the new chief of plastics?
Is that who you mean?
Oh, God! He made it!
- Well, his wife died. - She... She...
- She died? - Yeah. She died.
Could you help me?
Please.
This is crazy.
Come on.
This is Lucy Chadman's x-ray from a year ago. This is yours.
It's unbelievable. An old fracture.
It's exactly the same.
- Lucy Chadman was A... - B negative. I know.
Yeah.
Is it still?
Well, we'll see.
AB negative.
You and this Lucy Chadman.
You could be. You could be. I'm not saying that you are...
the same person.
Are you sure you're OK?
Oh, I'm fine. Oh! Oh, I'm sorry!
It's OK. Leave it. Leave it. Leave it. Thank you. That's it.
- Am I alive? - Well, you're not dead.
Is there anything different about me?
I'm going to order every test we've got.
You name it, we are going to study it.
You know what's so funny about this?
Just this morning, my sister - Zelda, the peculiar one -
she asked me if I remembered anything about when I... you know.
And I flashed on this face. And when I came in and you looked up
and it was you. It was your... face.
Write your address, your telephone number so we can set up appointments.
Now I've got to call the department heads.
Yes. Do you have a residence for a Dr. Jason Chadman?
Uh-huh.
And I'll need the address, please.
And that's Manhattan?
And that's Manhattan.
Good morning. Sir. I don't think there's anything for you.
Um, Dr. Chadman. Please.
Hi, I'm Lucy. I'm here to see Dr. Chadman.
Dr. Chadman is not up as yet.
Not up? It's almost lunch time.
If you'd be so good as to leave your name, I'd be glad...
Jason?
Jason!
Yoo-hoo! Hello!
Jason! Come out, come out, wherever you are!
Mrs. Chadman!
- Yes! - Bye.
I... I can't believe, I can't accept...
What is this? Some sort of absurd joke? Who are you?
Jason, it's Lucy!
Put your glasses on and look at me!
I don't wear glasses anymore.
Must be a lot of laughs in the operating room.
- I wear contact lenses. - This is insane. Who are you?
Kim. It's Lucy! You've known me since freshman year. Come on.
- I am so happy that I am a Kappa... - Stop this.
You're dead! Buried!
This keeps coming up. Evidently, I was
and Zelda had this book. She did some sort of incantation or something
and here I am, again.
- Where's Danny? Is he all right? - He's fine.
- Oh, great. I'm dying to see... - Oh, God!
Let me rephrase that. I can't wait to see him.
Where's his room? Did he go to Columbia?
Is he here?
Flippy?
Oh, my God!
What did you do, send her to boot camp?
I'll get dressed. We'll go for a walk
and talk.
Just...
the two of us.
The doorman knows I'm married.
How about you, huh? Chief of Plastic Surgery. You must be so proud, Jase.
I gotta be honest here. It was not the thrill of my life to find you and Kim Lacey...
Chadman.
.In bed together.
But I understand. You probably married her just to keep me alive.
Are you... Do you...
feel... all right?
Actually, I'm hungry. I haven't eaten for...
Was it awful for you, Jason?
You must've been so lonely. Is that why you married her?
I'm sorry.
I have been very selfish, as usual,
sitting here thinking about myself, thinking about my reaction,
not really... even trying to comprehend what you must be going through.
I'll tell you what.
You haven't seen the new plastic surgery atrium. It is beautiful.
Let's get out of here. Let me share that with you. Come on.
The new wing?
They were just getting ready to break ground.
It's like somebody put the world on fast forward.
Oh, there's Mike. The doctor who's a genius at chins.
- Fiske. Mike Fiske. Let's go say hello. - You can't. He was at your funeral.
I love what they're wearing, my kind of clothes.
It's an invasion from Westport. "The Attack of the Understated."
- Simplicity is in. - Oh, yes? Are housewives in?
Well, the housewife look is in. Warmth, homeyness.
It was Kim's concept. It's really taking off.
The smartest, toughest women want to make a sweet, maternal fashion statement.
Hi.
This isn't funny.
What is this. A mask? A double or something?
I don't think this is funny at all.
Right.
Oh, Mom.
Oh, look at the herbs.
My rosemary. My basil. Oh, honey, they never grew like this for me.
They're just beautiful. Everything is so beautiful.
- Thanks. - Yeah.
Mom, did...
- Did Dad tell you about...? - Kim?
Don't worry. Once he's had a chance to think it over, it'll be fine.
You know, Mom, a lot can happen in a year. With me, for instance.
I know. I see. But your dad is different.
He was never one of those guys that was trying to feel young again
by having a meaningful relationship with a Swedish airline stewardess. I died.
People tend to view that as final.
You live here?
It's been a wonderful year, Mom. Oh, I didn't mean anything by that.
- Oh, I know. Honey, I'm so proud of you. - You should be.
You're the one that got me started. Remember that chocolate mush cake?
Yeah, yeah.
Mom, this is Felicity Glick, the great restaurateur.
Hi.
- And my wife. - And your wife.
- Wife. You said "wife". - I thought you were dead.
Oh, look at this kitchen.
Oh.
My California fruit crate...
labels.
- You really kept me with you, didn't you? - Yeah.
I can just see you clipping parsley out of my pots in the restaurant,
thinking about your late mother.
Agh!
You cleaned? This is cleaning, right?
My son is cleaning?
I never thought I'd live to see the day. Actually, I didn't.
Mom, I don't think you've realized the importance of what's happened to you.
He's right.
It's earth-shattering.
I mean, if news got out about what Aunt Zel did,
it would change the way people look at life.
By any chance, do you know what's happened on Knots Landing?
Zelda, do you know what happened to the panties that go with this bra?
Hi.
It's a little more rapid, but no great difference.
Why did you walk out on me this morning?
- I had all those tests set up. You know? - Oh, I'm sorry. I...
Well... wanted...
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Take it easy. Just sit down. That's it.
- I'll be fine. - Let me see.
It's OK. It... Ah!
- Ta-da! - Oh, my locket.
Look at this. That's my son when he was six months old.
He looks just like you with no teeth. No hair.
Where did you get this?
Oh, from Dr. "Plastique."
He wanted to know if I was interested in any of your... personal effects.
This had the strongest emanations.
Sometimes you can get incredibly powerful vibrations from old brassieres.
But yours just had a slight hum. Well, I have to see a man about a unicorn.
Oh.
Tomorrow morning, 8:30 at the hospital. No breakfast.
And, um...
Yes?
Bring your first morning specimen.
OK.
Doctor.
I know you think I'm slightly batty, but that's OK.
Lucy. Who's known me longer than anybody,
thinks I'm not dealing from a full deck, even though I brought her back.
See, my problem is I have something very important I have to tell her.
There was a footnote in The Wisdom of Catagonia.
It says that she has to find true love
before the first full moon after her return
- or she has to go back. - Ah.
You know, it's really very sweet of you to act as a matchmaker for your sister.
I'm not acting as a matchmaker. She has less than a month.
This is where I need your advice. I mean, would knowing what might happen to her
make her feel insecure? I mean, should I tell her?
No.
Because if you did,
she would wear herself out running around looking for true love.
And that is the surest way not to find it.
Oh, absolutely.
- Thanks. - You're welcome.
Bye.
Lucy! What are you doing here?
My contribution to medical research. Dr. Scanlon's arranged for all sorts of tests.
Lucy. You can't be seen here. If you have those tests and word gets out...
What's in it for Scanlon, anyway? Why is he so interested?
Life after death isn't exactly an overworked area of medical research.
- Admit it. We had a wonderful marriage. - I was very content.
You make it sound like you were married to a cow.
No! No, no, no, no. But there's something to be said for...
heat.
What's wrong with you? Amnesia?
Is writing about Italian knitwear so much more important
than keeping a house and raising a child?
You're a fine, fine person.
You're my husband.
Hey, you know something? You really are. We're not divorced.
I spoke with my attorney. You're right.
We aren't legally divorced.
But you're legally dead.
My God.
- I'm sorry. - No. No.
- Ow! - Oh, Jason, I'm sorry, honey.
Let me get you something. Does it hurt?
Is it bleeding?
- Here, here. - No, I'm fine.
Oh, how could you have married her!
I hate to say this, but I have to live my life on a broader canvas.
A broader...?
Jason, I am not some floozy that you found at an arty cocktail party. Damn it!
I am your wife!
Shh! You have got to get out of here.
No! No, no. No! Out of town. Can't you see that this could be devastating?
It's already devastating.
Arizona?
I don't know anyone in Arizona.
That's the point. You'll go someplace where nobody knows you,
where you can start a new life, use another name.
I like Chadman.
Lucy... I have a new life, and it's marvelous.
I was given a second chance. A nice, clean second chance.
And I grabbed it.
- Do you know what you grabbed? Glitz. - No.
- Yes, true glitz. - No. Now, Lucy, listen to me, it's your turn.
Come on now, you must... Certainly, now, you must want to be something.
Why spend the rest of your life talking to a mop? Lucy. Stop thinking small.
Look at this! Would you look? Live life to the fullest.
"Lucy. I can be anything!"
Oh!
You're right, Jason.
I can be anything.
I've got some tests to do.
See you around, Doctor.
Am I normal?
Well, your tissue is behaving like normal human tissue.
Good.
It'd be a shame if you turned into something hairy with fangs.
You don't, do you?
I'm asking this...
because I have to make some plans for my life.
I have to know how long I'm gonna be around. You know?
I wish I could give you a guarantee, but I think you're like the rest of us.
You could be here for 50 years or you could be here for five minutes.
Returning from the dead was a cinch. Life is exhausting.
You walked out on me.
- Come on. Get your clothes on. - Stay where you are.
Don't you understand what he is up to? He is going to use you as a guinea pig.
Then he is going to write you up and have the papers published
in the créme de la créme of medical journals. He wants to be a star.
You're full of it! I'm a doctor.
Listen to me. Don't you see what a fantastic chance this is?
We work ourselves till we're punchy for one reason and one reason only
and that is to beat out death.
Even though in the end we know we've got to lose.
But you won. Lucy. And if there's anything about death that you can tell us,
we've got to find out.
This is my new life now, Jason. The one you don't want to be a part of.
Excuse us, we're kind of busy here.
I mean it.
- Did you always want to be a doctor? - Yeah. Ever since I was a kid... in Ireland.
I was one of those ambitious tenement kids that charities love.
So I came to this country on a medical scholarship
and I found out that being a doctor is the greatest thing in the world.
Only thing is, it doesn't leave time for anything else.
So you never had time to get married?
Yeah. I was married once. She left me.
Why?
Oh, she wanted a family.
Kids. I couldn't give her that.
Why not?
I mean, you don't seem emotionally defective.
- I'm not. I'm normal. - Uh-huh.
Well, I'm semi-normal.
You see, I'd be working straight out for three days and forget to call her.
She could never take that.
So what about you? Was your marriage good?
Is lack of laughter grounds for divorce?
- But if you had it to do over again? - And I do.
This time I want something better.
How about you?
Have you had any serious relationships since your...
Oh, I had one that lasted for three hours.
- Mm-hm. - No, seriously,
the only thing that I am interested in
and that I care about is... is my work.
So what do you think so far? Any signs yet?
By the way, has it occurred to you that I'm something more than a guinea pig?
Oh, yeah.
You're a normal human being with feelings. Breathe.
I am a human being.
So am I.
Oh! Hi!
Ah. I'm alive! I can't believe I got custody of Flippy without major litigation.
Are you kidding? The last thing Kim wanted in there was something warm.
Yeah. I guess we're lucky that Kim didn't have her stuffed and sprayed silver.
Happy Garden Day Care. Miss Tammy speaking.
Hi. I was wondering if you have any job openings. I'm an accredited teacher.
I'm sorry. We have all the help we need.
But didn't one of your employees die about a year ago?
Wasn't that sad? She was marvelous.
Absolutely indispensable. We replaced her a few weeks later.
- Thanks so much for... - Wha...
My life just hasn't been the same since my death.
I was in the neighborhood buying some groceries and taking Flippy for...
Hi. I was just in the neighborhood getting some groceries
and taking Flippy for a walk.
Hi. I was in the neighborhood getting a few groceries and taking her for a walk,
so I thought I'd give you an update on my job hunting.
- Are you crazy? - Hm?
Walking by yourself at this hour in this neighborhood?
I had Flippy.
Ah. Flippy.
Do you mind if I put a couple of things in your refrigerator?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. Just down there.
- If you don't mind. - Thanks.
Oh! That's cute.
How old is this butter?
- Now, what about your job? - I went over to the Board of Education.
According to their records, I'm dead.
As far as my old volunteer job goes, I might as well be. But I have a great idea.
How about a day-care center at Knickerbocker Hospital?
Why not?
Because you'll never get the money, that's why not.
Sure, everybody's crazy about kids and day-care,
as long as it's somewhere else and doesn't cost any money.
- Well, if I talk to them? Explain? - Lucy, I've sat on the hospital committee.
Everybody says "Let's have a day-care center. Terrific idea."
And we move on real fast to computerizing the anesthesiology records for 1900...
What's this?
Um...
It's for Flippy.
Give it to Flippy.
Are you trying to get me to fall in love with the dog?
And then with you?
That's...
so ridiculous.
We are so completely
wrong for each other.
I know what you need.
"Divorced, workaholic doctor seeks sexy, emotionally stunted non-smoker"
for profoundly superficial relationship."
Not "profoundly."
But I'm not buying rugs and making commitments.
Right.
Well, I wish it could be some other way.
OK.
I wish you well.
The Knickerbocker Hospital spends $35 million on a wing
So you can get your wrinkles ironed out in style,
but not $20 for a throw rug and a set of blocks.
Damn it. Zel. That's not the way the world should work.
Wow! If you like grandeur, this place isn't bad.
- Yeah. - Kim lived here?
Yeah, when she was married to Hastings Lacey. Sr.
It was love at first sight.
She knew she had to marry him the minute she saw the house.
This may be the worst idea I ever had.
- Hello. I'm Lu... - You're dead!
I'm sorry. I'm so...
How nice of you to drop by. They said you were dead.
Well, I'm sorry we bothered you. It was wrong to come.
No, no, no. No. Come in.
- Please. You were nice. - Thank you.
I'd like to introduce my sister.
Zelda, Hastings Lacey, Jr.
Would you like to join me for a bit of lunch?
I had a qualm or two about coming,
but you're the only millionaire I ever saw who was friendly.
I'm... I'm a billionaire.
Right. Am I embarrassing you by talking about your money?
Oh, no. People are always pretending to like me for my personality.
Well, I like you for your personality.
Your personality... and more.
I came here because I need a job.
And the best job I can think of is working in a day-care center.
And what better place for one than in a hospital, like Knickerbocker.
She's right.
Except her ex-husband is there,
but he's so busy sculpting ears or calling his tailor that she'll never see him.
- Zel. - And there is this emergency-room guy.
He has these terrific emanations that just make her aura glow.
And her chakras? Just like that.
- Zelda! - And astrologically... OK, OK.
This has nothing to do with men. This has to do with children.
The hospital really needs a day-care center.
- They don't have one? - No, there's no money for one, so...
I thought I'd come to you and ask if you could...
Of course. Anything for...
Oh, listen. Could you look at that circuit breaker, please? It keeps popping off.
Yeah, sure.
I thought you were the electrician.
Well, congratulations. You got the money.
Thanks.
Listen, a friend of yours left something at my place,
and I think that you should have it back.
Thanks.
Come on. Lucy.
Hello? Hello, is anybody here? Hello?
Hello. Oh, Dr. Scanlon? I'm Regina Holt. Bruce Holt's wife.
Oh.
The entire hospital is in an uproar over some sort of investigation
about the death of Lucy...
Oh, my God. Forgive me.
I'm going to call Liz Smith and give her the scoop of a lifetime.
Gentlemen, gentlemen and ladies, please.
I assure you, we are as astounded as anyone else.
Now, you've heard the exhaustive reports of our doctors,
and you are free to examine the results of our tests.
And so, after another question or two...
Lucy. What's it feel like to be unique?
You've got to understand, this was a complete surprise to me.
I skipped breakfast,
got a little overenthusiastic about a South Korean chicken ball,
and ended up on top of my tombstone, instead of underneath it.
People are going to be very disappointed that you don't remember anything.
Um... Well, I think maybe I'm a little disappointed too,
'cause I'd love to remember, you know, a corridor
with my grandmother Rosie holding out her hands
and saying "Well, great. Now I can teach you how to crochet."
Do you have anything to say to the billions of people around the world?
- Hello again. - Zelda,
you spoke about the requirements for bringing somebody back.
It seems so complicated.
Well, transcending death can be a little tricky.
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much. Thank you all for coming.
Hi, I'm Dr. Chadman. Naturally, I've been following Lucy's case.
Lucy. Over here.
Lucy. What can I do to help?
Sorry, I have to go to the little girls' room. You know how that can be.
Oh!
You know, Dr. Scanlon, you're not so great in the commitment department,
but you're a genius at emergencies.
And, hey. Don't worry. By next week there'll be a whole new scandal in the world
and they'll say "Lucy who?"
Was there a white light?
No, but we went through a couple of red ones.
Thanks for the lift!
Listen, the first thing is, did you meet any guys?
Come on in.
Where's my sister?
Which one are you? The one who got brung back? Or the one who brought?
- The one who got brung. - Listen,
I got someone I gotta bring back fast.
Someone you loved very much?
- An associate. An unfortunate accident. - Oh, I'm sorry.
He ran into a bullet.
Look. I ain't like those crazies outside who want to bring back Aunt Ida
or their beloved cat, Fluff. I can pay... big.
You have to love him... purely.
- Love him? - Mm-hm.
Nobody could love Seymour the Scuz.
But if you want him back, you'd have to learn to... love him.
Utter love.
- Utter? - Yeah. May I recommend.
The Elixir of Enlightenment. On the house.
- Utter love? - You got it.
I have to talk to you about true love.
You have no idea... how important it is.
Yes, I do. True love is wonderful.
And I'm glad you found it. You deserve it. You forgot your crystal ball.
I feel like a jerk leaving you, but I can't open the store.
I can't even open the door.
You're doing the right thing, going to Junior's.
Hey, why don't you come with me?
His house is a fortress. And nobody can get past those gates.
I don't want to live in a fortress.
I want to... go to the movies.
Go to B. Altman's white sale. I want to...
Find your own true love.
I want to walk down the street... with someone.
- Dr. Scanlon. - Someone, someday. Ooh, you're pushy.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
- Everybody was... - Ah. I work here. Excuse me.
- Hey, baby. How about a lunch? - Eat your heart out.
That's Lucy! She's wearing a wig!
Well, that look has real possibilities.
I have a date for lunch. You think it's too much?
- Can I have your coat? - What?
Can I have your coat?
I'm sorry to bother you, it's just that this was the safest
closest place to the door that I could think of.
I'm going get up to that day-care center if it takes me all day.
You want me to lead the way?
No, thank you. I can take care of myself.
That's Lucy! She's wearing a wig!
But even in that short time the Lucy-Zelda industry has gone directly into high gear.
With Lucy in the public domain and no license agreement to worry about.
It's a happy day for commerce.
But the hope... No. The heartfelt...
Lucy Chadman obviously died and was brought back by her sister. Zelda.
- Bienvenue. Lucy. - Bienvenida. Lucy.
Shalom. Lucy.
If you'll be good enough to observe the slow-motion replay on our monitor.
- You will note this apparent accident... - Typical Lucy.
What a klutz.
And in essence. It resonates on a truly cosmic scale.
So you see. Professor. This is no more an accident than you are.
I thought I'd be famous for fifteen, OK, twenty minutes, then that'd be it.
Well, I'm just gonna have to figure out a way to end all this craziness.
Lucy. I've been trying to track you down. Hi, guys.
This place is really cooking. Huh?
Is something wrong?
I'm a little tired, I guess.
Well, life in the fast lane can wear a guy out.
OK. What's up?
I've been thinking about you a lot.
- Do you know why? - Sure. I'm on CBS. NBC, ABC...
- Lucy. - ..PBS, CNN.
Lucy. You're too loving for that.
The truth is...
I have begun to question Kim's values.
Yeah.
Come up with any answers?
- I want you. - You had me.
Oh, Lucy. Come on. We can give it another shot.
I don't want someone who puts off foreplay
until he can find a padded hanger for his cashmere blazer.
Now, if all the reporters disappeared and I was left holding my needlepoint,
would you really want me?
Uh...
I think... I would.
Well, at least I remember why I used to love you.
Could I have a piece of your puzzle? I missed breakfast.
You know what I want to be? A UFO.
I'm not kidding. I am, I am. That's what I'm gonna be. A UFO.
Or maybe a BMW, huh?
You're almost done with this. Aren't you?
Hello.
So where are the rest of your 85,000 kids today?
Well, all the parents, except for Debbie's, pulled them out.
They were afraid the children would be frightened of the crowds and the reporters.
And I can't say I blame them.
Excuse us, Debbie.
What's happening, Dr. Scanlon? Everything OK downstairs?
- Yeah, it's getting a bit rough... - Dr. Scanlon,
they told me you might be here.
I must inform you that your presence in the emergency room
is such a magnet to the press that it has caused complete upheaval.
That is what I've been trying to tell you guys.
We request that you take indefinite leave from the hospital.
- But you... - Your leave starts today.
This is... This is absolute nonsense.
It is. The whole thing is nonsense. I've got to do something.
Like what? Come on. One quote.
- Any comment from you, Doctor? - Get the hell out of here!
Lucy. What is your response to Kim Lacey-Chadman
calling a press conference this afternoon?
Have you heard what she's planning to say?
Are you going to accept her invitation to be there to prove you're not a fraud?
Where was Lucy Chadman for the year of her death?
Dead?
Please.
She spent that year at her sister's.
- Why should we believe you? - Why should we accept your statement?
Because I make sense.
I make sense.
And why did Lucy do what she did?
Because she realized she was obsolete.
She confided to me, before her so-called death, that her husband,
my husband now, my Jason,
wanted more of a life, more of a career and frankly more of a wife.
Boy, did he strike out.
And how did she fake her so-called death?
- Tell us how! - She was a doctor's wife.
She had access to medicines that can lower her respiratory rate
and slow down her heartbeat so that even a trained physician could be fooled.
- There is no medicine like that. - What kind of medicine is it?
There is. Tetrodotoxin.
The so-called voodoo medicine.
It lowers a person's metabolic rate so significantly that they appear dead.
And is it really such a leap of the imagination to picture Lucy
bribing a funeral director to bury an empty coffin?
We've all been had.
Well, Lucy, do you have a defense?
We won't accept "Trust me, I'm sweet and I bake apple crumb cake."
What have you got to say, Lucy?
Give me a minute, please.
Just give me a minute, please.
I have nothing to say.
I'm yesterday's news. Kim is your girl.
Hey. I'm free.
- Are you crazy? - What? What's wrong?
Kevin, I did this for you.
And for Zelda and Danny and all of us.
- To give us some peace. - Peace?
- Do you not realize what you've done? - Yes. We've got the press off our backs.
You've gotten the hospital administration to think I'm a complete idiot.
Oh.
I thought it would help.
Mrs. Chadman.
Your services are no longer required.
Excuse me.
This guy a friend of yours? He looks kind of lonely.
Are you telling your lies to children now? Come on, Jane.
I've been cordially "disinvited" to the opening of the new plastic surgery wing.
I was sure when people lost interest that I'd have a normal life again, but...
I know everyone's stopped coming to your beautiful restaurant.
And, Zelda, people think you're crazier than ever before.
Kevin's gonna lose his job. He won't even talk to me.
Oh, boy. This is some crummy life.
So what are you gonna do about it?
Fight back.
You know, we could do something.
Something big.
Yeah.
Yoo-hoo!
Look who's here!
Oh, my God.
What a marvelous party. I wouldn't have missed this for the world.
Ooh, may I have one of those?
Bless her heart. The press is here. The spotlight is like a narcotic.
Hi, Jase, Kim. Phineas, etcetera.
Lovely to see all of you.
She must be drunk.
High on life, honey. High on life. High...
What are you doing here?
Department heads have to come to this thing. I'm a department head
until they find somebody else to replace me.
I don't think that's gonna happen.
Danny, I want her out of here. She's gonna ruin my party.
Excuse me. I... I have to go cause some trouble.
Disbelievers!
I will prove my power!
Hastings!
Kim. When Hastings died, was it... before his time?
Hastings!
Here goes nothing.
Kimmy-pie!
Lucy. Stop this.
Your hasty pudding's come back, darling.
Ah! Is that...?
- Hastings. Sr? - Uh-huh.
- Did I summon you? - Uh-huh!
And you're here talking through Lucy?
Uh-huh!
- Kimmy. - What is this?
She's his channel. He's taken her over.
I can't believe that I've been away from you for near under three years
and this is the hello I get?
Kimmy, Kimmy, Kimmy!
Stop this, for God's sake, Lucy.
How many times did I put my arms around you and say "Trust me?"
"Trust me, rose petal."
How do you know that name?
Miss me, little Kimmy?
Remember our last night together?
You weren't wearing nothing,
'cept your cowgirl boots. The red ones with the spurs.
Stop it! Stop it!
Just stop right now. This is just a fake.
- Come on. - No!
Only Hastings could have known about those boots.
- Hastings? - Kimmy!
Kimmy, Kimmy, Kimmy!
Beat it, white bread.
- It is you. - Yes, darlin'.
I swear I didn't know that you'd get that carried away.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
You were worth it, darlin'.
I gave you such pleasure, and you didn't leave me anything.
I come back to make it up to you.
- You did? - Junior!
Whoa, you been porking up. Son.
Looks good on you. OK, listen up.
Everything in my secret safe,
in the wine cellar behind the Chateau de Yukum.
- Your favorite wine. - That's the one, darling.
Everything's for my Kimmy.
Emeralds, rubies, sapphires and some nice negotiable securities.
Securities?
Everything's for my Kimmy, you got that, Junior?
But, but. But, I don't know the combination, Dad.
Useless. Always was.
Kimmy, time's growing short.
The combination is...
What?
The combination is...
Is...
- What's happened to her? - What's doing that to him? Her?
- You! - Me?
You've turned the world against her.
Kim. A channel has to be free. Unblocked.
- Unblocked. How? - Clear the channel, Kim.
That's right. Kim. Unclog the channel.
- No more lies. - Lies?
- Lies?! - OK, so maybe I lied.
What lie? My channel's in distress.
I'm starting to fade. Oh, Kimmy, help me.
Help me help you. Darlin'. Nice negotiable securities.
- Lucy did die. - Come again?
It's hard to hear from out here.
Lucy did die and come back.
Lucy being famous was so irritating. She could've run off with Jason.
Forgive me for lying. What's the combination?
I give up. What's the combination?
Hey, let's get those lights on!
How did you know his... pet name for me?
On that picture on your desk in your office.
- It says "To my rose petal... - "With love forever."
What about those damn boots?
- Junior? - Well, two months after he married you
my father said "Junior, I can't resist a girl who has the impudence"
to visit me every single night wearing red cowgirl boots and spurs and...
and nothing else.
I'm sorry. I hope you'll forgive us.
Let's go home.
Lucy. Lucy.
In all those years I've never understood how terrific you can be.
Thanks, Jase.
Lucy!
Lucy.
That was... that was amazing trouble you caused.
You were terrific.
Thanks. I'm glad you'll get your job back.
Lucy. Lucy.
You got a second chance, you've got to give me one.
Oh, Kevin.
Let's go get that dumb dog of yours.
For a walk or for life?
Are you really ready for me to bring the rubber bone?
Oh, yeah. The rubber bone, the dog biscuits, everything.
What a dowry.
- I love you, Lucy. - I love you too.
True love. Finally.
Flippy will be so excited.
She hasn't stop talking about you since our first visit to the loft. Yap, yap, yap.
- Kevin, one more thing. - What?
Can I take my shoes off?
OK.
Oh, I beg your pardon.
Careful, watch it! Watch the cake!
Uh-oh.