1
00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:46,797
I'm so happy you picked
this dress, veruca!

2
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,841
You look beautiful. Doesn't she?

3
00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:51,301
You guys, I'm getting married!

4
00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:53,095
I'm getting married!

5
00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:56,765
Not without your
veil, you're not.

6
00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:58,225
Where is that bad boy?

7
00:00:58,308 --> 00:00:59,560
Oh, I think I left it upstairs.

8
00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:03,438
Don't worry. I'll get it,

9
00:01:03,939 --> 00:01:05,190
sis.

10
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,864
She is so annoying.

11
00:01:11,989 --> 00:01:13,532
And so ugly.

12
00:01:13,699 --> 00:01:15,450
She looks like Karl Malden.

13
00:01:15,659 --> 00:01:16,785
I know, and she's gonna be

14
00:01:16,869 --> 00:01:18,871
my sister-in-law in an hour!

15
00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:20,664
Colby: How are you
gonna deal with that?

16
00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:22,624
Veruca: I'm just gonna lay
down the law for Danny.

17
00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:26,295
We're seeing his goofy family
as little as possible.

18
00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:27,921
Dana: You sure he's gonna
go along with that?

19
00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:30,132
Veruca: (Scoffs) Danny
doesn't say no to me.

20
00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:33,385
Believe me, I have
him well-trained.

21
00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:34,636
(Women laughing)

22
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:37,681
So, tell us, what happened
with Eric last night?

23
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:38,807
(Shushing)

24
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:43,020
So, I told him if he wanted
to stop the wedding,

25
00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:45,647
he had to speak now or
forever hold his peace.

26
00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:47,191
And what'd he say?

27
00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:48,734
He said he's never
gonna settle down,

28
00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:50,485
and I should just go
ahead and marry Danny.

29
00:01:50,569 --> 00:01:51,653
(All exclaim)

30
00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:53,572
Did he give you a
wedding present, huh?

31
00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:54,990
You're so horny! Yeah.

32
00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:57,743
I guess you could call it that.

33
00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:00,162
Dana: You're so bad!

34
00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:04,333
(Shushing) It's the
last time, I swear.

35
00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:05,667
Yeah, right!

36
00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:08,170
Danny is so sweet
and considerate.

37
00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:10,255
And he's gonna be
a cardiologist.

38
00:02:10,422 --> 00:02:12,174
So, I'm marrying him

39
00:02:12,216 --> 00:02:14,176
and that zucchini in the
middle of his face.

40
00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:15,802
Jana: His parents are
disgusting, too!

41
00:02:16,011 --> 00:02:17,804
Colby: Close your eyes
when he's on top!

42
00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:19,723
Dana: And your thighs!

43
00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:23,560
Cuz, I'm so sorry.

44
00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:25,354
Danny: Yikes, that hurt.

45
00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:28,315
That was me, Danny
maccabee, 20 years ago.

46
00:02:28,357 --> 00:02:29,441
Pathetic, huh?

47
00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:30,817
(People chattering)

48
00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:34,780
So, I'm halfway done
boozing away my sorrows,

49
00:02:34,905 --> 00:02:37,533
when something pretty
interesting happened.

50
00:02:37,783 --> 00:02:40,786
Oh, baby, you're
like a pop tart,

51
00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:42,871
hot and sweet!

52
00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:44,915
(Whooping)

53
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,041
Hey, mami!

54
00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:47,918
You must play the
trumpet or something,

55
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:51,129
'cause you're making me
feel all horny and stuff!

56
00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:55,801
You dropped your purse.

57
00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:57,344
Can I just sit for 10 seconds

58
00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:59,680
and not get hit on? Thank you.

59
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:04,434
I was just letting you know
you dropped your purse.

60
00:03:06,478 --> 00:03:07,521
(Groans)

61
00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:09,731
I'm sorry. I thought...
That's fine, that's fine.

62
00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:12,359
I'm sure you didn't meet the
lady who gave you that ring

63
00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:14,236
in a meat market like this.

64
00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:15,946
School cafeteria.

65
00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:18,073
How long you been married?

66
00:03:18,991 --> 00:03:20,993
Danny: I was gonna tell
her, I really was.

67
00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:24,037
But I didn't want her to
know what a loser I was,

68
00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:26,665
so I stretched the
truth a little.

69
00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:27,833
Six years.

70
00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:29,668
Where's your wife tonight?

71
00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:33,755
I stopped asking that
question a long time ago.

72
00:03:34,423 --> 00:03:35,549
That's terrible.

73
00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:37,301
My wife says I work too much.

74
00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:41,805
Trying to provide for her,
her shopping addiction,

75
00:03:41,972 --> 00:03:43,307
and crack.

76
00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:45,142
Why don't you just leave her?

77
00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:47,102
The children.

78
00:03:48,020 --> 00:03:49,938
All 14 of them.

79
00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:53,483
I just, I like to adopt,

80
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,944
and I don't wanna
stop doing that.

81
00:03:56,612 --> 00:03:58,155
You poor guy.

82
00:03:58,530 --> 00:04:00,282
You wanna get outta here?

83
00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:02,242
Danny: And so I discovered

84
00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:04,161
the power of the wedding ring.

85
00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:05,954
The symbol of my humiliation

86
00:04:06,038 --> 00:04:08,457
had become a tool to
get back on the horse.

87
00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:11,293
Are you kidding me?
Snuffleupagus!

88
00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:15,881
I switched my specialty from
cardiology to plastic surgery,

89
00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:17,799
got rid of the big honker,

90
00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:20,385
and the ring became my thing.

91
00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:24,806
I just assumed after we got married
she'd stop hooking, but...

92
00:04:25,641 --> 00:04:28,602
You need to put this wedding
band on a true heart.

93
00:04:29,311 --> 00:04:31,230
This is a good moment.

94
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:34,024
Yeah. Should we go make it last,

95
00:04:34,066 --> 00:04:35,234
for a while, somewhere?

96
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,320
Okay, let's go. To your dorm.

97
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:42,199
Danny: Sometimes I think about

98
00:04:42,241 --> 00:04:43,825
throwing the ring
into the ocean.

99
00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:46,370
I know how wrong it
is. But I can't.

100
00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:49,581
(Mimicking gollum)
It's my precious.

101
00:04:50,374 --> 00:04:52,251
Besides, being fake married

102
00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:53,961
is the perfect way to make sure

103
00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:57,005
I never get my heart
broken again.

104
00:05:08,684 --> 00:05:09,852
What are these?

105
00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:12,104
(Exhales)

106
00:05:12,187 --> 00:05:13,272
Boobie bags.

107
00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:16,567
The women, they stick them
in their flat chesties,

108
00:05:16,692 --> 00:05:18,652
make them big.

109
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:22,698
These are not the boobie
bags that I ordered.

110
00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:24,074
What is that?

111
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,784
It's like a syrup
dispenser at an ihop.

112
00:05:25,868 --> 00:05:26,952
I don't know what that is.

113
00:05:27,119 --> 00:05:29,746
Come on. These, they
don't feel like these.

114
00:05:31,415 --> 00:05:32,541
No... seriously?

115
00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:34,877
I just trying to learn.

116
00:05:35,294 --> 00:05:38,839
Listen, Dr. maccabee would
never accept subpar boobs.

117
00:05:38,964 --> 00:05:40,716
Would you please just
get me what I ordered

118
00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:43,343
and tell Omar that I would like a
discount for the inconvenience?

119
00:05:43,427 --> 00:05:45,387
Yes, ma'am. Thank you, Simon.

120
00:05:45,721 --> 00:05:46,930
My 4:00 here? Katherine: Yeah.

121
00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:49,516
Room one, Kirsten
brant. don't laugh.

122
00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:51,435
(Sighing)

123
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:56,315
Well, I, uh... I had
bad plastic surgery.

124
00:05:56,899 --> 00:05:58,400
Should've known this
doctor was a quack.

125
00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:00,444
His office was in,
like, a warehouse.

126
00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:02,654
I see, I see.

127
00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:05,824
Questions?

128
00:06:06,408 --> 00:06:08,994
No, no. Just, please
help me, doctor.

129
00:06:09,161 --> 00:06:11,371
Absolutely. It's usually easier

130
00:06:11,455 --> 00:06:14,124
to do these things right
the first time, but...

131
00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:17,085
What? You seem dubious.

132
00:06:17,169 --> 00:06:18,170
Hmm?

133
00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:19,713
Oh, no, not at all.

134
00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:21,632
I mean, I hear you're
the best, Dr. maccabee.

135
00:06:21,924 --> 00:06:23,509
I don't know about that,

136
00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:27,429
but I think we can figure
something out here.

137
00:06:27,930 --> 00:06:29,765
Relax, relax.

138
00:06:31,642 --> 00:06:33,894
That's relaxed? Hmm.

139
00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:36,855
Here, let me just pull
it down for a sec.

140
00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:40,275
And I let go. Okay, shoots right
back up there. (Snickers)

141
00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:44,196
I'm sorry. Oh. Sorry about what?

142
00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:45,948
Oh, my god! It's just...

143
00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:49,159
That just really
went right up there.

144
00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:51,078
That was high. You
gotta watch that.

145
00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:53,121
It's gonna get
caught in your hair.

146
00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:56,708
I don't know, maybe I should
just keep it like this.

147
00:06:56,959 --> 00:06:58,293
It seems to make
other people happy.

148
00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:01,839
No. But, seriously, are you available
for my kid's birthday party?

149
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:02,881
(Laughing)

150
00:07:03,173 --> 00:07:04,550
Danny: That's too
much. I'm sorry!

151
00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:05,676
Let me give you a hug.

152
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,636
That's what you need
first. We'll fix this.

153
00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:08,971
Mmm.

154
00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:11,473
Oh, god! Okay, I gotta...

155
00:07:11,557 --> 00:07:13,058
I'm gonna excuse
myself. I'm sorry.

156
00:07:14,226 --> 00:07:15,811
Ding-dong!

157
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,689
Eddie's here. Hey. My cousin.

158
00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:20,107
Oh.

159
00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:21,483
Oh, my gosh.

160
00:07:21,692 --> 00:07:23,652
Brows gone wild over here.

161
00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:24,987
I'm actually digging it.

162
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:26,071
And what are you doing later?

163
00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:27,197
(Laughs) Oh!

164
00:07:27,281 --> 00:07:30,576
Oh, sorry, I'm kind of seeing
anybody else. There you go.

165
00:07:30,826 --> 00:07:32,286
Oh, browch. (Laughs)

166
00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:33,579
My gosh.

167
00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:35,122
Look, I don't know
who you're seeing,

168
00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:36,540
but whoever they are,

169
00:07:36,707 --> 00:07:40,586
they don't have what this guy's got
down there, you know what I mean?

170
00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:41,920
All right, Eddie.

171
00:07:42,004 --> 00:07:44,965
Yeah, it's a very good one. I
should know, I installed it.

172
00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:46,592
Oh, you had a
penile enlargement?

173
00:07:47,885 --> 00:07:48,927
Yes.

174
00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:52,681
People really do that?
That is hilarious!

175
00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:55,392
See you on the 28th,
Dr. maccabee!

176
00:07:56,643 --> 00:08:01,106
Dude, why are you telling
everybody about my surgery?

177
00:08:01,273 --> 00:08:02,983
Am I hiding the
secrets around here?

178
00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:04,443
You don't think Katherine
knows about this?

179
00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:06,403
Katherine was in the
room when I did that.

180
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,071
She held the magnifying glass.

181
00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:09,781
I did. And the tweezer.

182
00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:11,200
Real nice.

183
00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:12,826
Did you get a chance
to try it out yet?

184
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,996
Uh, yeah. I've banged it up.

185
00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:18,207
It's got a couple dents.
I'm not gonna lie.

186
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:20,250
Yeah. You did?

187
00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:22,127
Not from a human.

188
00:08:22,211 --> 00:08:23,921
It's got... from
this doll I made.

189
00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:25,422
Oh.

190
00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:27,841
(Upbeat music playing)

191
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:35,974
Hey, adon. Yo, yo.

192
00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:38,435
Danny! I am so happy
you could be here!

193
00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:40,312
How are you, baby? Did
you bring any Botox?

194
00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:42,689
I didn't bring the Botox. I
brought my cousin, Eddie.

195
00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:44,358
Nice to meet you, Eddie.

196
00:08:44,650 --> 00:08:45,776
Is this a Halloween party?

197
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,486
Are you kidding me right now?

198
00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:48,779
You got a little
more work done, huh?

199
00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:50,864
Yeah, just a little bit,
just tweaking, tweaking.

200
00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:52,449
Maintenance, maintenance.

201
00:08:52,658 --> 00:08:54,701
I just wanna stay
in the game, Danny.

202
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,287
I don't wanna hit home runs,
just some singles. That's all.

203
00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:59,081
You gotta stop, though,
I'm telling you.

204
00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:00,666
Do you have any
feeling in your face?

205
00:09:00,916 --> 00:09:02,709
Just in this one
spot right here.

206
00:09:02,835 --> 00:09:06,672
And then from the eyebrows
down, dead, dead.

207
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,590
(Strained laughing)

208
00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:11,468
Is that a car alarm?

209
00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:13,554
He's laughing, he's
laughing. Oh, okay.

210
00:09:13,679 --> 00:09:14,930
I wanted to go to your
cousin Danny here,

211
00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:16,515
but he refused to do any work.

212
00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:19,142
He didn't wanna put his
fingers in the pie. Ooh!

213
00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:20,686
It was getting dangerous.
This amount...

214
00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:22,354
You gotta slow it down.

215
00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:25,315
Okay, see? That shouldn't
be happening right now.

216
00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:27,192
Adon! Adon, adon, adon!

217
00:09:27,651 --> 00:09:29,736
Ariel cut open his
knee. It looks awful.

218
00:09:29,862 --> 00:09:30,904
What happened? Settle, settle.

219
00:09:30,988 --> 00:09:32,197
What do you expect
me to do about it?

220
00:09:32,281 --> 00:09:34,324
It's bleeding. You know what?
I could stitch him up.

221
00:09:34,408 --> 00:09:36,076
Why don't you go get
me my bag? All right.

222
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:38,287
So, you fell down
the stairs, huh?

223
00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:39,663
Yeah.

224
00:09:39,705 --> 00:09:40,831
Mmm-hmm.

225
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:42,374
Did you trip over something?

226
00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:43,876
Was there a skateboard
there, or...

227
00:09:44,042 --> 00:09:46,420
No, I was distracted
by something.

228
00:09:46,879 --> 00:09:48,046
What distracted you?

229
00:09:48,172 --> 00:09:49,298
A girl.

230
00:09:49,548 --> 00:09:52,176
A girl, okay. Was
it your mother?

231
00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:53,427
No!

232
00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:54,803
'Cause she just looks good.

233
00:09:54,887 --> 00:09:57,264
That's your stepmom. I
can talk like that.

234
00:09:57,389 --> 00:09:59,391
All right. This is Lidocaine.
Don't think about it.

235
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,226
(Groans) Ow!

236
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:03,270
Don't think about it.
Think about your face.

237
00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:04,438
Good, good.

238
00:10:04,855 --> 00:10:06,023
Blonde, brunette, redhead?

239
00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:11,945
Blonde, tan, tall, rocking body.

240
00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:13,363
Nipples.

241
00:10:13,739 --> 00:10:15,490
Want me to numb
something else for you?

242
00:10:15,574 --> 00:10:16,867
You're getting a little
nutty over there.

243
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,535
(Exclaims) No! No,
I'm good. I'm good.

244
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:21,914
I'm alive! I'm alive, everybody!

245
00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:35,093
Good job, doctor.
That was really nice.

246
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:37,137
The distraction, I'm guessing.

247
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:38,305
The what?

248
00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:41,016
The boy was distracted.
That's why he fell.

249
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,393
So, I'm taking the rap for this.

250
00:10:43,519 --> 00:10:46,104
Yes. Your hotness basically
pushed him down the stairs.

251
00:10:46,230 --> 00:10:47,898
Good luck proving that
in court, wisengruber.

252
00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:49,691
Wisengruber? Is that
what they're saying

253
00:10:49,775 --> 00:10:51,151
on the gossip girl nowadays?

254
00:10:51,944 --> 00:10:54,488
I knew you two would
eventually find each other!

255
00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:57,366
But be careful, Palmer,
these plastic surgeons,

256
00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:59,785
they really know how to operate.

257
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:00,953
(Strained laughing)

258
00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:04,039
Yeah, all right,
adon. All right.

259
00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:10,838
Palmer: I just don't know
about plastic surgery.

260
00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:12,506
I mean, doesn't it
always look so fake?

261
00:11:12,673 --> 00:11:14,800
Depends who's doing it. I'm pretty
good at it. I'm telling you.

262
00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:16,885
Some of my patients are
here tonight. Oh, really?

263
00:11:16,969 --> 00:11:18,011
Really, really. Look around,

264
00:11:18,095 --> 00:11:21,515
see if you can find
someone decent-looking.

265
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:23,642
How 'bout her?

266
00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:25,310
The lady from saw?

267
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:27,813
Fine. Who did you do?

268
00:11:28,397 --> 00:11:29,940
All right. I hate
to rat the guy out,

269
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,859
but see that guy over there?

270
00:11:32,276 --> 00:11:33,861
You mean sexy ass?

271
00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:36,488
Before I met him, he
was no buns Bobby.

272
00:11:36,572 --> 00:11:37,698
Really?

273
00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:39,908
His back went straight
to his legs. No kidding.

274
00:11:40,075 --> 00:11:41,076
He'd go to the bathroom,

275
00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:42,202
he'd slide right in the toilet.

276
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,831
I know, I know, that's
really romantic, isn't it?

277
00:11:46,832 --> 00:11:49,501
So, north Carolina, how long
have you lived here in la?

278
00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:51,003
I've been here almost two years.

279
00:11:51,086 --> 00:11:53,547
Uh-huh. That's a lot of
auditioning for you.

280
00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:55,132
You think I'm an actress?

281
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:56,550
I guarantee you're an actress.

282
00:11:56,717 --> 00:11:59,386
Well, guess again, doc. I
teach sixth grade math.

283
00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:02,681
They got no schools in north
Carolina to teach at?

284
00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:06,185
My parents divorced.

285
00:12:06,268 --> 00:12:07,603
Had a pretty nasty
one, actually,

286
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,271
when I was in the
eighth grade. Mmm-hmm.

287
00:12:09,438 --> 00:12:13,817
And... I don't know. I got
tired of picking sides, so...

288
00:12:13,859 --> 00:12:18,322
Okay. I thought I'd make a change
and, yeah, move out to la.

289
00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:21,200
You came to the right place.
No one gets divorced in la.

290
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,492
Mmm-hmm.

291
00:12:23,744 --> 00:12:27,206
I've never hung out with a
girl your age. This is nice.

292
00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:30,459
Oh, no. Your first lie to me.

293
00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:32,878
You're good. All right.

294
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:36,215
I've never hung out with
a girl your age and

295
00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:39,218
connected the way
we are right now.

296
00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:41,553
Actually, I've never
connected with,

297
00:12:41,637 --> 00:12:43,597
I don't think any
girl at any age.

298
00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:46,642
See? I can tell
when you're lying

299
00:12:46,725 --> 00:12:48,769
and when you're telling
the truth. Oh.

300
00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:52,606
Yeah. The second thing
I said was the truth.

301
00:12:53,065 --> 00:12:54,233
I know.

302
00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:09,540
Oh, my god. That was the
greatest night of my life.

303
00:13:10,082 --> 00:13:13,794
Yeah. This feels
like it could be...

304
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:16,255
I don't know, a real thing.

305
00:13:17,673 --> 00:13:19,883
It's a thing all right, Palmer.

306
00:13:20,175 --> 00:13:21,844
Well, I have to get to work,

307
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:23,262
but how 'bout I take your number

308
00:13:23,512 --> 00:13:26,640
and then you can take me out
on a proper date next time?

309
00:13:27,266 --> 00:13:30,811
I got a business card in my
pocket if you wanna get that.

310
00:13:31,353 --> 00:13:33,146
You better call. (Laughing)

311
00:13:33,230 --> 00:13:35,357
You better not just,
just leave me hanging.

312
00:13:35,941 --> 00:13:37,401
I'd get it for you myself,

313
00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:39,528
but I don't want you to see
me naked in the daylight.

314
00:13:39,611 --> 00:13:41,488
It could be a deal breaker.

315
00:13:46,618 --> 00:13:47,828
What's this?

316
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,622
A circle?

317
00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:53,417
A wedding ring? You're married?

318
00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:55,836
No, no, no, I'm not,
I'm not married.

319
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:59,089
That is a... that is...
That's not mine.

320
00:13:59,715 --> 00:14:02,509
Whose wedding ring is
in your pants, Danny?

321
00:14:02,968 --> 00:14:06,638
All right, listen, just give
me a minute to explain this.

322
00:14:06,889 --> 00:14:08,015
Please.

323
00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:10,350
It's gonna take
more than a minute.

324
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:11,852
I am such an idiot!

325
00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:13,145
No, no, no, no, no.

326
00:14:13,228 --> 00:14:15,063
Don't call me!

327
00:14:15,314 --> 00:14:16,773
No, Palmer!

328
00:14:19,151 --> 00:14:20,277
(Groans)

329
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:23,071
I told you that this whole
fake marriage thing

330
00:14:23,155 --> 00:14:25,073
was just gonna come and
bite you in the ass.

331
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:26,909
Why don't you just
tell her the truth?

332
00:14:27,159 --> 00:14:28,869
You think I can
tell her the truth?

333
00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:31,455
Let me practice. You
be her right now.

334
00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:33,332
Oh, good. Okay, hold on.

335
00:14:35,334 --> 00:14:37,753
Okay. She's not like
that, but anyways.

336
00:14:37,836 --> 00:14:41,757
Um, I wear this fake
wedding ring sometimes...

337
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:42,841
You're a pig.

338
00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:44,092
(Groans)

339
00:14:44,176 --> 00:14:46,845
Sorry. You're a pig.

340
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:48,972
What's wrong? You're
walking really weird.

341
00:14:49,181 --> 00:14:51,308
My back. I slept on
the beach last night.

342
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:52,518
God almighty.

343
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:54,436
When are you gonna
strengthen your spine?

344
00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:56,230
Seriously, Flomax.

345
00:14:56,313 --> 00:14:58,232
You gotta work out more
than once a month.

346
00:14:58,273 --> 00:14:59,816
I can't, I don't have
time to work out.

347
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:01,401
You do. You can't
say that, Danny.

348
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:04,655
My mother always said Cary
Grant never went to the gym.

349
00:15:04,780 --> 00:15:07,741
Only took the stairs, every
day, never an elevator.

350
00:15:07,866 --> 00:15:10,327
You wanna hear my impression of
Cary Grant's Butler? Nuh-uh.

351
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:11,453
Watch. What?

352
00:15:11,537 --> 00:15:13,872
Hello? No, he's dead.

353
00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:15,624
Okay, bye-bye.

354
00:15:16,166 --> 00:15:17,376
That's good. That's funny.

355
00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:18,752
Mom, give me some money.

356
00:15:19,378 --> 00:15:21,213
Hi. How are you?

357
00:15:21,296 --> 00:15:22,548
Nice to see you, kids.

358
00:15:22,631 --> 00:15:24,591
Please be polite and say
hello to Dr. maccabee.

359
00:15:24,842 --> 00:15:26,093
(In English accent)
'Ello, Dr. Danny.

360
00:15:26,176 --> 00:15:27,636
'Ow is you today?

361
00:15:27,928 --> 00:15:29,471
Is that my associate,
Dr. Doolittle?

362
00:15:29,555 --> 00:15:30,722
Why is she talking like that?

363
00:15:30,848 --> 00:15:32,891
She's been working
on some accents.

364
00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:36,144
I am takin' an acting
class this summer, I is.

365
00:15:36,311 --> 00:15:38,856
Gonna be the next
Miley Cyrus, I am.

366
00:15:39,064 --> 00:15:41,441
How 'bout you, young man?
Do you like Hannah Montana?

367
00:15:41,567 --> 00:15:43,443
No. I like californication.

368
00:15:43,569 --> 00:15:46,280
When do you ever watch
californication?

369
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:49,449
Rosa lets us watch showtime
when she calls her boyfriend.

370
00:15:49,908 --> 00:15:52,661
Eat the mushroom! Eat
the mushroom! Yes!

371
00:15:53,328 --> 00:15:55,372
Mmm. You run a tight
ship at home, huh?

372
00:15:55,581 --> 00:15:56,748
Michael: Dr. Danny?

373
00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,041
Yeah?

374
00:15:58,125 --> 00:16:00,919
Will you take me to Hawaii so
I can swim with the dolphins?

375
00:16:01,086 --> 00:16:03,505
Take you to Hawaii? No.

376
00:16:03,881 --> 00:16:06,175
I saw a show on the
discovery channel.

377
00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:08,260
They say in Hawaii
they have dolphins

378
00:16:08,302 --> 00:16:09,928
that you can swim with
if you pay money.

379
00:16:10,262 --> 00:16:11,263
Okay.

380
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:14,141
But I don't have any money.
And my mom says you're rich.

381
00:16:14,433 --> 00:16:16,143
Michael! No, it's fine.

382
00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:18,353
Maybe you should
make your own money.

383
00:16:18,437 --> 00:16:20,480
Maybe a paper route or
something like that?

384
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:24,318
'Cause rich people don't
give other people trips.

385
00:16:24,401 --> 00:16:26,403
That's why they remain
rich. You understand?

386
00:16:26,612 --> 00:16:29,990
But my mom says you do charity
for kids all the time.

387
00:16:30,324 --> 00:16:35,454
I do charity work like I fix a
cleft lip or a child's deformity.

388
00:16:35,621 --> 00:16:38,582
I don't take them to Hawaii. I
could get arrested for that.

389
00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:42,002
What if I was deformed? Then
would you take me to Hawaii?

390
00:16:42,628 --> 00:16:44,588
If you were deformed, I'd
bring you to Hawaii,

391
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:47,216
but I'd leave you there, 'cause
I wouldn't want to look at you.

392
00:16:47,341 --> 00:16:49,134
Okay. Here's the money,
and I want change.

393
00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:50,427
And I wanna hear back

394
00:16:50,511 --> 00:16:52,554
that you actually ate the
food that I am paying for.

395
00:16:53,222 --> 00:16:55,974
Mom, before we go,
can I make a devlin?

396
00:16:56,141 --> 00:16:58,685
Sure. Down the hall. Will
you please go with him?

397
00:16:58,852 --> 00:17:01,522
We open in five minutes and I am
not having him sit there forever.

398
00:17:01,605 --> 00:17:03,607
Bloody hell right,
I will, mumsy!

399
00:17:03,815 --> 00:17:05,859
All right, Winston Churchill.

400
00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:07,319
He said, "I gotta
make a devlin."

401
00:17:07,361 --> 00:17:09,238
What does that mean? Uh...

402
00:17:09,279 --> 00:17:12,908
It's just a friend of mine who
was in my sorority in college

403
00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:15,410
named devlin Adams, and...

404
00:17:15,869 --> 00:17:17,829
Well, I wouldn't say friend.
I'd say more my Nemesis.

405
00:17:17,996 --> 00:17:20,040
Oh, so she was a frenemy? Yes.

406
00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:22,876
You'd probably like her.
She's really, really fake.

407
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:24,002
Ah.

408
00:17:24,086 --> 00:17:25,879
Always had to have
the coolest clothes

409
00:17:25,921 --> 00:17:28,590
and the hottest boys
and, you know...

410
00:17:28,757 --> 00:17:30,801
She bothers you. A lot.

411
00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:33,554
So, one night, I was just
having a glass of wine.

412
00:17:33,679 --> 00:17:35,514
A bottle. A bottle.

413
00:17:35,597 --> 00:17:36,765
And, uh...

414
00:17:37,266 --> 00:17:40,018
And I just got so tired of
the kids saying things like,

415
00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:41,436
"I gotta take a crap."

416
00:17:41,562 --> 00:17:43,021
"I gotta take a dump."

417
00:17:43,230 --> 00:17:46,316
So, I told them that it was
called "making a devlin,"

418
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:47,776
and they liked it.

419
00:17:47,860 --> 00:17:48,861
And it stuck.

420
00:17:49,695 --> 00:17:51,321
I always call it
making a black pickle.

421
00:17:51,405 --> 00:17:53,198
Making a what? I don't say that.

422
00:17:53,282 --> 00:17:55,117
Out loud? Good. To others. No.

423
00:17:55,534 --> 00:17:57,119
What are we gonna do about
my love life, though?

424
00:17:57,244 --> 00:18:00,372
Oh, Danny, I would feel
terrible for you if I had any,

425
00:18:00,706 --> 00:18:02,708
even the slightest,
investment in you

426
00:18:02,791 --> 00:18:04,251
successfully banging
23-year-olds.

427
00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:06,920
Holy devlin, you're
not listening to me.

428
00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:10,549
This is like not some
bull-devlin fling.

429
00:18:10,632 --> 00:18:12,176
I mean, I'm serious.

430
00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:13,760
This is the real
devlin. I could...

431
00:18:14,887 --> 00:18:17,139
I swear to god, I could see
myself ending up with this girl.

432
00:18:17,639 --> 00:18:18,599
Oh.

433
00:18:20,058 --> 00:18:21,685
You're right. You can't
tell her the truth.

434
00:18:21,810 --> 00:18:22,978
High score!

435
00:18:23,145 --> 00:18:24,938
Oh, god. Sorry.

436
00:18:25,898 --> 00:18:27,065
I'm glad someone's doing good.

437
00:18:27,191 --> 00:18:28,358
(Chuckling)

438
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:30,360
You know what? You don't
wanna get serious,

439
00:18:30,444 --> 00:18:32,654
'cause when you get serious,
that leads to marriage,

440
00:18:32,821 --> 00:18:35,282
and then marriage leads to
divorce, and divorce is just...

441
00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:36,450
I mean, look at these poor kids.

442
00:18:36,992 --> 00:18:39,119
You know, their dad was
supposed to pick them up today.

443
00:18:39,161 --> 00:18:40,579
He was a no-show? Again.

444
00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:41,955
But you know what?

445
00:18:42,039 --> 00:18:44,499
At least I got my head
together and I divorced him.

446
00:18:44,666 --> 00:18:45,959
Yeah, yeah.

447
00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:49,588
Wait a minute.

448
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,423
(School bell ringing)

449
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:57,971
You go ahead without me.

450
00:18:58,388 --> 00:18:59,389
Oh, no, no, no.

451
00:18:59,473 --> 00:19:00,849
Palmer, Palmer, Palmer,
Palmer, Palmer.

452
00:19:01,016 --> 00:19:02,476
I told you I didn't
want to see you.

453
00:19:02,601 --> 00:19:04,269
I just want to explain
something to you.

454
00:19:04,436 --> 00:19:06,563
Let me explain something to you.

455
00:19:06,647 --> 00:19:07,981
(Kids exclaiming)

456
00:19:09,191 --> 00:19:10,943
I do not date married men.

457
00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:12,778
My father cheated on my
mom when I was young.

458
00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:14,655
I am not going to
be the other woman!

459
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:16,698
Adulterer! Fornicator!

460
00:19:17,032 --> 00:19:18,992
All right, take it easy,
Damien, all right?

461
00:19:19,117 --> 00:19:20,953
Okay, his name is Silas,
leave him out of this.

462
00:19:21,453 --> 00:19:23,455
I'll kill you.

463
00:19:23,705 --> 00:19:25,541
What? Anytime!

464
00:19:26,542 --> 00:19:28,460
Listen! I am married.

465
00:19:28,794 --> 00:19:30,879
But it is a horrible marriage.

466
00:19:30,963 --> 00:19:32,714
She doesn't even
talk to me anymore.

467
00:19:32,965 --> 00:19:34,466
Danny, that's what
all married men say.

468
00:19:34,842 --> 00:19:36,677
If it's so bad, why
don't you get divorced?

469
00:19:36,885 --> 00:19:38,053
I am.

470
00:19:39,805 --> 00:19:42,224
You are? Yes! It's over.

471
00:19:42,558 --> 00:19:44,101
Oh, my god, I can't
believe this.

472
00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:45,561
I destroyed a marriage!

473
00:19:45,769 --> 00:19:47,855
I really feel like I'm
gonna be sick. I can't...

474
00:19:47,980 --> 00:19:49,940
No, no, it wasn't 'cause of you!

475
00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:52,025
I filed a long, long time ago.

476
00:19:52,401 --> 00:19:55,445
We're gonna sign the
papers in a couple of days

477
00:19:55,529 --> 00:19:57,614
and it's like, she's dead to me.

478
00:19:57,906 --> 00:19:59,032
What's her name?

479
00:19:59,241 --> 00:20:00,534
Mrs. maccabee.

480
00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:05,873
You mean her first name?
Her first name is devlin.

481
00:20:06,748 --> 00:20:08,083
Her name's devlin?

482
00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:11,003
Isn't that a shitty
name? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

483
00:20:11,253 --> 00:20:14,965
But devlin and I are
splitting up, fortunately,

484
00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:19,386
'cause I caught her cheating
on me with another guy.

485
00:20:19,511 --> 00:20:20,596
I didn't catch her.

486
00:20:20,721 --> 00:20:24,766
The television show cheaters
caught her and the guy.

487
00:20:25,726 --> 00:20:27,144
And I told them not
to air it, though,

488
00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:29,396
because it's too painful.

489
00:20:29,479 --> 00:20:31,690
They actually burned the
tape so you can't see it.

490
00:20:31,773 --> 00:20:33,400
But I would love you to.

491
00:20:33,859 --> 00:20:35,402
There's another man?

492
00:20:35,736 --> 00:20:38,405
There's another guy, yes. Dolph.

493
00:20:38,947 --> 00:20:40,073
Dolph?

494
00:20:40,115 --> 00:20:42,951
Dolph lundgren. Yeah.

495
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:44,620
Like the guy from rocky iv?

496
00:20:44,786 --> 00:20:47,331
No, no, a different
dolph lundgren.

497
00:20:47,623 --> 00:20:49,791
Apparently, if you
bring that one up,

498
00:20:49,875 --> 00:20:52,294
this one gets really
angry, so don't.

499
00:20:52,461 --> 00:20:54,379
Danny, guys always say they're
gonna leave their wives.

500
00:20:54,463 --> 00:20:55,547
They never do.

501
00:20:55,631 --> 00:20:57,799
I'm telling you, she's
happy with this dolph guy,

502
00:20:57,841 --> 00:21:00,010
good for her. Now
I wanna be happy.

503
00:21:00,093 --> 00:21:02,387
And the only way I can be
happy is if I'm with you!

504
00:21:02,471 --> 00:21:03,555
All right?

505
00:21:04,056 --> 00:21:06,975
Just wanna be able
to be with you

506
00:21:07,059 --> 00:21:08,810
and not be called a "fornicator"

507
00:21:08,894 --> 00:21:10,562
or an "adulterer"
or whatever that

508
00:21:10,646 --> 00:21:12,439
children of the corn
kid was calling me.

509
00:21:13,106 --> 00:21:14,149
Okay.

510
00:21:14,274 --> 00:21:15,317
Okay?

511
00:21:15,651 --> 00:21:17,319
I just need to hear it from her.

512
00:21:18,487 --> 00:21:20,739
How about if she texts
you, would that be good?

513
00:21:21,156 --> 00:21:22,241
I need to meet her.

514
00:21:28,038 --> 00:21:29,414
Let's do it.

515
00:21:29,790 --> 00:21:32,000
Katherine: You want me to be
your wife? Danny: Uh-huh.

516
00:21:32,042 --> 00:21:34,086
And you couldn't think of another
name, other than devlin?

517
00:21:34,169 --> 00:21:36,797
I practically took a devlin in
my pants when she asked me.

518
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:37,965
"What's her name?"
I got panicked.

519
00:21:38,048 --> 00:21:39,091
I get nervous around this girl.

520
00:21:39,174 --> 00:21:40,342
You got panicked?

521
00:21:40,425 --> 00:21:42,594
You who invents a fake
wife every Friday night?

522
00:21:42,678 --> 00:21:43,846
Yeah. Doesn't that say something

523
00:21:43,887 --> 00:21:45,138
about what I feel
about this girl?

524
00:21:45,264 --> 00:21:46,431
Have you ever thought
about the time

525
00:21:46,515 --> 00:21:48,350
that she's actually gonna walk
into your office... uh-huh.

526
00:21:48,475 --> 00:21:52,479
And sees that I'm your
assistantlreceptionist?

527
00:21:52,646 --> 00:21:54,356
So easy. I'm a plastic surgeon,

528
00:21:54,439 --> 00:21:55,774
you will never look
like you again.

529
00:21:55,983 --> 00:21:57,818
Snip, snap. Chip, chap.
What are you talking about?

530
00:21:57,943 --> 00:21:59,486
I'm kidding. I'll get
you a fake mustache.

531
00:21:59,570 --> 00:22:02,531
Oh, my god, you've really,
really not thought this through.

532
00:22:02,614 --> 00:22:05,492
Will you please just
look at some clothes?

533
00:22:05,617 --> 00:22:07,327
Look at that. I don't wear...

534
00:22:07,411 --> 00:22:08,829
I have clothes, by the way.

535
00:22:08,871 --> 00:22:10,205
I do not need to do any
of this. I'm fine.

536
00:22:10,330 --> 00:22:12,082
Yes. You have the best
clothes that Old Navy sells.

537
00:22:12,207 --> 00:22:14,168
I'm just saying you gotta look
like a plastic surgeon's wife.

538
00:22:14,293 --> 00:22:16,670
I want to create the illusion
I had a hot first wife.

539
00:22:16,795 --> 00:22:18,130
You're so... not this!

540
00:22:18,213 --> 00:22:19,840
Okay, come on, let's
go, you asked for it.

541
00:22:19,923 --> 00:22:20,966
I'm ready.

542
00:22:25,345 --> 00:22:27,472
Wow! These are... oh, geez.

543
00:22:27,556 --> 00:22:28,599
Nice, nice.

544
00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:31,685
It's just been a while since
I've been in heels, sorry.

545
00:22:31,852 --> 00:22:33,812
Okay, okay. Oh, gosh. Okay.

546
00:22:33,979 --> 00:22:35,689
Get there. Yeah, great.

547
00:22:35,814 --> 00:22:39,234
Oh, my god! These are gorgeous!

548
00:22:39,484 --> 00:22:41,528
How much are these? $1,700.

549
00:22:41,862 --> 00:22:44,281
$1,700? What, do you
come with them?

550
00:22:45,324 --> 00:22:48,493
My parents' house
costs $1,700. No, no.

551
00:22:49,703 --> 00:22:51,330
No. What, did Mickey
mantle sign those?

552
00:22:51,413 --> 00:22:53,540
Why are they $1,700,
they made outta panda?

553
00:22:53,707 --> 00:22:55,000
Walk away. Yeah. You know what?

554
00:22:55,167 --> 00:22:56,919
We won't really be
needing them anyway.

555
00:22:57,044 --> 00:22:58,879
'Cause I'm actually
starting to...

556
00:22:59,004 --> 00:23:02,508
I'm actually starting to feel
not so hot. Is it warm in here?

557
00:23:02,716 --> 00:23:04,927
Whoo. I'm not sure I'll be
able to make it this evening.

558
00:23:05,594 --> 00:23:08,680
Very good. Okay, you know
what? We'll take them.

559
00:23:09,765 --> 00:23:11,934
It's your Christmas
bonus. Oh, really?

560
00:23:12,017 --> 00:23:13,769
Okay, then I would like
them in blue, too.

561
00:23:13,852 --> 00:23:16,522
In case a heel breaks or
I just want to cuddle.

562
00:23:16,688 --> 00:23:18,565
It's beautiful. You sicken me.

563
00:23:18,857 --> 00:23:20,609
Yes, well, that's why
we're getting a divorce.

564
00:23:20,692 --> 00:23:23,862
We're getting a divorce because
you're greedy, schemy and selfish.

565
00:23:24,154 --> 00:23:25,489
(Stutters)

566
00:23:25,572 --> 00:23:28,242
Actually, I think you need to
get the matching bag, too.

567
00:23:28,408 --> 00:23:30,202
Yeah, I think I should.

568
00:23:30,369 --> 00:23:32,120
Mmm. Thank you, Laurie. I agree.

569
00:23:32,287 --> 00:23:34,081
All the girls are sticking
together. Isn't that sweet?

570
00:23:34,164 --> 00:23:35,749
Mmm-hmm. She's on your
side, what a shock.

571
00:23:35,999 --> 00:23:37,626
You asked for this. Trust me.

572
00:23:37,709 --> 00:23:38,877
Uh-huh. You asked for
this. (Exclaims)

573
00:23:40,796 --> 00:23:42,840
(Upbeat music playing)

574
00:24:07,489 --> 00:24:08,532
No.

575
00:24:10,325 --> 00:24:11,368
No.

576
00:24:17,624 --> 00:24:21,211
Hell, no! No, no, no!

577
00:24:21,295 --> 00:24:22,421
What do you mean, no?

578
00:24:22,629 --> 00:24:23,964
No? No what?

579
00:24:24,131 --> 00:24:27,259
No hope. Okay? There's
only one word for it.

580
00:24:27,467 --> 00:24:29,636
What is it? Neglect.

581
00:24:30,345 --> 00:24:31,722
Okay? This is the one word

582
00:24:31,805 --> 00:24:33,182
for the whole thing.
Are you the husband?

583
00:24:33,348 --> 00:24:35,601
I'm the soon to be ex-husband.

584
00:24:35,767 --> 00:24:36,935
We're getting a divorce.

585
00:24:37,144 --> 00:24:38,395
Well, you know he's
not divorcing you.

586
00:24:38,478 --> 00:24:39,605
He's divorcing your head.

587
00:24:39,771 --> 00:24:41,607
True 'dat, Ernesto.
Right on the money.

588
00:24:41,773 --> 00:24:43,150
Your hair is so messed
up, I don't even...

589
00:24:43,233 --> 00:24:44,318
Let me count the ways.

590
00:24:44,443 --> 00:24:47,404
It's dull, it's dead, it's flat.

591
00:24:47,529 --> 00:24:48,739
Don't forget smelly.

592
00:24:48,822 --> 00:24:50,199
It don't smell, particularly...

593
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:51,700
Okay, I think we
got it. You bad.

594
00:24:51,825 --> 00:24:54,119
You is bad. Give me a little
bit. That's bad, though.

595
00:24:54,161 --> 00:24:58,207
You guys, come on, seriously.
Ernesto, can you just, please

596
00:24:58,290 --> 00:25:00,000
do something, so we can be home

597
00:25:00,042 --> 00:25:01,043
and I can get out of here?

598
00:25:01,126 --> 00:25:03,212
Hurricane Katrina could
do something, baby.

599
00:25:03,295 --> 00:25:04,546
I'm gonna do something
transcendent.

600
00:25:04,671 --> 00:25:06,840
Katya! Yuri, Mrs. hwiggins!

601
00:25:06,882 --> 00:25:08,091
We going in deep, y'all.

602
00:25:10,052 --> 00:25:11,553
You seem nervous, Danny.

603
00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:12,804
No, no, I just...

604
00:25:12,888 --> 00:25:14,723
It's weird, she
gets me very tense.

605
00:25:14,890 --> 00:25:16,350
I'm sorry to put
you through this.

606
00:25:16,517 --> 00:25:17,893
No, I understand why
we're doing this.

607
00:25:18,018 --> 00:25:20,020
I'm just looking forward to
getting past this part of my life

608
00:25:20,145 --> 00:25:21,897
and moving on to the good part.

609
00:25:22,022 --> 00:25:25,484
We will. Soon. Tonight.

610
00:25:25,567 --> 00:25:27,027
Good god, yes.

611
00:25:27,319 --> 00:25:28,946
(Upbeat music playing)

612
00:25:46,171 --> 00:25:48,006
Is that her?

613
00:25:48,715 --> 00:25:50,008
I think so.

614
00:25:53,220 --> 00:25:54,596
She's stunning.

615
00:25:55,389 --> 00:25:57,266
I love her shoes.

616
00:25:57,432 --> 00:25:59,643
Yeah, well, she got about
five pairs of them.

617
00:25:59,726 --> 00:26:00,894
Maybe she'll give you one.

618
00:26:02,437 --> 00:26:03,814
Henderson!

619
00:26:03,856 --> 00:26:06,066
Do you see Dr. maccabee
anywhere in this...

620
00:26:06,775 --> 00:26:08,360
Oh! There he is.

621
00:26:08,402 --> 00:26:10,070
Keep the car running,
shan't be long.

622
00:26:11,071 --> 00:26:12,281
Hello, boring!

623
00:26:12,406 --> 00:26:14,074
Hey. You went with
a limo driver?

624
00:26:14,199 --> 00:26:15,742
I'm just playing the part.

625
00:26:15,951 --> 00:26:17,202
Okay.

626
00:26:17,703 --> 00:26:19,955
Palmer! Hi.

627
00:26:20,247 --> 00:26:22,791
Devlin maccabee. Soon
to be, single-abee.

628
00:26:24,459 --> 00:26:27,629
Waiter! Excuse me. Anybody?

629
00:26:27,754 --> 00:26:30,048
Yes, yes. Something
to drink, madam?

630
00:26:30,424 --> 00:26:31,550
Well, hello.

631
00:26:31,633 --> 00:26:33,635
I would like a
tall glass of you.

632
00:26:33,719 --> 00:26:35,637
Is that possible? Meow!

633
00:26:36,722 --> 00:26:39,308
I'm just kidding. Unless
you're really into it.

634
00:26:40,601 --> 00:26:42,686
Kidding again. No, I'm not.

635
00:26:43,437 --> 00:26:45,063
We don't know. Grey
goose Martinis,

636
00:26:45,105 --> 00:26:47,441
just keep 'em coming. Okay. Ooh!

637
00:26:47,900 --> 00:26:50,402
Make that a dirty Martini. Okay?

638
00:26:50,485 --> 00:26:51,653
Okay, that was a good one.

639
00:26:51,820 --> 00:26:54,323
Well, so, Palmer.

640
00:26:54,448 --> 00:26:55,866
I heard you and Danny had sex.

641
00:26:59,786 --> 00:27:03,498
Yes. I am so sorry, I had...

642
00:27:03,665 --> 00:27:06,126
Please, honey, it is fine.

643
00:27:06,418 --> 00:27:09,838
I'm just happy to hear that his
thing-a-ding can still ring-a-ding.

644
00:27:09,922 --> 00:27:13,342
'Cause he's got a
serious small issue

645
00:27:14,468 --> 00:27:16,220
with ed. Over here.

646
00:27:16,303 --> 00:27:17,429
Okay.

647
00:27:17,513 --> 00:27:18,972
What's ed? I don't...

648
00:27:19,139 --> 00:27:21,183
Oh, gosh. I forgot.
You're fifteen.

649
00:27:23,018 --> 00:27:26,355
Erectile dysfunction,
my darling.

650
00:27:26,688 --> 00:27:27,731
Think about it as if

651
00:27:27,814 --> 00:27:30,526
you're trying to throw
darts and you just...

652
00:27:30,651 --> 00:27:32,569
All you really got,
you're shooting with,

653
00:27:32,653 --> 00:27:34,154
like, overcooked spaghetti.

654
00:27:34,238 --> 00:27:35,322
Okay. Yeah.

655
00:27:35,697 --> 00:27:38,033
I just think that my
spaghetti wasn't loving

656
00:27:38,116 --> 00:27:39,701
the meatballs that
was being served.

657
00:27:39,826 --> 00:27:42,412
They were a little
too lumpy. Oh.

658
00:27:42,996 --> 00:27:45,082
I've heard from a lot
of men that I serve

659
00:27:45,165 --> 00:27:48,210
the finest meatballs in
Southern California.

660
00:27:48,502 --> 00:27:52,381
Of course. A lot of homeless
men have said this.

661
00:27:52,548 --> 00:27:54,925
They'll eat anything, you
know. (Laughs sarcastically)

662
00:27:55,175 --> 00:27:57,386
I'm just very shocked
that you remember

663
00:27:57,469 --> 00:27:59,054
anybody you've ever been with.

664
00:27:59,137 --> 00:28:01,390
With all the pills that
are in your system.

665
00:28:02,015 --> 00:28:03,392
She likes the pills, this one.

666
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:05,143
At night I come home,
"what's for dinner?"

667
00:28:05,394 --> 00:28:08,730
"Well, we have purple
pills, and the green ones"

668
00:28:08,814 --> 00:28:11,400
"and some lovely yellow bombers"

669
00:28:11,441 --> 00:28:13,193
"I just took out of the oven."

670
00:28:13,360 --> 00:28:14,403
Remember that?

671
00:28:15,904 --> 00:28:18,115
I had to do something
to amuse myself

672
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:21,577
while this one sat on
the throne for hours

673
00:28:21,660 --> 00:28:23,745
dealing with his irritable
bowel syndrome.

674
00:28:24,037 --> 00:28:25,789
I got another disease. Okay.

675
00:28:25,914 --> 00:28:29,751
Can I tell you, I spent
the Eve of our wedding

676
00:28:29,835 --> 00:28:31,211
sitting on the bed,

677
00:28:31,295 --> 00:28:35,883
listening to what sounded
like an underwater symphony,

678
00:28:36,008 --> 00:28:39,136
of French horns and bassoons

679
00:28:39,219 --> 00:28:40,929
coming out of our
hotel bathroom.

680
00:28:41,305 --> 00:28:44,975
Mix that with the smell of like
a dead cat and some fajitas

681
00:28:45,225 --> 00:28:47,227
and you've got what
you call yourself

682
00:28:47,269 --> 00:28:50,230
a severely diminished libido.

683
00:28:50,355 --> 00:28:51,648
(Thudding) Ow!

684
00:28:52,566 --> 00:28:54,109
Did you just kick me?

685
00:28:54,443 --> 00:28:56,403
No. Did you? You kicked her?

686
00:28:56,486 --> 00:28:57,529
Why'd you kick her?

687
00:28:57,946 --> 00:29:01,116
Yeah, I don't... I... yes.
I... I have leg spasms.

688
00:29:01,950 --> 00:29:03,285
Ow!

689
00:29:04,536 --> 00:29:05,621
It's a side effect.

690
00:29:05,704 --> 00:29:07,497
Terrible side effect from
all the pill popping.

691
00:29:07,581 --> 00:29:09,583
But, you know, it's
all better now.

692
00:29:09,666 --> 00:29:11,752
I'm clean and sober
and I apologize.

693
00:29:11,793 --> 00:29:12,920
It's okay.

694
00:29:12,961 --> 00:29:16,131
Thirteenth step, right
there. Back to drinking.

695
00:29:16,632 --> 00:29:18,550
Oh, Henderson, you
thoughtless oaf,

696
00:29:18,634 --> 00:29:20,010
stop texting, open that door.

697
00:29:20,511 --> 00:29:22,471
Why do you keep calling me
Henderson? Just go with it.

698
00:29:22,804 --> 00:29:25,057
Palmer, so lovely to meet you.

699
00:29:25,474 --> 00:29:27,059
Likewise, really.

700
00:29:27,434 --> 00:29:28,936
I mean, look at you two.

701
00:29:29,311 --> 00:29:30,896
I mean, it's like, Barbie and...

702
00:29:30,979 --> 00:29:32,022
Yes.

703
00:29:33,273 --> 00:29:34,900
Grandpa Ken.

704
00:29:34,983 --> 00:29:36,443
(Laughing)

705
00:29:36,527 --> 00:29:39,696
I mean... and even though
it did not work out

706
00:29:39,738 --> 00:29:42,449
between us at all...

707
00:29:43,116 --> 00:29:44,952
It's like it never
happened. You know?

708
00:29:44,993 --> 00:29:46,161
It really isn't.

709
00:29:46,286 --> 00:29:48,664
I still want my Danny to be
happy. Oh, look at that.

710
00:29:48,789 --> 00:29:49,957
Happy, happy, happy.

711
00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:51,166
Good night, kiddo. Okay.

712
00:29:51,416 --> 00:29:52,668
Hello.

713
00:29:53,335 --> 00:29:55,087
It's her drug dealer
I'm thinking.

714
00:29:55,462 --> 00:29:56,964
Okay, please put her on
the phone right now.

715
00:29:57,798 --> 00:29:59,007
Are you kidding me, honey?

716
00:29:59,091 --> 00:30:00,759
You know how I feel about

717
00:30:00,801 --> 00:30:03,720
you selling your
brother's stuff on ebay.

718
00:30:04,179 --> 00:30:05,806
Hey, hey, hey. Take
that in the car.

719
00:30:05,889 --> 00:30:07,015
No. It's okay.

720
00:30:07,099 --> 00:30:11,854
I will deal with you when I
get home, young lady. Okay.

721
00:30:12,187 --> 00:30:14,314
I mean, you would think...

722
00:30:17,317 --> 00:30:18,777
You have kids?

723
00:30:19,361 --> 00:30:21,113
Hmm? Hmm?

724
00:30:21,530 --> 00:30:23,156
You have... you have children?

725
00:30:23,991 --> 00:30:26,577
We have sort of a little bit...

726
00:30:26,618 --> 00:30:28,662
A little bit of children, right?

727
00:30:28,745 --> 00:30:30,247
When were you planning
on telling me

728
00:30:30,330 --> 00:30:31,456
about these children, Danny?

729
00:30:31,540 --> 00:30:32,833
I don't know, but listen,

730
00:30:32,875 --> 00:30:36,128
I have to go get to
those little munchkins.

731
00:30:36,253 --> 00:30:38,213
Palmer, so nice, seriously.

732
00:30:38,297 --> 00:30:39,339
Danny.

733
00:30:41,175 --> 00:30:42,968
No, no, no, hey, hey.

734
00:30:43,260 --> 00:30:44,553
Okay.

735
00:30:47,514 --> 00:30:49,558
Are you freaked out right
now about all this or...

736
00:30:50,350 --> 00:30:52,978
Actually, just the opposite.

737
00:30:53,395 --> 00:30:55,981
The opposite of freaked out?
What do you mean? Good?

738
00:30:56,064 --> 00:30:57,399
You know that I love kids.

739
00:30:57,441 --> 00:30:58,525
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

740
00:30:58,609 --> 00:31:00,569
I just never pegged
you as a kids guy.

741
00:31:00,944 --> 00:31:03,405
I'm a huge kids
guy. I love kids.

742
00:31:03,488 --> 00:31:05,199
Kids, kids, kids. Is...

743
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:07,409
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's my
thing. That's my bumper sticker.

744
00:31:07,492 --> 00:31:08,702
What are their names?

745
00:31:09,411 --> 00:31:12,873
What are their names
again? There is

746
00:31:13,373 --> 00:31:17,711
the girl who, of
course, is kiki Dee.

747
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:21,340
And then the boy's name's Bart.

748
00:31:21,632 --> 00:31:24,843
Which of course is
short for barto.

749
00:31:25,010 --> 00:31:26,345
Well, I wanna meet them!

750
00:31:27,095 --> 00:31:28,180
Of course you do.

751
00:31:28,972 --> 00:31:30,599
Maggie: So our mom doesn't
know that you took us today?

752
00:31:30,682 --> 00:31:31,892
Not yet.

753
00:31:31,975 --> 00:31:33,560
You know this is kidnapping.

754
00:31:33,685 --> 00:31:34,853
Stranger danger.

755
00:31:34,937 --> 00:31:36,230
What? No.

756
00:31:36,313 --> 00:31:38,941
Is the guy from dateline
nbc gonna walk in?

757
00:31:39,066 --> 00:31:43,403
No! I know you two a long
time and Rosa's here.

758
00:31:43,487 --> 00:31:45,697
(Singing)

759
00:31:45,781 --> 00:31:47,658
Doing whatever that Rosa does.

760
00:31:48,367 --> 00:31:49,993
God, she's freaky. Danny: Yeah.

761
00:31:50,118 --> 00:31:51,119
So here's the deal.

762
00:31:51,537 --> 00:31:55,082
How would you like to
be my pretend children

763
00:31:55,123 --> 00:31:56,500
for one afternoon?

764
00:31:57,459 --> 00:31:59,586
Why don't you just tell
that poor girl the truth?

765
00:31:59,670 --> 00:32:00,754
You know?

766
00:32:00,838 --> 00:32:02,464
Our mother tells us everything.

767
00:32:02,548 --> 00:32:03,882
Wedding ring boy.

768
00:32:03,966 --> 00:32:05,133
What? Oh, my goodness!

769
00:32:05,217 --> 00:32:08,136
Did you see gossip girl
last night? It was so good!

770
00:32:08,220 --> 00:32:10,097
No, she's not like that.

771
00:32:10,180 --> 00:32:12,432
Your mother's presenting
her in a weird, weird way.

772
00:32:12,474 --> 00:32:13,600
I'm just saying,
telling the truth

773
00:32:13,642 --> 00:32:15,143
is not in the cards right now.

774
00:32:15,269 --> 00:32:17,646
I thought you'd be excited
to have an acting job.

775
00:32:17,771 --> 00:32:19,982
If it's an acting job,
we should get paid.

776
00:32:20,107 --> 00:32:22,484
Yeah, you're gonna get
paid in experience.

777
00:32:22,609 --> 00:32:24,444
I wanna actually get paid.

778
00:32:24,528 --> 00:32:25,487
(Chuckles)

779
00:32:25,612 --> 00:32:26,905
All right, what do you want?

780
00:32:27,114 --> 00:32:28,949
$600 for the day,

781
00:32:29,032 --> 00:32:31,410
plus overtime if we
go over eight hours.

782
00:32:31,493 --> 00:32:33,036
I'll do my own hair and makeup.

783
00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:36,123
And I want you to pay for the
six-week intensive acting camp

784
00:32:36,164 --> 00:32:37,541
that my mom can't afford.

785
00:32:38,292 --> 00:32:42,546
$50 for the day and a two-week acting
class at the ymca nearest you.

786
00:32:42,963 --> 00:32:45,132
$500 and a four-
week acting class.

787
00:32:45,340 --> 00:32:47,676
$300 and a three-week class.

788
00:32:47,968 --> 00:32:49,011
Done.

789
00:32:50,470 --> 00:32:52,431
I would have done it for $500.

790
00:32:52,598 --> 00:32:54,558
(Scoffs) I would have done
it for the experience.

791
00:32:57,311 --> 00:32:59,605
Michael, you're up. Opener?

792
00:32:59,771 --> 00:33:01,481
I want you to take me to Hawaii

793
00:33:01,523 --> 00:33:03,525
so I can swim with the dolphins.

794
00:33:03,692 --> 00:33:05,360
You're not gonna let
that one go, are you?

795
00:33:05,611 --> 00:33:07,613
We're not going to Hawaii,
pal. Anything else?

796
00:33:07,696 --> 00:33:09,740
Find someone else then.

797
00:33:15,871 --> 00:33:19,750
Ooh, the mafia stare down.
Very good, Michael.

798
00:33:19,875 --> 00:33:21,168
We're here to negotiate.

799
00:33:21,251 --> 00:33:23,045
Do you have anything
else you might like?

800
00:33:23,754 --> 00:33:25,088
I want a flying pony.

801
00:33:25,172 --> 00:33:27,674
I want a flying pony too,
Michael, but they don't exist.

802
00:33:28,383 --> 00:33:31,428
Then I want a regular pony. And
I want to name him Nelson.

803
00:33:31,762 --> 00:33:34,556
How about a PlayStation 3
and we name him Nelson?

804
00:33:35,390 --> 00:33:36,433
Keep talking.

805
00:33:36,683 --> 00:33:38,560
We'll include four video games.

806
00:33:38,602 --> 00:33:39,686
Five games.

807
00:33:39,770 --> 00:33:43,440
And I want the meeting with blondie
to be at j.D. Mcfunnigan's.

808
00:33:43,565 --> 00:33:44,691
How 'bout Charlie choo-choo's

809
00:33:44,775 --> 00:33:45,943
'cause it's right down
the street from me.

810
00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:48,862
Mention that slop-hole
again and I walk.

811
00:33:48,946 --> 00:33:51,365
All right, take it easy,
son. Take it easy.

812
00:33:51,657 --> 00:33:53,659
And I want unlimited tokens.

813
00:33:53,742 --> 00:33:56,203
If I can spend 'em,
I wanna have 'em.

814
00:33:56,286 --> 00:33:58,038
I don't wanna be like
playing skee-ball

815
00:33:58,080 --> 00:33:59,790
and all of a sudden
run out of tokens.

816
00:34:00,457 --> 00:34:02,501
All right, I can
make that happen.

817
00:34:02,584 --> 00:34:04,086
So do we have a deal?

818
00:34:05,671 --> 00:34:06,880
(Imitates smoking)

819
00:34:07,256 --> 00:34:08,340
Deal.

820
00:34:08,590 --> 00:34:10,968
Deal's off unless you eat that
pizza, though. Seriously.

821
00:34:14,346 --> 00:34:15,806
Can I do an accent?

822
00:34:15,889 --> 00:34:17,474
Let me hear some. 'Ello!

823
00:34:17,599 --> 00:34:19,059
No. Okay.

824
00:34:19,476 --> 00:34:22,104
My kids? Have you
completely lost your mind?

825
00:34:22,187 --> 00:34:23,897
Are you kidding me right now?

826
00:34:23,981 --> 00:34:25,649
You're the one who picked
up your cell phone.

827
00:34:26,108 --> 00:34:27,150
That is not...

828
00:34:27,276 --> 00:34:28,443
Mrs. harrington...

829
00:34:29,945 --> 00:34:31,572
The doctor will see you now.

830
00:34:32,990 --> 00:34:35,492
I can't believe you're doing all
of this just so you can get some.

831
00:34:35,576 --> 00:34:37,327
It's just gross.
You're just pathetic.

832
00:34:37,411 --> 00:34:39,788
I'm not trying to get
some. I already got some.

833
00:34:39,872 --> 00:34:41,707
And yes, I'd like to
continue getting some.

834
00:34:41,790 --> 00:34:43,292
I'm pro me getting some.

835
00:34:43,375 --> 00:34:44,585
Have a seat right
there, Mrs. harrington.

836
00:34:44,668 --> 00:34:46,378
Remove your shirt, if you could.

837
00:34:47,171 --> 00:34:51,008
I smell something.
You smell something?

838
00:34:51,049 --> 00:34:52,426
I smell perfume.

839
00:34:55,220 --> 00:34:56,471
Is that coming from you?

840
00:34:56,847 --> 00:34:58,056
(Stuttering)

841
00:34:58,473 --> 00:34:59,600
Maybe.

842
00:35:00,142 --> 00:35:01,476
What, you got a
date or something?

843
00:35:01,685 --> 00:35:04,313
I don't have a date.
I have a lunch.

844
00:35:04,605 --> 00:35:06,607
You got a lunch? Who
you got a lunch with?

845
00:35:07,316 --> 00:35:10,027
Dr. gervitz's office manager,
if you must know everything.

846
00:35:10,152 --> 00:35:11,153
His name is Brian.

847
00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:13,030
The guy with the
gray soul patch?

848
00:35:13,197 --> 00:35:14,448
You know what?

849
00:35:14,531 --> 00:35:15,991
Hey, man, I'm Brian.

850
00:35:16,033 --> 00:35:17,075
You're mean!

851
00:35:17,159 --> 00:35:18,368
Wow, you wanna go
to lunch sometime?

852
00:35:18,452 --> 00:35:20,537
Is he gonna take you there
right after the big protest?

853
00:35:20,621 --> 00:35:22,998
Hey, man, we gotta
stop these squirrels.

854
00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:24,124
(Laughing)

855
00:35:25,375 --> 00:35:26,877
He plays bass, don't he?

856
00:35:27,252 --> 00:35:28,212
(Mimicking bass guitar)

857
00:35:28,295 --> 00:35:29,421
(Clears throat)

858
00:35:29,463 --> 00:35:30,839
You can take the
brassiere off, too.

859
00:35:31,298 --> 00:35:33,300
And by the way, he
does play the bass.

860
00:35:33,342 --> 00:35:35,177
And he writes songs.

861
00:35:35,344 --> 00:35:36,470
What does he write songs about,

862
00:35:36,553 --> 00:35:37,804
how bad his ponytail stinks?

863
00:35:37,971 --> 00:35:40,641
Mrs. harrington, could you put
your hands on your hips, please?

864
00:35:40,807 --> 00:35:43,644
Okay, so, one of the funbags
is not having too much fun.

865
00:35:43,810 --> 00:35:45,187
All right, what
happened anyways?

866
00:35:45,270 --> 00:35:48,065
Well, I hit it with the car
door yesterday... right.

867
00:35:48,190 --> 00:35:49,233
And I heard a pop

868
00:35:49,316 --> 00:35:52,361
and then some sloshing
sound when I walk.

869
00:35:52,569 --> 00:35:54,863
(Cell phone buzzing)
Yeah. I think.

870
00:35:58,659 --> 00:35:59,743
What are you doing?

871
00:36:00,077 --> 00:36:02,704
Could be the kids
or could be Brian.

872
00:36:02,788 --> 00:36:04,039
Okay. Stop that.

873
00:36:04,081 --> 00:36:05,165
Do you mind just for one second?

874
00:36:05,249 --> 00:36:06,333
Let me just talk to this guy.

875
00:36:06,708 --> 00:36:07,918
(Exclaims) Stop!

876
00:36:09,169 --> 00:36:10,420
Yeah.

877
00:36:10,879 --> 00:36:12,756
Hello? Yeah, man!

878
00:36:13,423 --> 00:36:14,758
Brian? You can lie down.

879
00:36:14,842 --> 00:36:17,427
Yeah, hi! We sure are.

880
00:36:17,845 --> 00:36:20,180
Yeah, no, Sushi would be groovy.

881
00:36:20,264 --> 00:36:21,890
Okay, I'll see you at
1:00 in the lobby.

882
00:36:21,974 --> 00:36:23,433
Okay, bye.

883
00:36:27,688 --> 00:36:29,022
What voice was that?

884
00:36:29,439 --> 00:36:30,440
That was my voice.

885
00:36:30,691 --> 00:36:31,900
Really?

886
00:36:32,025 --> 00:36:33,318
(Speaking in high-pitched voice)

887
00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:35,028
I didn't sound like that.

888
00:36:35,070 --> 00:36:36,280
(Mimicking) One o'clock...

889
00:36:36,613 --> 00:36:38,532
You're excited about
this guy, huh?

890
00:36:38,907 --> 00:36:41,451
Mrs. harrington, this is numbing
cream for your nipples, okay?

891
00:36:41,577 --> 00:36:42,744
Oh. Oh, okay.

892
00:36:43,120 --> 00:36:44,454
It's gonna be one afternoon.

893
00:36:44,538 --> 00:36:45,956
Why are we making such a
big deal out of this?

894
00:36:46,039 --> 00:36:48,208
Because you know what? You're
trying to get my kids involved

895
00:36:48,292 --> 00:36:52,629
in your dysfunctional, sick little,
pathetic, twisted web of lies.

896
00:36:52,754 --> 00:36:54,423
When I was negotiating
with your son, Michael,

897
00:36:54,506 --> 00:36:57,426
he had the biggest smile I've
ever seen on anyone's face.

898
00:36:57,926 --> 00:37:00,220
When I told him we could do
it at j.D. Mcfunnigan's,

899
00:37:00,304 --> 00:37:01,680
the kid looked like he
won the heisman trophy,

900
00:37:01,722 --> 00:37:03,223
I'm not kidding you.

901
00:37:03,432 --> 00:37:04,850
I think that's enough.
Do you feel that?

902
00:37:04,933 --> 00:37:05,976
No.

903
00:37:06,059 --> 00:37:07,102
No, but do you feel that?

904
00:37:07,561 --> 00:37:09,271
No. We're good.

905
00:37:09,438 --> 00:37:11,440
By the way, did you make this?

906
00:37:11,523 --> 00:37:12,649
Mmm-hmm.

907
00:37:12,733 --> 00:37:14,484
We'll have to give it
to the Smithsonian

908
00:37:14,568 --> 00:37:16,653
when we've done the
operation. Terrific job.

909
00:37:17,279 --> 00:37:18,488
Did he really smile?

910
00:37:18,697 --> 00:37:20,490
Swear to god, like the
cutest little smile.

911
00:37:21,283 --> 00:37:22,951
And I got Maggie to eat.

912
00:37:23,660 --> 00:37:24,828
You did? Yeah.

913
00:37:25,162 --> 00:37:26,955
Pizza. Deep dish. Three pieces.

914
00:37:27,164 --> 00:37:28,582
I can't get her to eat anything.

915
00:37:28,665 --> 00:37:31,543
I know you can't.
Don't do this for me.

916
00:37:32,836 --> 00:37:34,171
Do it for the children.

917
00:37:36,173 --> 00:37:37,716
Yeah! Oh, stop!

918
00:37:38,842 --> 00:37:40,219
Come on, you're late!

919
00:37:40,260 --> 00:37:41,720
What are you, in
character right away?

920
00:37:41,803 --> 00:37:43,013
Come on, let's go!

921
00:37:43,305 --> 00:37:44,848
She's inside.

922
00:37:45,766 --> 00:37:46,767
(Groans)

923
00:37:46,975 --> 00:37:48,143
What is that?

924
00:37:48,685 --> 00:37:49,686
What?

925
00:37:49,895 --> 00:37:52,481
Did Victoria Beckham have a yard
sale? Why are you wearing that?

926
00:37:52,940 --> 00:37:54,066
Are you kidding me?

927
00:37:54,149 --> 00:37:55,442
This is what you bought for me.

928
00:37:55,526 --> 00:37:57,110
I know, I know. I'm
just saying is it...

929
00:37:57,194 --> 00:37:58,320
All right, we're stuck with it,

930
00:37:58,362 --> 00:37:59,530
I just think it's a little
over the top, but...

931
00:37:59,655 --> 00:38:01,532
Thanks. Happy to be
here to help you.

932
00:38:01,615 --> 00:38:05,494
The first rule of improv is
always accept the information.

933
00:38:05,661 --> 00:38:07,538
If someone says something,
just go with it.

934
00:38:07,621 --> 00:38:08,747
No negating.

935
00:38:08,997 --> 00:38:10,624
Gotcha. That sounds
good, that's smart.

936
00:38:10,707 --> 00:38:13,168
In my acting class, when
someone says "no" in a scene,

937
00:38:13,293 --> 00:38:14,711
the whole class yells, "die!"

938
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:16,713
No. I mean, no one
will say "no" then.

939
00:38:16,797 --> 00:38:17,840
Don't yell "die."

940
00:38:18,048 --> 00:38:19,383
Who's up for some
warm-up exercises?

941
00:38:19,508 --> 00:38:21,301
No, honey, I'm not gonna
do that. The what?

942
00:38:21,510 --> 00:38:22,886
The tip of the tongue,
the teeth, the lips.

943
00:38:22,970 --> 00:38:24,680
The tip of the tongue,
the teeth, the lips.

944
00:38:24,763 --> 00:38:26,181
(Gibberish)

945
00:38:26,890 --> 00:38:29,685
I got one for you.
Shut up! (Sighs)

946
00:38:29,768 --> 00:38:32,229
All right, let's go already.
Are you ready there, mafia?

947
00:38:32,563 --> 00:38:34,273
Hell, yeah. Let's do it!

948
00:38:34,606 --> 00:38:36,400
(Upbeat music playing)

949
00:39:08,348 --> 00:39:09,975
(Kids shrieking)

950
00:39:13,604 --> 00:39:15,189
(Screaming)

951
00:39:17,858 --> 00:39:19,318
Stinks.

952
00:39:19,693 --> 00:39:24,323
Smells like kids' feet and
like skidmark underwear.

953
00:39:24,406 --> 00:39:26,283
Mmm. Happy father's day.

954
00:39:27,868 --> 00:39:30,078
Danny: Oh! Jeez!

955
00:39:30,329 --> 00:39:31,580
(Screaming)

956
00:39:31,663 --> 00:39:35,459
Mommy! That man put his
pee-pee on my face!

957
00:39:35,626 --> 00:39:36,752
What?

958
00:39:37,753 --> 00:39:41,048
He put his face on
my pee-pee. Danny!

959
00:39:41,215 --> 00:39:43,342
I'm saying he's the one. I
don't think it matters.

960
00:39:43,509 --> 00:39:44,551
No, I get you.

961
00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:46,470
Oh, oh! Palmer, darling.

962
00:39:46,678 --> 00:39:47,721
Hi.

963
00:39:48,180 --> 00:39:50,974
Devlin. Thank you so much for
bringing the kids today.

964
00:39:51,058 --> 00:39:52,935
I don't think she was the
only one who brought them.

965
00:39:53,018 --> 00:39:56,480
You know what I'm saying?
They are my pride and joy.

966
00:39:56,605 --> 00:40:00,651
So I'd like to introduce
you to, the one and only,

967
00:40:00,734 --> 00:40:04,613
kiki Dee, who came out at
nine pounds four ounces.

968
00:40:04,696 --> 00:40:05,739
Yeouch.

969
00:40:05,948 --> 00:40:07,866
And then the whopper,
we call him, Bart,

970
00:40:07,950 --> 00:40:10,869
because he was a 12-pounder
and did some damage.

971
00:40:10,994 --> 00:40:12,496
Okay. So...

972
00:40:13,413 --> 00:40:14,665
Hi, you guys.

973
00:40:14,831 --> 00:40:15,999
(In English accent)
Hello, Palmer.

974
00:40:16,041 --> 00:40:17,584
Heard so much about you.

975
00:40:19,545 --> 00:40:20,671
You're British?

976
00:40:20,879 --> 00:40:24,466
So you're the bird what's been given
daddy the ol' slap and tickle?

977
00:40:26,385 --> 00:40:30,514
We sent her to boarding
school last year in england.

978
00:40:31,056 --> 00:40:33,392
See? So she picked
up a slight accent.

979
00:40:33,475 --> 00:40:35,477
It's, you know, very Madonna.

980
00:40:35,853 --> 00:40:38,105
Well, it is a pleasure
meeting you, kiki Dee.

981
00:40:38,605 --> 00:40:40,190
Wish I could say the same.

982
00:40:40,399 --> 00:40:43,735
You see, before you, I
had meself a father.

983
00:40:44,027 --> 00:40:45,737
I was the apple of his eye.

984
00:40:45,821 --> 00:40:48,323
It was all giggling and
chasing butterflies

985
00:40:48,407 --> 00:40:50,200
in the meadows, and
what have you.

986
00:40:50,826 --> 00:40:52,077
And now what do I got?

987
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:54,037
An hour and a half
every other week

988
00:40:54,121 --> 00:40:58,584
at j.D. Mcfunnigan's
with him and his whore.

989
00:40:59,293 --> 00:41:00,836
Koko! Kiki! Kiki!

990
00:41:01,211 --> 00:41:02,546
(Crying)

991
00:41:03,714 --> 00:41:05,549
God, she's in such pain.

992
00:41:05,674 --> 00:41:07,384
No, that's the pills that...

993
00:41:07,467 --> 00:41:08,677
She took some out of
her mother's bureau.

994
00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:09,803
Are you...

995
00:41:09,970 --> 00:41:11,471
All right, let me go see her.

996
00:41:13,557 --> 00:41:15,184
How are you doing, sweetie?

997
00:41:15,267 --> 00:41:18,520
I'll be better when I
start seeing some tokens.

998
00:41:19,813 --> 00:41:21,190
He's American.

999
00:41:22,774 --> 00:41:25,569
Excuse me. Yo! What
was that all about?

1000
00:41:25,777 --> 00:41:28,697
That was raw and real
and in the moment.

1001
00:41:28,780 --> 00:41:30,115
You know, I feel
very good about it.

1002
00:41:30,240 --> 00:41:31,825
You do? Well, I don't!

1003
00:41:31,909 --> 00:41:34,620
So if you wanna get your money
and your acting classes,

1004
00:41:34,703 --> 00:41:37,497
you better start doing
things right from now on.

1005
00:41:37,581 --> 00:41:39,041
No more sob stories.

1006
00:41:39,082 --> 00:41:41,335
And we're stuck with the
English accent now, Ringo,

1007
00:41:41,418 --> 00:41:43,378
so commit to it.
Don't choke, got it?

1008
00:41:43,462 --> 00:41:44,546
Got it.

1009
00:41:44,630 --> 00:41:46,632
Now hug me and laugh

1010
00:41:46,715 --> 00:41:48,550
and let's get back
into the show.

1011
00:41:48,634 --> 00:41:51,261
Okay. Papa!

1012
00:41:53,764 --> 00:41:56,058
You're not a whore, Palmer.

1013
00:41:56,141 --> 00:41:57,226
Okay.

1014
00:41:57,309 --> 00:41:59,061
That's so nice. See what
they do, they fight,

1015
00:41:59,144 --> 00:42:00,395
then they make up and it's good.

1016
00:42:00,521 --> 00:42:01,813
Good. We're doing good.

1017
00:42:01,897 --> 00:42:04,608
(Sneezes) Are you kidding me?

1018
00:42:05,067 --> 00:42:08,904
Got a hamburger here for
Bart, art the water fart.

1019
00:42:08,987 --> 00:42:10,030
Here you go, kid.

1020
00:42:10,072 --> 00:42:11,281
Look at that, sweet!

1021
00:42:11,406 --> 00:42:15,786
And two quesadillas for kiki
sneaky with a side of freaky.

1022
00:42:17,079 --> 00:42:19,081
Here's the waters.
No soda for you.

1023
00:42:19,164 --> 00:42:21,750
You're battling diabetes,
remember? Huh?

1024
00:42:22,751 --> 00:42:24,127
Kiki Dee?

1025
00:42:24,294 --> 00:42:28,090
I got you two quesadillas 'cause it's
your favorite food so you have to eat it.

1026
00:42:29,216 --> 00:42:33,804
Well, yes! And that's why I'm going
to eat every single bit of it.

1027
00:42:34,179 --> 00:42:35,722
All right, let's see.

1028
00:42:38,517 --> 00:42:39,601
Yummy!

1029
00:42:39,768 --> 00:42:40,811
(Mouthing) Thank you.

1030
00:42:41,061 --> 00:42:42,813
Hey, I think we forgot napkins.

1031
00:42:43,105 --> 00:42:44,982
We did? Okay. Well let
me get the napkins.

1032
00:42:45,107 --> 00:42:46,650
Because I know she's not
gonna get up and do it

1033
00:42:46,733 --> 00:42:48,277
because she doesn't like
to get up and do anything.

1034
00:42:48,402 --> 00:42:49,486
Oh, nice.

1035
00:42:49,695 --> 00:42:51,154
Everybody be cool.

1036
00:42:52,531 --> 00:42:56,869
So, Bart, your dad tells me you
like to go to the bathroom.

1037
00:42:57,494 --> 00:42:59,872
When I feel it, I do it.

1038
00:43:00,789 --> 00:43:02,332
What else do you like?

1039
00:43:02,583 --> 00:43:03,959
I don't know.

1040
00:43:05,502 --> 00:43:06,628
That's our Bart.

1041
00:43:06,712 --> 00:43:08,672
He's a man of very few words.

1042
00:43:09,298 --> 00:43:10,757
Ah. Okay.

1043
00:43:11,341 --> 00:43:12,801
Maybe I'm upset.

1044
00:43:13,844 --> 00:43:15,512
Upset about me and
your father dating?

1045
00:43:15,721 --> 00:43:20,267
No. You seem to make my dad
happy and that's cool, but...

1046
00:43:21,101 --> 00:43:22,227
But what?

1047
00:43:23,478 --> 00:43:24,605
Nothing.

1048
00:43:24,771 --> 00:43:25,772
Hey, I want you to
feel comfortable

1049
00:43:25,856 --> 00:43:27,024
telling me anything.

1050
00:43:27,900 --> 00:43:30,444
Well, I just hate that he
broke his promise to me.

1051
00:43:30,611 --> 00:43:31,695
What promise?

1052
00:43:31,778 --> 00:43:33,071
Yeah, what promise?

1053
00:43:33,238 --> 00:43:36,074
He promised me last year that
he would take me to Hawaii

1054
00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:37,201
to swim with the dolphins.

1055
00:43:37,576 --> 00:43:39,703
They have this lagoon
there with dolphins

1056
00:43:39,786 --> 00:43:41,163
and people get to
swim with them.

1057
00:43:41,288 --> 00:43:42,331
What are you doing?

1058
00:43:42,414 --> 00:43:45,125
But without warning, my
dad canceled the trip.

1059
00:43:45,459 --> 00:43:46,877
Why would he do that?

1060
00:43:47,211 --> 00:43:48,962
(Fakes crying) He met you.

1061
00:43:50,297 --> 00:43:51,465
He what?

1062
00:43:51,673 --> 00:43:53,467
No! Die!

1063
00:43:53,675 --> 00:43:56,678
No, no, no, no, no, no! I'm
saying that did not...

1064
00:43:57,095 --> 00:43:59,056
You misread what I said.

1065
00:43:59,139 --> 00:44:02,017
I said we have to go
to Hawaii earlier.

1066
00:44:02,351 --> 00:44:05,354
Because I'm excited for all
of us to hang out there.

1067
00:44:05,437 --> 00:44:06,480
We're going to Hawaii!

1068
00:44:16,198 --> 00:44:19,326
I can't believe I let a
six-year-old blackmail me.

1069
00:44:19,868 --> 00:44:21,787
I saw my shot and I took it.

1070
00:44:22,120 --> 00:44:23,080
You're angry at yourself

1071
00:44:23,163 --> 00:44:24,748
'cause you got us into
this whole situation.

1072
00:44:24,873 --> 00:44:26,041
I did? You really did.

1073
00:44:26,166 --> 00:44:27,918
I think old Mary
poppins with the,

1074
00:44:28,001 --> 00:44:30,587
"you can't say no. You
can't say no, guv'nor."

1075
00:44:30,754 --> 00:44:32,506
Okay, listen, my tolerance

1076
00:44:32,589 --> 00:44:34,800
for these continued
shenanigans is right here.

1077
00:44:34,925 --> 00:44:37,261
And if it gets up to here,
I'm taking my kids,

1078
00:44:37,344 --> 00:44:39,179
I'm selling you out
and I'm going home.

1079
00:44:39,555 --> 00:44:42,933
I am so happy we are
doing this, Danny.

1080
00:44:43,016 --> 00:44:44,601
Are you kidding me?
We're going to Hawaii,

1081
00:44:44,685 --> 00:44:46,270
we're gonna swim with dolphins.

1082
00:44:46,395 --> 00:44:48,021
It's gonna be so much fun. I
was just telling the squirt.

1083
00:44:48,105 --> 00:44:49,565
And seventeen magazine.

1084
00:44:49,690 --> 00:44:51,400
You brought that for these
guys or is that for you?

1085
00:44:51,441 --> 00:44:53,026
It's mine. It's my favorite.

1086
00:44:53,110 --> 00:44:54,945
See that? Did you ever
read that magazine?

1087
00:44:55,028 --> 00:44:56,238
Thirty years ago you did.

1088
00:44:56,905 --> 00:44:59,950
And hopefully we're gonna have
time together, right, sweetie?

1089
00:45:00,075 --> 00:45:01,910
Eddie: Wait! Wait!

1090
00:45:02,119 --> 00:45:03,704
(Exclaiming in German)

1091
00:45:03,787 --> 00:45:05,455
Danny, wait!

1092
00:45:09,918 --> 00:45:13,630
Muffinstein, I could not
stand to be without you.

1093
00:45:13,714 --> 00:45:14,882
(Muffled groan) Uh-oh!

1094
00:45:14,965 --> 00:45:16,008
Is this him?

1095
00:45:16,091 --> 00:45:18,677
I see the colonel Von generous
right here in front of me.

1096
00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:20,345
Okay, I'm confused right now.

1097
00:45:20,637 --> 00:45:22,598
I'm so sorry. I've not
introduced myself,

1098
00:45:22,639 --> 00:45:26,143
we have talked on the phone,
but I am the dolph lundgren.

1099
00:45:27,561 --> 00:45:29,646
Devlin's man-friendl
love monkey.

1100
00:45:29,813 --> 00:45:30,898
Oh, kill me now.

1101
00:45:30,981 --> 00:45:32,900
Devlin said you had to
stay back and work.

1102
00:45:33,108 --> 00:45:34,484
I did. She what said?

1103
00:45:34,693 --> 00:45:37,029
Nein, nein to the work.

1104
00:45:37,112 --> 00:45:38,822
I will work when I am kaput.

1105
00:45:39,031 --> 00:45:40,490
You know, I think
this is so great

1106
00:45:40,574 --> 00:45:42,117
of all of you, so mature.

1107
00:45:42,159 --> 00:45:44,161
I would have loved if my parents
had done something like this

1108
00:45:44,244 --> 00:45:45,662
when they got divorced.

1109
00:45:45,787 --> 00:45:47,998
That's why I was thinking we
should have the man come.

1110
00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:49,708
Yeah, I'm glad. I'm glad.

1111
00:45:49,875 --> 00:45:51,710
It's important for the children

1112
00:45:51,793 --> 00:45:53,879
to see us as a unit.

1113
00:45:53,962 --> 00:45:55,881
And also I cannot stay away
from this potato pancake.

1114
00:45:56,006 --> 00:45:58,675
She loves the schnitzel,
you know what I mean?

1115
00:46:00,928 --> 00:46:02,304
(Groans)

1116
00:46:02,387 --> 00:46:04,264
You know what? Tongue
feels a little dry.

1117
00:46:04,348 --> 00:46:06,683
Let's go get you some water,
honey. We'll be back.

1118
00:46:06,808 --> 00:46:08,310
That's a big tongue, big tongue.

1119
00:46:08,393 --> 00:46:10,729
Get over here, get
over here. Ew!

1120
00:46:10,812 --> 00:46:11,855
What are you doing here?

1121
00:46:11,939 --> 00:46:14,107
I don't know, saving the
day. Helping. Hello?

1122
00:46:14,191 --> 00:46:16,026
Who are you talking to?
What are you looking at?

1123
00:46:16,693 --> 00:46:17,945
I can't see in these things.

1124
00:46:18,028 --> 00:46:19,112
This is what you're gonna do.

1125
00:46:19,196 --> 00:46:21,949
You're gonna tell them that you ate a
bad Sauerkraut omelet for breakfast

1126
00:46:22,032 --> 00:46:24,326
and that you are feeling like
you're sick and that you gotta go.

1127
00:46:24,409 --> 00:46:26,119
Katherine, I can't
go. Okay? Why?

1128
00:46:26,203 --> 00:46:29,831
Because I texted a picture of my
new equipment to my ex-girlfriend.

1129
00:46:29,915 --> 00:46:30,958
Oh, you're disgusting.

1130
00:46:31,041 --> 00:46:32,835
And I forgot she's engaged
to a ufc fighter.

1131
00:46:32,918 --> 00:46:34,753
He wants to punch
me in the face.

1132
00:46:34,920 --> 00:46:36,421
I wanna punch you in the face.

1133
00:46:36,505 --> 00:46:37,631
Hey, guys, how we doing?

1134
00:46:37,714 --> 00:46:39,383
(Exclaims in German)

1135
00:46:39,466 --> 00:46:42,386
I am just waiting for the
money for the ticket.

1136
00:46:42,469 --> 00:46:44,763
Mmm-hmm. So you are
coming? And I am paying?

1137
00:46:44,930 --> 00:46:47,182
Yes. Dolph has zero dollars.

1138
00:46:47,266 --> 00:46:48,308
Whoops! Okay.

1139
00:46:49,393 --> 00:46:50,978
Let me see if I can
find my credit card.

1140
00:46:51,061 --> 00:46:52,104
Oh, here it is.

1141
00:46:53,480 --> 00:46:55,190
That's for sleeping
with my wife, pal.

1142
00:46:55,816 --> 00:46:57,276
(Pop music playing)

1143
00:47:09,121 --> 00:47:11,081
There you go. Thank you.

1144
00:47:11,290 --> 00:47:12,374
Hey, hey!

1145
00:47:12,457 --> 00:47:14,168
Didn't have time to
make any reservations,

1146
00:47:14,251 --> 00:47:15,544
but I need two rooms, please.

1147
00:47:15,627 --> 00:47:16,795
Oh, of course.

1148
00:47:16,879 --> 00:47:18,755
Unfortunately, we only
have our suites left.

1149
00:47:18,922 --> 00:47:20,048
Oh, boy.

1150
00:47:20,132 --> 00:47:22,718
The Waldorf astoria
at $8,000 per night

1151
00:47:22,759 --> 00:47:24,678
and the presidential at $12,000.

1152
00:47:24,761 --> 00:47:26,346
$12,000 a night? Mmm-hmm.

1153
00:47:26,430 --> 00:47:28,307
Do the rolling stones come and
play for me while I'm in there?

1154
00:47:28,390 --> 00:47:30,184
What the hell are you talking
about? Why is it so much?

1155
00:47:30,267 --> 00:47:31,351
Is it made out of panda?

1156
00:47:31,435 --> 00:47:32,769
I've used that somewhere
else, but is it?

1157
00:47:33,353 --> 00:47:35,647
No, but you've made some
terrific suggestions

1158
00:47:35,772 --> 00:47:37,065
and I'm gonna jot them down.

1159
00:47:37,149 --> 00:47:39,401
Are you a member of the Hilton
honors rewards program?

1160
00:47:39,443 --> 00:47:40,485
No, I'm not.

1161
00:47:40,652 --> 00:47:42,779
Oh. That's too bad.
You should join.

1162
00:47:42,863 --> 00:47:44,072
Yeah.

1163
00:47:44,656 --> 00:47:45,866
Yay!

1164
00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:50,037
Just got reamed. I
mean, I got the rooms.

1165
00:47:50,579 --> 00:47:51,788
Who wants to go to the beach?

1166
00:47:51,872 --> 00:47:53,123
Me!

1167
00:47:53,332 --> 00:47:54,625
Who wants to start drinking?

1168
00:47:54,791 --> 00:47:56,502
Both: Me!

1169
00:47:57,336 --> 00:47:58,921
(Pop music playing)

1170
00:48:12,684 --> 00:48:14,102
Okay, yeah,

1171
00:48:14,186 --> 00:48:17,022
I would create a fake family
for that. Oh, my god!

1172
00:48:17,147 --> 00:48:18,774
You know what?
You're disgusting.

1173
00:48:19,066 --> 00:48:20,901
Mumsy, please do come in.

1174
00:48:20,943 --> 00:48:23,362
The water's as lovely
as westminster in may.

1175
00:48:23,529 --> 00:48:24,738
No, honey, I'm good.

1176
00:48:24,821 --> 00:48:26,240
I don't really feel like
swimming right now.

1177
00:48:26,365 --> 00:48:28,659
What is this from, my liebchen?

1178
00:48:28,742 --> 00:48:31,286
Don't you be intimidated by
her whole thing right there,

1179
00:48:31,370 --> 00:48:32,663
which is perfect.

1180
00:48:32,746 --> 00:48:34,957
Oh, come on. Like
she's intimidated.

1181
00:48:34,998 --> 00:48:37,042
I hope when I'm her
age I look that good.

1182
00:48:37,167 --> 00:48:38,210
Yes, right?

1183
00:48:38,418 --> 00:48:39,962
You can look that good

1184
00:48:40,170 --> 00:48:42,381
if you don't take the elevators

1185
00:48:42,422 --> 00:48:45,425
and only take the
stairs like Cary Grant.

1186
00:48:47,052 --> 00:48:49,888
Take the stairs.
Take the stairs.

1187
00:48:51,223 --> 00:48:52,850
Eddie: Hey, why are
we stopped here?

1188
00:48:53,016 --> 00:48:54,101
Uh, what's the matter?

1189
00:48:54,184 --> 00:48:55,561
I can't look at
engagement rings?

1190
00:48:55,686 --> 00:48:57,521
Engagement rings?
Yeah, you heard me.

1191
00:48:57,729 --> 00:49:00,274
Look all you want, but
you and I both know that

1192
00:49:00,440 --> 00:49:01,483
you're gonna get
sick of this hottie

1193
00:49:01,525 --> 00:49:03,318
and you're gonna be back
on the prowl next week.

1194
00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:05,279
Nope. I'm telling you,
is this girl not cute?

1195
00:49:05,404 --> 00:49:06,530
Yeah, she's really cute.

1196
00:49:06,572 --> 00:49:07,698
Is she not the sweetest?

1197
00:49:07,781 --> 00:49:08,866
The nicest person I've ever met.

1198
00:49:09,032 --> 00:49:10,409
Did you ever see her lips?

1199
00:49:10,576 --> 00:49:11,952
I think she has the best
lips I've ever seen.

1200
00:49:12,035 --> 00:49:14,246
They're like an inner tube
and I just wanna sit on it.

1201
00:49:14,413 --> 00:49:15,747
You know what I mean?
And just, like...

1202
00:49:16,081 --> 00:49:17,583
Do you want me to
knock you out, or...

1203
00:49:18,083 --> 00:49:20,586
No, I'm saying you
should sit on her lips.

1204
00:49:20,794 --> 00:49:21,920
Anyways...

1205
00:49:22,045 --> 00:49:24,715
You know, this whole situation
reminds me of a song.

1206
00:49:24,882 --> 00:49:27,634
Danny is a big plastic surgeon

1207
00:49:27,759 --> 00:49:30,262
who never had time for a wife

1208
00:49:30,554 --> 00:49:33,682
and he's friends with Davy
who's still in the Navy

1209
00:49:33,891 --> 00:49:35,601
piano man? Why piano man?

1210
00:49:35,726 --> 00:49:37,019
No, it's "piano Dan."

1211
00:49:37,102 --> 00:49:38,729
That's based on your life.
It's a little Eddie remix.

1212
00:49:38,979 --> 00:49:39,980
Uh-huh.

1213
00:49:40,063 --> 00:49:44,318
Eddie used to have an afro and
pimples all over his face

1214
00:49:44,568 --> 00:49:47,696
so he popped and he poked 'em
and clearasil soaked 'em

1215
00:49:47,779 --> 00:49:49,823
but ladies still
greet him with mace

1216
00:49:49,907 --> 00:49:51,074
(blowing raspberry)

1217
00:49:51,909 --> 00:49:53,285
I was maced one time.

1218
00:49:53,452 --> 00:49:55,037
Five times.

1219
00:49:55,329 --> 00:49:56,622
(People cheering)

1220
00:49:58,749 --> 00:50:01,585
So, guys, we're here to get
to know each other better.

1221
00:50:01,668 --> 00:50:02,753
Yes. Yeah.

1222
00:50:02,836 --> 00:50:04,296
Dolph, let's start with you.

1223
00:50:04,463 --> 00:50:06,131
So, what line of
work are you in?

1224
00:50:06,340 --> 00:50:10,093
Well, Palmer, I am in sheep.

1225
00:50:11,678 --> 00:50:13,263
I'm sorry. I don't
know what you mean.

1226
00:50:13,722 --> 00:50:16,892
I am a sheep shipper.

1227
00:50:17,309 --> 00:50:18,435
Oh. Yes.

1228
00:50:18,519 --> 00:50:20,646
You know, people, they
don't buy the sheep

1229
00:50:20,771 --> 00:50:22,314
from the local
sheepherder anymore.

1230
00:50:22,814 --> 00:50:24,358
Really? They don't?

1231
00:50:24,483 --> 00:50:27,986
No, they don't. They go online!

1232
00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:29,947
Yes! They go on the interweb,

1233
00:50:30,155 --> 00:50:34,409
to my website,
gotprettysheep.Com.

1234
00:50:34,493 --> 00:50:36,078
And leave this,
please. Thank you.

1235
00:50:36,161 --> 00:50:38,330
Now, people go on. They see
the pictures of the sheep,

1236
00:50:38,455 --> 00:50:39,873
and they pick the
ones they want.

1237
00:50:39,957 --> 00:50:41,291
You know, it's like,
"I want that one."

1238
00:50:41,333 --> 00:50:43,585
"You know, it's very stylish.
You know, it's a stylish one."

1239
00:50:43,669 --> 00:50:46,129
Goes, "oh, no, I want the shy
one who doesn't want to baa."

1240
00:50:46,296 --> 00:50:47,840
Or they buy the sassy one,

1241
00:50:48,006 --> 00:50:51,426
who's like, "hey, I
see you, baa, baa."

1242
00:50:51,552 --> 00:50:53,136
So, what do the people
do with these sheep?

1243
00:50:53,637 --> 00:50:56,306
Whatever they want!
Sky is the limit.

1244
00:50:56,473 --> 00:50:57,975
You know, some
have them as pets.

1245
00:50:58,058 --> 00:51:00,227
Some have them as
security for the house.

1246
00:51:00,394 --> 00:51:01,645
A lot of the people...

1247
00:51:01,854 --> 00:51:03,772
The new thing is training them

1248
00:51:03,856 --> 00:51:06,483
to fight each other in
the sheep fight club.

1249
00:51:07,818 --> 00:51:09,695
Sheep fight clubs?

1250
00:51:09,862 --> 00:51:11,697
Yes. All the sheeps,
they get together.

1251
00:51:11,780 --> 00:51:14,366
They baa, all you hear
is, "baa, baa, baa."

1252
00:51:14,533 --> 00:51:15,993
And then you see hoof,
kick, hoof, kick,

1253
00:51:16,076 --> 00:51:17,828
hoof, kick, baa,
baa, baa, baa, baa!

1254
00:51:17,995 --> 00:51:19,121
And then he's out.

1255
00:51:19,329 --> 00:51:22,749
And that is how we met. She
bought a sheep from me.

1256
00:51:23,333 --> 00:51:24,585
Really? Why?

1257
00:51:24,751 --> 00:51:26,712
Children? Okay, tune out.

1258
00:51:26,879 --> 00:51:30,757
Okay, 'cause some secrets are coming
out, all right? Some adult ones.

1259
00:51:30,883 --> 00:51:33,677
She likes to shave the sheep

1260
00:51:33,886 --> 00:51:38,056
for the pelt for the
sex, sexuals, yes.

1261
00:51:38,432 --> 00:51:40,350
She has got a real fetish

1262
00:51:40,434 --> 00:51:41,727
for the wool and
stuff, you know.

1263
00:51:41,852 --> 00:51:43,812
We do this thing
called "sheepstenein."

1264
00:51:43,896 --> 00:51:44,938
(Clears throat)

1265
00:51:45,022 --> 00:51:46,982
Danny? Would you come
with me, please?

1266
00:51:47,065 --> 00:51:48,400
Yeah. Absolutely.

1267
00:51:48,442 --> 00:51:49,860
So, we're gonna leave right now.

1268
00:51:49,943 --> 00:51:51,695
So you guys play that game
that we always love to play,

1269
00:51:51,778 --> 00:51:52,821
nobody talk game.

1270
00:51:52,905 --> 00:51:54,072
And start now.

1271
00:51:54,239 --> 00:51:56,533
I'm sorry, we're leaving.
I can't do it. No.

1272
00:51:56,575 --> 00:51:57,868
I'm gonna kill that
guy. He's lost it.

1273
00:51:57,951 --> 00:51:59,411
He was going sheep-crazy,
I'll give you that.

1274
00:51:59,494 --> 00:52:00,746
Where is your hand right now?

1275
00:52:00,829 --> 00:52:02,039
You wanna see where it is?

1276
00:52:02,080 --> 00:52:03,540
It's not even here
anymore! It's gone!

1277
00:52:03,624 --> 00:52:04,666
How about I beat him up?

1278
00:52:04,750 --> 00:52:06,418
You can beat him up
with me. It'll be fun.

1279
00:52:06,585 --> 00:52:08,212
I don't want to! I have to go.

1280
00:52:08,337 --> 00:52:10,380
Don't bail on me right now!
Don't make that face at me.

1281
00:52:10,464 --> 00:52:11,632
I cannot stand that face.

1282
00:52:11,715 --> 00:52:12,799
Devlin: Katherine?

1283
00:52:12,925 --> 00:52:14,718
Katherine Murphy?

1284
00:52:15,385 --> 00:52:18,472
Oh, my god, devlin Adams.

1285
00:52:18,805 --> 00:52:20,682
(Shrieking)

1286
00:52:20,724 --> 00:52:22,309
Devlin? Devlin as in taking a...

1287
00:52:22,392 --> 00:52:24,436
Taking? From what I see...

1288
00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:26,730
It's my favorite college devlin!

1289
00:52:27,564 --> 00:52:30,734
Both of us here at this
resort at the same time.

1290
00:52:31,443 --> 00:52:33,570
I didn't know you came
to places like this.

1291
00:52:33,612 --> 00:52:34,696
Here we go.

1292
00:52:34,780 --> 00:52:35,781
Honey!

1293
00:52:35,906 --> 00:52:37,574
Honey, I want you
to meet someone.

1294
00:52:38,242 --> 00:52:41,745
This is one of my best
friends from my sorority.

1295
00:52:41,828 --> 00:52:44,581
Katherine, this is my
husband, LAN maxtone Jones.

1296
00:52:44,706 --> 00:52:45,749
Pleasure.

1297
00:52:45,832 --> 00:52:48,669
You might've heard of him.
He invented the iPod.

1298
00:52:48,961 --> 00:52:51,922
Well, of course
he did. The iPod.

1299
00:52:52,130 --> 00:52:54,299
The idea just came
to me in the shower.

1300
00:52:54,675 --> 00:52:57,970
A shower that I was
taking with devlin.

1301
00:52:58,053 --> 00:52:59,096
(Giggling)

1302
00:53:00,514 --> 00:53:03,767
So, this is a cabana you guys
got yourselves here, huh?

1303
00:53:03,976 --> 00:53:06,353
Because my skin is so white. I
don't like to get it burned.

1304
00:53:06,520 --> 00:53:08,188
Even at night?

1305
00:53:08,480 --> 00:53:09,898
Well, in Hawaii, you
never know with the sun.

1306
00:53:09,982 --> 00:53:11,108
Very, very strong.

1307
00:53:12,317 --> 00:53:14,069
So you mean like
a moonburn or...

1308
00:53:14,152 --> 00:53:15,362
(Laughs)

1309
00:53:15,445 --> 00:53:17,614
You look fantastic. Oh...

1310
00:53:17,781 --> 00:53:19,032
You look great.

1311
00:53:19,116 --> 00:53:22,327
I'm so glad you got your
teeth fixed. Much better.

1312
00:53:23,036 --> 00:53:27,082
You are just the same glorious
devlin that I remember.

1313
00:53:27,165 --> 00:53:30,002
Oh, my god, I ran into
Sandra wernick last month.

1314
00:53:30,878 --> 00:53:33,964
The poor thing. She's already
divorced and she has a child.

1315
00:53:34,339 --> 00:53:36,842
She's a single mother.
It's a disaster.

1316
00:53:36,967 --> 00:53:38,552
I feel so bad for her.

1317
00:53:38,802 --> 00:53:40,345
Are you married?

1318
00:53:40,721 --> 00:53:42,264
Mmm-hmm. Yes.

1319
00:53:42,389 --> 00:53:46,268
Oh! I've neglected to
introduce you to Danny,

1320
00:53:46,310 --> 00:53:51,106
Daniel Leroy maccabee
ill, my husband.

1321
00:53:51,481 --> 00:53:53,358
Yes. If you want me to stay,

1322
00:53:53,400 --> 00:53:54,526
will you just go with it, honey?

1323
00:53:54,693 --> 00:53:56,111
Come here and please
meet devlin and LAN.

1324
00:53:56,153 --> 00:53:58,780
Hey. This is Daniel.

1325
00:53:59,031 --> 00:54:00,240
IPod, what's up? How are you?

1326
00:54:00,324 --> 00:54:01,366
I'm fine.

1327
00:54:01,533 --> 00:54:03,535
Invented it. Pleasure. I heard.

1328
00:54:03,619 --> 00:54:06,496
Devlin, I think I spoke
about you with my wife

1329
00:54:06,580 --> 00:54:08,332
in the bathroom one
or two times, right?

1330
00:54:08,373 --> 00:54:09,541
We did.

1331
00:54:09,625 --> 00:54:10,959
Number two.

1332
00:54:11,043 --> 00:54:12,711
We did it twice, yes.

1333
00:54:12,836 --> 00:54:15,464
So, chief, tell me, what
do you do for a living?

1334
00:54:15,547 --> 00:54:17,591
I'm also an inventor,
just like you.

1335
00:54:17,674 --> 00:54:19,301
I invented the barking hand.

1336
00:54:19,426 --> 00:54:21,136
(Barking) (Exclaims)

1337
00:54:21,220 --> 00:54:22,804
I got you. But you're sunburned?

1338
00:54:23,222 --> 00:54:24,431
No. What?

1339
00:54:24,806 --> 00:54:26,266
You are a surgeon.

1340
00:54:26,350 --> 00:54:29,061
He's a plastic surgeon,
and he's one of the best

1341
00:54:29,269 --> 00:54:30,896
according to los
Angeles magazine.

1342
00:54:31,355 --> 00:54:32,481
Touchdown!

1343
00:54:32,564 --> 00:54:34,399
Yes. Well, that, yeah.

1344
00:54:34,525 --> 00:54:35,567
Touched it down.

1345
00:54:35,734 --> 00:54:38,028
We gotta go back. We have to
run. It was great to see you.

1346
00:54:38,195 --> 00:54:39,696
We have to get back
to our kids. So...

1347
00:54:40,030 --> 00:54:41,114
You have kids?

1348
00:54:41,198 --> 00:54:43,492
Mmm-hmm. Yeah, two, actually.

1349
00:54:43,575 --> 00:54:45,786
We couldn't wait to
start creating lives.

1350
00:54:45,827 --> 00:54:49,039
And by the way, I
created these children

1351
00:54:49,081 --> 00:54:50,749
in the shower. Right?

1352
00:54:50,874 --> 00:54:52,376
You did. You know what
I'm saying, homeboy?

1353
00:54:52,459 --> 00:54:54,378
(Danny and Katherine laughing)

1354
00:54:54,461 --> 00:54:55,546
That is funny.

1355
00:54:55,629 --> 00:54:57,089
Wow, you've been
together a long time.

1356
00:54:57,464 --> 00:54:59,091
Am I gonna leave this
girl? Look at her.

1357
00:54:59,299 --> 00:55:00,425
Still gets the flag up the pole,

1358
00:55:00,509 --> 00:55:01,760
if you know what I mean.

1359
00:55:01,927 --> 00:55:04,429
Bing-bang. An irod,
I should say.

1360
00:55:04,555 --> 00:55:06,098
Oh. Come on, hit that. Why'd
you leave me hanging so long?

1361
00:55:06,223 --> 00:55:08,225
You're so clever.
That's so silly.

1362
00:55:08,350 --> 00:55:09,768
The four of us
should get together

1363
00:55:09,810 --> 00:55:11,144
and have dinner one night.

1364
00:55:11,228 --> 00:55:13,730
Oh! That would be almost
like a dream of mine.

1365
00:55:13,814 --> 00:55:17,818
If we could ever get ourselves
out of the bedroom.

1366
00:55:17,943 --> 00:55:20,279
Katherine Murphy, look at you!

1367
00:55:20,320 --> 00:55:23,615
Oh, no, not Murphy
anymore. Leroy maccabee.

1368
00:55:23,699 --> 00:55:24,783
That's right.

1369
00:55:24,867 --> 00:55:28,871
The third. Anyway, so it was great
to see you and meet you, LAN.

1370
00:55:29,037 --> 00:55:31,039
The big e. Love the
shuffle, by the way.

1371
00:55:31,164 --> 00:55:33,292
Good to meet you. Bye!
Thanks. You, too!

1372
00:55:33,500 --> 00:55:35,502
What are you talking
about? She was nice.

1373
00:55:35,711 --> 00:55:37,713
I'm gonna kill you. Come on.
You need me, though, right?

1374
00:55:37,796 --> 00:55:38,922
I don't believe
that just happened.

1375
00:55:38,964 --> 00:55:40,299
I like that you need me.
How's that make you feel?

1376
00:55:40,382 --> 00:55:42,926
Please, it feels like a car door
just slowly shut on my soul.

1377
00:55:43,010 --> 00:55:44,178
Come here! Listen. What?

1378
00:55:44,386 --> 00:55:45,554
Do you know how I
feel right now?

1379
00:55:45,721 --> 00:55:46,722
You were getting me so upset,

1380
00:55:46,805 --> 00:55:47,848
bringing me into
that web of lies.

1381
00:55:48,015 --> 00:55:49,057
My hand's right here right now.

1382
00:55:49,141 --> 00:55:50,267
Oh, my hand's right there.

1383
00:55:50,350 --> 00:55:51,518
You know what? I
hate you right now.

1384
00:55:51,643 --> 00:55:53,645
I've gotta write out a
bunch of index cards

1385
00:55:53,729 --> 00:55:55,439
just to keep up with these lies.

1386
00:55:55,480 --> 00:55:57,399
Yeah, and you're gonna make me
copies, too. And one more thing.

1387
00:55:57,441 --> 00:55:58,442
(Barking)

1388
00:55:58,525 --> 00:55:59,526
(Laughing)

1389
00:55:59,610 --> 00:56:00,611
(Exclaims)

1390
00:56:02,529 --> 00:56:02,738
Danny: Oh, my god, why are we
leaving the hotel right now?

1391
00:56:02,779 --> 00:56:05,240
Danny: Oh, my god, why are we
leaving the hotel right now?

1392
00:56:05,282 --> 00:56:06,742
Why did you wake me up?

1393
00:56:06,825 --> 00:56:07,951
Because, grandpa,

1394
00:56:08,035 --> 00:56:10,913
I signed us up for the
all-day adventure tour.

1395
00:56:10,996 --> 00:56:13,749
We're gonna go hiking in the
rainforest, and kayaking down rivers

1396
00:56:13,832 --> 00:56:15,542
and swimming under waterfalls.

1397
00:56:15,626 --> 00:56:17,669
Swimming. I hope you
mean skinny-dipping.

1398
00:56:17,753 --> 00:56:19,171
I'm gonna suggest swimming.

1399
00:56:20,047 --> 00:56:22,007
I, however, am fine with
some man nudity, Danny.

1400
00:56:22,216 --> 00:56:25,844
Okay, so Swiss family
nightmare is coming with us.

1401
00:56:26,053 --> 00:56:27,721
That's so we can bond?

1402
00:56:27,888 --> 00:56:29,848
Oh, that'll be great!

1403
00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:35,562
Maggie: It's bloody
breathtaking out here!

1404
00:56:35,729 --> 00:56:37,731
Is this where the blue
avatar people live?

1405
00:56:37,940 --> 00:56:40,484
Yeah, the blue avatar people
and I think that black pig.

1406
00:56:41,109 --> 00:56:42,945
Katherine: Where? The pig.

1407
00:56:43,111 --> 00:56:44,947
Look, how cute. Looks like babe.

1408
00:56:44,988 --> 00:56:46,114
(Squealing)

1409
00:56:46,365 --> 00:56:48,367
Oh, my god! Go, go!

1410
00:56:48,575 --> 00:56:50,202
Come on, go, go!

1411
00:56:52,037 --> 00:56:53,247
(Screaming)

1412
00:56:53,622 --> 00:56:55,249
The pig is eating my body!

1413
00:56:55,541 --> 00:56:57,417
(Canaryin a co almine playing)

1414
00:57:06,760 --> 00:57:08,220
(Danny groaning)

1415
00:57:14,810 --> 00:57:15,811
(Groans)

1416
00:57:16,270 --> 00:57:18,397
Keep your eyes on the
river, sweetheart.

1417
00:57:18,564 --> 00:57:21,149
Yes. I was looking at
the canyon. (Giggles)

1418
00:57:26,905 --> 00:57:29,157
Hey, what're you guys doing?

1419
00:57:29,283 --> 00:57:32,619
That bridge can only handle
one person at a time!

1420
00:57:32,953 --> 00:57:33,954
(All screaming)

1421
00:57:34,079 --> 00:57:35,205
Go, go, go!

1422
00:57:35,289 --> 00:57:37,457
Danny: What'd he
say? What'd you say?

1423
00:57:38,792 --> 00:57:40,043
(Screams)

1424
00:57:40,127 --> 00:57:41,211
(Laughing)

1425
00:57:41,295 --> 00:57:44,506
Holy devlin! Ow!

1426
00:57:45,340 --> 00:57:46,508
Eddie: Come on, let's go.

1427
00:57:46,675 --> 00:57:49,386
Piggyback times are magical
times, aren't they?

1428
00:57:49,469 --> 00:57:51,471
Yeah, aren't they? You're
warping my spine now.

1429
00:57:51,597 --> 00:57:52,931
(Exclaims)

1430
00:57:53,974 --> 00:57:55,726
I think kiki slipped.

1431
00:57:57,561 --> 00:58:00,898
Oh, father, I just love
spending time with you!

1432
00:58:03,150 --> 00:58:05,110
Oh, my god!

1433
00:58:06,403 --> 00:58:07,905
You guys, look at this!

1434
00:58:08,071 --> 00:58:10,032
Katherine: Oh, my god!
Maggie: It's lovely!

1435
00:58:10,115 --> 00:58:12,451
Katherine: Wow! That
is unbelievable.

1436
00:58:12,784 --> 00:58:15,871
I don't know about you guys,
but I am gonna go cool off.

1437
00:58:16,038 --> 00:58:17,706
Really? There could be
black pigs in there.

1438
00:58:18,081 --> 00:58:19,583
I agree.

1439
00:58:19,750 --> 00:58:21,293
Look at that. That's terrific.

1440
00:58:21,835 --> 00:58:24,963
Does the hotel know you took
those pillows, honey? (Chuckles)

1441
00:58:26,173 --> 00:58:28,300
She really wears
that bikini well.

1442
00:58:28,550 --> 00:58:29,676
Yeah.

1443
00:58:29,760 --> 00:58:33,013
You know what she'd wear well?
Dental floss and a pirate hat.

1444
00:58:33,222 --> 00:58:34,806
Don't say that.
Absolutely gross.

1445
00:58:37,309 --> 00:58:38,602
Eddie: Oh, my god! Gorgeous!

1446
00:58:38,769 --> 00:58:39,811
Katherine: Perfect.

1447
00:58:39,937 --> 00:58:42,981
That was a ten! A
perfect ten! Yay!

1448
00:58:43,607 --> 00:58:46,151
So, al jolson, you mind
jumping in the water

1449
00:58:46,235 --> 00:58:48,487
and also screaming on the way
down, "I love my daddy"?

1450
00:58:48,612 --> 00:58:50,072
Okay.

1451
00:58:50,781 --> 00:58:51,865
Yeah, do it, do it for me.

1452
00:58:52,074 --> 00:58:53,492
Do it for da-da. Katherine:
I love my daddy.

1453
00:58:53,534 --> 00:58:55,661
Daddy is my favorite adult!

1454
00:58:56,787 --> 00:58:58,872
(Whoops) You're paying her
enough for this, right?

1455
00:58:59,039 --> 00:59:01,917
And I love you, my
little British crumpet!

1456
00:59:02,960 --> 00:59:04,711
All right, homeboy,
you're up next. Let's go.

1457
00:59:04,878 --> 00:59:06,463
Come up with something
on your own.

1458
00:59:08,465 --> 00:59:09,883
You gotta squeeze
out another log?

1459
00:59:10,050 --> 00:59:11,760
What happened? What'd
he whisper to you?

1460
00:59:12,302 --> 00:59:13,720
Water's too deep.

1461
00:59:13,846 --> 00:59:15,264
Water's too deep for what?

1462
00:59:15,430 --> 00:59:16,557
He can't swim.

1463
00:59:17,015 --> 00:59:18,600
He can't swim?

1464
00:59:18,976 --> 00:59:21,478
And you wanna swim
with the dolphins?

1465
00:59:21,520 --> 00:59:23,397
That makes a lot of sense.

1466
00:59:24,189 --> 00:59:25,649
Hadn't thought it through.

1467
00:59:25,858 --> 00:59:27,484
No kidding you didn't
think it through.

1468
00:59:27,693 --> 00:59:29,403
Thought about spending all my
money, though, didn't you?

1469
00:59:29,528 --> 00:59:31,947
Danny! I'm saying,
I'm not the kid's...

1470
00:59:31,989 --> 00:59:34,366
Okay. No one taught
you how to swim, huh?

1471
00:59:34,741 --> 00:59:38,120
Well, my dad's supposed
to, but he's busy.

1472
00:59:38,370 --> 00:59:40,330
Uh-huh. Busy being an idiot.

1473
00:59:51,717 --> 00:59:55,095
You guys have to come in,
the water feels magical!

1474
00:59:55,470 --> 00:59:58,849
I got something magical, too.
Right in the downstairs area.

1475
00:59:59,016 --> 01:00:00,601
I don't high-five when it's...

1476
01:00:00,767 --> 01:00:01,894
Downstairs area!

1477
01:00:02,102 --> 01:00:03,687
No, put it away.
Sorry. No, stop.

1478
01:00:03,854 --> 01:00:06,690
You know what? I think mommy's
gonna explore the magical waters.

1479
01:00:06,773 --> 01:00:08,775
Honey, are you okay to hang
out here with fake daddy?

1480
01:00:09,359 --> 01:00:10,444
Sure.

1481
01:00:10,569 --> 01:00:12,112
Really? You're gonna
get undressed?

1482
01:00:12,196 --> 01:00:13,197
What are you doing?

1483
01:00:13,363 --> 01:00:14,948
What? You got a
bathing cap, too?

1484
01:00:15,073 --> 01:00:16,200
You're the worst.

1485
01:00:16,283 --> 01:00:19,244
A 1920s swimming gown on, honey?

1486
01:00:19,703 --> 01:00:21,538
Don't do it. don't take it off.

1487
01:00:35,511 --> 01:00:37,638
Yeah. I have to be alone.

1488
01:00:37,763 --> 01:00:38,931
Okay.

1489
01:00:42,601 --> 01:00:44,770
God, I gotta start
taking the stairs more.

1490
01:00:44,895 --> 01:00:45,979
Don't buy that line.

1491
01:00:46,104 --> 01:00:48,440
She takes spinning classes
like they're M&M's.

1492
01:00:55,280 --> 01:00:57,032
I think he's wearing
my underwear.

1493
01:00:59,409 --> 01:01:00,577
What is he doing?

1494
01:01:01,036 --> 01:01:02,955
Yo, I guarantee you fall!

1495
01:01:03,288 --> 01:01:04,456
I'm all set.

1496
01:01:04,540 --> 01:01:05,791
(Exclaiming)

1497
01:01:07,292 --> 01:01:08,252
Ow!

1498
01:01:08,627 --> 01:01:10,003
Thank you, god.

1499
01:01:13,507 --> 01:01:15,133
I wanna climb Palmer mountain,

1500
01:01:15,175 --> 01:01:16,927
so what do you say we
get rid of these kids?

1501
01:01:16,969 --> 01:01:19,680
No. They had them last
night. It's our turn.

1502
01:01:19,763 --> 01:01:22,182
Isn't that how things
work? We alternate?

1503
01:01:22,266 --> 01:01:23,684
What? No.

1504
01:01:23,809 --> 01:01:26,645
I get the kids...
I had them today.

1505
01:01:26,770 --> 01:01:28,063
That counted as a "me" day

1506
01:01:28,146 --> 01:01:29,273
and then she gets them at night.

1507
01:01:29,356 --> 01:01:30,524
That's how we do it. Oh.

1508
01:01:30,983 --> 01:01:33,318
Dolph, devlin, do you
want us to watch the kids

1509
01:01:33,360 --> 01:01:35,445
so that you guys can have
a little alone time?

1510
01:01:35,779 --> 01:01:37,698
I don't think...
Yes! Absoshnutely!

1511
01:01:37,781 --> 01:01:39,074
We are sleeping together!

1512
01:01:39,157 --> 01:01:40,993
You guys have your own
beds and it's our time!

1513
01:01:41,076 --> 01:01:43,704
So we're gonna watch them. Good.

1514
01:01:45,372 --> 01:01:47,124
You guys wanna come take
a look at the balcony?

1515
01:01:47,165 --> 01:01:48,333
I think I saw some
dolphins around here.

1516
01:01:48,458 --> 01:01:51,712
Dolphins? Hey, he loves
those, right? Dolphins.

1517
01:01:51,837 --> 01:01:52,880
Sorry. Okay, go.

1518
01:01:52,963 --> 01:01:54,339
All right, let go. Come on.

1519
01:01:54,423 --> 01:01:55,799
Get the dolphins. Bye, you guys.

1520
01:01:55,841 --> 01:01:57,593
That's why we're
here, the dolphins.

1521
01:01:57,634 --> 01:01:58,760
See you out there.

1522
01:01:58,886 --> 01:02:00,345
Listen, if anything happens

1523
01:02:00,429 --> 01:02:01,972
and you need any...
And I mean anything,

1524
01:02:02,055 --> 01:02:03,223
you have to call me.

1525
01:02:03,348 --> 01:02:04,808
I'm good at this,
I swear to you.

1526
01:02:04,892 --> 01:02:07,019
I used to baby-sit Eddie
when we were children.

1527
01:02:07,436 --> 01:02:09,479
Eddie is your fault? No, no, no.

1528
01:02:09,521 --> 01:02:11,356
But I want you to enjoy tonight.

1529
01:02:11,440 --> 01:02:12,482
Come on, it's like a free night.

1530
01:02:12,566 --> 01:02:14,026
You can do whatever you want.

1531
01:02:14,109 --> 01:02:15,944
You can knit yourself some socks

1532
01:02:15,986 --> 01:02:17,946
or shock people with
your sneaky hot body.

1533
01:02:18,030 --> 01:02:19,740
I don't know what you're
talking about. Cary Grant?

1534
01:02:19,907 --> 01:02:21,200
I'm just gonna sit in my room

1535
01:02:21,325 --> 01:02:23,869
and worry about you and
them and everything.

1536
01:02:23,952 --> 01:02:25,787
What about just hang
out platonically

1537
01:02:25,871 --> 01:02:27,497
with Eddie tonight?
Have some dinner?

1538
01:02:27,581 --> 01:02:28,957
Or is he not good enough?

1539
01:02:29,041 --> 01:02:32,002
You need Brian, the guy
from foghat, around here.

1540
01:02:32,211 --> 01:02:33,420
That really bothered you

1541
01:02:33,462 --> 01:02:35,380
that I went to lunch
with that guy.

1542
01:02:35,464 --> 01:02:37,007
What do you mean, you
went to lunch with him?

1543
01:02:37,049 --> 01:02:39,051
I told you I was going
to lunch with him.

1544
01:02:39,218 --> 01:02:40,928
I thought it was he
asked you to lunch

1545
01:02:41,011 --> 01:02:42,262
and you were gonna
like scoff at it.

1546
01:02:42,387 --> 01:02:44,681
But you did? You
fell for his charms?

1547
01:02:45,182 --> 01:02:47,559
I don't even understand
what this is.

1548
01:02:47,601 --> 01:02:48,936
It's the beard, man.

1549
01:02:49,186 --> 01:02:50,354
It doesn't move!

1550
01:02:50,521 --> 01:02:53,232
Well, yeah, in the wind,
man. It's flapping around.

1551
01:02:53,398 --> 01:02:54,858
All right. You know what?
I'll tell you this.

1552
01:02:54,942 --> 01:02:57,444
The guy made it through an
entire lunch with a woman

1553
01:02:57,569 --> 01:02:59,196
without making up a fake life.

1554
01:02:59,613 --> 01:03:00,822
Ah.

1555
01:03:01,365 --> 01:03:02,574
You just hurt me.

1556
01:03:02,991 --> 01:03:05,744
That was not nice, but
it was the truth.

1557
01:03:05,827 --> 01:03:07,913
And I speak the truth.

1558
01:03:07,996 --> 01:03:09,623
Please pay attention
to my children.

1559
01:03:09,748 --> 01:03:10,874
Everything will be nice.

1560
01:03:10,999 --> 01:03:13,752
They serve room service
in the hallway.

1561
01:03:14,127 --> 01:03:16,255
I'm so nauseous. Okay. Bye.

1562
01:03:19,800 --> 01:03:21,552
Alone at last!

1563
01:03:21,677 --> 01:03:22,928
(Whimpering)

1564
01:03:24,179 --> 01:03:25,389
(Coughs)

1565
01:03:26,431 --> 01:03:28,016
Let's play the game.

1566
01:03:28,100 --> 01:03:30,143
We were doing so
good with the game.

1567
01:03:30,978 --> 01:03:34,815
"If you could be one
person besides yourself,"

1568
01:03:35,107 --> 01:03:36,233
"who would you be?"

1569
01:03:37,150 --> 01:03:39,027
Rachael ray, because I've always

1570
01:03:39,069 --> 01:03:40,112
wanted to know how to cook.

1571
01:03:40,195 --> 01:03:41,947
Really? Oh, she's darling.

1572
01:03:42,197 --> 01:03:44,700
You know what? I don't
really wanna be anyone else.

1573
01:03:44,783 --> 01:03:47,452
I'm happy with who
I am. I choose me.

1574
01:03:47,828 --> 01:03:49,830
Or captain kirk. Either one.

1575
01:03:49,913 --> 01:03:51,707
See, that's a good
one. All right.

1576
01:03:51,874 --> 01:03:53,000
What about you, Bart?

1577
01:03:54,334 --> 01:03:56,086
Mr. decesare.

1578
01:03:56,461 --> 01:03:58,505
Our mailman? Why?

1579
01:03:59,131 --> 01:04:02,551
He just seems like he's
got it all figured out.

1580
01:04:02,759 --> 01:04:04,344
We're getting deep.

1581
01:04:04,928 --> 01:04:07,639
Okay, moving on. Uh...

1582
01:04:08,140 --> 01:04:11,476
Okay. "Name something
that makes you sad."

1583
01:04:13,103 --> 01:04:17,316
That judi dench has never won
the Oscar for best actress.

1584
01:04:18,358 --> 01:04:20,110
(Crying) It's a travesty.

1585
01:04:21,320 --> 01:04:23,447
That 'n sync broke up.

1586
01:04:24,531 --> 01:04:26,867
Yeah. That was rough
on all of us.

1587
01:04:27,367 --> 01:04:29,161
(Softly) Who's 'n sync?

1588
01:04:30,078 --> 01:04:32,331
Sadness. Bart, you're up.

1589
01:04:33,498 --> 01:04:35,542
I don't wanna say mine.

1590
01:04:35,709 --> 01:04:37,461
Okay. Let's move on then.

1591
01:04:37,628 --> 01:04:38,712
Hey!

1592
01:04:38,837 --> 01:04:40,964
Honey, come on. You can
share anything with us.

1593
01:04:41,131 --> 01:04:42,174
Yeah, share.

1594
01:04:42,257 --> 01:04:43,967
He looks like he's about
to lose it, but okay.

1595
01:04:45,260 --> 01:04:48,347
When my dad doesn't
have time for me.

1596
01:04:49,348 --> 01:04:50,641
Come on, it's okay.

1597
01:04:50,849 --> 01:04:53,894
We're okay. We're
okay. It's fine.

1598
01:04:53,977 --> 01:04:56,647
It's all gonna be okay. Come on.

1599
01:04:56,688 --> 01:04:58,857
We don't need him in our lives.

1600
01:04:59,358 --> 01:05:00,359
Wow.

1601
01:05:00,400 --> 01:05:01,735
No, no, no, he's...

1602
01:05:01,818 --> 01:05:03,070
Maggie: We're okay. It's fine.

1603
01:05:03,237 --> 01:05:04,655
It's all gonna be okay.

1604
01:05:05,239 --> 01:05:06,698
This has nothing to...

1605
01:05:06,782 --> 01:05:09,117
This is, like, from
a long time ago!

1606
01:05:10,494 --> 01:05:12,162
It's okay.

1607
01:05:14,039 --> 01:05:15,040
What are you doing?

1608
01:05:15,707 --> 01:05:17,793
Danny: Well, that was
a major setback.

1609
01:05:18,377 --> 01:05:20,879
"When my dad doesn't have time
for me." (Imitates crying)

1610
01:05:21,588 --> 01:05:22,840
We're sorry.

1611
01:05:22,881 --> 01:05:24,049
I know you're sorry.

1612
01:05:24,132 --> 01:05:25,884
I know you got real stuff
going on with your family.

1613
01:05:26,051 --> 01:05:27,261
And it's painful.

1614
01:05:27,344 --> 01:05:29,221
But you gotta just hold it in

1615
01:05:29,304 --> 01:05:30,889
till you get to the
mainland again.

1616
01:05:31,014 --> 01:05:32,224
You're the ones who
wanted to come here

1617
01:05:32,307 --> 01:05:33,475
and go swimming
with the dolphins

1618
01:05:33,559 --> 01:05:35,686
or standing with the dolphins
because you can't swim.

1619
01:05:35,936 --> 01:05:37,896
Can you act professional?
Both: Yes, sir.

1620
01:05:37,938 --> 01:05:40,107
For at least two more days,
until I kill you off

1621
01:05:40,190 --> 01:05:42,276
in a boarding school
train accident?

1622
01:05:42,526 --> 01:05:44,111
I thought it was a car accident.

1623
01:05:44,278 --> 01:05:45,279
I don't know. Either that

1624
01:05:45,320 --> 01:05:46,697
or a science explosion,
just something.

1625
01:05:46,780 --> 01:05:49,032
You're gonna be dead soon.
That's the good news. Okay?

1626
01:05:49,116 --> 01:05:51,285
So, can you just focus
for a few more days?

1627
01:05:51,410 --> 01:05:52,744
Both: Yes. Good.

1628
01:05:52,911 --> 01:05:55,414
So, give me some fake hugs
right now and laugh real loud

1629
01:05:55,497 --> 01:05:56,790
like we're the happiest
family on earth.

1630
01:05:56,957 --> 01:05:58,417
Okay. Is that possible?

1631
01:05:58,584 --> 01:06:00,961
And laughing,
laughing, laughing.

1632
01:06:01,128 --> 01:06:03,589
Okay, that's it. Laugh
louder, louder.

1633
01:06:03,672 --> 01:06:06,008
(Laughing loudly)

1634
01:06:06,091 --> 01:06:07,551
Danny: I love you guys!

1635
01:06:07,634 --> 01:06:10,095
Hey, sweetie! What's
going on? What's up?

1636
01:06:10,304 --> 01:06:13,307
So, kids, I just got off
the phone with your mom

1637
01:06:13,515 --> 01:06:15,976
and you guys are gonna
have plenty of time

1638
01:06:16,059 --> 01:06:17,519
to spend with your dad tomorrow

1639
01:06:17,561 --> 01:06:20,731
because she and I are gonna
have a nice, long spa day.

1640
01:06:20,814 --> 01:06:21,899
All: Aw!

1641
01:06:21,982 --> 01:06:24,985
Awesome! Awesome, awesome.

1642
01:06:25,194 --> 01:06:27,029
You guys are so...

1643
01:06:27,404 --> 01:06:30,073
I'll see you in a minute,
okay? I love you.

1644
01:06:32,201 --> 01:06:33,368
(Kids exclaiming)

1645
01:06:33,452 --> 01:06:35,245
Okay, he's losing it.
Okay, good night.

1646
01:06:35,287 --> 01:06:36,413
He's losing it.

1647
01:06:36,496 --> 01:06:39,499
Danny: All right, here
we go. Everybody out.

1648
01:06:41,502 --> 01:06:42,961
So, what are we doing?

1649
01:06:43,128 --> 01:06:45,506
Palmer forgot her
camera in the room

1650
01:06:45,631 --> 01:06:47,049
so I'm gonna have a
surprise for her

1651
01:06:47,132 --> 01:06:48,550
when she gets back from the spa.

1652
01:06:48,634 --> 01:06:49,968
Maggie: A stolen camera?

1653
01:06:50,010 --> 01:06:52,638
No, some pictures of
us having a great time

1654
01:06:52,763 --> 01:06:55,349
reassuring her of all the
fun we have together.

1655
01:06:56,600 --> 01:06:59,394
I forgot to flush the toilet
before I left the hotel.

1656
01:06:59,770 --> 01:07:01,230
So she's gonna have
two surprises.

1657
01:07:01,271 --> 01:07:04,483
Okay. No one's supposed to
crap as much as you do.

1658
01:07:04,608 --> 01:07:06,860
You gotta look into that
pepto bismol or something.

1659
01:07:07,027 --> 01:07:09,154
Here's your putters. Bing.

1660
01:07:09,530 --> 01:07:11,073
And a bam. Thank you.

1661
01:07:11,156 --> 01:07:14,159
Let's just look right in the
camera. And we're having fun.

1662
01:07:14,326 --> 01:07:16,119
And we're a family.
We love each other.

1663
01:07:16,828 --> 01:07:18,038
And boo! (Shutter clicks)

1664
01:07:18,372 --> 01:07:20,832
All right, let's do the old
Michael-hit-a-putt shot. Okay?

1665
01:07:20,916 --> 01:07:22,876
So boom, that's in the hole.

1666
01:07:22,960 --> 01:07:24,127
And you're excited about that,

1667
01:07:24,211 --> 01:07:27,256
and we're happy for him, and...
(Exclaims) (Shutter clicks)

1668
01:07:27,589 --> 01:07:29,716
Maggie just hit the ball, but
you followed through too much

1669
01:07:29,800 --> 01:07:31,218
and it made you
fall on your back.

1670
01:07:31,301 --> 01:07:32,678
Okay, but... look at this.

1671
01:07:32,719 --> 01:07:34,972
You're laughing, but I'm a
concerned father, so I'm like,

1672
01:07:35,055 --> 01:07:36,932
"oh, my god." (Shutter clicks)

1673
01:07:37,266 --> 01:07:38,851
All right, now,

1674
01:07:38,976 --> 01:07:41,019
let's just laugh at something I
say, because I'm a funny dad.

1675
01:07:41,103 --> 01:07:43,063
You're very close with me, and
you think I'm funny, and...

1676
01:07:43,230 --> 01:07:44,439
Why are we always laughing?

1677
01:07:44,481 --> 01:07:45,858
Is there something
wrong with us?

1678
01:07:46,358 --> 01:07:48,861
No. You're just amused by
everything I say. So, here we go.

1679
01:07:48,944 --> 01:07:51,405
Can we take a break? Do
something really fun?

1680
01:07:51,530 --> 01:07:53,240
No, we're not doing
anything fun, man.

1681
01:07:53,282 --> 01:07:54,908
We're here to fake having fun.

1682
01:07:54,992 --> 01:07:56,159
Come on. Right to the camera.

1683
01:07:56,201 --> 01:07:59,121
Don't worry. We never have fun
with our real dad either.

1684
01:08:00,080 --> 01:08:01,707
Oh, man.

1685
01:08:02,207 --> 01:08:04,418
(Sighs) All right. How's this?

1686
01:08:04,501 --> 01:08:06,003
I'll teach you how
to swim, okay?

1687
01:08:06,086 --> 01:08:07,880
Before your mother gets back

1688
01:08:07,921 --> 01:08:10,424
from the "spa day"
in four hours?

1689
01:08:10,591 --> 01:08:12,259
Is that even possible? Yeah.

1690
01:08:12,384 --> 01:08:14,178
But we're gonna take one more
picture, if you don't mind.

1691
01:08:14,386 --> 01:08:16,555
Make that two pictures. Maggie.

1692
01:08:17,931 --> 01:08:19,349
Throw this straight in the
air. Make it look like...

1693
01:08:19,433 --> 01:08:21,101
On the count of three, one,
two, three. (Shutter clicks)

1694
01:08:21,185 --> 01:08:22,269
Okay.

1695
01:08:22,394 --> 01:08:23,896
Now, Michael, lay down.

1696
01:08:24,855 --> 01:08:26,857
On your back. And...

1697
01:08:26,940 --> 01:08:29,359
Yeah, all the way over. See
if you can clench this.

1698
01:08:29,443 --> 01:08:31,320
Now look like you're in pain.

1699
01:08:31,361 --> 01:08:32,779
Danny: Ooh! (Shutter clicks)

1700
01:08:35,741 --> 01:08:38,160
It took my friend a whole
summer to learn how to swim.

1701
01:08:38,535 --> 01:08:39,870
How're you gonna
teach me so quick?

1702
01:08:40,078 --> 01:08:42,456
I'm gonna do it the same way
my grandfather taught me.

1703
01:08:42,831 --> 01:08:44,041
(Exclaims)

1704
01:08:46,502 --> 01:08:47,836
don't worry.

1705
01:08:47,920 --> 01:08:50,005
It took grandpa eight
hours to teach us.

1706
01:08:50,088 --> 01:08:51,089
It was a nightmare.

1707
01:08:51,507 --> 01:08:54,051
But there's two of us here
now, and we're sober.

1708
01:08:54,134 --> 01:08:55,511
You're gonna be fine.

1709
01:08:56,345 --> 01:08:57,763
All right. You're doing great.

1710
01:08:57,930 --> 01:08:59,640
Is he doing great?
He's doing great.

1711
01:08:59,723 --> 01:09:01,308
Okay. We want to advance
a little, though.

1712
01:09:01,391 --> 01:09:03,310
I need you to swim
to uncle Eddie.

1713
01:09:03,393 --> 01:09:04,895
If you get there without
touching the bottom,

1714
01:09:04,978 --> 01:09:06,313
we'll give you a dolphin cookie.

1715
01:09:06,813 --> 01:09:08,815
(Mimicking dolphin)

1716
01:09:08,899 --> 01:09:10,275
Is that what your
grandpa gave you?

1717
01:09:10,651 --> 01:09:13,403
No, grandpa gave us something
he'd call a Heineken.

1718
01:09:13,445 --> 01:09:14,488
I want one of those.

1719
01:09:14,571 --> 01:09:15,822
No. Stick with the
dolphin cookie.

1720
01:09:15,948 --> 01:09:18,659
Yeah. They hurt less when
they get thrown at your head.

1721
01:09:18,784 --> 01:09:20,244
God, he was a sick man.

1722
01:09:20,327 --> 01:09:22,663
Yeah. Okay? Are we ready?

1723
01:09:22,704 --> 01:09:24,081
Don't think about it.
Commit. Kick, kick.

1724
01:09:24,122 --> 01:09:25,958
Get the cookie. Move your feet.

1725
01:09:27,709 --> 01:09:29,127
Kick, kick!

1726
01:09:29,294 --> 01:09:31,129
Right there! Reach
for it! You got it!

1727
01:09:31,296 --> 01:09:32,339
Doing good, buddy!

1728
01:09:34,174 --> 01:09:35,467
There you go!

1729
01:09:35,634 --> 01:09:37,636
My boy! That was
terrific, buddy.

1730
01:09:37,719 --> 01:09:40,180
Have your cookie. We're
gonna move on, though.

1731
01:09:40,305 --> 01:09:41,598
Palmer: Hey, devlin?

1732
01:09:42,808 --> 01:09:44,685
Devlin? Yeah?

1733
01:09:45,102 --> 01:09:47,062
So, Danny's birthday
is next week,

1734
01:09:47,145 --> 01:09:48,730
and I have no idea
what to get him.

1735
01:09:49,022 --> 01:09:50,274
(Groans)

1736
01:09:51,650 --> 01:09:53,360
Well, don't get him a tie.

1737
01:09:53,402 --> 01:09:55,571
He has 100 of them and
he never wears them.

1738
01:09:55,696 --> 01:09:56,738
That's good to know.

1739
01:09:57,281 --> 01:09:59,157
He loves books on
tape for his car.

1740
01:09:59,199 --> 01:10:00,409
Fishing gear.

1741
01:10:00,951 --> 01:10:03,120
Loves it. Doesn't use it.

1742
01:10:03,203 --> 01:10:04,705
Can't take the fish
off of the hook

1743
01:10:04,788 --> 01:10:06,707
once he catches it, so
he just collects it.

1744
01:10:07,374 --> 01:10:10,752
He loves candy. Jelly bellies.
Loves them, his favorite.

1745
01:10:10,836 --> 01:10:12,838
But he only likes the cotton
candy and the peanut butter.

1746
01:10:12,880 --> 01:10:15,007
So you have to buy the bag
of the jelly bellies,

1747
01:10:15,090 --> 01:10:16,675
separate the cotton candy
and the peanut butter

1748
01:10:16,758 --> 01:10:17,801
and put them into a little...

1749
01:10:18,010 --> 01:10:19,803
It's a kind of ziploc
baggies that I got online.

1750
01:10:19,887 --> 01:10:21,847
You know so much about him.

1751
01:10:22,890 --> 01:10:24,016
Yeah.

1752
01:10:24,516 --> 01:10:26,935
I've known the guy forever.

1753
01:10:28,770 --> 01:10:30,898
Music. Loves music.

1754
01:10:31,190 --> 01:10:33,275
But anything after
'95, don't bother.

1755
01:10:33,358 --> 01:10:34,526
You'll lose him.

1756
01:10:35,068 --> 01:10:36,945
That's when I finished
my girl scouts.

1757
01:10:39,239 --> 01:10:40,782
All right. How many
cookies do we got left?

1758
01:10:41,533 --> 01:10:42,784
Maybe about forty!

1759
01:10:43,285 --> 01:10:45,579
What do you think, 40
feet for 40 cookies?

1760
01:10:45,621 --> 01:10:47,372
Can you handle that? You
need a little rest?

1761
01:10:47,414 --> 01:10:48,540
Let's do this.

1762
01:10:48,832 --> 01:10:51,627
Really? Okay, he's ready!
He's ready to rock!

1763
01:10:51,752 --> 01:10:53,003
Almost.

1764
01:10:53,378 --> 01:10:54,421
What? No.

1765
01:10:54,630 --> 01:10:58,425
Oh, my! Ladies and gentlemen,
off come the floaties!

1766
01:10:58,717 --> 01:11:00,427
This is getting serious!

1767
01:11:00,511 --> 01:11:01,678
Are you sure about
this, Michael?

1768
01:11:01,887 --> 01:11:03,472
Hell, yeah. All right.

1769
01:11:03,597 --> 01:11:05,641
No matter what, you're
a good man, okay?

1770
01:11:06,099 --> 01:11:07,976
Keep kicking. I'm
here if you need me.

1771
01:11:08,101 --> 01:11:09,102
You got this.

1772
01:11:09,228 --> 01:11:10,729
Go! Go, Michael!

1773
01:11:10,938 --> 01:11:12,397
Danny: Go! Breathe! Yeah!

1774
01:11:12,773 --> 01:11:14,066
Kick it! Go!

1775
01:11:14,149 --> 01:11:15,567
Move your arms! Yeah!

1776
01:11:15,859 --> 01:11:17,194
(All cheering)

1777
01:11:17,236 --> 01:11:18,904
He doesn't have floaties on!

1778
01:11:19,279 --> 01:11:20,572
Oh, my god!

1779
01:11:20,822 --> 01:11:21,990
Danny: Get the cookies!

1780
01:11:22,324 --> 01:11:23,909
Katherine: Come on,
sweetheart! You've got it!

1781
01:11:23,992 --> 01:11:25,035
A little bit more,
little bit more.

1782
01:11:27,913 --> 01:11:29,748
Swim! Swim! Katherine:
Oh, my god!

1783
01:11:29,831 --> 01:11:31,166
Eddie: Come on! Just
a little bit more!

1784
01:11:32,584 --> 01:11:34,086
Keep going, Michael!
Don't give up!

1785
01:11:37,965 --> 01:11:39,216
(All cheering)

1786
01:11:40,676 --> 01:11:41,802
Eddie: Very nice!

1787
01:11:42,010 --> 01:11:44,721
That's my boy! Yeah, buddy!

1788
01:11:44,805 --> 01:11:48,433
I did it! I did it! Thank you!

1789
01:11:48,600 --> 01:11:50,143
No way, that was you, buddy.

1790
01:11:50,310 --> 01:11:52,688
That was awesome. Way to go!

1791
01:12:00,988 --> 01:12:02,281
What are we looking at?

1792
01:12:02,531 --> 01:12:05,158
Jeez. Oh, god. Devlin. (Groans)

1793
01:12:06,159 --> 01:12:09,121
Devlin. Oh, god. You
snuck up on me.

1794
01:12:09,371 --> 01:12:10,914
Did I? Oh... yes.

1795
01:12:11,081 --> 01:12:13,584
Do you startle easily?
That's a sign of menopause.

1796
01:12:13,667 --> 01:12:14,668
Hmm...

1797
01:12:14,751 --> 01:12:16,295
Devlin?

1798
01:12:16,336 --> 01:12:18,547
Palmer dodge, this is devlin.

1799
01:12:18,672 --> 01:12:20,716
She and I went to
college together.

1800
01:12:21,383 --> 01:12:23,760
This is Palmer dodge.
Devlin: Aloha, Palmer.

1801
01:12:24,178 --> 01:12:25,721
Is this your daughter?

1802
01:12:26,680 --> 01:12:29,558
No, no, no. I'm actually
the girlfriend.

1803
01:12:29,600 --> 01:12:30,684
Whose girlfriend?

1804
01:12:30,809 --> 01:12:33,228
Yes, hi. (Greets in German)

1805
01:12:33,395 --> 01:12:36,565
I am the dolph. Willkommen.
And you're very beautiful.

1806
01:12:36,648 --> 01:12:38,817
Married, flattered.
Thanks. Where's Danny?

1807
01:12:39,109 --> 01:12:42,571
Danny is in the water teaching
our little boy how to swim.

1808
01:12:42,696 --> 01:12:43,822
(Exclaiming) Hi, doctor!

1809
01:12:44,907 --> 01:12:45,908
He was so sweet.

1810
01:12:46,033 --> 01:12:48,202
You know what's so crazy is
that I have never met anybody

1811
01:12:48,327 --> 01:12:49,703
with the first name
devlin before.

1812
01:12:49,745 --> 01:12:52,414
You know, and here you are,
and your name's devlin and...

1813
01:12:52,581 --> 01:12:53,916
Shark attack!

1814
01:12:55,375 --> 01:12:57,961
We are playing bavarian pool
rugby and now I'm in the lead.

1815
01:12:58,170 --> 01:12:59,379
Okay, bye!

1816
01:13:01,215 --> 01:13:03,759
She's trying to beat
me, but she won't.

1817
01:13:04,092 --> 01:13:05,802
No one can! (Laughing
maniacally)

1818
01:13:05,886 --> 01:13:06,970
This is fun!

1819
01:13:07,179 --> 01:13:09,431
Anyway, something's opened
up in our schedule tonight.

1820
01:13:09,515 --> 01:13:11,099
So, we were wondering
if you and Danny

1821
01:13:11,183 --> 01:13:12,434
were good to go for dinner.

1822
01:13:12,518 --> 01:13:14,770
Oceano's. Seven
o'clock. Oh, no...

1823
01:13:14,895 --> 01:13:18,065
Oh, no, you don't! She's
like a shark. Come on.

1824
01:13:18,524 --> 01:13:20,359
Is it a bad night? Are
you two fighting?

1825
01:13:20,400 --> 01:13:22,069
No! We're not fighting.

1826
01:13:22,152 --> 01:13:24,279
No, we just, we're
delighting. We're just fine.

1827
01:13:24,321 --> 01:13:27,074
No, that's great. Tonight's
gonna happen. Yeah, perfect.

1828
01:13:27,157 --> 01:13:28,951
Perfect. Anyway,
see you tonight!

1829
01:13:28,992 --> 01:13:30,244
Okay, devlin.

1830
01:13:30,369 --> 01:13:32,412
Oh, my god! Dolph,
let her breathe!

1831
01:13:32,538 --> 01:13:34,540
Yes, I... (Shrieks)

1832
01:13:34,957 --> 01:13:36,083
Dolph! What?

1833
01:13:36,208 --> 01:13:37,251
What was that?

1834
01:13:37,543 --> 01:13:39,169
(Faking shock)

1835
01:13:39,253 --> 01:13:41,630
I was... were you under...

1836
01:13:43,048 --> 01:13:45,217
I don't understand. Why
would you say yes?

1837
01:13:45,300 --> 01:13:48,095
Because I didn't know,
I didn't say no.

1838
01:13:48,303 --> 01:13:50,848
I'm not leaving here.
What would I tell Palmer?

1839
01:13:55,477 --> 01:13:56,728
(Groaning)

1840
01:13:58,272 --> 01:13:59,648
What's going on, sweetie?

1841
01:14:00,232 --> 01:14:03,735
So, today, you know, with
dolph pushing me in the pool.

1842
01:14:03,819 --> 01:14:05,153
It was weird, right?

1843
01:14:05,612 --> 01:14:07,364
No, no, no. He's a sheepherder.

1844
01:14:07,447 --> 01:14:08,782
That's what those
guys do, you know?

1845
01:14:08,824 --> 01:14:10,742
They do a lot of horseplay

1846
01:14:10,826 --> 01:14:12,744
and that's kind of
initiation time for you.

1847
01:14:12,911 --> 01:14:14,413
You're in the gang, I think.

1848
01:14:15,455 --> 01:14:17,040
Okay. Yeah.

1849
01:14:17,666 --> 01:14:19,877
Well, I was thinking
for tonight,

1850
01:14:20,002 --> 01:14:23,213
maybe we could have a
little me and you time?

1851
01:14:23,297 --> 01:14:24,590
Oh!

1852
01:14:26,842 --> 01:14:29,178
I'll get my rubber duck
and see you in a sec.

1853
01:14:30,470 --> 01:14:32,806
Yeah, no, I'm not
doing this tonight.

1854
01:14:32,931 --> 01:14:35,017
It's like my first night
alone with the girl.

1855
01:14:35,142 --> 01:14:36,852
All I'm asking you is one favor!

1856
01:14:37,019 --> 01:14:40,606
Just get this one dinner
with me so I can save face

1857
01:14:40,689 --> 01:14:43,275
with this horrible,
heinous human being.

1858
01:14:43,400 --> 01:14:44,526
What am I gonna tell Palmer?

1859
01:14:44,651 --> 01:14:45,861
Would you just put
her on the phone?

1860
01:14:46,236 --> 01:14:47,529
(Bye, bye, bye playing)

1861
01:14:48,488 --> 01:14:49,990
(Singing along)

1862
01:14:50,657 --> 01:14:51,867
Oh, god.

1863
01:14:52,159 --> 01:14:54,036
Tell me she is not
listening to 'n sync.

1864
01:14:54,119 --> 01:14:56,914
No, no, no. It's coming
from the elevator.

1865
01:14:57,206 --> 01:14:58,290
Hey!

1866
01:14:58,373 --> 01:15:00,000
Danny, that is my jam.

1867
01:15:00,709 --> 01:15:02,294
Someone on the phone for you.

1868
01:15:02,503 --> 01:15:04,004
I don't know who. Palmer: Okay.

1869
01:15:04,880 --> 01:15:06,048
Hello?

1870
01:15:06,590 --> 01:15:07,674
What is that?

1871
01:15:07,758 --> 01:15:09,051
It's Palmer. So?

1872
01:15:09,176 --> 01:15:10,886
I need you to get on the phone.
I need you to ask her out.

1873
01:15:10,969 --> 01:15:12,721
I need you to take her as far away
from the hotel for the entire night.

1874
01:15:12,804 --> 01:15:13,931
Would you please
just do this for me?

1875
01:15:14,014 --> 01:15:16,642
No, I'm already eating. I
just wanna hang out. Ow!

1876
01:15:16,808 --> 01:15:18,477
Seriously, I need you.
What are you doing? No.

1877
01:15:18,560 --> 01:15:20,145
Ow! My gosh.

1878
01:15:20,229 --> 01:15:21,980
Take it. All right.

1879
01:15:22,856 --> 01:15:24,191
Go for dolph.

1880
01:15:24,691 --> 01:15:25,817
It's dolph.

1881
01:15:26,068 --> 01:15:27,194
Okay, I got an idea.

1882
01:15:27,361 --> 01:15:29,196
How about you and me,

1883
01:15:29,279 --> 01:15:31,990
we go and get the
dinner tonight?

1884
01:15:32,074 --> 01:15:33,158
To supper?

1885
01:15:33,200 --> 01:15:34,493
Tonight?

1886
01:15:34,535 --> 01:15:35,786
Yes, and we get to
know each other,

1887
01:15:35,869 --> 01:15:37,746
because I think it's
important for the kids

1888
01:15:37,871 --> 01:15:41,375
to have good symmetry
in the family unit.

1889
01:15:41,500 --> 01:15:43,585
Yeah, hang on. Let
me check with Danny.

1890
01:15:44,086 --> 01:15:45,879
Dolph wants to do
dinner tonight.

1891
01:15:46,213 --> 01:15:47,756
No. No, no, no.

1892
01:15:47,840 --> 01:15:49,216
All right, tell him yeah.

1893
01:15:51,176 --> 01:15:52,511
Yeah, that's fine.

1894
01:15:53,345 --> 01:15:55,556
Awesome. Thank you so much.

1895
01:15:56,056 --> 01:15:57,391
What am I supposed to
say to her all night?

1896
01:15:57,641 --> 01:16:02,187
You spout crazy nonsense for
hours in eurotrashenese.

1897
01:16:02,479 --> 01:16:05,607
Just do it, but just do it
far away from the hotel.

1898
01:16:05,691 --> 01:16:07,067
Okay, fine, I'll do it,

1899
01:16:07,150 --> 01:16:09,611
but if I do good, can I
sleep in the bed with you?

1900
01:16:10,279 --> 01:16:13,532
No. Why? You've got a
great private room.

1901
01:16:15,993 --> 01:16:16,034
(Hawaiian music playing)

1902
01:16:16,076 --> 01:16:17,744
(Hawaiian music playing)

1903
01:16:26,086 --> 01:16:28,297
Hmm, really? Because when
we were in the napa valley,

1904
01:16:28,422 --> 01:16:30,841
they said that wasn't a good
time of year for Merlot.

1905
01:16:31,133 --> 01:16:34,219
Oh. How about the
verite cabernet?

1906
01:16:34,761 --> 01:16:36,346
Isn't cabernet really grapey?

1907
01:16:36,430 --> 01:16:38,599
I mean, I like grapey,
but not overly grapey.

1908
01:16:38,640 --> 01:16:40,601
Did you go over the index cards?

1909
01:16:40,934 --> 01:16:42,728
I glanced at them, yes.

1910
01:16:42,895 --> 01:16:43,937
You glanced at them?

1911
01:16:44,104 --> 01:16:45,480
I graduated med school

1912
01:16:45,564 --> 01:16:48,066
without reading a
book. Just relax.

1913
01:16:48,150 --> 01:16:50,319
Just give us the most
expensive bottle you have

1914
01:16:50,360 --> 01:16:52,070
and it'll probably
be good enough.

1915
01:16:52,154 --> 01:16:53,363
Perfect!

1916
01:16:53,780 --> 01:16:57,826
Look at us, Katherine. Both
so happily married. I mean...

1917
01:16:58,076 --> 01:16:59,620
Can you believe it?

1918
01:17:00,120 --> 01:17:02,247
Everything I always
hoped for, right, yogi?

1919
01:17:02,331 --> 01:17:03,457
Mmm. Boo-boo.

1920
01:17:03,498 --> 01:17:05,292
My yogi bear. My boo-boo.

1921
01:17:07,711 --> 01:17:08,879
Ian: Never enough.

1922
01:17:10,130 --> 01:17:11,548
(Cell phone chiming)

1923
01:17:15,469 --> 01:17:16,678
(Murmuring)

1924
01:17:17,971 --> 01:17:19,139
(Cell phone chiming)

1925
01:17:23,227 --> 01:17:24,311
Ian: Hold on a second.

1926
01:17:25,354 --> 01:17:27,898
I love the way you smell.

1927
01:17:28,023 --> 01:17:30,526
Nothing smells as
good as devlin.

1928
01:17:30,984 --> 01:17:33,987
Smelling devlin,
always a good thing.

1929
01:17:34,071 --> 01:17:35,113
(Both laughing)

1930
01:17:40,118 --> 01:17:41,495
This is really where
we're eating?

1931
01:17:41,745 --> 01:17:43,205
Oh, yes. No, the hotel says

1932
01:17:43,288 --> 01:17:46,083
it's amazing und very far
away. Yeah, it's good.

1933
01:17:46,375 --> 01:17:48,418
Hey. I want that car.

1934
01:17:48,502 --> 01:17:49,962
I'll give you two
chickens for it.

1935
01:17:50,587 --> 01:17:52,923
Two chickens, that's
very nice of you, but...

1936
01:17:53,006 --> 01:17:54,091
don't be scared.

1937
01:17:54,216 --> 01:17:55,384
We're just here for dinner.

1938
01:17:55,467 --> 01:17:57,803
Also, this car's worth
about 10,000 chickens.

1939
01:17:58,554 --> 01:18:00,013
Don't pour over me.

1940
01:18:00,264 --> 01:18:01,431
Don't pour over me.

1941
01:18:02,683 --> 01:18:04,434
I'll bring my glass to you.

1942
01:18:05,227 --> 01:18:08,522
So, Danny, you're a
plastic surgeon. Yes.

1943
01:18:09,064 --> 01:18:10,607
Very convenient for
you, Katherine.

1944
01:18:10,941 --> 01:18:12,609
Danny: No, this girl's
had nothing done.

1945
01:18:12,693 --> 01:18:14,069
She's just a natural beauty.

1946
01:18:14,152 --> 01:18:15,320
She really is. Sweetie.

1947
01:18:15,445 --> 01:18:17,906
What about me? What
would you do to fix me?

1948
01:18:18,615 --> 01:18:19,950
Professionally speaking?

1949
01:18:20,075 --> 01:18:21,702
Nothing. I wouldn't
do a thing to you.

1950
01:18:21,785 --> 01:18:22,911
Nothing?

1951
01:18:23,078 --> 01:18:24,621
You're too sweet.

1952
01:18:25,163 --> 01:18:27,040
They already took too much
fat out of your arms,

1953
01:18:27,082 --> 01:18:28,458
but that's what sleeves are for.

1954
01:18:29,626 --> 01:18:31,461
So, where did you two meet?

1955
01:18:32,796 --> 01:18:35,674
We just, we met at a concert.

1956
01:18:35,757 --> 01:18:36,967
Sting. Yeah.

1957
01:18:37,050 --> 01:18:38,969
Live at the index card.

1958
01:18:39,261 --> 01:18:41,680
It was a benefit for
the rainforest.

1959
01:18:42,598 --> 01:18:44,391
(Carmina burana playing)

1960
01:18:44,474 --> 01:18:45,684
Someone's on the phone for you.

1961
01:18:45,726 --> 01:18:47,519
I think it's the
guy from the omen.

1962
01:18:49,938 --> 01:18:51,648
Go for the iman.

1963
01:18:52,566 --> 01:18:53,650
Hold on a second.

1964
01:18:53,775 --> 01:18:56,486
Can I say something before you
say what you're gonna say?

1965
01:18:56,987 --> 01:19:00,365
Seeing the man who invented
the iPod, on the iPhone,

1966
01:19:00,449 --> 01:19:02,826
saying, "go for the
iman..." Yeah.

1967
01:19:02,910 --> 01:19:04,953
That was like
watching Ronald McDonald

1968
01:19:05,037 --> 01:19:06,747
eat a cheeseburger
off the grimace.

1969
01:19:06,830 --> 01:19:09,041
I'm serious. That was serious
stuff. Katherine: It's so true.

1970
01:19:09,082 --> 01:19:13,003
That, to me, was like watching
Dr. Kevorkian kill himself.

1971
01:19:13,086 --> 01:19:14,171
Oh, no.

1972
01:19:14,296 --> 01:19:16,715
I'm sorry. This is one
of my foundations.

1973
01:19:16,798 --> 01:19:18,258
I've gotta take this.

1974
01:19:18,926 --> 01:19:21,803
Your virtue, your
intelligence, your passion.

1975
01:19:21,970 --> 01:19:25,974
Your beauty, your drive,
and your womanhood.

1976
01:19:29,603 --> 01:19:30,812
(Sighs heavily)

1977
01:19:32,773 --> 01:19:35,526
It's something we do
whenever the other leaves.

1978
01:19:35,609 --> 01:19:37,778
We say what we love
most about the other.

1979
01:19:37,819 --> 01:19:39,488
That's really nice.
That's big. I like that.

1980
01:19:39,613 --> 01:19:40,864
You guys should try it.

1981
01:19:41,156 --> 01:19:43,784
Yes, we should. We should.
We'll try that later.

1982
01:19:43,867 --> 01:19:45,702
We have to. Not
everyone can do it.

1983
01:19:46,453 --> 01:19:47,955
We'll do it now.

1984
01:19:48,080 --> 01:19:50,123
Right now. Okay.

1985
01:19:50,457 --> 01:19:52,292
So, broke and penniless,

1986
01:19:52,376 --> 01:19:55,087
I took to the streets
to sell my wares.

1987
01:19:55,337 --> 01:19:57,506
And by wares, I mean my body.

1988
01:19:57,798 --> 01:20:00,050
And by body, I
mean my schnitzel.

1989
01:20:00,342 --> 01:20:01,468
Mmm.

1990
01:20:01,552 --> 01:20:03,762
Help! Is there a
veterinarian in the house?

1991
01:20:03,846 --> 01:20:06,348
My pet sheep, he passed
out. He's not breathing!

1992
01:20:06,431 --> 01:20:07,724
I don't know what's
wrong with him!

1993
01:20:08,225 --> 01:20:11,687
Him! Him! He's not a vet, but
he sells sheep for a living.

1994
01:20:12,563 --> 01:20:13,981
Oh, me, yes.

1995
01:20:14,314 --> 01:20:16,400
I do, yes. I am that.

1996
01:20:16,483 --> 01:20:17,651
Please come this way!

1997
01:20:18,068 --> 01:20:19,194
Now? Yes!

1998
01:20:19,319 --> 01:20:20,404
This way, this way!

1999
01:20:20,487 --> 01:20:21,655
What is this?

2000
01:20:21,864 --> 01:20:23,699
Is that a real sheep?

2001
01:20:26,743 --> 01:20:28,036
Okay.

2002
01:20:29,037 --> 01:20:30,247
Yes, um...

2003
01:20:31,415 --> 01:20:32,916
Hello...

2004
01:20:33,041 --> 01:20:34,168
Yes?

2005
01:20:36,587 --> 01:20:40,215
Yes, in my expert opinion,
that sheep is dead.

2006
01:20:40,424 --> 01:20:41,550
I'm very sorry.

2007
01:20:41,717 --> 01:20:43,510
Let's go eat. Okay,
show's over. Let's go.

2008
01:20:43,635 --> 01:20:44,761
(Bleating)

2009
01:20:44,803 --> 01:20:46,388
Oh! He's still alive!

2010
01:20:46,471 --> 01:20:47,681
Please, you have
to do something!

2011
01:20:47,931 --> 01:20:49,725
Oh, shit on me.

2012
01:20:50,267 --> 01:20:52,186
You look each other in the eyes

2013
01:20:52,269 --> 01:20:55,022
and you say what you love
about the other. Mmm-hmm.

2014
01:20:55,105 --> 01:20:58,233
We can't just say it? We gotta
look at each other for this thing?

2015
01:20:58,317 --> 01:21:00,194
Okay. Yes. We're so ready.

2016
01:21:00,444 --> 01:21:01,612
Are you ready?

2017
01:21:01,904 --> 01:21:02,946
Go ahead.

2018
01:21:03,363 --> 01:21:05,324
You're on. Okay.

2019
01:21:05,407 --> 01:21:06,783
Come on.

2020
01:21:08,160 --> 01:21:09,161
Um...

2021
01:21:12,623 --> 01:21:14,208
I love your sense of humor.

2022
01:21:14,291 --> 01:21:16,460
You do? Mmm-hmm.

2023
01:21:16,543 --> 01:21:17,878
All of it?

2024
01:21:18,212 --> 01:21:20,631
Every dirty bit of it.

2025
01:21:22,049 --> 01:21:24,551
I love your, uh, stories.

2026
01:21:24,635 --> 01:21:26,970
Yes. They can go long,
but... it's okay.

2027
01:21:27,137 --> 01:21:29,139
I try to finish strong.
Always entertaining.

2028
01:21:30,933 --> 01:21:32,601
And I love that you...

2029
01:21:33,435 --> 01:21:35,604
Love that you read
the index cards.

2030
01:21:36,563 --> 01:21:37,981
Of course.

2031
01:21:39,608 --> 01:21:41,944
And I love that you secretly

2032
01:21:42,986 --> 01:21:45,781
have a huge heart,

2033
01:21:47,199 --> 01:21:51,578
and it's just filled
with kindness

2034
01:21:53,455 --> 01:21:55,290
and humility.

2035
01:21:55,749 --> 01:21:57,042
And blood?

2036
01:21:57,292 --> 01:21:59,461
I'm sure there's blood.

2037
01:22:03,340 --> 01:22:05,092
I don't know, I...

2038
01:22:06,134 --> 01:22:10,973
I just think you're a really
nice person and I really like...

2039
01:22:12,599 --> 01:22:14,977
I really love spending
time with you.

2040
01:22:16,478 --> 01:22:18,272
That's good enough
for me right there.

2041
01:22:18,355 --> 01:22:19,606
Yeah, game over.

2042
01:22:20,607 --> 01:22:22,150
Danny?

2043
01:22:22,401 --> 01:22:24,444
Game back on? We gotta...

2044
01:22:24,820 --> 01:22:25,821
Um...

2045
01:22:26,321 --> 01:22:28,991
Well, I'd like to
start off by saying

2046
01:22:29,074 --> 01:22:33,036
that I love the most that
you fixed your teeth.

2047
01:22:33,120 --> 01:22:35,038
(Laughs) Why did I know that...

2048
01:22:35,289 --> 01:22:37,457
They were horrible, I agree.

2049
01:22:38,876 --> 01:22:40,419
No, no. Um...

2050
01:22:41,545 --> 01:22:43,172
You know what I love? Mmm-hmm?

2051
01:22:43,547 --> 01:22:46,008
How you just do everything
for everybody else

2052
01:22:46,133 --> 01:22:47,801
and you never expect
anything back.

2053
01:22:48,051 --> 01:22:52,139
In fact, when I say thank you, I
don't know, do you hear that or not?

2054
01:22:53,015 --> 01:22:54,391
It's cute.

2055
01:22:54,558 --> 01:22:56,018
And I love...

2056
01:22:57,394 --> 01:22:58,687
I just love...

2057
01:23:00,898 --> 01:23:03,650
You're the only person I've
never lied to in my life.

2058
01:23:03,859 --> 01:23:05,485
I swear to god.

2059
01:23:06,695 --> 01:23:09,698
I just trust you more than
anybody in the world.

2060
01:23:10,199 --> 01:23:11,909
You know every secret about me.

2061
01:23:15,913 --> 01:23:17,372
I love your smile.

2062
01:23:17,539 --> 01:23:20,042
That smile is the magic.

2063
01:23:20,751 --> 01:23:23,086
When I'm in the operating
room all I think about is,

2064
01:23:23,253 --> 01:23:27,216
"all right, 20 more minutes,
I get to see the smile."

2065
01:23:27,799 --> 01:23:29,218
It's just like...

2066
01:23:29,885 --> 01:23:32,721
It starts my day, that smile.

2067
01:23:40,687 --> 01:23:42,481
I won best smile at our sorority

2068
01:23:42,523 --> 01:23:44,483
three years straight,
right, Katherine?

2069
01:23:46,235 --> 01:23:47,903
Not little bucky here.

2070
01:23:53,575 --> 01:23:57,246
Okay, here we go! Hi, yes! Wee!

2071
01:23:57,371 --> 01:23:59,039
We do the sheep dance, right?

2072
01:23:59,081 --> 01:24:00,916
We want to live and
dance more, yes.

2073
01:24:01,041 --> 01:24:03,210
Okay, all right. Here
we go. Eat some food.

2074
01:24:03,293 --> 01:24:05,379
Eat the food. Come
on, here we go.

2075
01:24:05,420 --> 01:24:06,547
Couple more zings.

2076
01:24:06,630 --> 01:24:08,465
Make the milk. Yes,
he makes the milk.

2077
01:24:08,549 --> 01:24:10,843
You love it. You give
milk to the baby.

2078
01:24:10,968 --> 01:24:13,929
All right. One, two,
three, here we go!

2079
01:24:14,888 --> 01:24:16,139
Come on!

2080
01:24:16,390 --> 01:24:17,975
We got a couple things
that I know how to do!

2081
01:24:18,058 --> 01:24:19,184
(All exclaiming)

2082
01:24:19,268 --> 01:24:21,270
Yes, this is a good
test, so why not?

2083
01:24:22,145 --> 01:24:24,064
All right. Here we go.

2084
01:24:26,149 --> 01:24:27,609
You're killing him!

2085
01:24:28,277 --> 01:24:29,945
(Shouting fake German)

2086
01:24:33,073 --> 01:24:34,074
(Squeaks)

2087
01:24:34,908 --> 01:24:37,035
(All cheering)

2088
01:24:37,119 --> 01:24:39,830
The sheep lives!
The sheep lives!

2089
01:24:39,955 --> 01:24:41,623
Yes! Here we go, one more time.

2090
01:24:41,707 --> 01:24:43,125
Here we go. Yes!

2091
01:24:44,001 --> 01:24:46,461
This is what I did.
You saw this. Yes!

2092
01:24:46,503 --> 01:24:48,505
Welcome. I am
Tanner Patrick, Jr.

2093
01:24:48,630 --> 01:24:53,093
We're ready for the legendary
oceano's hula competition.

2094
01:24:53,427 --> 01:24:54,720
Legendary? Never heard of it!

2095
01:24:55,345 --> 01:24:56,346
(Laughs)

2096
01:24:56,638 --> 01:24:59,266
Legendary like the day you
were once sober. So...

2097
01:24:59,349 --> 01:25:00,684
(All laughing)

2098
01:25:00,767 --> 01:25:02,936
She talks the talk, who
will walk the walk

2099
01:25:03,145 --> 01:25:05,856
and walk with me to the
ladies' lounge? Feeling it...

2100
01:25:05,981 --> 01:25:07,941
I think you should do
it, devlin. (Scoffs)

2101
01:25:08,025 --> 01:25:09,526
Because she would win.

2102
01:25:09,610 --> 01:25:10,611
(Devlin cackling)

2103
01:25:12,154 --> 01:25:14,156
I'll do it! Oh! Good show!

2104
01:25:14,239 --> 01:25:16,325
Katherine? How about you?

2105
01:25:16,491 --> 01:25:19,203
Come on, this isn't Katherine's
thing. Right, Katherine?

2106
01:25:19,369 --> 01:25:23,040
No, no, not my... her
speed. Not mine.

2107
01:25:23,373 --> 01:25:24,917
Some people are just
more comfortable

2108
01:25:25,000 --> 01:25:26,919
on the sidelines, so
don't judge her, honey.

2109
01:25:27,544 --> 01:25:30,339
Your honesty, your fearlessness,
and your tickle spot.

2110
01:25:30,547 --> 01:25:33,759
Your creativity, your bravery,
and your Taffy nipples.

2111
01:25:33,800 --> 01:25:34,801
(Exclaims)

2112
01:25:34,968 --> 01:25:37,012
Let's go! How do I
win this thing?

2113
01:25:37,846 --> 01:25:39,139
I'm gonna do this hula thing.

2114
01:25:39,389 --> 01:25:40,807
Oh, don't feel any
pressure, Katherine.

2115
01:25:41,016 --> 01:25:43,185
I'm not the one who
should feel the pressure.

2116
01:25:46,021 --> 01:25:50,567
Ladies and gentlemen, a warm
welcome for tonight's hula girls.

2117
01:25:50,859 --> 01:25:52,319
(All cheering)

2118
01:25:55,155 --> 01:25:57,407
These are my stars.
And here's the key,

2119
01:25:57,491 --> 01:25:59,910
you decide how brightly
they shine tonight.

2120
01:26:00,118 --> 01:26:02,079
You the audience,
judge and jury.

2121
01:26:02,120 --> 01:26:03,705
I like what I see.

2122
01:26:03,789 --> 01:26:05,457
(Slow Hawaiian music playing)

2123
01:26:06,583 --> 01:26:09,044
This is my hula palooza.

2124
01:26:09,670 --> 01:26:11,129
You're the judges.

2125
01:26:11,213 --> 01:26:14,550
You're voting for your
favorite hula girl.

2126
01:26:15,342 --> 01:26:16,510
How about we do one over here?

2127
01:26:16,718 --> 01:26:18,971
Can I get a little something-something
up here in the corner?

2128
01:26:19,513 --> 01:26:21,306
(Scattered applause)

2129
01:26:21,390 --> 01:26:23,350
Has anybody got a
conscience here tonight?

2130
01:26:23,433 --> 01:26:25,269
Come on, you did
well. You did well.

2131
01:26:25,769 --> 01:26:26,770
All: Aw!

2132
01:26:27,271 --> 01:26:28,355
Tanner: It's tough.

2133
01:26:28,730 --> 01:26:30,440
What do I got over
here? Anybody?

2134
01:26:31,275 --> 01:26:33,443
How tall do you
think that guy is?

2135
01:26:33,777 --> 01:26:35,445
Who? The Tanner
guy? I don't know.

2136
01:26:35,612 --> 01:26:36,655
Yeah, that Tanner.

2137
01:26:36,738 --> 01:26:38,490
Looks pretty tall, I'd
say he's like 6'3".

2138
01:26:38,615 --> 01:26:39,700
Yeah, I don't know.

2139
01:26:39,908 --> 01:26:41,702
Can I get a positive reaction?

2140
01:26:41,869 --> 01:26:43,161
(All cheering)

2141
01:26:43,245 --> 01:26:44,454
Thank you.

2142
01:26:45,122 --> 01:26:48,917
How about this little girl? Let's
make her night. How about it?

2143
01:26:49,042 --> 01:26:51,170
I like it. Keep the mojo going.

2144
01:26:51,253 --> 01:26:52,796
How about big country
in the corner?

2145
01:26:52,963 --> 01:26:54,214
Do I got...

2146
01:26:56,049 --> 01:26:57,050
Sorry.

2147
01:26:57,134 --> 01:26:58,468
This is fixed!

2148
01:26:59,261 --> 01:27:01,471
Tall fellow is
lucky to get away.

2149
01:27:01,930 --> 01:27:03,932
Tanner: Let's pick
up the tempo, boys.

2150
01:27:04,099 --> 01:27:05,475
(Music speeds up)
What? What is that?

2151
01:27:05,851 --> 01:27:07,019
(Exclaiming)

2152
01:27:09,146 --> 01:27:11,106
Okay. This is a lot faster.

2153
01:27:22,034 --> 01:27:23,327
(Cheering)

2154
01:27:32,920 --> 01:27:34,171
(Cheering)

2155
01:27:44,473 --> 01:27:45,641
Fabulous!

2156
01:27:55,817 --> 01:27:57,110
(All cheering)

2157
01:27:57,194 --> 01:27:58,779
Yeah, baby!

2158
01:28:06,703 --> 01:28:07,955
(Cheering)

2159
01:28:16,547 --> 01:28:17,714
Katherine: What?

2160
01:28:19,341 --> 01:28:20,509
Come on.

2161
01:28:26,807 --> 01:28:28,183
(Exclaiming)

2162
01:28:36,149 --> 01:28:37,901
Nobody got cheated here tonight.

2163
01:28:38,026 --> 01:28:39,611
These are two of
the hottest chicks

2164
01:28:39,695 --> 01:28:41,446
we have ever had up here.

2165
01:28:41,530 --> 01:28:42,906
But our job is not done.

2166
01:28:42,990 --> 01:28:46,827
I need your help, because
I need a winner.

2167
01:28:46,910 --> 01:28:47,995
Let me hear you.

2168
01:28:48,078 --> 01:28:49,454
(Cheering)

2169
01:28:49,538 --> 01:28:50,914
Beautiful!

2170
01:28:51,540 --> 01:28:53,250
Wow, that is gonna
be tough to beat.

2171
01:28:53,333 --> 01:28:56,170
Let's not kid anybody.
How about over here?

2172
01:28:56,545 --> 01:28:58,505
(Cheering loudly)

2173
01:28:59,173 --> 01:29:01,884
There you have it.
We have ourselves...

2174
01:29:02,885 --> 01:29:04,887
That's my boo-boo!

2175
01:29:06,221 --> 01:29:08,557
A tie! We have ourselves a tie.

2176
01:29:08,682 --> 01:29:10,893
That's great. We
both win. Good...

2177
01:29:11,226 --> 01:29:12,519
What's the tiebreaker?

2178
01:29:13,687 --> 01:29:15,689
What's the tiebreaker?

2179
01:29:17,733 --> 01:29:19,943
This is how we settle
ties in my house.

2180
01:29:20,068 --> 01:29:22,112
It's something I like to
call coconut smoochie.

2181
01:29:22,237 --> 01:29:23,697
The object of the game is,

2182
01:29:23,780 --> 01:29:25,782
the coconut is in
their midsections.

2183
01:29:25,908 --> 01:29:27,659
It must move all the
way up to their mouths

2184
01:29:27,743 --> 01:29:28,869
without the use of their hands.

2185
01:29:28,952 --> 01:29:30,037
Focus, focus.

2186
01:29:30,120 --> 01:29:33,582
If you touch the coconut,
you are disqualified.

2187
01:29:33,790 --> 01:29:37,377
Okay. Ready? One, two,
three, get coconutty!

2188
01:29:37,586 --> 01:29:39,421
Okay. Slow.

2189
01:29:41,757 --> 01:29:43,675
Okay, all right. Calm
down, calm down.

2190
01:29:43,800 --> 01:29:44,927
Let me just bring it up to you.

2191
01:29:45,010 --> 01:29:46,011
Okay, do it.

2192
01:29:46,512 --> 01:29:48,430
Get it up there. Come on.

2193
01:29:48,597 --> 01:29:49,932
Bring your coconuts down to me.

2194
01:29:50,098 --> 01:29:51,475
Okay. Oh, my coconuts.

2195
01:29:51,600 --> 01:29:53,268
Pull up. All right. I'm so low.

2196
01:29:53,435 --> 01:29:55,771
Squeeze your coconuts.
Squeeze them.

2197
01:29:55,938 --> 01:29:58,941
Use every crevice you
can. don't be afraid.

2198
01:29:59,107 --> 01:30:00,526
I can't get it up here.

2199
01:30:00,567 --> 01:30:01,944
I'm trying.

2200
01:30:02,319 --> 01:30:03,946
Would you be quiet?

2201
01:30:04,238 --> 01:30:05,989
Stay there. Wait.

2202
01:30:06,114 --> 01:30:08,200
Okay, that's good. Is that good?

2203
01:30:08,617 --> 01:30:09,910
Sorry about this, by the way.

2204
01:30:09,993 --> 01:30:11,286
Really? You're really
sorry about this?

2205
01:30:11,453 --> 01:30:12,829
No, I'm not. I like it.

2206
01:30:13,455 --> 01:30:14,581
(All exclaiming)

2207
01:30:14,665 --> 01:30:15,791
Oh, yeah!

2208
01:30:15,958 --> 01:30:17,000
Pick it up, pick it up!

2209
01:30:17,042 --> 01:30:18,961
Not with your
hands, you buffoon!

2210
01:30:19,086 --> 01:30:20,128
Come on!

2211
01:30:20,295 --> 01:30:23,257
Look what he's doing! What
happened? I can't see.

2212
01:30:23,298 --> 01:30:26,093
Focus. Take it slow,
take it slow.

2213
01:30:26,301 --> 01:30:27,803
He's got it!

2214
01:30:27,928 --> 01:30:29,888
(All cheering)

2215
01:30:29,972 --> 01:30:32,307
That's not fair.
He can't do that.

2216
01:30:32,474 --> 01:30:34,184
No, that's a clean
pick-up right there.

2217
01:30:34,393 --> 01:30:36,103
Okay. Bring it over here.

2218
01:30:37,020 --> 01:30:38,772
(All chanting) Go! Go! Go!

2219
01:30:39,356 --> 01:30:40,607
I got it.

2220
01:30:40,816 --> 01:30:41,984
(Whooping)

2221
01:30:44,319 --> 01:30:45,821
There's still time. Let's go.

2222
01:30:46,029 --> 01:30:47,406
You can touch each other,

2223
01:30:47,447 --> 01:30:48,991
you cannot touch the coconut.

2224
01:30:49,199 --> 01:30:50,325
Hang on, hang on.

2225
01:30:51,493 --> 01:30:53,579
What's going on? What is
that? What do you use?

2226
01:30:53,662 --> 01:30:55,706
What's the hold-up? You still
got that perfume on, huh?

2227
01:30:55,831 --> 01:30:56,874
Would you stop it?

2228
01:30:56,915 --> 01:30:58,041
Smells good. Come on, let's go.

2229
01:30:58,166 --> 01:31:00,169
Have you got it to your
mouth yet, boo-boo?

2230
01:31:00,335 --> 01:31:03,881
Stop putting your
ass in my face.

2231
01:31:04,047 --> 01:31:06,508
Tanner: I like it.
That's my girl. Okay.

2232
01:31:07,509 --> 01:31:09,469
(Audience cheering)

2233
01:31:09,553 --> 01:31:12,639
We've got a winner! We have
a winner! We have a winner.

2234
01:31:13,390 --> 01:31:16,018
Coconut smoochie
champions right here.

2235
01:31:17,060 --> 01:31:18,187
Awesome.

2236
01:31:18,228 --> 01:31:20,230
You suck at everything!

2237
01:31:21,481 --> 01:31:22,649
Boo-boo.

2238
01:31:23,066 --> 01:31:24,359
Great teamwork, guys.

2239
01:31:24,401 --> 01:31:25,777
How long have you
two been married?

2240
01:31:25,903 --> 01:31:27,613
Eight years. Ten years.

2241
01:31:27,696 --> 01:31:29,114
Ten years. Eight.

2242
01:31:29,239 --> 01:31:30,908
Very long time. A
very long time.

2243
01:31:31,200 --> 01:31:31,241
Katherine: Did you see the
look on her face? Danny: Yes.

2244
01:31:31,283 --> 01:31:33,327
Katherine: Did you see the
look on her face? Danny: Yes.

2245
01:31:33,410 --> 01:31:35,579
Do you understand what
joy that brought me?

2246
01:31:35,704 --> 01:31:37,039
How about the look on her face

2247
01:31:37,080 --> 01:31:38,332
when you were doing
the juggling, though?

2248
01:31:38,415 --> 01:31:39,750
The juggling was the
highlight for me.

2249
01:31:39,833 --> 01:31:41,293
That was pretty good.
You liked that?

2250
01:31:41,376 --> 01:31:42,461
It was so cute.

2251
01:31:42,586 --> 01:31:44,796
And when you talked about
her arms getting done?

2252
01:31:44,880 --> 01:31:46,632
The good news is she's
beating the hell

2253
01:31:46,715 --> 01:31:47,883
out of the iPod guy right now.

2254
01:31:48,050 --> 01:31:49,092
Right now, I know.

2255
01:31:50,594 --> 01:31:52,679
That was good. That
was really fun.

2256
01:31:52,888 --> 01:31:55,390
You know what, I think
that was the first time

2257
01:31:55,474 --> 01:31:56,892
that you and I have ever

2258
01:31:58,060 --> 01:32:01,271
gone out, you know, just us.

2259
01:32:01,438 --> 01:32:02,731
I know. I do.

2260
01:32:02,814 --> 01:32:04,399
I feel bad for the
soul patch now.

2261
01:32:05,108 --> 01:32:06,151
I do.

2262
01:32:06,276 --> 01:32:07,736
Now that you've been
out with a real man.

2263
01:32:07,903 --> 01:32:10,197
And by a real man, I
mean a man who showers.

2264
01:32:10,280 --> 01:32:11,823
(Laughing)

2265
01:32:12,449 --> 01:32:15,160
I think it's so adorable

2266
01:32:15,244 --> 01:32:17,746
how obsessed you
are with this guy.

2267
01:32:17,788 --> 01:32:20,040
I just can't picture you guys on
a date, you know what I mean?

2268
01:32:20,207 --> 01:32:21,917
Who said it was a date ever?

2269
01:32:22,084 --> 01:32:23,418
You. You.

2270
01:32:23,627 --> 01:32:25,754
You get very excited when
you talk to this man.

2271
01:32:25,879 --> 01:32:29,800
Listen, Dr. gervitz is moving
his practice to New York City.

2272
01:32:29,883 --> 01:32:30,926
Yeah.

2273
01:32:31,009 --> 01:32:33,595
Brian is not gonna go
with him, and he...

2274
01:32:33,804 --> 01:32:36,473
He's just been asking me if

2275
01:32:37,307 --> 01:32:40,477
I would want to, you
know, replace him.

2276
01:32:40,978 --> 01:32:42,312
You're going?

2277
01:32:42,938 --> 01:32:44,106
No.

2278
01:32:44,481 --> 01:32:45,941
You can't do that to me.

2279
01:32:46,108 --> 01:32:48,110
I just wanted to see
how you'd react.

2280
01:32:48,193 --> 01:32:50,445
Look at you. You can't
live without me.

2281
01:32:50,612 --> 01:32:52,030
"What do I do? How do I sign it?"

2282
01:32:52,114 --> 01:32:53,407
"How do I pay for it?"

2283
01:32:53,490 --> 01:32:56,326
No. You kind of played with
me a little bit, though.

2284
01:32:56,451 --> 01:32:59,121
You could've told
me that earlier.

2285
01:32:59,204 --> 01:33:00,664
You're just messing with me?

2286
01:33:00,747 --> 01:33:02,499
Trying to get me a little
jealous, weren't you?

2287
01:33:02,624 --> 01:33:05,460
No. I just was having
fun teasing you.

2288
01:33:05,669 --> 01:33:08,088
That was fun. Why?
Were you jealous?

2289
01:33:08,630 --> 01:33:11,925
No. Get outta here.
Was I jealous? No.

2290
01:33:12,009 --> 01:33:15,721
Look at you. You're grinning, you
can't stop, what is that smile?

2291
01:33:15,804 --> 01:33:17,306
I didn't know you had
that many teeth.

2292
01:33:17,472 --> 01:33:20,100
I know. I got like 55 teeth.

2293
01:33:20,184 --> 01:33:21,560
(Both laughing)

2294
01:33:22,019 --> 01:33:23,729
No. So there's nothing?

2295
01:33:24,354 --> 01:33:26,481
You and... there's nothing?

2296
01:33:26,815 --> 01:33:27,983
No love connection?

2297
01:33:28,192 --> 01:33:30,360
No. Mmm-mmm. Nothing.

2298
01:33:30,485 --> 01:33:32,529
Well, then, that's a shame.

2299
01:33:32,738 --> 01:33:33,780
What?

2300
01:33:34,323 --> 01:33:36,867
That coconut getting
in the way tonight.

2301
01:33:37,075 --> 01:33:38,285
That's a shame, don't
you think? Oh.

2302
01:33:38,452 --> 01:33:40,037
No. No, that was bad.

2303
01:33:40,204 --> 01:33:41,246
The coconut.

2304
01:33:41,330 --> 01:33:42,497
You're lucky that
coconut was there.

2305
01:33:42,706 --> 01:33:45,667
You couldn't... you wouldn't
have been able to handle it.

2306
01:33:46,001 --> 01:33:47,503
Maybe you're right.

2307
01:33:50,547 --> 01:33:53,342
You got more tricks that
I don't know about?

2308
01:33:53,509 --> 01:33:54,635
I don't know.

2309
01:33:54,718 --> 01:33:55,844
Okay.

2310
01:33:56,053 --> 01:33:58,263
I don't know anything.

2311
01:33:58,972 --> 01:34:00,015
Mommy? Mommy?

2312
01:34:01,892 --> 01:34:03,477
Hi, guys!

2313
01:34:03,560 --> 01:34:05,354
Hey! What're you doing?

2314
01:34:05,521 --> 01:34:07,314
The babysitter fell asleep.

2315
01:34:07,397 --> 01:34:08,524
Oh, great.

2316
01:34:08,690 --> 01:34:09,816
I mean, come on,

2317
01:34:09,900 --> 01:34:11,527
it's like a Hawaiian Rosa, huh?

2318
01:34:12,361 --> 01:34:13,695
Is it? Oh, my god.

2319
01:34:13,904 --> 01:34:15,030
Danny: Yeah, that's asleep.

2320
01:34:15,113 --> 01:34:16,198
Katherine: Look at that.

2321
01:34:16,240 --> 01:34:17,241
(Clears throat)

2322
01:34:17,282 --> 01:34:19,243
(Barking)

2323
01:34:20,702 --> 01:34:22,538
Danny: Wow. Katherine:
She's out deep.

2324
01:34:22,746 --> 01:34:24,164
All right. Good to see you guys.

2325
01:34:24,331 --> 01:34:25,749
Good night.

2326
01:34:25,999 --> 01:34:28,252
Good job. One more
day of lying, guys.

2327
01:34:28,377 --> 01:34:30,212
We're almost done. Home stretch.

2328
01:34:30,379 --> 01:34:33,090
All right. So, you
gotta go to sleep.

2329
01:34:33,715 --> 01:34:34,758
Yeah.

2330
01:34:34,842 --> 01:34:36,718
Tired? Yes. Good night.

2331
01:34:36,844 --> 01:34:38,595
Okay. That was fun. Good job.

2332
01:34:40,639 --> 01:34:42,099
Good night. Good night.

2333
01:34:42,474 --> 01:34:44,059
Good night. All right.

2334
01:34:44,268 --> 01:34:45,269
Okay, Danny.

2335
01:34:45,894 --> 01:34:47,896
Okay, good luck. I'll
see you in the morning.

2336
01:34:52,317 --> 01:34:53,902
(Pop music playing)

2337
01:35:10,210 --> 01:35:12,379
She ain't going to sleep.

2338
01:35:22,139 --> 01:35:25,767
(Exclaims) Hello!
There he is, Danny!

2339
01:35:25,934 --> 01:35:27,102
It's nice to meet you.

2340
01:35:27,311 --> 01:35:28,437
Where were you going?

2341
01:35:28,520 --> 01:35:29,479
What?

2342
01:35:29,605 --> 01:35:31,481
I was going... I was going to...

2343
01:35:31,648 --> 01:35:32,691
Where were you guys?

2344
01:35:32,774 --> 01:35:33,942
I was looking for you guys at...

2345
01:35:34,151 --> 01:35:35,611
What happened? How
was the dinner?

2346
01:35:36,778 --> 01:35:40,282
Dolph gave mouth-
to-mouth to a sheep.

2347
01:35:40,449 --> 01:35:41,950
Yeah. And then we
had a few drinks.

2348
01:35:42,117 --> 01:35:46,163
Yes. It was choking and
so I gave him sheep-p-r.

2349
01:35:46,205 --> 01:35:47,873
(Both laughing)

2350
01:35:47,956 --> 01:35:50,626
But he was the black
sheep of the family,

2351
01:35:50,834 --> 01:35:54,838
but he was also white,
if that makes any sense.

2352
01:35:55,631 --> 01:35:58,091
And we've been talking about
how amazing this trip has been

2353
01:35:58,175 --> 01:36:00,052
and how amazing you are.

2354
01:36:00,135 --> 01:36:01,678
Yeah, all joking aside,

2355
01:36:01,720 --> 01:36:03,514
it really has been first-class.

2356
01:36:03,680 --> 01:36:06,683
And that, if the kids and I
hadn't kept you so busy,

2357
01:36:06,850 --> 01:36:08,852
that you might've had the
time to do something

2358
01:36:08,977 --> 01:36:10,687
you've been thinking
about doing?

2359
01:36:10,854 --> 01:36:12,856
The one ringy-dingy?

2360
01:36:13,398 --> 01:36:15,984
Uh... yeah, you told
her about that?

2361
01:36:16,485 --> 01:36:19,154
I don't need you to
get me a ring, Danny.

2362
01:36:19,238 --> 01:36:21,532
Let's just get
married. Right here.

2363
01:36:22,074 --> 01:36:23,158
What now?

2364
01:36:23,200 --> 01:36:26,995
Why not? We're in Hawaii.
Let's do it tomorrow.

2365
01:36:27,412 --> 01:36:30,040
I mean, this has felt special
from the moment that we met.

2366
01:36:30,123 --> 01:36:32,084
And I've seen the way that
you are with the kids,

2367
01:36:32,167 --> 01:36:34,920
and it's exactly the way I always
imagined my husband would be.

2368
01:36:35,003 --> 01:36:36,880
Oh, man...

2369
01:36:37,214 --> 01:36:39,091
I don't wanna wait.

2370
01:36:39,132 --> 01:36:41,009
I just wanna start
my life with you.

2371
01:36:44,596 --> 01:36:45,722
Hi!

2372
01:36:46,598 --> 01:36:48,141
(Exclaiming)

2373
01:36:48,225 --> 01:36:51,436
Hi, everybody! Dolph.

2374
01:36:51,854 --> 01:36:52,980
There you are.

2375
01:36:53,021 --> 01:36:55,107
I have been looking
everywhere for you.

2376
01:36:55,274 --> 01:36:58,819
For me? Yes. Come here.
Come on, let's go.

2377
01:36:58,902 --> 01:37:01,029
No way, we can't go. What?

2378
01:37:01,113 --> 01:37:02,656
My little oompa loompa.

2379
01:37:03,073 --> 01:37:07,870
Danny and Palmer, they're
getting married tomorrow!

2380
01:37:09,121 --> 01:37:10,372
What?

2381
01:37:10,455 --> 01:37:12,082
No, no, I mean, why?

2382
01:37:12,165 --> 01:37:14,334
Yeah, we are. But
what do you think?

2383
01:37:14,543 --> 01:37:16,336
What do you mean,
what do I think?

2384
01:37:16,712 --> 01:37:18,463
I mean, what does it
matter what I think?

2385
01:37:18,547 --> 01:37:21,133
I think that's great.

2386
01:37:21,216 --> 01:37:22,843
Thank you, devlin.

2387
01:37:23,218 --> 01:37:24,928
I really hope that you
can be there tomorrow.

2388
01:37:25,429 --> 01:37:26,555
I can't.

2389
01:37:26,680 --> 01:37:28,390
It's really...

2390
01:37:28,473 --> 01:37:31,435
It's bad luck for the ex
to be at the wedding.

2391
01:37:31,560 --> 01:37:32,686
Come on, dolph. Let's go.

2392
01:37:33,395 --> 01:37:34,813
Where are we going?
They are here.

2393
01:37:34,897 --> 01:37:36,064
We gotta have the sweet sex.

2394
01:37:36,273 --> 01:37:37,566
What? Okay? Come on.

2395
01:37:37,733 --> 01:37:40,402
Okay. Congratulations, though.

2396
01:37:43,739 --> 01:37:45,282
(Chasing cars playing)

2397
01:37:57,836 --> 01:37:59,421
Palmer: I'm trying
them on as we speak.

2398
01:37:59,630 --> 01:38:00,839
I know, but I just bought them.

2399
01:38:00,964 --> 01:38:04,760
I had some with me and the one
I have on is pretty amazing.

2400
01:39:10,158 --> 01:39:11,869
(Exclaims)

2401
01:39:11,910 --> 01:39:14,079
(Screaming) Michael!

2402
01:39:16,540 --> 01:39:17,916
Nincompoop!

2403
01:39:19,334 --> 01:39:21,044
Nincompoopenschtic!

2404
01:39:21,211 --> 01:39:23,881
Michael, the crap
is the stinking...

2405
01:39:35,517 --> 01:39:36,727
(Ringing)

2406
01:39:39,688 --> 01:39:40,981
Hello?

2407
01:39:41,064 --> 01:39:42,816
Danny: Hey, you up?

2408
01:39:43,317 --> 01:39:47,070
Hi. Yeah. Glad you called.

2409
01:39:48,238 --> 01:39:49,406
Are you?

2410
01:39:50,365 --> 01:39:51,408
Um...

2411
01:39:51,491 --> 01:39:54,328
Yeah, I was, uh, just
checking flights

2412
01:39:54,494 --> 01:39:57,956
for your parents
tomorrow and I found...

2413
01:39:58,081 --> 01:40:00,501
No, no, no. You don't
have to do that.

2414
01:40:01,043 --> 01:40:02,753
Her parents aren't coming in

2415
01:40:02,836 --> 01:40:05,255
and she wants it to
be kind of elope-y.

2416
01:40:05,881 --> 01:40:07,257
Elope-y.

2417
01:40:07,925 --> 01:40:09,092
Got it.

2418
01:40:09,176 --> 01:40:11,136
Okay, uh, so, are you all set

2419
01:40:11,220 --> 01:40:13,222
for what you need
to wear tomorrow?

2420
01:40:13,889 --> 01:40:16,517
Do you think this
is a good idea?

2421
01:40:17,267 --> 01:40:19,186
What? The wedding?

2422
01:40:19,603 --> 01:40:23,607
Yeah, the wedding... just
the whole Palmer thing.

2423
01:40:26,318 --> 01:40:29,613
Well, that's why we
came out here, right?

2424
01:40:30,280 --> 01:40:31,782
I guess.

2425
01:40:32,950 --> 01:40:34,451
You don't think it's crazy?

2426
01:40:35,619 --> 01:40:36,620
(Sighs)

2427
01:40:38,622 --> 01:40:42,918
Um, Danny, you don't
need my permission.

2428
01:40:44,253 --> 01:40:46,255
Okay? You're a big boy.

2429
01:40:46,463 --> 01:40:47,965
I know, I just...

2430
01:40:52,135 --> 01:40:54,555
I know if I do this that...

2431
01:40:55,514 --> 01:40:58,517
Just, things could get weird

2432
01:40:58,600 --> 01:41:00,894
between you and me
at the office, so...

2433
01:41:01,979 --> 01:41:04,481
Well, you're not gonna
have to worry about that.

2434
01:41:06,817 --> 01:41:08,652
You going to New York?

2435
01:41:08,819 --> 01:41:11,864
Yeah. I just, you
know, I mean...

2436
01:41:12,489 --> 01:41:15,325
As much as I was looking
forward to you, um,

2437
01:41:16,159 --> 01:41:18,579
reconstructing my face,

2438
01:41:20,122 --> 01:41:23,000
I really just need to
start fresh, you know?

2439
01:41:25,836 --> 01:41:27,671
Hello, are you there?

2440
01:41:28,589 --> 01:41:30,132
You understand?

2441
01:41:31,341 --> 01:41:32,801
I guess.

2442
01:41:34,261 --> 01:41:37,181
It's an awful lot of guessing
coming through this phone.

2443
01:41:38,682 --> 01:41:40,559
I've been divorced,
I have two kids,

2444
01:41:40,601 --> 01:41:42,519
I don't have time for guessing.

2445
01:41:47,399 --> 01:41:48,942
Got a big day tomorrow,
doc, all right?

2446
01:41:49,067 --> 01:41:51,945
So why don't you just get
yourself some sleep?

2447
01:42:06,376 --> 01:42:08,545
So that's it. You have
nothing else to worry about.

2448
01:42:08,712 --> 01:42:10,756
We have the flowers, the
music and the location,

2449
01:42:10,881 --> 01:42:13,133
which is ha-wowie, by the
way, you're gonna love it.

2450
01:42:13,300 --> 01:42:15,427
I promise you it is going to be

2451
01:42:15,552 --> 01:42:18,472
the most wonderful day of
your life, guaranteed.

2452
01:42:18,680 --> 01:42:20,474
Devlin. Yeah.

2453
01:42:20,599 --> 01:42:21,808
Oh! Palmer! I didn't...

2454
01:42:25,562 --> 01:42:29,816
Well, you just look
absolutely beautiful.

2455
01:42:30,400 --> 01:42:32,319
Really? Thank you. Yes.

2456
01:42:33,070 --> 01:42:34,571
Devlin, can I ask you something?

2457
01:42:34,655 --> 01:42:35,739
'Course.

2458
01:42:37,074 --> 01:42:38,992
Do you still want
to be with Danny?

2459
01:42:40,577 --> 01:42:41,662
Wait. What?

2460
01:42:41,745 --> 01:42:43,288
Because I think that

2461
01:42:45,082 --> 01:42:48,335
he still may be
in love with you.

2462
01:42:49,837 --> 01:42:51,046
Really?

2463
01:42:53,173 --> 01:42:55,259
Why would you think that?

2464
01:42:55,759 --> 01:42:58,720
He's always glowing
when you're around.

2465
01:42:58,887 --> 01:43:02,182
And he laughs at your jokes.
He doesn't laugh at mine.

2466
01:43:02,349 --> 01:43:06,728
Palmer, trust me, there is
nothing between me and Danny.

2467
01:43:07,020 --> 01:43:08,772
We're just, you know,

2468
01:43:09,314 --> 01:43:10,566
we're familiar.

2469
01:43:12,025 --> 01:43:13,777
And you are the girl for him.

2470
01:43:14,778 --> 01:43:16,280
He even told me that last night.

2471
01:43:16,947 --> 01:43:19,950
My god, devlin, this
is such a relief

2472
01:43:20,284 --> 01:43:23,954
because I could never stand a
chance going up against you.

2473
01:43:24,121 --> 01:43:25,998
Turn around. Tell
me if this fits.

2474
01:43:26,123 --> 01:43:28,166
Put the hanger up your nose.

2475
01:43:28,250 --> 01:43:29,376
(Laughs) Stop!

2476
01:43:40,387 --> 01:43:41,680
Excuse me.

2477
01:43:41,805 --> 01:43:43,223
Here you go. Thank you.

2478
01:43:43,390 --> 01:43:44,641
Katherine!

2479
01:43:44,892 --> 01:43:46,351
Katherine! Oh, devlin.

2480
01:43:46,518 --> 01:43:48,145
That was so much fun last night.

2481
01:43:48,228 --> 01:43:49,313
I know.

2482
01:43:49,646 --> 01:43:52,649
I am still trying to work
out how you cheated.

2483
01:43:53,358 --> 01:43:55,736
I didn't. That's what happened.

2484
01:43:55,986 --> 01:43:58,197
So, where's Danny?

2485
01:44:00,282 --> 01:44:01,491
Devlin...

2486
01:44:02,284 --> 01:44:05,287
Danny's at his wedding.

2487
01:44:05,829 --> 01:44:06,997
Come again?

2488
01:44:07,122 --> 01:44:08,665
I was never married to him.

2489
01:44:10,000 --> 01:44:11,877
All a big lie that I made up.

2490
01:44:12,002 --> 01:44:13,253
Why?

2491
01:44:13,879 --> 01:44:18,509
'Cause I couldn't stand the
thought of you knowing the truth.

2492
01:44:18,550 --> 01:44:19,676
Really?

2493
01:44:20,135 --> 01:44:22,804
So, yeah, I'm a single mother.

2494
01:44:23,388 --> 01:44:24,890
I have two kids that I love

2495
01:44:24,973 --> 01:44:26,391
more than anything in the world.

2496
01:44:26,558 --> 01:44:30,437
I drive a Honda. Still
have dial-up Internet.

2497
01:44:31,021 --> 01:44:34,691
I got a 2.7 gpa in
college, not a 3.4.

2498
01:44:35,442 --> 01:44:36,693
And while I'm at it
telling the truth,

2499
01:44:37,528 --> 01:44:38,904
I named my kids' poop after you.

2500
01:44:41,073 --> 01:44:43,492
And I work for Danny.
I'm his assistant.

2501
01:44:43,534 --> 01:44:44,701
That's it.

2502
01:44:45,160 --> 01:44:48,497
Really, I would never
have guessed this.

2503
01:44:48,539 --> 01:44:50,332
I mean, you two had
a real connection.

2504
01:44:51,542 --> 01:44:55,003
He's great. He's
the greatest guy.

2505
01:44:56,964 --> 01:44:59,633
And I might even be
in love with him,

2506
01:45:00,717 --> 01:45:02,636
but that doesn't really
matter at this moment

2507
01:45:02,719 --> 01:45:07,099
because he is getting married
to another person right now.

2508
01:45:09,434 --> 01:45:11,228
LAN and I are breaking up.

2509
01:45:12,062 --> 01:45:15,274
What? What happened?

2510
01:45:16,567 --> 01:45:18,735
Well, for starters, he's gay.

2511
01:45:18,902 --> 01:45:20,028
He's gay?

2512
01:45:20,112 --> 01:45:21,655
I mean, look at him.

2513
01:45:21,822 --> 01:45:23,824
That's a strong
muscle right there.

2514
01:45:23,907 --> 01:45:25,367
I'm squeezing.

2515
01:45:25,951 --> 01:45:27,327
Devlin, I gotta tell you,

2516
01:45:27,411 --> 01:45:30,289
last night, with the ass
grab of the coconut,

2517
01:45:30,372 --> 01:45:32,374
little bit of a red flag.

2518
01:45:32,457 --> 01:45:34,001
(Laughs)

2519
01:45:34,042 --> 01:45:36,086
I've seen him do
that with the soap.

2520
01:45:36,170 --> 01:45:37,462
(Exclaims)

2521
01:45:37,880 --> 01:45:39,464
(Singing Hawaiian tune)

2522
01:45:42,843 --> 01:45:44,428
What about the iPod?

2523
01:45:44,595 --> 01:45:46,263
Oh, he didn't invent shit.

2524
01:45:46,346 --> 01:45:47,598
He didn't?

2525
01:45:47,723 --> 01:45:50,309
No! He made his money
suing the Dodgers

2526
01:45:50,392 --> 01:45:52,519
after he got hit by a foul ball.

2527
01:45:53,854 --> 01:45:57,316
Oh, god! That's so... what?

2528
01:45:58,317 --> 01:45:59,943
Well, this is different.

2529
01:46:00,277 --> 01:46:05,032
Yeah, why didn't we try this
truth-telling thing before?

2530
01:46:05,616 --> 01:46:06,867
I don't know.

2531
01:46:07,951 --> 01:46:09,578
Hey. Hey.

2532
01:46:10,871 --> 01:46:11,872
What?

2533
01:46:11,955 --> 01:46:13,165
That's nice.

2534
01:46:13,248 --> 01:46:15,459
It's nice to tell the
truth. That's good.

2535
01:46:15,667 --> 01:46:17,044
The truth is fun, isn't it?

2536
01:46:17,211 --> 01:46:18,629
Like, were you telling the truth

2537
01:46:18,670 --> 01:46:20,380
when you said you might
be in love with me?

2538
01:46:21,131 --> 01:46:22,925
I'm gonna leave you two. Okay.

2539
01:46:23,091 --> 01:46:24,968
I'm gonna go get a
divorce. Good luck.

2540
01:46:26,762 --> 01:46:28,096
(Laughing)

2541
01:46:30,516 --> 01:46:32,935
Wait, where are my kids?

2542
01:46:33,477 --> 01:46:35,771
Palmer took them
out for ice cream.

2543
01:46:36,563 --> 01:46:38,899
So, how was the wedding?

2544
01:46:38,982 --> 01:46:40,359
Okay. All right.

2545
01:46:40,400 --> 01:46:44,363
So, we're standing on top of
this beautiful cliff. Uh-huh.

2546
01:46:44,488 --> 01:46:47,741
I start looking out
into the pacific,

2547
01:46:47,824 --> 01:46:49,368
and I think to myself,

2548
01:46:49,493 --> 01:46:54,248
"wow. I am about
to start my life"

2549
01:46:54,873 --> 01:46:56,375
"with the one I love."

2550
01:46:58,168 --> 01:47:00,128
And the only problem was,

2551
01:47:00,212 --> 01:47:02,673
the one I love was not with me.

2552
01:47:03,966 --> 01:47:05,050
She wasn't?

2553
01:47:05,133 --> 01:47:06,343
She was not.

2554
01:47:07,344 --> 01:47:09,137
So you didn't?

2555
01:47:09,346 --> 01:47:10,556
I couldn't.

2556
01:47:10,597 --> 01:47:11,807
You couldn't.

2557
01:47:12,432 --> 01:47:16,812
I mean, don't we
have something extra

2558
01:47:16,854 --> 01:47:18,230
happening with us?

2559
01:47:20,023 --> 01:47:21,525
Danny, I...

2560
01:47:23,861 --> 01:47:27,239
What happens when we're
not on fake-cation

2561
01:47:27,281 --> 01:47:30,450
and you wake up and
realize this is real?

2562
01:47:30,617 --> 01:47:33,537
You are the only real thing
I've ever had in my life.

2563
01:47:33,745 --> 01:47:35,914
Danny, come on, man. I don't...

2564
01:47:36,039 --> 01:47:39,084
She's beautiful and she's...
I'm not twenty-three.

2565
01:47:40,919 --> 01:47:42,880
I'm not that.

2566
01:47:43,046 --> 01:47:44,965
She's good, she's very nice,

2567
01:47:45,007 --> 01:47:47,759
there's only one
problem. She's not you.

2568
01:47:47,968 --> 01:47:49,052
She's not you.

2569
01:47:50,053 --> 01:47:51,722
I have two kids.

2570
01:47:52,055 --> 01:47:55,434
I can't just drive them
off a cliff. You know?

2571
01:47:55,851 --> 01:47:57,186
(In English accent)
I love those kids

2572
01:47:57,269 --> 01:47:59,313
more than anything in
the world, guv'nor.

2573
01:47:59,396 --> 01:48:00,981
(Laughs)

2574
01:48:01,064 --> 01:48:04,318
No, I wanna be with those
guys like 23 hours a day.

2575
01:48:04,693 --> 01:48:06,528
What about the other hour?

2576
01:48:16,079 --> 01:48:17,873
(People cheering)

2577
01:48:17,956 --> 01:48:19,249
Sailor: Good job!

2578
01:48:19,416 --> 01:48:20,959
That's what I'm talking about.

2579
01:48:21,043 --> 01:48:22,419
Whatever!

2580
01:48:25,923 --> 01:48:27,007
(Squeaking)

2581
01:48:27,090 --> 01:48:28,383
Danny: Well,
everything turned out

2582
01:48:28,467 --> 01:48:30,636
pretty good for everybody.

2583
01:48:30,761 --> 01:48:33,680
Squirt got to swim
with the dolphins.

2584
01:48:34,389 --> 01:48:35,766
(Cheering)

2585
01:48:36,850 --> 01:48:40,145
Palmer met some tennis player her
own age on the plane ride home,

2586
01:48:40,270 --> 01:48:42,606
who's an even bigger
fan of 'n sync.

2587
01:48:44,399 --> 01:48:46,944
And Maggie's about to start
a three-week acting class

2588
01:48:47,027 --> 01:48:49,279
with the actual dolph lundgren.

2589
01:48:50,364 --> 01:48:52,282
And what happened for me?

2590
01:48:52,574 --> 01:48:55,786
Well, I'm finally wearing
my wedding ring for real.

2591
01:48:55,994 --> 01:48:57,871
And now when women
ask me about it,

2592
01:48:58,038 --> 01:49:00,123
I'm gonna tell them I'm
married to a woman

2593
01:49:00,207 --> 01:49:02,960
who doesn't beat me,
doesn't cheat on me,

2594
01:49:03,126 --> 01:49:06,046
doesn't drink... well,
doesn't drink that much.

2595
01:49:06,129 --> 01:49:09,007
And who I'm gonna spend
the rest of my life with.

2596
01:49:09,091 --> 01:49:11,844
A woman named Katherine.

2597
01:49:11,927 --> 01:49:15,222
Would you like to dance with
your wife, doctor maccabee?

2598
01:49:15,514 --> 01:49:17,558
Yes, I would, Mrs. maccabee.

2599
01:49:17,808 --> 01:49:18,892
Yeah, it's okay.

2600
01:49:21,311 --> 01:49:22,646
One more.

2601
01:49:24,439 --> 01:49:25,691
(Exclaims)

2602
01:49:28,110 --> 01:49:31,029
You were right, soul patch
is going hard on that bass.

2603
01:49:31,196 --> 01:49:32,739
What did I tell you? Uh-huh.

2604
01:49:36,118 --> 01:49:38,495
Hey. Encore, man. I'm
just kidding. Stop.

2605
01:49:43,667 --> 01:49:45,878
I get it. It is long
and it's gross.

2606
01:49:46,003 --> 01:49:48,714
You don't need wind for
that thing to swing around.