1 00:00:01,908 --> 00:00:08,540 The black hole, where gravity's pull is so intense that even light can't escape. 2 00:00:10,333 --> 00:00:13,502 Sometimes I feel that way when I'm at a boring dinner party. 3 00:00:14,921 --> 00:00:17,006 Listen, next week we have the big quiz. 4 00:00:17,090 --> 00:00:20,802 But if you want tenure, you need to learn to play the game. 5 00:00:20,885 --> 00:00:22,887 Cozy up to Dean Fairchild. 6 00:00:22,971 --> 00:00:25,724 Kiss his ass. 7 00:00:27,809 --> 00:00:29,060 Remember, I'm not only the dean, 8 00:00:29,143 --> 00:00:32,897 I am also the editor of The Astrophysics Quarterly Review. 9 00:00:34,566 --> 00:00:36,860 - I'm leaving you, Henry. - No, Christine, 10 00:00:36,943 --> 00:00:39,237 I will get published. You'll see. 11 00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:41,364 Who am I kidding, they're just gonna choose Associate Professor 12 00:00:41,447 --> 00:00:44,325 Brodfard Gilroy's work, like they always do. 13 00:00:45,619 --> 00:00:47,871 - Drink, Henry? - No, thank you, Dean Fairchild. 14 00:00:47,954 --> 00:00:49,831 I try not to drink bourbon before lunch. 15 00:00:49,914 --> 00:00:52,375 Ouch. Do I detect sarcasm? 16 00:00:52,459 --> 00:00:55,004 "A hit, a very palpable hit!" 17 00:00:55,086 --> 00:00:57,005 Hamlet, act five, scene two? 18 00:00:57,088 --> 00:01:00,133 "The Devil hath power to assume pleasing shape." 19 00:01:00,216 --> 00:01:03,011 "Though it be madness, yet there is method in't." 20 00:01:03,094 --> 00:01:05,597 "I am but mad north-north-west. 21 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:09,559 When the wind is southerly, I know a hawk from a handsaw!" 22 00:01:09,643 --> 00:01:11,728 Jeez, Henry. Keep your shirt on. 23 00:01:11,811 --> 00:01:13,355 We're trying to have a little fun. 24 00:01:13,437 --> 00:01:14,730 My paper is better than anything 25 00:01:14,814 --> 00:01:17,901 that could be conceived by your feeble brain, Brodfard! 26 00:01:17,984 --> 00:01:19,193 Oh, what's wrong, Henry? 27 00:01:19,277 --> 00:01:22,113 Are you gonna whine or are you gonna win? 28 00:01:31,039 --> 00:01:33,166 Oh! Ow! Ow! 29 00:01:38,922 --> 00:01:41,215 Are those our professors? 30 00:01:41,299 --> 00:01:45,469 I hope your writing is better than your left hook, Neumann. 31 00:01:53,603 --> 00:01:55,522 I just want people to see my ideas. 32 00:01:55,605 --> 00:01:58,442 Well, perhaps you can start a newsletter or something. 33 00:01:58,525 --> 00:01:59,693 You utter moron. 34 00:02:08,242 --> 00:02:09,828 That son of a bitch! 35 00:02:13,164 --> 00:02:15,291 I know I'm not very good at playing the game. 36 00:02:15,374 --> 00:02:17,919 Maybe that's because science isn't a game to me. 37 00:02:18,002 --> 00:02:22,465 I don't care who jerked off next to who in the faculty lounge last week. 38 00:02:22,549 --> 00:02:24,718 I'm a damn good astrophysicist 39 00:02:24,801 --> 00:02:26,761 and I will not let anyone take that away from me. 40 00:02:26,845 --> 00:02:30,139 Not Brodfard Gilroy, and especially not you. 41 00:02:30,223 --> 00:02:32,558 You back-slapping, booze-swilling, 42 00:02:32,642 --> 00:02:36,855 glad-handing fuck dick of a shit butt! 43 00:02:37,731 --> 00:02:39,941 Get out! 44 00:02:40,024 --> 00:02:41,025 Oh, my God. 45 00:02:43,027 --> 00:02:45,739 Don't beat yourself up. It happens to everyone. 46 00:02:45,822 --> 00:02:49,701 Just take this as an opportunity to relax and reflect. 47 00:02:49,784 --> 00:02:51,453 I know a great real estate agent. 48 00:02:51,535 --> 00:02:54,163 She specializes in summer rentals up near Waterville. 49 00:02:54,873 --> 00:02:56,375 Call her, Henry. 50 00:02:58,501 --> 00:03:00,253 This is the only unit still available 51 00:03:00,336 --> 00:03:01,754 that's within your price range. 52 00:03:01,838 --> 00:03:05,008 Definitely has a rustic feeling to it, 53 00:03:05,091 --> 00:03:09,053 but it's perfect for someone looking for a little solitude. 54 00:03:09,137 --> 00:03:11,806 We just had a married couple in here just now. 55 00:03:11,890 --> 00:03:14,100 I guess it didn't work out. It's too bad, too. 56 00:03:14,183 --> 00:03:16,978 I really liked them. It's so sad. 57 00:03:17,061 --> 00:03:21,357 Did you know that more than 50% of married couples get divorced these days? 58 00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:24,277 Boy, oh, boy. Times sure have changed. 59 00:03:25,278 --> 00:03:28,156 Anyway, listen to me jabbering on. 60 00:03:28,239 --> 00:03:30,116 Believe me, I know you have better things to do with your time 61 00:03:30,199 --> 00:03:32,285 than listen to me go on about gosh only knows what. 62 00:03:32,368 --> 00:03:33,786 Quite a storm on the way. 63 00:03:33,870 --> 00:03:35,914 They say it's a nor'easter. 64 00:03:35,997 --> 00:03:38,500 Anyway, listen to me gabbing on. 65 00:03:38,582 --> 00:03:41,252 I should mention that there is a summer camp 66 00:03:41,335 --> 00:03:44,881 right through the trees over there. Nice enough people. 67 00:03:44,964 --> 00:03:48,510 Sometimes they make too much noise, but kids will be kids, don't you know? 68 00:03:48,592 --> 00:03:49,843 Anyhoo... 69 00:03:49,928 --> 00:03:52,263 I do have two other people interested in this property, 70 00:03:52,346 --> 00:03:55,641 so if you are serious about renting, I'm going to need a deposit. 71 00:03:55,725 --> 00:03:57,101 It's perfect. I'll take it. 72 00:04:00,398 --> 00:04:02,398 Sync and corrections by btsix www.addic7ed.com 73 00:04:05,359 --> 00:04:06,777 {an8}Hey, Wooders! 74 00:04:06,861 --> 00:04:10,574 {an8}Don't forget, we got our special mid-day entertainment starting in about an hour. 75 00:04:10,657 --> 00:04:14,369 {an8}That's right, original bad boy of hypnotism, Jackie Brazen! 76 00:04:14,452 --> 00:04:16,662 {an8}-Jackie is back by popular demand... 77 00:04:16,746 --> 00:04:19,290 {an8}...and everyone who saw him last year tells me this show is hot. 78 00:04:19,373 --> 00:04:22,001 {an8}-HO-T. 79 00:04:22,085 --> 00:04:25,588 {an8}Which kind of makes me want to break out some BTO a little bit later. 80 00:04:25,672 --> 00:04:27,506 {an8}That's Bachman-Turner Overdrive 81 00:04:27,590 --> 00:04:30,802 {an8}for those of you who prefer the non-abbreviated way of doing things. 82 00:04:30,885 --> 00:04:35,598 We're like Burger King here on CFW. You can have it your way. 83 00:04:35,682 --> 00:04:37,809 Guys. Everybody, focus up. 84 00:04:37,892 --> 00:04:39,436 Eyes up here. 85 00:04:39,518 --> 00:04:42,063 - We have some very sad news. - Yeah. 86 00:04:42,146 --> 00:04:44,398 Tragedy has befallen our humble theater. 87 00:04:44,482 --> 00:04:46,901 Leaps were leapt. Bones were broken. 88 00:04:46,985 --> 00:04:48,111 Dreams were deferred. 89 00:04:48,194 --> 00:04:52,699 Earlier today, Abraham Mendel saved the lives of Danny and Becky 90 00:04:52,782 --> 00:04:54,158 by breaking their fall. 91 00:04:54,242 --> 00:04:55,534 Sorry, man. 92 00:04:55,618 --> 00:04:57,995 Danny, Becky, you were our leads. 93 00:04:58,079 --> 00:04:59,706 - And we will never forget you. - Never. 94 00:04:59,789 --> 00:05:01,791 - But we're fine. - Yeah, we weren't injured. 95 00:05:01,875 --> 00:05:03,084 Yeah, well, you made a mistake, 96 00:05:03,167 --> 00:05:05,003 and mistakes aren't tolerated here, so you're out. 97 00:05:05,086 --> 00:05:08,632 But the show must go on! 98 00:05:08,715 --> 00:05:12,385 And in that spirit, Ben will be stepping in for Abraham 99 00:05:12,468 --> 00:05:15,429 and performing with McKinley in the zoot suit number. 100 00:05:15,513 --> 00:05:18,516 It is time for this actorly vessel to cross the footlights. 101 00:05:18,599 --> 00:05:20,559 - Adieu, my princess! - Aw. 102 00:05:23,021 --> 00:05:25,774 Adieu and exeunt. 103 00:05:29,193 --> 00:05:30,862 It's kind of our thing. 104 00:05:30,945 --> 00:05:34,407 Anyway, we have to replace the leading lady and the leading man. 105 00:05:34,490 --> 00:05:37,285 I need help from a professional director. Claude? 106 00:05:37,786 --> 00:05:38,787 Ah! 107 00:05:39,913 --> 00:05:44,876 Let the auditions begin! 108 00:05:45,626 --> 00:05:48,379 Hi, I'm Lisa. I'm from Freehold, New Jersey. 109 00:05:48,462 --> 00:05:51,340 I'm 16, and I'm gonna sing "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star." 110 00:05:54,844 --> 00:06:01,267 ♪ Twinkle, twinkle, little star ♪ 111 00:06:02,393 --> 00:06:04,562 ♪ How I wonder... ♪ 112 00:06:04,645 --> 00:06:07,440 Thank you. That's all we need to hear. 113 00:06:07,523 --> 00:06:09,650 Are you sure? I'm happy to do another song. 114 00:06:09,733 --> 00:06:13,071 You weren't good, okay? Is that what you want to hear? 115 00:06:13,154 --> 00:06:16,240 You want me to gut you like a fish for everyone to see? 116 00:06:16,324 --> 00:06:18,910 Is that what you want, little girl? Because let me tell you something. 117 00:06:18,993 --> 00:06:20,870 The truth stings, okay? 118 00:06:20,954 --> 00:06:22,997 Like salt on an open wound. 119 00:06:23,081 --> 00:06:25,374 You were an abomination! 120 00:06:25,458 --> 00:06:29,212 Your audition stunk up this room like a dusty wet fart! 121 00:06:29,295 --> 00:06:31,297 You don't have it! 122 00:06:32,756 --> 00:06:34,383 You don't have it, honey. 123 00:06:35,593 --> 00:06:38,262 And I hope to hell you're good at something else, 124 00:06:38,346 --> 00:06:43,476 because you sure as shit are not gonna make it in show business. 125 00:06:43,559 --> 00:06:49,273 So that, to answer your question, is the truth. 126 00:06:53,611 --> 00:06:56,030 What was her question? 127 00:07:06,665 --> 00:07:09,585 I'll take a tin of Skoal and, uh... 128 00:07:10,711 --> 00:07:11,962 two combs. 129 00:07:16,384 --> 00:07:18,094 Candy! Yeah! 130 00:07:18,177 --> 00:07:20,096 Candy! 131 00:07:21,555 --> 00:07:23,850 Are you gonna buy anything? 132 00:07:23,933 --> 00:07:25,351 What, old man? 133 00:07:25,434 --> 00:07:28,104 I can't hear you over the music. 134 00:07:28,187 --> 00:07:32,150 He asked you politely if you were going to buy anything. 135 00:07:32,233 --> 00:07:35,111 "He asked politely if you were gonna buy anything." 136 00:07:35,194 --> 00:07:38,739 - Who the fuck are you, asswipe? - Yeah, asswipe, who the fuck are you? 137 00:07:47,415 --> 00:07:49,333 I'm the Falcon, 138 00:07:49,417 --> 00:07:52,336 President Reagan's hired assassin... 139 00:07:52,420 --> 00:07:53,629 asswipe. 140 00:07:53,712 --> 00:07:55,214 My uterus. 141 00:07:55,298 --> 00:07:57,175 Oh, man. 142 00:07:57,258 --> 00:07:58,968 Keep the change. 143 00:08:03,056 --> 00:08:04,933 You kids stay in school. 144 00:08:23,952 --> 00:08:25,453 Jonas? 145 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:28,122 Oh! 146 00:08:28,206 --> 00:08:30,208 - Hey, there... - Hi. 147 00:08:31,167 --> 00:08:33,669 Gail, my fiancée. 148 00:08:33,752 --> 00:08:36,172 What were you talking to Beth and Greg about? 149 00:08:36,255 --> 00:08:38,757 - What do you mean? - I overheard you. 150 00:08:38,841 --> 00:08:40,093 What'd you hear? 151 00:08:40,176 --> 00:08:43,637 Something about sludge, the government... 152 00:08:43,721 --> 00:08:44,805 codes. 153 00:08:46,015 --> 00:08:47,850 - A can. - Mmm-mmm. 154 00:08:47,934 --> 00:08:49,602 What was all that stuff about? 155 00:08:53,064 --> 00:08:55,942 Oh, yeah, that was, uh... 156 00:08:57,318 --> 00:09:00,738 Jonas, is there anything I need to know about you before we get married? 157 00:09:00,821 --> 00:09:03,074 Like, anything at all? 158 00:09:03,157 --> 00:09:05,576 No... nothing. 159 00:09:11,165 --> 00:09:12,750 Oh, my... I'm so sorry, Jonas! 160 00:09:12,833 --> 00:09:16,337 I thought for some reason that you would, like, catch it and spin it around or... 161 00:09:16,420 --> 00:09:19,257 God, what am I doing? I think I'm just scared. 162 00:09:19,340 --> 00:09:21,050 It's okay to be scared. 163 00:09:21,134 --> 00:09:23,386 Getting married's scary. But you want to know what? 164 00:09:23,469 --> 00:09:25,929 - I'm not scared. - You're not? 165 00:09:26,014 --> 00:09:27,640 I remember the first time I laid eyes on you 166 00:09:27,723 --> 00:09:29,683 at the Portsmouth Marriott doing the hustle. 167 00:09:29,767 --> 00:09:34,397 I knew right then and there, you were gonna be the girl that I married. 168 00:09:36,815 --> 00:09:39,902 It wasn't the hustle. It was the electric slide. 169 00:09:43,531 --> 00:09:45,908 "That was my Mama's scarf. 170 00:09:45,992 --> 00:09:48,369 The scarf she wrapped around her neck. 171 00:09:48,452 --> 00:09:52,373 It was given to her by her aunt Margaret who lived in Boston." 172 00:09:52,456 --> 00:09:53,499 Hey, Katie. 173 00:09:53,582 --> 00:09:56,210 I was thinking about watching you ride a horse later. Is that cool? 174 00:09:56,294 --> 00:09:59,005 Sorry, Andy. I'm auditioning to replace Becky in the musical. 175 00:09:59,088 --> 00:10:00,923 And if I get the part, I'll be rehearsing all day. 176 00:10:01,007 --> 00:10:03,467 That sounds like a drag. I hope you don't get it. 177 00:10:05,261 --> 00:10:07,846 Trees look weird if you squint at 'em. 178 00:10:09,848 --> 00:10:11,767 Being in the play is a lot of fun. 179 00:10:12,268 --> 00:10:14,062 In fact, you could audition for the lead role. 180 00:10:14,145 --> 00:10:15,438 I bet you'd be a great performer. 181 00:10:15,521 --> 00:10:17,648 I'd rather pick dingleberries out of my Aunt Frieda's butt 182 00:10:17,731 --> 00:10:19,650 than do that stupid shit. 183 00:10:19,733 --> 00:10:22,236 Well, it's just something to think about. 184 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:25,114 It's a really good musical. There's all sorts of fun pyrotechnics 185 00:10:25,198 --> 00:10:27,116 and dancing and singing and... 186 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:28,992 the two leads have a big kiss at the end. 187 00:10:31,454 --> 00:10:34,665 Anyway, I'll see ya later. 188 00:10:37,793 --> 00:10:40,629 Think I just caught the acting bug. 189 00:10:42,423 --> 00:10:43,632 Next! 190 00:10:43,716 --> 00:10:46,009 I have to call my service. 191 00:10:47,970 --> 00:10:50,806 Claude, do you think, maybe, we're being a little too hard on them? 192 00:10:50,889 --> 00:10:53,351 I mean, after all, it's just a summer camp. 193 00:10:54,768 --> 00:10:57,146 Let me tell you a little story, Susie. 194 00:10:57,230 --> 00:11:01,942 One night, I was having drinks next to the brilliant Jerome Robbins 195 00:11:02,025 --> 00:11:06,864 while he was having drinks with the late, great Gower Champion. 196 00:11:06,947 --> 00:11:09,450 And do you know who else was in the restaurant that night? 197 00:11:10,243 --> 00:11:11,535 No. 198 00:11:12,286 --> 00:11:14,205 Jack... 199 00:11:14,288 --> 00:11:15,414 Hofsiss. 200 00:11:16,039 --> 00:11:18,459 - Holy shit. - "Holy shit" is right. 201 00:11:20,544 --> 00:11:21,754 I call winner. 202 00:11:21,837 --> 00:11:23,046 In your face, douche! 203 00:11:23,131 --> 00:11:25,048 Hey, is it cool if we play? 204 00:11:25,966 --> 00:11:28,385 It's not like we own the tetherball court or anything. 205 00:11:28,469 --> 00:11:30,138 Kevin, can you show me? 206 00:11:30,221 --> 00:11:32,265 - Appleblatt? - Okay. 207 00:11:32,348 --> 00:11:36,769 The point is to get the ball all the way around the pole, so you hit it like this. 208 00:11:37,353 --> 00:11:40,148 Okay. So, like this? 209 00:11:41,482 --> 00:11:42,691 Ow! 210 00:11:42,775 --> 00:11:45,528 Stop laughing at her. It's not funny. 211 00:11:45,611 --> 00:11:47,780 Happens all the time. See? 212 00:11:50,408 --> 00:11:51,784 He is such a dork. 213 00:11:51,867 --> 00:11:55,788 Kevin, what's your major malfunction? 214 00:11:55,871 --> 00:11:58,081 Come on, Amy, let's go. 215 00:12:05,005 --> 00:12:07,800 My name is Robbie Klein and I'm from Shaker Heights, Ohio. 216 00:12:07,883 --> 00:12:09,510 My name is Jeremy Barofsky. 217 00:12:09,593 --> 00:12:11,679 Sarah Rachel Winkleman, 16. 218 00:12:16,809 --> 00:12:19,812 ♪ I feel it coming like a tidal wave ♪ 219 00:12:19,895 --> 00:12:22,356 ♪ I'm in over my head ♪ 220 00:12:23,274 --> 00:12:26,277 ♪ Drowned deep down in your ocean ♪ 221 00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:28,362 ♪ Washed up and left for dead ♪ 222 00:12:28,446 --> 00:12:29,863 {an8}Next. 223 00:12:29,947 --> 00:12:33,742 ♪ Give me heart attack Heart attack of love ♪ 224 00:12:33,826 --> 00:12:35,953 ♪ Heart attack of love ♪ 225 00:12:36,036 --> 00:12:37,746 Next. 226 00:12:37,830 --> 00:12:40,916 "And my relief must come 227 00:12:40,999 --> 00:12:43,877 from loathing her!" 228 00:12:43,961 --> 00:12:45,588 - Next. - Hey, how's everybody doing? 229 00:12:45,671 --> 00:12:47,089 It looks like a full house tonight. 230 00:12:47,172 --> 00:12:48,507 Next! 231 00:12:49,467 --> 00:12:51,052 - Next. Next. - Next. 232 00:12:51,134 --> 00:12:53,804 ♪ And can you feel it in the air? ♪ 233 00:12:53,887 --> 00:12:55,097 - Next. - Next. 234 00:12:55,180 --> 00:12:57,265 Next. 235 00:13:00,353 --> 00:13:01,562 Next! 236 00:13:01,645 --> 00:13:03,188 ♪ Give me a heart attack ♪ 237 00:13:03,272 --> 00:13:04,690 ♪ Heart attack ♪ 238 00:13:04,773 --> 00:13:06,108 I'm sorry. 239 00:13:06,191 --> 00:13:08,193 Next! 240 00:13:08,277 --> 00:13:10,195 Katie Finnerty, 16. 241 00:13:11,572 --> 00:13:14,700 ♪ Feel it coming like a tidal wave ♪ 242 00:13:14,783 --> 00:13:17,911 ♪ I'm in over my head ♪ 243 00:13:17,995 --> 00:13:21,164 ♪ Short it out, make your own revolution ♪ 244 00:13:21,249 --> 00:13:24,377 ♪ Just dance and let them stare ♪ 245 00:13:24,460 --> 00:13:26,420 ♪ Heart attack love ♪ 246 00:13:26,504 --> 00:13:28,381 ♪ Give me a heart attack ♪ 247 00:13:28,464 --> 00:13:30,508 ♪ Heart attack love ♪ 248 00:13:30,591 --> 00:13:33,218 ♪ Heart attack love ♪ 249 00:13:33,302 --> 00:13:35,053 ♪ Oh, you love me, ya hate me ♪ 250 00:13:35,137 --> 00:13:38,223 ♪ You gimme, gimme heart attack! ♪ 251 00:13:40,100 --> 00:13:42,478 All right, now we're getting somewhere. 252 00:13:49,151 --> 00:13:52,780 Okay, settle down, everybody! 253 00:13:52,863 --> 00:13:55,366 Settle, settle. 254 00:13:55,449 --> 00:13:56,659 Beth! 255 00:13:56,742 --> 00:14:01,372 We are very pleased to welcome Kennebec County's number one hypnotist, 256 00:14:01,455 --> 00:14:02,915 Jackie Brazen! 257 00:14:07,420 --> 00:14:10,005 What are we doing, Beth? We're sitting on a time bomb here. 258 00:14:10,088 --> 00:14:11,382 What are we gonna do? We're running out of time. 259 00:14:11,465 --> 00:14:13,008 All right, all right! Camp Firewood! 260 00:14:13,091 --> 00:14:15,719 We have to keep up normal appearances for as long as possible 261 00:14:15,803 --> 00:14:19,598 until we can figure out a way to stop Xenstar and the United States government. 262 00:14:20,891 --> 00:14:24,227 Are you ready to get unconscious and uncanny? 263 00:14:24,312 --> 00:14:27,230 Let's get uncanny! 264 00:14:27,315 --> 00:14:28,857 I'm gonna need a few victims... 265 00:14:28,941 --> 00:14:31,652 I mean volunteers! 266 00:14:31,735 --> 00:14:34,029 Pick me! Pick me! Pick me! Pick me! Pick me! 267 00:14:34,112 --> 00:14:38,116 Whoa, whoa. Slow down, big fella. I'm gonna need you to slow way down. 268 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:41,537 More like... a turtle. 269 00:14:42,162 --> 00:14:44,707 Oh, my God. 270 00:14:44,790 --> 00:14:47,042 He's acting like a turtle! 271 00:14:48,961 --> 00:14:50,170 Turtle! 272 00:14:50,253 --> 00:14:52,756 - What? - I like the new look. 273 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:55,008 - Really? - No, you look like a doink. 274 00:14:55,926 --> 00:14:58,429 - Okay, can we go? - I just need you to trust me, Greg. 275 00:14:58,512 --> 00:15:01,139 I'm just really worried about that toxic sludge. 276 00:15:04,643 --> 00:15:06,895 Rhonda! Who's next? 277 00:15:06,979 --> 00:15:09,064 And can someone please blow me away? 278 00:15:09,147 --> 00:15:11,734 - Logan. - That's me! 279 00:15:11,817 --> 00:15:13,652 Hello, I'm Logan. 280 00:15:13,736 --> 00:15:15,529 I'm 16 years old. I'm from Tarrytown, New York. 281 00:15:15,613 --> 00:15:18,699 My favorite musical is Annie, my favorite season winter, 282 00:15:18,782 --> 00:15:21,201 and my favorite actor is, of course, the great Ben Vereen. 283 00:15:21,284 --> 00:15:23,203 It's a 16/4 with a loop at the hook. 284 00:15:23,286 --> 00:15:24,955 Freeze the bars and mute the quarter-tones. 285 00:15:25,038 --> 00:15:26,749 If it ever feels like we're dragging, we're not. 286 00:15:26,832 --> 00:15:28,334 It's just that kind of tune. 287 00:15:30,753 --> 00:15:32,212 What did you guys think of lunch today? 288 00:15:32,295 --> 00:15:33,631 I thought the sloppy joes were pretty great, 289 00:15:33,714 --> 00:15:35,633 but the coleslaw was a little eggy. 290 00:15:35,716 --> 00:15:36,967 I think we can do better. 291 00:15:37,050 --> 00:15:39,136 ♪ Everything has a season ♪ 292 00:15:39,219 --> 00:15:42,055 ♪ Everything has a time ♪ 293 00:15:42,139 --> 00:15:46,852 ♪ Show me a reason and I'll soon show you a rhyme ♪ 294 00:15:46,935 --> 00:15:48,854 This kid is a pro. 295 00:15:48,937 --> 00:15:51,774 He started auditioning the moment he walked into the room. 296 00:15:51,857 --> 00:15:52,858 He's the one. 297 00:15:52,941 --> 00:15:55,486 We should tell him before he books something else. 298 00:15:55,569 --> 00:15:58,447 No. Never let them know you like them. 299 00:15:58,531 --> 00:16:03,243 ♪ Children belong where they can ramble ♪ 300 00:16:03,326 --> 00:16:08,457 ♪ Eagles belong where they can fly ♪ 301 00:16:08,541 --> 00:16:14,129 ♪ I got to be where my spirit can run free ♪ 302 00:16:14,212 --> 00:16:16,549 ♪ Gotta find my corner ♪ 303 00:16:16,632 --> 00:16:21,136 ♪ Yeah, of the sky ♪ 304 00:16:27,267 --> 00:16:29,102 Uh, Logan? 305 00:16:29,186 --> 00:16:31,063 Uh, listen, can you hang around for a while? 306 00:16:31,146 --> 00:16:33,065 Absolutely. Did you guys like it or... 307 00:16:33,148 --> 00:16:34,858 I don't know. 308 00:16:36,359 --> 00:16:38,404 Wow. 309 00:16:38,487 --> 00:16:40,363 What an education. 310 00:16:50,123 --> 00:16:52,960 - Uh, how can I help you, ma'am? - Hi. 311 00:16:53,043 --> 00:16:54,753 This is a little bit awkward, but I was wondering 312 00:16:54,837 --> 00:16:58,882 if I could look up any public records on my fiancé, Jonas Jurgensen? 313 00:16:58,966 --> 00:17:01,343 For no reason. Probably nothing. 314 00:17:01,427 --> 00:17:03,345 Just to reassure myself. 315 00:17:03,429 --> 00:17:04,597 It's always good to be thorough. 316 00:17:05,931 --> 00:17:09,685 Jonas Jurgensen, date of birth June 21st, 1952. 317 00:17:09,768 --> 00:17:12,062 Resides at 1048 Walnut Street. 318 00:17:12,145 --> 00:17:13,146 And... 319 00:17:13,230 --> 00:17:15,315 - he's dead. - What? 320 00:17:15,398 --> 00:17:16,442 Oh, that can't be. 321 00:17:17,651 --> 00:17:19,111 I am so sorry. I read that wrong. 322 00:17:19,194 --> 00:17:22,072 - It's actually 1408... - No, after that. 323 00:17:22,155 --> 00:17:23,907 - That he's dead? - That's impossible. 324 00:17:24,992 --> 00:17:26,577 Uh, checking... 325 00:17:26,660 --> 00:17:28,537 Oh... 326 00:17:28,621 --> 00:17:30,372 No, it says it right here. He's definitely dead. 327 00:17:30,456 --> 00:17:32,332 But... 328 00:17:32,415 --> 00:17:36,629 If Jonas is dead, then who am I about to marry? 329 00:17:37,630 --> 00:17:39,423 Do the funky chicken. 330 00:17:40,048 --> 00:17:42,259 You're a constipated wiener dog. 331 00:17:43,844 --> 00:17:45,721 You're a one-celled organism. 332 00:17:46,930 --> 00:17:48,849 Dibs on her. 333 00:17:48,932 --> 00:17:51,519 Dibs on her. Dibs on her. 334 00:17:51,602 --> 00:17:54,187 You can't call dibs on every girl, Drew. That's against the rules. 335 00:17:54,271 --> 00:17:57,483 Yes, you can, 'cause I just did. Eat my dick, Captain Fuck Pants. 336 00:17:57,566 --> 00:17:59,943 We should take turns. Kevin, you go first. 337 00:18:00,027 --> 00:18:01,153 Oh. 338 00:18:01,236 --> 00:18:04,114 - Okay, I call dibs on... - You're a sexy, sexy alpaca! 339 00:18:04,197 --> 00:18:06,534 I call dibs on that Amy chick. 340 00:18:06,617 --> 00:18:08,952 What? No. It was my turn. 341 00:18:09,036 --> 00:18:10,788 Bullshit. We're going counter-clockwise. 342 00:18:10,871 --> 00:18:13,290 It's my turn, and I call dibs on Amy. 343 00:18:13,373 --> 00:18:14,667 Ladies and gentlemen, I ask you, 344 00:18:14,750 --> 00:18:17,878 is he a man or is he a pogo stick? 345 00:18:17,961 --> 00:18:19,588 Pogo stick! 346 00:18:25,010 --> 00:18:26,929 - Oh. Hey. - Hey. 347 00:18:27,012 --> 00:18:28,138 - McKinley, right? - Yeah. 348 00:18:28,221 --> 00:18:31,474 Oh, Ben. I'm the producer. Well, was the producer. 349 00:18:31,559 --> 00:18:34,019 I guess you and I are doing the zoot suit. 350 00:18:34,102 --> 00:18:36,271 Yeah, we're doing the zoot suit. 351 00:18:36,354 --> 00:18:37,898 Who came up with this contraption? 352 00:18:37,981 --> 00:18:40,609 I guess the trademark is that both actors get into the zoot suit 353 00:18:40,693 --> 00:18:42,027 and then they play the zoot suit together. 354 00:18:42,110 --> 00:18:44,237 - I know. I made the costume. - No, you didn't. 355 00:18:44,321 --> 00:18:46,448 Hand to God. I've been into sewing since I was eight years old. 356 00:18:46,532 --> 00:18:48,491 Oh, my God. I had no idea you were that creative. 357 00:18:48,576 --> 00:18:49,868 - Oh, really? - Uh-uh. 358 00:18:49,952 --> 00:18:52,204 Oh, I just thought it was so obvious that I'm creative. 359 00:18:52,871 --> 00:18:54,873 I mean, I just thought, 'cause you're creative 360 00:18:54,957 --> 00:18:56,917 that you would know that I'm creative. 361 00:18:59,294 --> 00:19:01,922 Oh, I see, Ben. 362 00:19:02,005 --> 00:19:04,382 You don't realize that you're creative, too. 363 00:19:04,466 --> 00:19:06,093 It's all right. 364 00:19:06,176 --> 00:19:09,346 Whether or not you're creative, I think you're really talented. 365 00:19:11,139 --> 00:19:13,684 Well, I think you're really talented, too, obviously. 366 00:19:13,767 --> 00:19:16,312 I mean... 367 00:19:16,394 --> 00:19:17,437 Flatterer. 368 00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:19,231 - I have some mask work to do. - Okay. 369 00:19:19,314 --> 00:19:20,357 - I'll catch up with you later? - All right. 370 00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:21,609 We gotta try this on, don't we? 371 00:19:21,692 --> 00:19:23,485 No time like the present. 372 00:19:28,406 --> 00:19:30,283 You're insane, Graham. Ayn Rand? 373 00:19:30,367 --> 00:19:31,910 She's not attractive. 374 00:19:31,994 --> 00:19:35,748 Her talent, Warner. I'm attracted to her talent. 375 00:19:35,831 --> 00:19:38,291 Well, she certainly has a brilliant mind. 376 00:19:38,375 --> 00:19:39,877 But who needs a woman with a mind? 377 00:19:41,962 --> 00:19:43,005 That's so true! 378 00:19:43,088 --> 00:19:44,339 Hi, boys. 379 00:19:45,465 --> 00:19:47,300 - Blake. - Courtney. 380 00:19:47,384 --> 00:19:49,845 Your collar's looking particularly popped this afternoon. 381 00:19:49,928 --> 00:19:53,599 So, um, word around camp is that you and Katie are on the rocks. 382 00:19:53,682 --> 00:19:56,226 Well, you heard wrong. We've never been stronger, Katie and I. 383 00:19:56,309 --> 00:19:59,229 'Cause, see, I thought I heard she wasn't coming to TigerForm tonight 384 00:19:59,312 --> 00:20:03,400 so she could eat hot dog wieners with those peasants from Camp Firewood. 385 00:20:03,483 --> 00:20:06,111 Katie will be at TigerForm tonight. You'll see. 386 00:20:06,194 --> 00:20:07,780 You'll all see! 387 00:20:08,614 --> 00:20:11,574 Jeez, okay. 388 00:20:11,659 --> 00:20:13,661 Don't have to get in such a snit. 389 00:20:13,744 --> 00:20:16,454 He's like my father when he gets into the Planter's Punch. 390 00:20:21,334 --> 00:20:23,545 Well, if anything changes... 391 00:20:32,763 --> 00:20:34,973 you know where to find me. 392 00:20:36,266 --> 00:20:37,851 I'll be on the boat with Whitney. 393 00:20:37,935 --> 00:20:39,311 Rowing crew. 394 00:20:40,228 --> 00:20:41,814 If we can find a coxswain. 395 00:20:49,237 --> 00:20:50,613 She is a minx. 396 00:20:50,698 --> 00:20:52,199 Socialist! 397 00:20:54,451 --> 00:20:59,539 It says here, in 1973, a plane was on its way to Malta. 398 00:20:59,622 --> 00:21:02,084 But that plane crashed. 399 00:21:02,167 --> 00:21:04,252 There were five passengers on the flight, 400 00:21:04,336 --> 00:21:08,465 four of whom were burnt to a crisp, their bodies unidentifiable. 401 00:21:08,548 --> 00:21:11,760 But one passenger's body was never found. 402 00:21:11,844 --> 00:21:14,972 It seems that your fiancé left that crash unharmed, 403 00:21:15,055 --> 00:21:18,058 and then he took the identity of one of the passengers who died. 404 00:21:18,141 --> 00:21:19,476 What are you saying? 405 00:21:19,559 --> 00:21:22,730 Your fiancé's name isn't Jonas Jurgensen. 406 00:21:22,813 --> 00:21:25,398 - Then what is it? - Gene Jenkinson. 407 00:21:25,482 --> 00:21:26,900 Who is Gene Jenkinson? 408 00:21:28,401 --> 00:21:31,154 It says here, he was in the Vietnam War, 409 00:21:31,238 --> 00:21:33,156 and he loves to cook. 410 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:34,742 There's not much else. 411 00:21:34,825 --> 00:21:38,578 Oh, Gail... I hate to see you in pain like this. 412 00:21:40,663 --> 00:21:42,207 Thank you, Jeff. 413 00:21:42,290 --> 00:21:45,377 - Please, call me by my middle name. - Which is? 414 00:21:45,460 --> 00:21:47,087 Also Jeff. 415 00:21:47,170 --> 00:21:48,797 Jeff, it is. 416 00:21:52,009 --> 00:21:53,969 Ladies and gentlemen, 417 00:21:54,052 --> 00:21:57,555 the two new leads for Electro-City are... 418 00:21:58,348 --> 00:22:01,601 Katie Finnerty and Logan St. Bogan! 419 00:22:05,522 --> 00:22:06,814 Oh, my God! 420 00:22:06,899 --> 00:22:10,110 Excuse me. Oh, my God. 421 00:22:11,111 --> 00:22:12,863 Okay. 422 00:22:13,989 --> 00:22:16,241 Um, so many people to thank. My parents, 423 00:22:16,324 --> 00:22:17,951 Roger and Wendy. 424 00:22:19,161 --> 00:22:20,495 My voice coach... 425 00:22:24,582 --> 00:22:26,418 Sir Maxwell Dickinson. 426 00:22:27,752 --> 00:22:31,089 My speech instructor, Dan Larson MacLeod. 427 00:22:34,634 --> 00:22:35,803 My tap guy... 428 00:22:36,970 --> 00:22:39,472 Is it too late to audition? 429 00:22:39,556 --> 00:22:41,558 - Yes, Andy, it's too late. - No... 430 00:22:43,185 --> 00:22:44,436 No, it's not. 431 00:22:45,395 --> 00:22:46,688 Let's see what you got, kid. 432 00:22:47,605 --> 00:22:48,690 Claude? 433 00:22:50,650 --> 00:22:52,110 You cannot recast. 434 00:22:52,194 --> 00:22:54,362 You literally, mere seconds ago, cast me in the role. 435 00:22:54,446 --> 00:22:56,573 - Stuff it, Logan. - Oh, fuck you! 436 00:22:56,656 --> 00:22:57,991 Fuck you! 437 00:23:03,205 --> 00:23:05,916 Take your time, son. Whenever you're ready. 438 00:23:05,999 --> 00:23:08,293 Andy has never done anything on the stage before. 439 00:23:08,376 --> 00:23:10,170 Raw clay can be good, Susie. 440 00:23:10,253 --> 00:23:12,005 Sticks to your hands when it's on the wheel, 441 00:23:12,089 --> 00:23:14,799 but it glazes like a dream. 442 00:23:14,883 --> 00:23:17,427 This is a song I wrote. 443 00:23:17,510 --> 00:23:19,471 It's called "Champagne Eyes." 444 00:23:19,554 --> 00:23:23,516 ♪ These champagne eyes, they're trouble ♪ 445 00:23:24,559 --> 00:23:27,938 ♪ My thoughts are on the ceiling ♪ 446 00:23:29,272 --> 00:23:32,192 ♪ My gun is shot and wet ♪ 447 00:23:33,151 --> 00:23:34,987 ♪ No surprise ♪ 448 00:23:36,654 --> 00:23:37,697 Wow. 449 00:23:37,780 --> 00:23:41,910 ♪ The lights are out, the money's gone ♪ 450 00:23:41,994 --> 00:23:46,623 ♪ One breast is badly listing ♪ 451 00:23:46,706 --> 00:23:53,588 ♪ Still you waltz around with champagne eyes ♪ 452 00:23:55,632 --> 00:24:02,555 ♪ Forever waltz about on champagne eyes ♪ 453 00:24:18,571 --> 00:24:25,495 ♪ And still we walk around... ♪ 454 00:24:29,958 --> 00:24:31,626 Champagne eyes. 455 00:24:35,047 --> 00:24:36,631 It's all I got, um... 456 00:24:37,715 --> 00:24:39,342 I'm sorry I wasted your time. 457 00:24:39,426 --> 00:24:42,512 Well, I won't lie to you, Andy. You have talent. 458 00:24:42,595 --> 00:24:44,306 But you're rough around the edges. 459 00:24:44,389 --> 00:24:47,392 - So, did I get the part? - Oh, you got the part, all right, mister. 460 00:24:47,475 --> 00:24:48,768 But what about me? 461 00:24:48,851 --> 00:24:50,645 I'm the best damn hoofer you got, and you know it. 462 00:24:50,728 --> 00:24:52,189 Don't worry, Logan. 463 00:24:52,272 --> 00:24:55,442 You will play the part of the Warden. 464 00:24:55,525 --> 00:24:59,196 The Warden? But he only has one song. 465 00:24:59,279 --> 00:25:00,989 Well, I suggest you make it a doozy. 466 00:25:01,073 --> 00:25:03,908 Remember, no small parts. 467 00:25:04,826 --> 00:25:06,411 Awesome. 468 00:25:06,494 --> 00:25:07,955 Ladies and gentlemen... 469 00:25:08,705 --> 00:25:11,249 the show is cast. 470 00:25:16,421 --> 00:25:17,464 Hey. 471 00:25:18,673 --> 00:25:20,675 So I guess we're gonna get to do some hard neckin'. 472 00:25:20,758 --> 00:25:23,345 Not everything's about making out, Andy. 473 00:25:23,428 --> 00:25:26,764 I hope you learn to take something seriously for once. 474 00:25:33,688 --> 00:25:35,315 I hope you all had fun this afternoon, 475 00:25:35,398 --> 00:25:39,027 and I also hope you learned a thing or two about the mind. 476 00:25:39,111 --> 00:25:42,615 To paraphrase the late Albert Einstein, 477 00:25:42,697 --> 00:25:46,784 "We cannot solve our problems with thinking. 478 00:25:46,868 --> 00:25:50,997 We can only solve our problems by doing." 479 00:26:06,179 --> 00:26:08,390 Mr. Brazen? 480 00:26:08,473 --> 00:26:10,058 I'm sorry, we didn't mean to scare you. 481 00:26:10,142 --> 00:26:12,060 We just want to tell you how amazing that was. 482 00:26:12,144 --> 00:26:13,270 Well, thank you very much. 483 00:26:13,353 --> 00:26:16,982 The way you got Malcolm to eat all those pieces of bread like that was hilarious. 484 00:26:17,065 --> 00:26:18,191 Right on. Very fun. 485 00:26:18,275 --> 00:26:20,027 And that was like four entire loaves of bread. 486 00:26:20,110 --> 00:26:22,154 He's gonna have the most raging stomachache. 487 00:26:22,237 --> 00:26:23,613 - So funny. - Right on. 488 00:26:23,696 --> 00:26:24,864 Very fun. 489 00:26:24,947 --> 00:26:27,158 Well, good luck with your show at Camp Snow Ledge. 490 00:26:27,242 --> 00:26:30,037 Thank you. I will go do my show at Camp Snow Ledge now. 491 00:26:31,246 --> 00:26:33,290 If you'll excuse me... 492 00:26:33,873 --> 00:26:36,000 - Ow, ow... - Let's get out of here. 493 00:26:36,084 --> 00:26:37,210 Ow, ow, ow... 494 00:26:37,294 --> 00:26:38,461 What are you doing? 495 00:26:38,545 --> 00:26:40,630 There is no Camp Snow Ledge. I made that up. 496 00:26:40,713 --> 00:26:41,714 - You mean... - Yes. 497 00:26:41,798 --> 00:26:42,924 You lied to Jackie Brazen? 498 00:26:43,007 --> 00:26:45,843 No, I mean, I think the government is on to us... 499 00:26:50,932 --> 00:26:52,016 Run! 500 00:26:52,475 --> 00:26:54,727 - Come on. - I'm moving as fast as I can. 501 00:26:54,811 --> 00:26:56,270 - Hurry up. - You hurry up. 502 00:26:56,354 --> 00:26:57,605 - Faster. - I'm running. You run. 503 00:26:57,689 --> 00:26:59,065 - I'm running. - You call that running? 504 00:26:59,149 --> 00:27:01,109 That's not running. I'm running. 505 00:27:04,279 --> 00:27:06,031 Don't stop. Stay with me. 506 00:27:11,163 --> 00:27:13,163 www.addic7ed.com