1 00:00:02,420 --> 00:00:04,504 Beautiful morning, isn't it? 2 00:00:04,589 --> 00:00:07,382 It's a shame you have to work, huh? Yeah. 3 00:00:07,466 --> 00:00:09,718 Anyway, I'd like a large sausage and pepperoni- 4 00:00:09,802 --> 00:00:11,970 It's my stuff, okay? 5 00:00:12,096 --> 00:00:13,763 Just keep your hands off my stuff! Hey! 6 00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:16,057 I didn't put my hands on your stuff. 7 00:00:16,142 --> 00:00:19,311 Hey! Just a second, Derek. What is the problem? 8 00:00:19,395 --> 00:00:21,563 Alex read my journal. I did not! 9 00:00:21,647 --> 00:00:24,024 Why would I even want to read your stupid journal? 10 00:00:24,108 --> 00:00:27,652 Because it contains the details of a life, and you don't have one! 11 00:00:27,778 --> 00:00:30,113 Oh! Alex, don't read Haley's journal. 12 00:00:30,198 --> 00:00:32,157 Sorry. My daughters. 13 00:00:32,241 --> 00:00:34,367 You got kids? 14 00:00:34,493 --> 00:00:36,161 Oh. What grade are you in? Phil! 15 00:00:36,245 --> 00:00:37,871 Oh, that's my wife, Claire. 16 00:00:37,955 --> 00:00:42,042 Luke was using my computer for this. 17 00:00:42,126 --> 00:00:44,711 I'm gonna have to, uh, call you back. 18 00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:48,006 He told me he needed it to do homework, and then I find this, a-a picture... 19 00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:52,969 of a topless woman, with the biggest boobs I have ever seen, driving a tractor. 20 00:00:54,889 --> 00:00:59,309 Okay. Um- Uh, first of all, that's a combine, not a tractor. Phil! 21 00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,937 Phil! It is smut, and our 10-year-old is looking at smut! 22 00:01:02,063 --> 00:01:05,148 It's disgusting! Completely unacceptable. 23 00:01:05,233 --> 00:01:07,484 Here's the thing. That was my picture. 24 00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,945 Well, not really mine. There's this guy at work who sends out these links. 25 00:01:10,029 --> 00:01:12,155 Doesn't matter who. Gil Thorpe. 26 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:15,617 He sent out another one of the same woman dressed as a battleship. 27 00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:17,619 You know, the- You get- Yeah. 28 00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:20,789 And then one of the Transformers- And then it- 29 00:01:20,873 --> 00:01:24,417 Anyway, I had every intention of telling Claire. 30 00:01:24,502 --> 00:01:27,254 I just wanted her to calm down first. 31 00:01:27,380 --> 00:01:30,048 Where are you going? I'm going to pick up Luke from his sleepover. 32 00:01:30,132 --> 00:01:32,259 We need to talk to him about this now. 33 00:01:32,385 --> 00:01:34,719 Claire, this is a very delicate situation. Mm-hmm. 34 00:01:34,804 --> 00:01:38,306 If we don't handle it right, Luke might end up having an unhealthy attitude about sex... 35 00:01:38,391 --> 00:01:40,308 or agribusiness. 36 00:01:40,393 --> 00:01:43,436 We'll talk about it when he gets home. 37 00:01:43,521 --> 00:01:45,146 Okay, fine. 38 00:01:45,231 --> 00:01:49,484 But I am telling him that every time he looks at porn, God kills a puppy. 39 00:01:49,568 --> 00:01:51,528 Maybe I should be the one to talk to him. 40 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,863 [Gloria] I am a very lucky woman. 41 00:01:53,948 --> 00:01:55,865 I have a wonderful family, 42 00:01:55,950 --> 00:01:57,951 a beautiful home. 43 00:01:58,035 --> 00:02:00,036 There's nothing that I would change. 44 00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:05,750 I hate the dog butler. 45 00:02:05,835 --> 00:02:07,585 [Humming, Yelps] 46 00:02:07,670 --> 00:02:09,671 I keep forgetting it's there. And every time it happens, 47 00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:11,589 it scares me all over again. 48 00:02:11,674 --> 00:02:15,844 Sometimes, at night, I think it's the devil. 49 00:02:15,928 --> 00:02:18,096 [Whispers] El diablo. 50 00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:20,390 Barkley? He's hilarious. 51 00:02:20,516 --> 00:02:24,728 I was in Vegas last month and I was winning. [Laughs] 52 00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:28,064 And I thought, I could do the usual, be a chump, give the money back to the casino, 53 00:02:28,149 --> 00:02:32,861 or I could do something smart and buy something for myself at the casino store. 54 00:02:32,945 --> 00:02:34,362 He's already a family favorite. 55 00:02:34,447 --> 00:02:36,531 Rub his chin, a little under there. He likes that. 56 00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:39,868 There you go. Beautiful. There you go. [Laughs] 57 00:02:39,952 --> 00:02:44,122 He's a dog and a butler. I mean, who couldn't love him? 58 00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:48,460 Ya me cansé. 59 00:02:48,544 --> 00:02:51,296 Come. 60 00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:59,220 [Clattering] Dog. 61 00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:04,934 [Man] ♪ Hey, hey ♪ 62 00:03:05,019 --> 00:03:09,022 ♪ Hey, hey Hey, hey ♪ 63 00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:12,108 ♪ Hey, hey Hey ♪♪ 64 00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:16,988 - [Cameron] Okay, ready to go. - Make sure you pee first. 65 00:03:17,073 --> 00:03:20,033 - What am I, seven years old? - No. You do not want to go during the show. 66 00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:23,119 The marionettes stop what they're doing, march to the edge of the stage and point at you. 67 00:03:23,245 --> 00:03:26,081 Okay, that sounds terrifying. No, it's really funny. 68 00:03:26,165 --> 00:03:31,544 Oh, one of my favorite childhood memories was attending the Moscow Marionette Theater. 69 00:03:31,629 --> 00:03:34,631 I grew up one mile away from Missouri's largest waterslide. 70 00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,633 And third largest in the country. 71 00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,843 Oh, really, Cam. You never mentioned that before. 72 00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:41,471 You feel like- Feel like a torpedo. 73 00:03:43,349 --> 00:03:45,433 Hey, Cam, does the gardener usually work on Saturdays? 74 00:03:45,518 --> 00:03:47,185 I don't know. He comes when we need him. 75 00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:48,853 He's like Batman but straight. 76 00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:51,898 [Sobbing] [Cameron] Is he crying? 77 00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:56,027 Oh, yeah. We should probably go out the back, huh? 78 00:03:56,112 --> 00:04:00,281 He's clearly in pain. How can you just turn your back on a friend like that? 79 00:04:00,366 --> 00:04:02,492 A friend? Really? Yeah? What's his name? 80 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:05,120 Caesar Salazar. 81 00:04:05,204 --> 00:04:08,581 You made that up. You were gonna say "Caesar Salad." 82 00:04:08,666 --> 00:04:11,918 Was not. Cam. Come on. Really? 83 00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:13,962 Oh. [Door Closes] 84 00:04:14,046 --> 00:04:16,840 All right, don't worry, Lily. I'm sure we'll get to the show on time. 85 00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:20,927 I'm sure Dad is just gonna go out and give an encouraging word to the gardener, 86 00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:23,138 hopefully mention the snail problem, 87 00:04:23,222 --> 00:04:26,099 and then we are gonna be on- No. 88 00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:28,977 No, no. Cam, no- 89 00:04:30,521 --> 00:04:32,856 - Hello. - I don't think he speaks English. 90 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,816 Okay, this might be a good time to mention to you... 91 00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:36,734 that the marionettes are not kind to latecomers. 92 00:04:36,819 --> 00:04:38,736 They bend over and show their bloomers. 93 00:04:38,821 --> 00:04:41,531 Okay, I speak a little Spanish. Señor- 94 00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:51,332 Gracias. [Sobbing] 95 00:04:51,459 --> 00:04:54,627 What was that? I just asked him if he wanted to have a glass of water... 96 00:04:54,712 --> 00:04:58,089 and sit down for a minute, like any kind person would. 97 00:04:58,174 --> 00:04:59,883 [Sobbing] 98 00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:10,518 [Wailing] 99 00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:19,486 Okay, I checked the rest of the computers in the house. I didn't find any more porn. 100 00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:22,071 That was hardly porn. It was a topless woman on a tractor. 101 00:05:22,156 --> 00:05:25,575 You know what they call that in Europe? A cereal commercial. 102 00:05:25,701 --> 00:05:29,329 I should go talk to him. Honey, honey, honey. I got this. I got this. 103 00:05:29,413 --> 00:05:32,165 No, no, no, no. I got this. I got this. I was his age once. 104 00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:36,419 Breasts are like these scary, mystical things... 105 00:05:36,504 --> 00:05:40,006 that he's drawn to like Frodo to Mordor. 106 00:05:40,132 --> 00:05:41,799 Okay, I'm definitely going- No, no, no, no, no. 107 00:05:41,884 --> 00:05:44,052 Boys don't want their moms talking to 'em about sex... 108 00:05:44,136 --> 00:05:47,972 any more than girls want their dads talking to 'em about periods, 109 00:05:48,057 --> 00:05:50,058 bras and girdles and all that stuff. 110 00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:53,269 You do know that women stopped wearing girdles, like, 30 years ago? 111 00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:57,690 Honey, I know, I know. That-That-That is exactly the kind of sexual revolution... 112 00:05:57,775 --> 00:05:59,776 that our son is going through right now. 113 00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:03,530 So, just- Let's just- just trust it. 114 00:06:03,614 --> 00:06:06,032 Fix that step. Just know, 115 00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:08,993 I will handle this, okay? 116 00:06:12,998 --> 00:06:15,750 [Gasps] El diablo. 117 00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:19,170 Hey, Gloria, do you have any idea why Barkley was in the guest room? 118 00:06:19,255 --> 00:06:22,090 I was just doing a little redecorating. 119 00:06:22,174 --> 00:06:25,343 Sometimes it's good to move things around just to see how they look. 120 00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:27,345 Yeah, but the guest room? That's crazy. 121 00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:29,681 He's not a guest. He works for us. 122 00:06:29,765 --> 00:06:31,558 Hey, give me a hand here, will you? 123 00:06:31,642 --> 00:06:34,185 - I think his jacket shifted while I was moving him. - Ay, cómo no. 124 00:06:34,270 --> 00:06:38,481 We can't have you untucked, our little butler. That doesn't make any sense, does it, boy? 125 00:06:38,607 --> 00:06:39,691 [Fabric Rips] ¡Ay! 126 00:06:39,775 --> 00:06:41,484 "Ay"? What was that? Is he all right? 127 00:06:41,569 --> 00:06:43,945 - Ay, no. My bracelet got caught a little bit here. - Well, don't panic. 128 00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:46,656 I'm not panicking. All right, try to relax. 129 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:49,492 We can fix him. Let me take a better look. Come here, boy. 130 00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:52,579 Luke? Hey, Dad. 131 00:06:52,663 --> 00:06:56,291 Hey, buddy. Um, look. 132 00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:59,002 - [Door Closes] - You and I need to have a little talk. 133 00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:03,756 - About what? - Well, it's about computer stuff. 134 00:07:03,841 --> 00:07:05,842 Um- [Clears Throat] 135 00:07:09,513 --> 00:07:12,682 How do you make sure you've deleted something after you read it? 136 00:07:15,227 --> 00:07:17,145 Sorry, Jay. It was an accident. 137 00:07:17,229 --> 00:07:19,731 You know, I'm beginning to think you don't like Barkley that much. 138 00:07:19,815 --> 00:07:22,483 I mean, first you hide him in the guest room, and now this. 139 00:07:22,568 --> 00:07:25,111 It's ridiculous. I didn't mean to hurt it. 140 00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:27,614 First of all, let's cut the "it"s. He is a he. 141 00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:31,576 And you can pretend to be innocent all you want, but action speaks louder than words. 142 00:07:31,660 --> 00:07:34,621 Yeah. They can be very revealing. 143 00:07:34,705 --> 00:07:37,373 What are you trying to say? 144 00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:42,253 Nothing. But you have to admit that the dog butler is a little ridiculous. 145 00:07:42,338 --> 00:07:45,298 You know what else I think is ridiculous? That mountain of pillows you have on our bed. 146 00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:48,426 I feel like I'm working on a loading dock just trying to get under the covers. 147 00:07:48,552 --> 00:07:51,346 [Gloria] They're pretty. They're a damn nuisance. 148 00:07:51,430 --> 00:07:53,890 Okay, forgive me for trying to make our home beautiful. 149 00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:57,143 You know, if I can put up with those, you can put up with a piece of art. 150 00:07:57,227 --> 00:08:01,773 This is not art. This is an unholy mix between man and beast. 151 00:08:01,857 --> 00:08:06,944 But, fine, if you love it so much, put it wherever you want. 152 00:08:07,029 --> 00:08:09,364 Thank you. Where you going? To get some more pillows? 153 00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:14,702 No, don't worry. It'll be a long time before I bother you again with my pillows. 154 00:08:17,873 --> 00:08:20,124 Why is Dad in Luke's room with the door closed? 155 00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:23,086 They are having a little talk. Is Luke being punished? 156 00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:26,130 Is that just your favorite thing, when your brother or sister gets into trouble? 157 00:08:26,215 --> 00:08:28,800 My favorite is when they're both in trouble. 158 00:08:28,884 --> 00:08:31,511 So, what'd he do? Did he cheat on a test? He's a cheater. 159 00:08:31,595 --> 00:08:33,262 He did not cheat on a test. 160 00:08:33,389 --> 00:08:35,431 Did he lie? He lies all the time. Alex. 161 00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:39,519 Alex. Sorry. I'm just worried about Luke. 162 00:08:39,645 --> 00:08:42,897 A lot of parents are hitting again. I appreciate your concern, 163 00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:44,774 but your father has it under control. 164 00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:48,027 [Chuckles] Twenty-four. 165 00:08:48,112 --> 00:08:50,238 Twenty-five. 166 00:08:50,322 --> 00:08:54,492 Flincher! Free slap. Bring it up. 167 00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:56,869 [Slap] [Luke] Ow! 168 00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:01,332 Ow! Twenty-nine. 169 00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,251 Can I be on the bottom now? Yep. 170 00:09:03,335 --> 00:09:05,586 [Taps Spoon On Mug] 171 00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:09,757 - [Sighs] - Mmm. How'd it go? 172 00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:13,553 Well, he was really embarrassed, but everything's- everything's fine now. 173 00:09:13,679 --> 00:09:16,389 What'd you say? Well, you know, 174 00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:19,726 - I kinda promised him we'd keep everything between us. - Mm-hmm. 175 00:09:19,810 --> 00:09:23,438 Matter of fact, he'd be mortified if you brought it up with him... ever. 176 00:09:23,522 --> 00:09:25,940 - Oh, God, really? - Yeah. 177 00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:28,526 That actually makes me feel kinda bad. 178 00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:34,449 Well, you're probably just feeling a little tense from all this. 179 00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:37,410 I know I am. 180 00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:39,829 You know what might help the situation? 181 00:09:41,957 --> 00:09:43,958 Really? Right now? 182 00:09:46,378 --> 00:09:49,922 I meant going out for a few pizzas. 183 00:09:50,007 --> 00:09:53,342 Where's your mind? 184 00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:55,928 I guess I live in a house full of sex maniacs. 185 00:09:56,013 --> 00:09:58,139 [Clears Throat] 186 00:09:58,223 --> 00:10:00,141 [Cameron] Amigo? 187 00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:02,769 We can't help you if you won't come out. 188 00:10:02,853 --> 00:10:06,397 [Man] Gracias por invitarme a su casa y apiadarse de mis lágrimas. 189 00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:09,192 What'd he say? Something "house" something. 190 00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:12,236 Come on. The show starts in a half hour, and we still have to pick up Manny. 191 00:10:12,321 --> 00:10:13,946 Can we just- Come on. Move this thing along! 192 00:10:14,031 --> 00:10:15,907 Okay, this man is in crisis. 193 00:10:16,033 --> 00:10:20,495 He could have a family health issue or a personal health issue or a financial matter. 194 00:10:20,579 --> 00:10:22,914 Stop. You're getting all this from "something house something"? 195 00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:26,417 Let's just call Gloria and have her deal with it, okay? 196 00:10:26,502 --> 00:10:28,503 "Lt" is a human being, Mitchell. 197 00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:30,505 Named Caesar Salad. Okay. 198 00:10:30,631 --> 00:10:33,758 What's going on with you? Cam, you- you always do this. 199 00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:36,594 It's like you're incapable of hearing anyone's sad story... 200 00:10:36,678 --> 00:10:38,554 without making it your job to fix it. 201 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:42,600 And then, my needs- my needs come second. Your needs right now... 202 00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:44,602 are a puppet show. 203 00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:47,063 This man could have lost his brother in a cable car accident. 204 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,398 You understood "casa." 205 00:10:49,483 --> 00:10:51,400 Okay, fine. If it'll prove to you... 206 00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:53,986 that I'm not the obsessive helpaholic that you make me out to be, 207 00:10:54,071 --> 00:10:56,072 let's go to the puppet show. 208 00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:58,991 - Cam. - Let's go. 209 00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:02,495 Ay. ¿Dónde está mi novio? Su camión está parqueado afuera. 210 00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:05,623 - I think this has something to do with the gardener. - You think? 211 00:11:05,707 --> 00:11:09,627 - Just down the hall to the right. - Ay. Gracias, gracias. 212 00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:12,421 Perdón. In there. Okay. 213 00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:14,674 - Okay, let's go. - No, please. 214 00:11:14,758 --> 00:11:17,426 I know it's killing you not to get back there in the middle of that. 215 00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:21,055 Oh, no, no, no, no. We are going. These folks can find their own way out. 216 00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:25,434 And now you'll know that I'm not a manic Mother Teresa out there collecting lost souls. 217 00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:27,520 Oh, come on. 218 00:11:32,651 --> 00:11:34,485 [Mitchell] Dad? [Jay] Back here. 219 00:11:34,570 --> 00:11:37,446 - Is Manny ready? - Didn't you get the message? He's not going. 220 00:11:37,531 --> 00:11:41,534 - What? - Ah, some mandatory cleanup at school. 221 00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:44,871 - What's the real reason? - It's a puppet show, Mitch. 222 00:11:44,955 --> 00:11:48,249 Perfect. All right, it's just you and me then, Lily. 223 00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:51,711 How's the little fortune cookie? Ah, she-she's good. She's good. 224 00:11:51,837 --> 00:11:55,214 Where's Cam? We got into a fight. 225 00:11:55,299 --> 00:11:57,633 Because of him, I have a house full of Latinos. 226 00:11:57,718 --> 00:12:01,137 Welcome to my world. So, trouble in gay paradise, huh? 227 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,848 He just can't say no to anybody who needs help. 228 00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:06,684 And why do you have to always add the word "gay" where it doesn't belong? 229 00:12:06,768 --> 00:12:09,770 Hey, hey, you're not mad at me. You're mad at the old balls and chain. 230 00:12:09,855 --> 00:12:11,772 Okay, Dad, good talk. See you later. 231 00:12:11,857 --> 00:12:15,109 Come on, I didn't mean it. Hey, I didn't mean it. I'm a little cranky. 232 00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,904 I got into it with Gloria a little bit. Oh, no. What happened? 233 00:12:17,988 --> 00:12:22,408 Ah, she hates Barkley. It's the same stuff I went over with your mom all the time. 234 00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:26,579 "Get rid of the boat." "Get rid of the motorcycle." You know, I liked those things. 235 00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:28,956 Why do you have to get rid of it then? 236 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,752 You know, actually, I don't. 237 00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:36,255 Anyway, I'm gluing his hand on over here. His hand came off. 238 00:12:36,340 --> 00:12:39,550 Rough day, Dad. Your hot, young wife doesn't like your doll. 239 00:12:39,635 --> 00:12:43,262 Yeah, unlike your big problem, "My boyfriend's too nice to people." 240 00:12:43,347 --> 00:12:45,723 No, see- mmm- that's not all it is. 241 00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:49,936 He helps animals. He's always volunteering for things. Trust me. 242 00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:51,938 It-lt's worse than it sounds. 243 00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:54,607 Who are we kidding? We both got it pretty good. 244 00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:58,194 Hell, I'm probably fighting with your mom more than I'm fighting with Gloria on this thing. 245 00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:01,155 A bird fell out of a tree and he fed it with an eyedropper. 246 00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:04,200 Just drop it, kid. We're both with people different from us, 247 00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:07,119 and that's gonna create stuff, but you want different. 248 00:13:07,204 --> 00:13:11,040 Your mom and I were perfect on paper and you know how that ended. 249 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:14,961 What I got now is a lot better. 250 00:13:15,087 --> 00:13:18,631 Sure, people look at us sometimes. And sometimes even I can't believe we're together. 251 00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:21,467 - But we're happy. At the end of the day- - [Footsteps Approaching] 252 00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:24,637 There's no one I'd rather come home to. 253 00:13:27,641 --> 00:13:31,060 [Footsteps Receding] You mean Gloria. 254 00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:34,563 Who else? 255 00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:38,317 No one. I'll see you later. 256 00:13:38,402 --> 00:13:40,903 See you, kid. 257 00:13:42,364 --> 00:13:44,824 Did you draw on my poster? 258 00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:48,953 Yeah, I did. Maybe you'll think about that the next time you read my journal. 259 00:13:49,079 --> 00:13:53,499 I didn't read your stupid journal, and I waited in line to get this signed, Haley. 260 00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:56,961 Oh, don't be such a baby. It's just some dude with weird hair. 261 00:13:57,045 --> 00:14:01,007 That's Maya Angelou, you idiot. 262 00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:03,342 Oh, sorry. I don't follow the WNBA. 263 00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:08,848 You know what? This is the worst thing you've ever done, and I'll never forgive you! 264 00:14:08,932 --> 00:14:11,058 You started it! 265 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:14,937 What are you looking at? Well, I just heard- 266 00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:17,440 I was the one who read Haley's diary. 267 00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:20,067 I was playing on her computer and it just opened. 268 00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:26,240 Okay, I opened it. But I didn't mean for anyone to fight. 269 00:14:27,284 --> 00:14:30,411 Oh, home already. Mitchell, hi. Hi. 270 00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:33,456 Hi, Cam. Hi. Did you forget the tickets? 271 00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:36,083 No. You know, I was never gonna enjoy the show without you, so- 272 00:14:36,168 --> 00:14:39,253 Oh. But you were so excited to take Lily to see the Russian marionettes. 273 00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:41,005 Oh, she's probably a little young anyway. 274 00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:43,591 We can just prop her in front of the dryer for a half hour. 275 00:14:43,675 --> 00:14:46,969 Listen, Cam, I-I love that you try and help the world, 276 00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:51,223 and I'm very lucky to have you in my life. Oh, Mitchell. 277 00:14:51,349 --> 00:14:53,809 How'd everything work out with the gardener? Uh, great. Great. 278 00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:56,103 Turned out it was his wedding day, and he was a little nervous. 279 00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,522 Oh- But you know what? There's no need to apologize. 280 00:14:58,607 --> 00:15:00,232 No, I need to. I've been very selfish. 281 00:15:00,317 --> 00:15:02,568 No, no. Sometimes I take things too far. 282 00:15:02,694 --> 00:15:06,447 Okay. If that ever happens, I will let you know. Okay. 283 00:15:10,368 --> 00:15:13,788 Is there a reason I can't go inside? No. No, no. No. 284 00:15:14,956 --> 00:15:18,292 [Man] Y ahora te pronuncio hombre y esposa. 285 00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:21,212 La puedes besar. [All Cheering, Applauding] 286 00:15:27,886 --> 00:15:31,597 - Mom, can I talk to you? - Sure, honey. What's going on? 287 00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:34,391 I feel bad about something I did. 288 00:15:34,476 --> 00:15:37,978 Oh, sweetie. Is this about the computer? 289 00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:40,439 Yeah. Something you shouldn't have been looking at? 290 00:15:40,524 --> 00:15:43,651 Yeah. It was just so freaky. 291 00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:46,112 I couldn't stop looking. I know, sweet pea. 292 00:15:46,238 --> 00:15:49,657 But the important thing is you did stop looking. Yeah. 293 00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:51,784 After about an hour. 294 00:15:51,868 --> 00:15:56,539 Okay. Well, it's perfectly normal to be curious about these things. 295 00:15:56,665 --> 00:15:58,582 Some parts were funny. Mm-hmm. 296 00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:01,127 And some parts just seemed crazy. 297 00:16:01,211 --> 00:16:04,588 Well, I hope you realize that some of those parts weren't real. 298 00:16:04,673 --> 00:16:06,340 Obviously. [Chuckles] 299 00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:08,926 But they can be totally real, right? Hmm. 300 00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:11,554 Like Anne Frank's? What? 301 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,514 All I know is it really made me wonder about Haley. 302 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:17,309 That's disturbing, sweetie. Why Haley? [Footsteps Approaching] 303 00:16:17,394 --> 00:16:19,061 It was her journal. 304 00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:20,938 You read my journal? You little creep! 305 00:16:21,022 --> 00:16:22,731 I'm sorry! I couldn't help it. 306 00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:24,441 Wait. Haley's journal too? 307 00:16:24,568 --> 00:16:26,861 Luke, you are now banned from the computer. What? 308 00:16:26,945 --> 00:16:28,571 What happened? Who's in trouble? 309 00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:31,282 - Luke read my journal! - I told you it wasn't me! 310 00:16:31,366 --> 00:16:33,576 - You know, I'm gonna kill you. - Haley, calm down. 311 00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,995 Wait, you're not even gonna yell at him? That was private. 312 00:16:36,079 --> 00:16:38,372 Oh, please. The most shocking thing in there was your spelling. 313 00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:39,957 You read it too? 314 00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:41,792 Am I the only one who hasn't read it? 315 00:16:41,877 --> 00:16:44,795 I was looking through the computers in the house for pornography. 316 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:48,507 - Sick. - Not for me. I wanted to see what you guys are looking at. 317 00:16:48,592 --> 00:16:50,342 So you're violating our privacy. 318 00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:52,094 When I find out that my children... 319 00:16:52,179 --> 00:16:55,431 are looking at a naked picture online, they don't have any privacy. 320 00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:58,267 - Who was looking at naked pictures? - That doesn't matter. 321 00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:00,060 I wasn't. 322 00:17:00,145 --> 00:17:02,980 Wasn't me. That's gross. I'm 10! 323 00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:04,773 Wait a minute. What's wrong with you people? 324 00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:06,650 If it wasn't you, who was it? [Door Opens] 325 00:17:07,819 --> 00:17:09,320 Mangia! 326 00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:14,158 Rosa, thank you for coming. Gracias. 327 00:17:14,242 --> 00:17:17,453 Carlos, let me know how it works out with that dentist. Victor, you owe me a dance. 328 00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,455 [Cameron] Yes, I'm a caring person. 329 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:22,708 And without Mitchell, I would just keep giving and giving and giving. 330 00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:28,255 I'm like a big runaway charity truck and Mitchell is my off-ramp full of safety gravel. 331 00:17:28,340 --> 00:17:32,218 He knows how to say no. He always can put himself first. 332 00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:36,513 He certainly can turn his back on someone suffering. Um- 333 00:17:39,309 --> 00:17:40,976 No, really. Keep going. 334 00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:45,272 - He- - Don't keep going! 335 00:17:45,357 --> 00:17:48,108 Muchas gracias. Hey, good-bye. 336 00:17:48,193 --> 00:17:50,986 - That was nice. - [Knocking] 337 00:17:52,364 --> 00:17:55,783 - Oh, God. Dad. - Looks like I missed the party, huh? 338 00:17:55,867 --> 00:17:57,493 What is- What is that doing here? 339 00:17:57,619 --> 00:18:00,829 He is a gift for you and Cam. Thank you. 340 00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:04,166 He lost his monocle on the drive. Head was out the window. 341 00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:07,461 Well, they love that. Let's put him here for now. 342 00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:09,296 - [Mitchell] I don't want that. - I think he's cute. 343 00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:12,007 Let's give him a chance. I came as soon as I heard your message. 344 00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:14,009 You said that somebody was getting married? 345 00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:17,513 Gloria, there you are. I've got good news. 346 00:18:22,143 --> 00:18:24,186 What's the matter? 347 00:18:26,815 --> 00:18:29,984 Honey? Hey. 348 00:18:30,068 --> 00:18:32,194 I'm really sorry. 349 00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:34,780 That picture was just something that someone sent me. 350 00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:38,284 Doesn't matter who. Gil Thorpe. 351 00:18:38,368 --> 00:18:41,912 Anyway, I don't do that stuff. 352 00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:44,123 You're all the porn I need. That's- Uh- 353 00:18:44,207 --> 00:18:46,125 Honey, it's fine. 354 00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:48,836 It's fine. Mmm. 355 00:18:50,297 --> 00:18:52,256 Now, it's fine. 356 00:18:53,508 --> 00:18:55,592 [Claire] I couldn't care less about the picture. 357 00:18:55,677 --> 00:18:58,971 I was just upset when I thought it was Luke. 358 00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:02,182 Haley, honey, I really wish you would give me a hand with all this laundry. 359 00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:04,184 You never, ever- 360 00:19:04,269 --> 00:19:06,645 [Claire] Haley's off in her own world. 361 00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:09,315 Alex has never really been a kid. 362 00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:12,067 But Luke is my baby. 363 00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:17,323 Is it really too much to ask that he stay a sweet, innocent kid... 364 00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:19,408 forever? 365 00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:22,369 [Door Opens, Closes] 366 00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:27,458 Hey, buddy. Um- Here. Sorry. 367 00:19:27,542 --> 00:19:29,460 We'II dribble later. 368 00:19:29,544 --> 00:19:33,339 Um, I just, uh- I just want to say I'm sorry. 369 00:19:33,423 --> 00:19:36,800 I never meant to blame you for that whole picture thing. 370 00:19:36,885 --> 00:19:41,764 Your mom sort of thought it was yours and I should have stopped it, but I didn't. 371 00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:43,724 So what was the picture of? 372 00:19:45,143 --> 00:19:49,730 Well, it was a woman on a tractor and she had her shirt off. 373 00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:52,775 Was it hot? 374 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:54,902 Okay, we're being honest here. 375 00:19:54,986 --> 00:19:58,655 Um, this particular woman- 376 00:19:58,740 --> 00:20:01,200 Well, my tastes do run to the curvy, 377 00:20:01,284 --> 00:20:03,744 and the cowboy hat did not hurt one bit. 378 00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:07,206 Couple that with the cutoff jeans- And you were asking about the weather, weren't you? 379 00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:09,625 Yeah. 380 00:20:10,919 --> 00:20:14,088 Well, this is good. This is good. 381 00:20:14,172 --> 00:20:16,548 You're gonna be going through some changes soon. 382 00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:20,010 And I think now you can feel safe talking to me about whatever. 383 00:20:30,814 --> 00:20:32,648 [Cameron] And so it ends. 384 00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:38,404 Sadly, I've been summarily dismissed from the employ of Masters Cameron and Mitchell. 385 00:20:38,488 --> 00:20:40,572 The former being an utter delight, 386 00:20:40,657 --> 00:20:42,783 and the latter being a humorless snoot. 387 00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:45,035 Just come on. Get him in the car. The thrift shop's closing. 388 00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:47,496 What is this exciting thrift shop you speak of? 389 00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:50,332 Many of my relatives were taken out of their homes... 390 00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:53,043 to be released into the green pastures in their maturity- 391 00:20:53,169 --> 00:20:55,963 Did you just say "matoority?" Unhand me, you brute! 392 00:20:56,047 --> 00:20:57,965 I regret nothing! 393 00:20:58,049 --> 00:21:00,175 I'll pay you. I'm a comfortable man. 394 00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:02,386 I've been stealing from your father for days. 395 00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:07,141 Oh, is there any better feeling in the world than having your ears flap in the wind? 396 00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:09,643 You know what? Get out. You mean it? Sweet freedom? 397 00:21:09,727 --> 00:21:12,146 No, not you, Barkley. Cameron, out. Oh. 398 00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:17,901 ENGLISH - US - PSDH 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net