That's theway shewants it. She likes to bewet. Right, Miss Gordon?.
Bobby, I wantyou to fix these packages. They sound like sandpaper rubbing together.
Want me to wet 'em down?. Okay.
- You have enough water on your hair?. - [ CrowdApplauding] - Perfect.
Would you like a little drinkwhile you're preparing, a little bourbon?.
- I'd love that. - [Applause Continues ]
- What are you thinking about?. - Oh, you're home?.
Am I home?.
- Oh, God. I'm - - What do you mean am I home?.
Soaking.
It's raining out there. My feet are chunks ofice.
You know, a funny thing, in Los Angeles almost everybody has cold feet.
- Oh. No jokes, please. - No jokes?. Really?.
How about gentle humor?. Like to hear an anecdote?.
How about an anecdote?. Did you see my kid?.
- Isn't she beautiful?. - Oh, that's nice, Marty.
Yeah, I'm giving up older people.
Can't photograph them without their clothes on.
[ Audience Laughs Softly]
- I loveyou. - Where wereyou?.
Oh, I was out - I don't know.
You know, shopping and -
Then I stopped for a drink.
Went into a bar. Shouldn't have done that.
Ah. A lot of people?. Men?.
Yeah, but theywere all talking about their children, so I figured it was okay.
I don't trust people that -
that talk about their children.
- Oh?. - They're perverted.
[ Audience Laughs ]
But I tell you, I do love older people.
Look at this dame.
- You know why I love older people?. - Why?.
'Cause they know everything.
But they don't show that they know everything.
I can stand here, I can look at this woman, this old lady...
and I can count everywrinkle on her face.
And for everywrinkle, there's a pain.
And for every pain, there's a year.
And for everyyear, there's a person, there's a death...
there's a history, and there's a kindness.
Now, you look at this kid over here. She's not kind, see?.
What am I holding you up for?. Go on, get upstairs. Get warm.
I loveyou.
- Virginia?. - What?.
- Can you hear me?. - What?.
- Thankyou. - Forwhat?.
For coming home.
[Rainfaall]
[Applause ]
[Applause Subsides ]
[Woman ] Theywant to be loved.
Theyhave to be loved.
[Audience Laughing]
The whole world.
- [ Laughter] - Everybody wants to be loved.
When I was 1 7, I-I could do anything.
It was so easy. My emotions were so close to the surface.
I'm fainding it...
harder and harder to stay in touch.
[ Man ] Think about it, willyou?
- I'm not mad at you. - [ Woman Sobs ]
You could hit me.
I'm not mad at you.
Think about it. You can hit me.
- [ Si ghs ] - [Applause ]
- How you feel?. - Fi ne.
- Had a good night tonight. - Yep.
- Give me your hat. - Kelly, get me a bottle. I need a drink.
- A little one ora big one? - A big one.
- It's nice to be loved. - I'm entitled.
Bobby, you got a bottle?. [ Indistinct ]
[Kelly] Come on, let's put the towel on.
[Bobby] Does she need a little bit more water on the hair?
You can do it on the way in. You've got plenty of time. Hurry up and wait.
- Okay, let's do it. - You got everything?.
[ All Clamoring ]
[Man ] Come on. One autograph?
- No. - Sign the damned thing.
- Who belongs to this?. - Thankyou.
I'm gonna get a cab. I'll meetyou at the restaurant.
[ All Chattering, Indistinct]
Miss Sarah Goode?. I've seen every one ofyour plays here in New Haven.
Would you please?. I think they're wonderful.
How interesting. You've seen every one of my plays in New Haven.
He's seen every one of my plays in New Haven.
Well, that's remarkable. Thankyou very much.
- May I haveyour autograph?. - I'm just the producer.
Sign it, David.
- Thankyou. How did you like my show?. - I loved the show.
Yeah, thankyou.
[ Chattering, Clamoring ]
[ All Clamoring ]
- I'm not the star ofthe show. - I know about them.
Myrtle is the star ofthe show. Myrtle Gordon.
[ Chattering Continues ]
Miss Gordon!
[ Shrieking ]
- I loveyou! I loveyou! - [Man ] Come on, cool it.
Back up. Everybody will get their moment.
Just back up. Hold it a second.
- I loveyou. - Sweetheart.
Sweetheart. Offyour knees, darling.
- What's your name?. - Miss Gordon, would you please sign -
- What's your name?. - Nancy.
Nancy?. How old are you?.
Seventeen.
- Oh, my God. - All right, thankyou.
Thankyou. Let's go. Please, people, let us through, huh?.
[ Sobbing ] I'm - I'm sorry.
- I loveyou. I loveyou! - [ThunderRumbling]
Darling, let go ofaher, please!
Come on. Let's go.
- All right. - Get in the car. Get in.
- You all right?. - Yeah, fine.
Manny, roll the window down, will ya?. There's something wrong with that kid.
Get out ofathe rain, willya? You're gonna getpneumonia.
Come see me tomorrow, okay?.
[Horn Honking]
[Maurice ] Oh, my God.
- [ Myrtle ] I think it's that kid. - [ Horn Honking]
I think it's that kid.
It's that - I think she's -
Stop the car! What are we doing?.
Bring the umbrella! Get an ambulance! Get an ambulance!
Hurry up! Hurry up!
-Open the door, Manny. I've gotta get out. -Let me handle it, will ya?.
- Hello?. Hello?. - Can I helpyou?
Listen, there's been an accident in front ofthe theater.
I wantyou to call the police and be sure that they know it.
- We've gotta eat. - The Orpheum Theater.
- We gotta eat. - What?.
The last restaurant's gonna close.
- You're gonna be hungry later. - [ Sighs ]
Maurice, will you come up with me, please?. I feel a little shaky.
[ Maurice ] Thanks.
- I'm not staying. - Have one drink.
Come in.
Oh, God.
Don't be so distant, Maurice. Come on, have a drink.
I'm hungry.
There arepeople waiting downstairs in the car.
[ Sighs ] What's the matterwith us?.
We lose sight of everything. There was a girl killed tonight.
All we can think about is dinner.
I gotta go.
You're not a woman to me anymore.
You're a professional.
You don't care about anything, doyou?.
You don't care about personal relationships...
Iove, sex, affection.
- Okay. - I have a small part.
It's unsympathetic. The audience doesn't like me.
I can't afford to be in love with you.
Good night.
Yeah, good night.
[ Thunder Rumbling ]
- She coming?. - She doesn't wanna eat.
She'll beat herselfinto the ground.
Let's go. Mywife is waiting at the restaurant.
I don't want any more trouble. Let's go.
I need your help, Dorothy.
I'm not talking toyou asyourhusband. I don't count.
But I'm gonna go crazy ifayou don't tell me what it's like...
to be alone as a woman.
What do you do? Okay, that's it.
Wil I you make me another dri nk, please?. I am gonna get drunk.
- Ah - - Ifayou want to get hostile, go ahead.
My goddamn lifae depends on this play.
Andyou should go to all the rehearsals. You should watch everything.
You should sit with Myrtle, fil I her i n on yourself and be part of it.
Do I get paid for this?.
Ifyou understudy, I'll payyou.
- Hmm. - [Laughing]
That's right.
'Cause I tell you, my life is getting boring. I'm getting somber.
- Myown tricks bore me. - Do you want ice?.
Yeah.
There's no humoranymore, andall the glamour's dead.
- You notice that? - Mm-mmm.
I can't even stand how they come to rehearsal.
They come to rehearsal dressed in terrible clothes.
[ Chuckles ]
- Ah. - Manny, I'm dying.
[ Laughing ] I'm dying.
I know I'm dying, 'cause I'm getting tired.
It's always the same.
You talk. I sleep.
Ifl had known what a boring man you were when I married you...
I wouldn't have gone through all those emotional crises.
[Phone Ringing]
Hello?.
Oh, Myrtle.
No, sweetheart. I'm still up.
I'm sorryyou're not faeeling well.
Doyou have a faever?
What?
What girl?
A young girl got killed in faront ofathe theater tonight.
- All right, sweetheart. - I t's 4:.3 0 i n the morni ng.
Yes, I know. I t is lonely.
Oh! I hate out of town too.
Ofacourse I love you.
- [ Chuckles ] - Hold it, will you, please?.
It's nothing. Just mywife.
Right.
Of course I'll leave the phone open.
Yeah. She doesn't mind at all.
- Tell heryou'll talk to her in the morning. - I don't sleep anyway.
- Right. - Right?.
- Right. - There's no one I love more than you at this moment.
You know I loveyou.
What?.
Yes, sweetheart. Okay.
What's wrong with being slapped?.
Cut it out. Cut it out. Just a second, darling.
Cut it out, will you, please?.
There's nothing humiliating about it.
You're on the stage, for Christ's sake.
He's notslappingyou faorreal.
Myrtle.
Ugh! Myrtle!
Myrtle, it has nothing to do with being a woman.
You're not a woman anyway.
[ Chuckles ]
No, no. You're a beautifaul woman.
You are. I was kidding.
Now, you see? You have no sense ofahumor. I toldyou that.
I don't want to argue with it, darl i ng. We'll rehearse it.
Well, how - Ifwe don't rehearse it...
we -we won't get it.
But it's not humiliating. There's nothing humiliating about it.
Uh, you know, it's a tradition. Actresses get slapped.
It's a tradition. Doyou want to be a, uh, uh...
a star or doyou want to be unsympathetic?.
It's mandatoryyou get hit. That's it.
Now go to sleep. Right.
A young girl got killed by the theater tonight.
Let's forget it. Let's not phony it up anymore.
Myrtle, honest to God, he's not gonna hurt you.
Now, look. You do it to me.
Come on. Do it to me.
Here, loosen the hand. Ready?.
You hear that?. One more time.
Okay, now hit Maurice.
Good! Good!
All right, we could do it, but...
you know, he could swing at you and miss...
but then we wouldn't hear the slap.
So, try it one more time.
Hit her in the face. With the fingers, not the palm.
- Go ahead. - No!
Myrtle, Myrtle, Myrtle.
- Hit me - - Myrtle, Myrtle, Myrtle.
Take it easy, will ya?.
What's the matterwith you?.
- [ Manny] Look, do I love you?. - [ Myrtle ] Yes.
- Do I want you to be good?. - Yes.
- Would I hurt you?. - No.
Thenyou're gonna have to let me slapyou.
- Okay. - It won't work ifayou don't.
All right?.
Okay.
Let's go. From, uh...
where, Sarah?.
Uh, start with "You don't get to me. '"
- Okay. - Places, please.
[Maurice ] You don't get to me.
You want to get to me? You don't get to me.
There's no way for you to get to me.
You want to go out and get drunk?.
You want to take dope?.
You want to go out with some guy at 4:.00 in the afternoon...
and be with him?.
Go ahead. That's you're problem.
What a mess I am.
I'm begging again.
What are we fighting about?.
You want to beyoung again, is that it?.
Oh, Marty.
Ahh!
Oh, that was - Oh, wow.
Uh, thatwas good. That was good.
[Manny] A faewlines back.
No! No more!
No!
Bravo!
[Myrtle ] No! No! No more!
No! No!
- You all right?. - No!
- I didn't hit her. - Walk away.
I didn't hit her, David, really.
- You all right, Myrtle?. - [Leo ] Do we needa doctor?
Yeah, you'd better get a doctor and get me a cold compress...
and maybe you'll have a little brandy back there.
David, would you please leave the stage so we can go on?.
Willyou get offthe stage?
There's nothing the matter with Myrtle. She's, uh, tired, that's all.
I've been tired a lot ofatimes in my lifae.
You stay up all night, you get tired!
All right, Myrtle. Time to get up. Have to rehearse now.
Uh, let's take it farom a faew lines back.
- You want me to try this agai n?. - Yeah.
Wel l, how can I start again when she's lying half-dead on the floor?.
[Manny] Myrtle!
Are we rehearsing here ornot?
Want to call it a day?
Myrtle!
I was very much in love with you, Virginia.
When was that?.
No, I really want to know. When?.
You don't get to me.
You want to get to me?. You don't get to me.
There is no way foryou to get to me.
You want to go out and take dope?. You want to get drunk?. Go ahead.
- You want to - - [Laughing]
Oh!
[Myrtle Laughing]
Pow!
Do you expect to be funny in this scene?.
I'm sorry. I, uh -
Perhaps I could write a funny line foryou.
She's very alien to me.
And I would pray that I could have something to say...
that would make sense.
So that I couldmake sense.
I somehow -
I seem to have lost the, uh, the reality of -
ofthe, uh -
reality.
I -
I dream funny dreams too.
I'm not myself.
[Sarah ] This womanyou're playing...
is as helpless asyou are...
andas helpless as I am.
She has no weapons.
She wants to faall in love, but...
her time has passed.
It's too late. It's as simple as that.
You understand that part ofait, don 't you?
How old are you, Myrtle?.
You see? It's too late.
You understand that, don't you?.
J ust please tell me what this play doesn't express.
Hope.
All right, uh, we'll, uh -
Pick this up later. Let's start with Act I, Scene One.
[Leo] Allright,Jimmy.
Let's getset here.
Bring it down! Come on.
That's it. That's it.
[Man #1 ] Come on, places, please. Let's go.
- [Man #2 ] Put it on the money. Bring it in. - Bring it down!
Would you shut the door on your way out, please?.
Sure.
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
[KnockAt Door]
[ Knocking ]
What's up?.
Be nice.
May I sit down?.
There's no sense in us being enemies.
But I can't beyour friend...
ifl have to contend with your retirement.
Oh, I don't think we'll ever be friends.
Well, we'll just have to live with that.
You know, that was a very good point you made about hope.
Made me realize that you're not completely stupid.
People change... physically.
There's a hell ofaa lot ofa pressure one puts on oneselfa...
by demanding to stay competitive.
[ Children Shouting]
[ Children Chattering ]
[ Girl ] I 'm gonna hit you.
[ Boy ] You're calling me fat?.
Beautiful day.
What do you want to do?. You want to walk?.
- You want to ride?. - I don't care.
Oh, I hate actresses.
She tried to talk to me about age.
Now I askyou. Really.
[ Manny] Come on, walkwith us.
All right, we're gonna walk.
I think it - that went verywell.
- Excuse me. - [ Chuckles ]
Thankyou.
So.
- Well. - Doyou want to have a drink?.
- You guys?. - Yeah. Good idea.
Hold on. Wait for me.
- Myrtle?. - Myrtle?.
- Come on. Have a drink, sweetheart. - Manny, I just can't.
- Are these all the local newspapers?. - Yes, ma'am.
- Areyou all right? - Sure.
- These are today's, aren't they? - [Man ] Yes, these are the morning...
- and those are the afternoon. - [ Myrtle ] Okay.
Would you put those on my bi I l, please?.
Certainly, Miss Gordon.
- What's wrong?. - Five, please.
- Do I have any mail?. - One moment, please.
Nothing. Wouldyou like a key?
[ Mutters, Indistinct ]
[Buzzer]
- Repeat after me:. Baruch. - Baruch.
- Atah. - Atah.
- Adonai. - Adonai.
- Eloheinu. - Eloheinu. - [Buzzer]
- Melech. - Melech.
- Ha'olam. - Ha'olam.
- Dayan. - Dayan.
- Ha'emet. - Ha'emet.
- Praise be thou, O God. - Praise be, O God.
- Righteousjudge. - Righteousjudge.
- Amen. - Amen.
[ Sobbing ]
[ Woman Whispering ] All right. It'll be all right.
I'm Myrtle Gordon.
- [ Sobbing ] Eddie, I'm so sorry. - Excuse me, but this happens to be...
a very, verybad time faorus.
Please be quiet. Take it easy.
[Woman ] I lost my daughter today. You must faorgive us.
I know who you are.
At another time, this house would've been bedlam had you paid a visit.
Come in.
She was trying to seeyou. That's how it happened.
Yes, she was very beautiful. I did see her.
- She had extraordinary eyes. - You don't have children.
Ifyou had, you wouldn't have come here.
No, I don't. I don't have children.
&& [Ballad On Piano ]
[Man ] & Lyin'eyes don't smile at me &
& It kills romance too easily&
& Forlove is like coming home again &
[ Woman ] Can I fareshen you up a little bit, Miss Gordon?
- & Hold my breath and count to ten && - Uh, yeah, butjust one more. I've got a show to do tonight.
Listen, I don't want to impose upon you, but this joker's been begging me to get a couple autographs faor his kids.
Would you m i nd terri bly?.
- No, that's fi ne. - Fantastic. There you are.
- I told you she was a fantastic broad. - Great. Thankyou, Miss Gordon.
Thanks. [Laughing]
- How are you, Kelly?. - Workin'. Hangin'up clothes.
You're looking good.
Well, we all have to please.
We have to please our audiences. Isn't that right, Mr. Victor?
That's right, that's right. Very intelligent.
Hey.
You're not funny anymore.
It's a serious play, Manny.
Look at that. Isn't that wonderful?. She knows it's a serious play.
[ Chuckles ]
I mean it. You're not funny anymore.
You used to break me up.
That's right. I'd just have to look atyou. I'd fall on the floor laughing.
Butyou've changed.
Yourwhole countenance has changed.
You're likesomeproudqueen.
I thinkyou're in line faora faewbadhabits.
So I'm gonna takeyou out afterthe show.
Then I'm gonna take off all my clothes...
and showyou this beautifaul body.
[ Laughing]
Hey.
You're the most exciting woman that I 've ever known.
And the greatest actress.
- But you're no fun anymore. - It's a sad play. She didn't write it.
Sit down, willya, please?
Look in the mirror. Am I beginning to look like Humphrey Bogart to you?.
- Now, wait a minute. Let's discuss that. - No, answer the question.
- Am I or am I not Humphrey Bogart?. - You're upsetting her, Manny.
- Shut up, please, Kelly. - She doesn't sleep at night.
There's no time. She has to go on.
I'm not funny because I can't take myself seriously anymore.
- I'm just so struck by... - [KnockAt Door]
the cruelty in this damn play.
[Man ] Miss Gordon?
You're on.
[Man ] Houselights down. Places, please!
Curtain!
[Applause ]
[Actors Performing, Indistinct ]
Hey! There's a woman here!
Hey, and she ain't bad-looking either.
Hey, she left.
- Virginia! Hey. - Tony!
- Tony! What are you doing?. - Look.
I'm married. Give me a break.
- I'm gonna have a heart attack. - Me too.
- Areyou kidding?. You're wonderful. - You're wonderful.
[Man ] Tonydoesn't like me to interfere.
Charlie, get away from the door.
[ Charlie ] Maybe she's a house detective farom the noise.
[ Woman ] I'm sorry. I'm going out there.
- [ Woman ] What happened? - They're near the staircase. They're talking.
- Do you think he knows her? - Yes, it's the fairst wifae.
You've got to understand. I t's a shock for me to see you.
I 'm not seeing you alone on a street corner. I didn't bump into you in a crowd.
[ Chuckling ]
- [Applause ] - Hello.
What the hell is going on here?. Who's this dame?.
This is Virginia.
Wait a minute, Virginia!
Wait a minute.
I expectyou to say hello to myfamily.
- Hello. - Hello.
This is, uh - This is my ex-wife from 1 2 years ago.
And this is my newwife.
Wait a minute, Virginia.
- Listen, I'm reallyawfaullysorry tojust come in like this. - This is my sister-in-law, Carla.
- I want you to meet Charlie Spikes. - I should've given some -
- This is Charlie Spikes. - I got a letter from home that said Tonywas gonna be here.
- My daughter, Leona. - Hi.
Mywife, Lena. This is Virginia. Say hello to Virginia.
- Shake hands. Come on. - I feel I'm intruding.
You haven't met my son Vito! Goddamn it, no!
- You haven't met myson Vito. - What's going on?.
- Get awayfarom me! - Charlie, leave him alone. He's an ass.
And you shut up too!
This is my wife.
She's a princess.
See my kids?. I got a lot of kids.
I got three here, and I got two back home.
My wife hates the population explosion too...
but she don't mind having them, because she has easy babies, that's right.
- Ease off, Tony. - Get away from me!
She goes in, and 1 2 minutes later, pop! They come out.
- All right, Tony. What areyou doing, Tony? - That right?.
Lena, listen. You don't understand what I'm saying.
I'm saying that because Virginia doesn't like kids. I don't want my kids near her.
- You're out ofline, Tony! - Tony,just leave him alone!
Just leave him alone, you bully son ofa bitch!
How dareyou?. Who doyou thinkyou are?.
- You have no right! - All right, I'm sorry.
This is Carla. I'm not afraid ofyou! I'll kickyou rightwhere it hurts!
- All right, I'm sorry. - [Lena] What doyou want?
What kind ofwoman areyou?.
Lena, come here. Come here!
Justsit down.
- [ Carla ] Tony- - [Tony]Just sit down.
Listen,you son ofaa bitch! Keep awayfarom me!
- [All Shouting] - Goddamn it, I'll killya!
- Stop it! - Stay the hell away from me!
- Will you cool it! - Keep him away from me!
- Just get him awayfarom me! - [ Carla ] Can'tyoujust stop it?
I mean, you're hurtingyour wifae! You're hurtingyour kids!
[ Virginia ] I'm so sorry.
I'm - I'm so sorry.
See this?. [ Chuckles ]
I wore this veil because he used to be so crazy about veils.
I'm sorry. I'm a stupid woman, and I -
This is very embarrassing, and I'm just sorry.
It's just that there's such a difference between whatyou dream about...
and what's really there, isn't there?.
- [ Groans ] - What's the matter?.
- [ Sobbing ]
Come on, now. Stop that. Stop being a pissant.
Go out there and play the shit out ofit.
Come on now.
You got it.
Go on.
[Marty] I'm sore atyou. I don't know why.
[ Chuckling]
What are you doing, talking to your pictures?.
Where were you?. I've been home all afternoon.
I've been home for a couple ofhours.
Hey.
Marty, I want to tell you something.
Is it the end ofthe world?. You want a drink?.
No, it's not the end ofthe world.
What is it?.
I'm not good enough foryou.
- You're not good enough for me?. - No.
Well, I don't want to hear that.
I really don't want to hear that. You're my inspiration.
Before I metyou, I was -
I was a bum. I was a drunk. I was a drunkwith a pad.
I was W.C. Fields without a nose.
I was Dean Martin without any charm.
I was no good, really.
I -
I thought that small talkwas too small.
I thought big talk was too pretentious.
I thought musicwas noise...
and I thought artwas bullshit.
That's what I thought.
I knowyou're no good, Virginia.
You're just a girl, two legs. I know that.
But I loveyou.
You see, I'm not too secure. I'm step by step.
But I knowyou, you see.
I knowyou because I look atyou whileyou sleep.
Did you know thatyou sleep with half your eyes open?. Did you know that?.
I went to see my first husband today.
Oh. Well. Really?.
How was he?.
Was he interesting?.
Was he good-looking?. Still?.
Was he...
disappointing?.
No, I guess not. Well, that's normal, you know.
Listen, I promised I'd never double-cross you.
I toldyou as long as I was here, I'dbe straight withyou.
[Sighing]
I was very much in love with you, Virginia.
When was that?.
No, come on, really. I would like to know.
You don't get to me.
You want to get to me?. You don't get to me.
There's no way foryou to get to me.
You want to take dope?. Go ahead. You want to get drunk?. Go ahead.
You want to go out with some guy, 4:.00 in the afternoon?.
Be with some guy?. Go ahead. That's your problem.
What a mess I am. I'm begging again.
You want to beyoung again, is that it?.
Oh, Marty. [ Shouts ]
[ Sobbing ]
All right, get up.
Sweetheart, get - Sweetheart, did I hurtyou?.
[ Continues Sobbing ]
Virginia, I didn't hityou that hard.
[ Whispers ] For Christ's sakes, get up!
[ Continues Sobbing ]
I'll -
Areyou all right?. I was gonna call a doctor.
Don't be afraid.
I - I loveyou.
You're a wonderful actor, Maurice.
We must never forget this is only a play.
Well...
[ Chuckling ]
[Laughs ]
[Manny] I think it's wonderful how you told everyone Maurice is an actor.
I mean, no one would have known ifayou hadn't told 'em.
And I think it's marvelous...
how accurately you described to the audience...
what they were watching: a play.
- Bravo. - [ Myrtle ] You're being sarcastic.
[ Sarah Sighs ] Then you understand something.
- Myrtle, do you like the part? - No!
- You feel she's confused?. - She's not confused, no.
You feel she's happy?. You feel she's sad?. What is it you feel?.
[David] Manny, excuse me a minute.
But does she - does she wreckyou?.
Does she distressyou so much you can't sleep at night?
[Manny] David, I knowyou're trying to help, but -
How can you represent someone ifayou have no respect faor her?
I mean, we al I know you changed all the lines tonight.
Doesn't that tell you something?. Don't you say to yourself...
""Myrtle, maybe I'm not so smart.
""Maybe Sarah's play has something to say.
""Maybe I haven't loved anything in my life.
Maybe I should've gotten married. Maybe I should've had children."
Did that ever occur toyou?.
Years ago.
I don't want any smart answers!
I don't know what the hell this is.
What is it? You want to be lovedon the stage?
- No. - You faeel this woman is sick?
- No. - You faeel she's confaused?
[Sighs ] She's not confaused.
You feel she's happy?. You feel she's sad?. What is it you feel about her?.
Nothing.
[Sarah ] Listen, every word that Myrtle says...
is on paper.
Here we're sitting around talking like she has to manufaacture the words.
[ Chuckles ]
You see, there's Act I, Act I I, Act I I I.
Al I you have to do is say the I i nes clearly...
and with a degree of feeling.
And then the - Virginia will appear.
Oh.
Now the goddamn tears.
[ Chuckling ]
Keep me up all night.
I have to tell you I loveyou in front of mywife.
Now we getyour goddamn tears.
[David]Aw, come on, Manny. That's too strong.
All right.
David, I want to talk to her.
Wait outside, will ya?.
Okay.
I'm not sore at you.
[Sarah ] Come on in.
I have a barset up. How about a drink?
- No, thanks. - Oh, come on.
Loosen up a little. Have a drink.
No, thankyou. I don't want one.
Sit down.
Should we call room service?
- You're not hungry?. - No, thanks.
How old are you really?.
I'm trying to be patient. How old are you, hmm?.
I'm 62.
How old are you?.
Well, ifyou can't sayyour age, then you can't accept my play.
I accept my age.
- Why can'tyou read my lines?. - Listen, Sarah.
Every playwright writes a play about herself.
You've written a play about aging.
- I'm notyour age. - What is your age?.
I am aware that, uh, playing an olderwoman is part of my problem.
I have no illusions about being a teenager.
But on stage, you have Virginia having hot flashes.
I don't have hot flashes. I'm not going through menopause.
I'm not ready to play grandmothers yet. You know, you're very clever.
IfI'm good at this part, my career is severely limited.
- Limited to what?. - Onceyou're convincing in a part...
- the audience accepts you as that. - As what?.
As old, that's what. Old.
- Areyou gonna quit?. - No.
I'm looking for a way to play this part where age doesn't make any difference.
Age isn't interesting. Age is depressing. Age is dull.
Age doesn't have anything to do with anything.
Listen, Sarah, I don't have a husband.
I don't have a family. This is it for me.
I mean, I get my kicks out ofacting.
Ifl can reach a woman sitting in the audience...
who thinks that nobody understands anything...
and my character goes through everything that she's going through...
I feel like I've done a good job.
You think that anyone who's old can't be vulnerable?.
That's not what I'm saying.
Well, what are you saying?.
When I was 1 8, I could do anything.
My emotions were so close to the surface...
I could feel everything easily.
But now -
This is years later -
Plays later. Years later.
So, what's the answer?.
I have this dead girl.
You know. You remember that kid that was in the accident.
She's, uh -
She's so open. She's -
She's really -
She's reallyjust on top of everything emotionally.
She's -
She reminds me -
You said you have this dead girl.
What does ""have" mean?.
Is she here now?. In this room?.
Good night, Sarah.
David?.
- I've been waiting foryou. - Oh, I've been with Sarah.
I thought I'd buyyou a drink.
I'm so tired, David.
[Phone Ringing]
Hello?.
[ Ringing ]
Hello?.
No, I - I can't seeyou now.
- I don't want to see you. I'm with someone. - [Hangs Up ]
I'm very concerned.
[Door Opens ]
Well, as long as somebody's going to be with you...
I'll say good night.
- Good night. - Good night, David.
Myrtle, for Christ's sake!
- What the hell areyou trying to prove?. - Give me.
What areyou trying to prove?. You're acting like some grade school theatrical kid, for Christ's sake!
Everybody loves you.
-You're a super, high-priced professional. -I'm what?.
- Now, calm down. - Huh?. I'm what?.
- Calm down, will you?. - What am I?.
I don't know what the hell it is.
What is she? A political faantasy?
A -A farustrated vision ofaSarah's own inability?
I don't know anything about this play. I don't know anything about this woman.
I told my wife tonight. I said, ""Dorothy, I don't know what this play is about."
- I don't know what this woman is about. - Manny, Manny.
She's not even like some bum. You know?. She's not even a bum.
She's not a bitch. She's nothing.
I mean, ifl play her the way everybodywants me to play her...
Iike some little over-the-hill matron...
my career is over.
I'm sick to death ofhearing how old this woman is.
Who gives a damn how old this woman is?.
- Does she win, or does she lose?. That's what I want to know. - I know.
- Is that such a lousy question?. - I know, I know.
I'm beginning to feel guilty for asking, for God's sakes.
&& [Ballad On Piano ]
I like the music.
It's a nice, soothing sound.
I used to play it on my stereo.
I was always alone.
Waiting for time to pass.
Waiting for night to come.
The movies don't start till 6:.00.
I'd dream with the music...
until dinner.
Go to a movie...
or a concert.
Boys.
And men...
older men.
And boys...
always picked me up. [ Chuckling ]
I don't want to hear aboutyour sex life.
[ Sobs ]
[KnockAt Door]
What the hell areyou doing?.
- Ifal couldridmyselfaofayou- - Areyou going overyour lines?.
If only I didn't have to think about what's gonna happen toyou.
Ifl could rid myself of the thought ofbeing yourwife.
Oh, my God.
I knowyou're frightened that I'm going to go too far in the wrong direction.
- You're afraid I'm going to make a fool of myself, aren'tyou?. - No.
You're afaraid that somehowmybehavior...
- is going to undermine you. - Don't, Myrtle.
- Here we go. Come on, Myrtle. - Please, one autograph!
- All right, people. - [ Chattering ]
Miss Gordon's late. Would you let us through, please?.
- Would you let us through, please?. - [ Clamoring ]
She'll sign all your autographs after the performance.
-[Woman ] Couldyoujustsign one? - We're late, darling.
Now, be sweet, sweetheart.
Let us through, huh?. Would you please let us through, darling?.
- [ Woman ] Miss Gordon, please. - I promiseyou -
- I've waited so long to seeyou. - Ifyou're patient...
right after the performance, Miss Gordon will sign all your autographs.
- Let us through now. Let us through. - Thankyou.
- [Woman ] One more. - Right after the show, she'll sign all your autographs, really. That's right.
Believe me, believe me. Right after the show, she'll sign every one.
- We're late. - [Crowd Moans ]
- Oh, myGod, it's - -[ Crowd Continues Chattering]
Be careful, Manny.
Kelly, you've gotta talk to J immy for me about the props in the second act.
That cigarette lighter has to work. And tell him to leave some matches on the bar in case.
I'm going.
I'll be at the Beverly Hills Hotel.
The number is Crestview 6-2221.
Ifyou need me, that's where I'll be.
Ifyou changeyour mind, you call me.
[ Applause]
No smoking, Mr. Victor.
[Phone Ringing]
[Continues Ringing]
Hello?.
Hello, Sophie.
Oh, yes, I'm sorry. I didn't - didn't mean to hold you up.
I just forgot to get back.
Listen, I'm kind ofbusy right now. Can I call you back?.
Okay.
[Myrtle ] Can I have a match, please?
[Audience Laughing]
What the hell is she up to now?
Can I have a match, please?.
- [ Laughter ] - Thanks, Frankie.
I think she's all right.
- Shh! Never mind now. - [ Phone Ringing]
[Audience Laughing]
[ Continues Ringing ]
- Hello?. - I 'm gonna kill that J immy.
[ Virginia ] No, Esther isn't here either. Call back, willyou?
- [ Phone Ringing ] - [ Laughter ]
[ Vehicle Approaching]
[Engine Off]
- Hello. - Hello.
[ Clears Throat ]
I couldn't faind the place. It took me two hours to get here.
[ Chuckling ]
I'm sorry I was so crude to you today.
You shocked me.
I'd have never expected to see you again.
[ Chuckles ] I've thought aboutyou.
I, uh...
expected you to be a great big fat dame by now.
[ Audience Laughing ]
This is just like it was on ourwedding night, you know?.
- Why is she making an exit?. - [Gus ] It's the same wayit was faorme that night.
[ Chuckling]
I mean, I, uh -
I faelt the same waythat night.
[Audience Laughing]
Are you all right up there?.
- [ Tony Chuckling] - This is ridiculous.
[ Tony] You haven't got a back door, orsome way...
you're gonna get out, areyou?
[Audience Chuckling]
These, uh -
These big living rooms always turn me on.
[ Sobbi ng ]
- Is everything all right, Miss Gordon? - Sure.
I thinkyou better get out there. Gus is on stage alone.
You all right up there? [ Chuckles ]
[ Audience Laughs ]
[ Rattling]
Get the curtain down. I said bring the curtain down!
[Audience Laughing]
- [Manny] Which one is it? - It's up there, Mr., uh...
Victor. Thankyou.
How come you got your shirt off?. Hey! Hey! Hey!
Wait! Get that damn curtain up right this minute! Get it up!
Get that curtain up right now! No argument! Get it up!
Up! Up!
Up!
[Audience Laughing]
Humiliating!
[Myrtle ] Okay.
I've changed, haven't I?
- [Audience Chuckling] - [ Tony] You have.
- [ Laughing ] I've aged, haven't I?. - No.
Oh, you can't say that I'm still the same baby I was when you first knew me.
Not the same skin, not the same eyes.
Doyou know how old I am?.
I don't want to know. You look terrific.
Oh, but I feel so different.
Okay, let's go.
Time is a killer, isn't it, folks?.
[ Laughter]
All those lonely nights. You know about lonely nights?.
You betyou do.
How about those lonely days?.
How about them, hmm?.
[ Laughter]
Howyou doing?.
How aboutyou?. You know about those lonely nights?.
- I know whatyou mean. - You do?.
[ Woman #1 ] I really enjoyed it.
- [ Woman #2 ] Wonderful. - [ Woman #3 ] Very, very funny.
Someone said you're the producer. Areyou?.
- Yes, ma'am. - Oh, it was good.
Oh, thanks. That's very nice.
I like the leading parts, but there were too many old-age parts.
- Old-age?. - Yeah.
- She's always good. - Oh, she's marvelous.
Henry liked it. Henry!
Come here, tell him. He's the producer.
- It's a very serious play. - That meansyou didn't like it.
What was wrong tonight?. The play seemed so mixed up.
- Really? - Excuse me.
Mr. Samuels, I talked to five people.
- Yeah?. - Three of them thought it was ""yecch."
Two ofthem hated it. The other one didn't know what was going on at all.
- It's a disaster, a disaster. - It's not a disaster.
Listen, I wantyou to get Zeitz up here first thing in the morning. The first thing!
Get out of myway. Don't stand there. Go do whatyou're told.
I can open the door. Beat it.
[Myrtle ] Okay, so I got a faewlaughs tonight.
Listen, I've seen worse nights than that, babies.
I've seen - seen drunks in the audience...
heart attacks, lines screwed up...
nerves, dope, theaters burning.
- What are we talking about here? - Al I ri ght, Myrtle, I isten to me.
Half the audience loved the play.
The other half hated it.
- But you're still my favorite star. - That's not what I was talking about. You know that!
[ Gus ] What are they, blind?
[Sarah ] What are we gonna do?
[Maurice ] Look, it's Myrtle's problem.
It's up to you, Myrtle, ifyou wanna straighten yourself out.
She's the only one that can solve it.
Listen, you liar, you just shut up and don't talk to me anymore.
- [Maurice ] Hey, I'm on the stage withyou. -[ Manny ] What do you think is going wrong?.
-Nothing. -She doesn't think anything's going wrong.
- Is it the girl that was killed?. - [ David ] What girl?. - No.
- The autograph hound. - [Maurice ] The girl that was killed?
Have you, uh -
- Have you seen her since she died?. - [Manny] Oh, Sarah, please.
- No. - Uh, now - [ Stammers ]
Sarah, I don't know what the hell you're talking about.
The problem is here with us. Let's not complicate it with never never land.
[Sarah ] Look, the name ofathis play is The Second Woman.
The girl dies, and Myrtle can't cope with it.
[ Gus ] Who is this girl?
Did you see her?.
All right. Okay, I have seen her, but not like you think.
I mean, I made her up.
She's mine. She's my fantasy.
I wanted to see how it would feel like to be, uh -
To be young again.
Whatever. If that makes you happy.
Was she on the stage with you again tonight?.
No!
Look, would I let anybody go on stage faorme? Areyou crazy?
-[David] Doyou know what's going on? - No.
Can I take Myrtle to my spiritualist?.
- Oh! Wait a minute. -[David] Spiritualist?
- [All Chattering, Murmuring] - Wait a minute.
Myrtle, you were never in it tonight, not for a moment.
Now, I don't know whether it's because you don't want to, because you can't...
because you're nuts, I don't know.
Or because, uh, the play's about aging and, uh...
you're repulsedbyit.
I don't know.
But I think it's an important play.
And, uh, ifyou don't put yourself out -
I mean, ifyou don't feel the pain of the losing of, uh...
passion and, uh -
[ Manny Groans ]
Look, ifalput a call in to New York, we'll be there in less than two hours.
I'll take her to my spiritualist, and we'll be back in time for rehearsal tomorrow.
I don't want anybody to misunderstand this lunacy.
It's made up. I can control it.
It's - It's - I - Ijust let myimagination go a little bit.
[ Sarah ]Are you sure it'sjustyour imagination?
I can make her appear or disappear at will!
Please come and sit down.
Hello, Sarah. How are you?.
- Oh, and you must be Miss Gordon. - Yes. How are you?.
- Fine. Please sit down. -Thankyou.
Sarah.
- Is it okay ifl join the seance?. - Please do.
Thanks.
Doris, get the candles.
Can't see in the pitch black, you know.
And bring Frank in.
We need a fan. When we close the doors, it gets stuffy in here, you know.
Now, Sarah...
from what you've told me on the phone...
this couldbe a misplacedphenomenon...
Iooking for a way to cause trouble.
Well, I believe that Nancy exists...
but, uh, only in my mind.
I'm an actress...
and the play that we're doing right now...
is about the gradual lessening...
of my power as a woman...
as I... mature.
Uh...
at some time in life youth dies...
and the second woman in us takes over.
I believe that Nancy is the first woman in my own life.
Nancy. The girl who got killed?.
- Yes. - I see.
Actresses create characters.
I created Nancy because I thought there were...
certain scenes in the play where I was having trouble...
uh, visualizing my own life.
[ Chuckles ] I'll do anything.
I drink, I-
I stayup all night, I -
- You're so right. -[Myrtle Chuckling]
I'll dojust about anything...
to make my character more authentic.
I always have.
I see.
[ Sighs ] Well...
Iet's turn up our hands, everyone, and put them flat on the table.
I'd like to seeyour palms, um, darling.
Doris, get apan ofawater anda wash rag, please.
Yourhands were smudged.
Must have brushed against you.
This, uh, Nancy ofayours, Myrtle, is a bad girl.
She's very tough.
I faeel she's very near to us now.
[ Myrtle ] Well, what do you want me to do?
Lower the lights, and, Frank, light the candles, please.
I 'm sorry. I - I t's, uh -
You want to protect this kid, honey?.
I -I just don't know how to explain it.
It's, uh - It's like when you were a child...
and you had an imaginary friend.
You know, someone thatyou made up?. She doesn't exist.
Well, at least nowyou know.
At least I know what?
A lot of people think theyoung girl in us is important.
Not too manyyears ago...
I went around pretending I was 18.
But I wasn't.
I was 60.
Take a snooze, huh?.
Night.
Well, uh, listen, thankyou. You know?. That was -
Oh, that's all right. Get some sleep, will ya.
- Go on. Sleep. - You too.
Where areyou?.
[ Sighs ]
You know it's notyour fault.
You're only 1 8.
It's not my fault either.
I'm an actress.
I have to...
I - [ Groans ]
Ohh!
[ Panting ]
[Myrtle ] Hello!
Hello.
- Listen, you know who I am, don'tyou?. - Mm-hmm.
Well, the door to Miss Goode's suite is locked.
- Mm-hmm?. - Well, I'm locked out.
Oh. You're from up in the penthouse, aren'tyou?.
I - I need to get in.
- Haveyou got the key?. - I have some keys.
I don't know ifl have the key to Miss Goode's room.
Would you try one, please?. I'm sureyou can get me in.
I haven't seen you in the movies in a while.
- I'm doing a play. - Oh, I heard that.
Let's see ifthis one works.
No, that doesn't.
Let's try this one.
[Knocking]
- Thankyou. - That's too much.
That's really too much.
You're just great. Thankyou.
[ Groaning ]
[BangingAgainst Wall]
Oh, my God. What are you doing?.
Don't worry, Sarah.
I'm doing this to myself.
I'm a little shook.
Useyour bathroom?.
[ Myrtle Sighs ]
[ Water Running ]
[ Myrtle Clears Throat ]
I'm a little shook up.
Be all rightwith you ifl spent the night?.
- Wereyou with her last night?. - Yes.
[Sarah] Manny, she's crazy.
- Sarah, we've been waiting for two hours. - I've never seen behavior like this.
- Two precious hours of rehearsal. - She's got to be replaced.
Oh, you want me to replace her now?. One day before New York?.
Thankyou very much.
- Let's go. - Yes, sir.
- Leo, tell everyone to take a break. We'll be back in a halfhour. - Right.
[ Engine Starts ]
[Manny] I hadan affaira couple ofayears ago. You know about it.
Nineteen-year-old girl.
[ Chuckles ]
You don't think I was making a faool ofamyselfa?
Think every time I took my shirt offl didn 't...
wanna be younger?
I had my nails done, my faace massaged.
Had a container ofabreath spray in my pocket at all times.
I left my wife, I left my chi ldren...
and I had to suffer the humiliation of going back...
after a scene with the kid where she very politely told me I was too old for her.
I made her uncomfortable.
But I understood that.
All the work I'd ever done...
she went to bed with, very passionately.
That's why I thought you'd like the play.
It has so much ofyou in it.
You mean I shouldn't...
fool myself anymore...
to keep holding on.
No.
Then what? What doyou mean, Manny?
What I'm trying to say is that you're a...
delicate, experienced...
exciting woman...
who I find attractive beyond comprehension...
a woman who amazes me with herlack ofabeliefain herselfa.
Manny...
-Jesus Christ. - I'm in trouble.
I'm not acting.
You know the last day before New York I'm always nervous.
But I always win. I-I-I'm a strong person.
I'm not some -
But this... age thing...
it just has me coming offthe wall!
- What's the line, Leo?. -[Leo ] ""Vito, go in thejohn. '"
Come on, boys, pick upyour cues. This scene has to bounce. It has to pop!
-[Vito ] What doyou think I'm here faor? - [Maurice ] What need is that?
[ Gus ] She needs loving. Every woman needs that.
- [ Myrtle ] Manny, what is this scene about? -[ Manny] Good scene! It's aboutyou!
[ Maurice ] You lockyour kid in the bathroom! Is that it?
- Let's take a break. - Sarah!
[ Manny] No, I wanna see the faight by the numbers.
- You've gotta hel p me. You've got - Sarah. - No. Let go of me.
Stop it. I 'm not going anywhere -
- Sarah! Come on! - No, I don't want to!
- Quiet! - Come on!
- Oh, shut up, David! -[Loud Thump ]
- [Sarah ] Hey! Leave me alone! - Where are the Bobbsey Twins going?. I don't want another disappearing act.
[ Myrtle ] I'm out of control.
- You mustn't be out of control. - You've gotta get me somebody else.
- Somebody else. Not that first dame. That first dame did something crazy! - What did she do?.
- I don't know. It was like - - Myrtle. Myrtle.
- We'll get a car. We'll find somebody. - Don'tyou understand Mannyis concerned?
- With all this trouble, we wanna be sure everything is all right. - I don't care about Manny!
Everything is not all right. Don't you understand?.
I don't like the way that son of a bitch is treating me!
He treats me like I'm some over-the-hill matron. I don't like being spied on either!
I can't go to the bathroom around here without somebody thinking I'm having a breakdown!
A-Areyou all right?.
Am I all right?. Am I all right?.
- David, please let me talk to her alone. - Sarah -
- Please. Please. - All right, go ahead.
Let's get out ofhere. Don't tell me you don't know what I'm talking about.
You got me into this. You're gonna get me out ofit.
- Well, you can do it. - You understand me?.
What doyou want me to do with your clothes?. Go to the hotel and pack?.
- I don't care! - Yes, would you, Kelly, please?.
- After rehearsal I'll take her into town. - Okay, sweetie.
[ Myrtle Whispers ] You're going to call somebody, right?.
- Six dollars, lady. How long you gonna be?. - Five minutes.
All right. Hey, Mack! Get going. Thankyou. Come on, get going.
Areyou sure you don't want me to staywith you?.
No.
You just introduce me to her.
That's all I want.
Miss Gordon, you are looking completely charming today.
- Thankyou. - Can I get something foryou?. Ah!
[ Snaps Fingers ] Hurry.
Nice to seeyou again, Miss Gordon.
Thankyou.
That little bitch!
[ Laughs ] Oh, thereyou are!
Now... Mmm, don't be worried. Promise?.
And don't be nervous. I'll call you. Okay?.
Good-bye, Sarah. I'll call you.
Maurice.
Can I takeyour order now, Miss Gordon?.
- Uh, nothing for me. - Miss Drake?.
Could we - Could we do this thing now?.
Oh, I thinkwe'd better go to my room.
Grand Marnier?. A little apricot brandy?.
Nothing. Nothing at all. Thankyou.
Sit in that comfortable chair.
I like this old one. It creaks.
Now -
Now, uh...
Nancy is her name?.
There you are.
- Oh. - You are something!
-[Myrtle ] What does that mean? - It means I'm no fucking spirit!
- What does that mean?. - I have never bothered you.
You want to kill me.
I devoted my life to you...
to movies, to music...
the theater.
I'm 1 7 years old.
I like sex.
I like to turn people on.
And that's what the theater is - it's sex.
It's like getting laid.
Um, what did you do to her?.
[Crashing]
I'm not afraid ofyou.
You're an olderwoman.
You're frightened, and you're a coward.
Listen, I have a -
I have this play. You know that.
I have to do it.
Ifyou hurt me...
I won't be able to act.
Make friends.
Really, I'm sorry.
- No, don't do this. - Stand still!
I just wanna shake your hand.
Don't - Don't do this.
- Don'tyou wanna touch me?. - No -
[ Groaning ]
[ Panting ]
[Glass Shatters ]
[ Whimpering ]
[ Myrtle Groaning ]
[Myrtle Gasps, Yells ]
[Myrtle Continues Panting]
Miss Gordon.
Is she dead?.
Listen, Miss Gordon, why don't you sit in the lobby here and have a drink?.
- No. - I'll get you a nice glass ofwine.
- No, thankyou. Good-bye. - You sure?.
-Doyou want me to callsomeone? - No. Thankyou. Thankyou both.
Uh, excu - Could I - Could I have a - Doyou have a light?.
- Yes, miss?. - Hello, Wally.
You don't remember me.
[ Laughing ] Miss Gordon, by God!
It's so goodtoseeyou back. I didn't know whoyou were, looking like a farump.
Well, welcome back.
Is he, uh - Is he upstairs, Wally?.
Yeah, it's been about, oh, half an hour or so.
Is he by himself?.
- You know, I really missed you. -I missedyou too.
[ Knocking Softly]
-[Banging On Door Continues ] -[Myrtle ] Open up,you son ofaa bitch.
Hello. How are you?.
- Fine. How are you?. -Fine. How areyou?
- Fine. -It's reallyyou.
It really is.
The big star pays the little actor a visit.
You know what I was thinking about?. I was thinking about my life.
I was thinking about the opening.
Now, I wanna get some sleep.
Doyou love me?.
I'm gonna close this door now.
What am I asking?. What am I asking?. Come on, take a chance.
Listen, look, let's take this play, let's dump it upside down...
and see ifwe can't find something human in it.
I mean, there has to be more...
when two people have cared for each other for a long time...
besides agony.
Heh?.
Areyou with me?.
I'm not bitter atyou.
Ah, this is not right. No.
- You are a - - It's because I knowyou.
I knowyou verywell. I knowyou want me to make an ass of myself on that stage.
Well, theydon'tpayme enough to make an ass ofamyselfa. Doyou understand?
[Knocking On Door]
Well, look at this.
You don't invite me in. You don't -
don't offer me a cup of coffee, a cigarette.
Well?.
[ Scoffs ]
Well...
Iove moves at a hell of a rate of speed, doesn't it?.
What -Where - Leo?. Leo!
[ Stage Crew Members Conversing, Indistinct ]
Where the hell's he going?.
[David] Two hundred thousanddollar advance! I gotta give that moneyback!
- [ Knock On Door ] - The situation remains the same.
The ads have been bought. The money -
- [David Interrupts, Indistinct ] - Wait! The money's been spent. They're in.
I don't care if the theater's burning down. Not now.
It's Miss Gordon. She's on the phone.
From, uh, Miss Gordon.
What phone?. What phone?.
The other phone.
Backstage, upstairs.
- It's the phoneyou got the call from Philadelphia on. - All right, all right, all right.
- [ Crew Members Conversing ] - Manny, I'm going out ofmy mind!
Bewith you in a minute!
[Stage Hand] This wallhere, right?
Hello. Myrtle. Myrtle?.
That son of a bitch!
-Jimmy, come here. -[Sarah ] Is she all right?
[David] Is she coming?
Did you talk to her?.
What did she say?.
- Was she sober?. - I don't think so.
Did you tell herwe had search parties out for her, the police, everybody?.
-[David] Yeah, but is she all right? - She said she was fine.
- [Sarah ] What else didshe say? - Nothing.
She said she'd be here in time to get dressed on opening night.
- Hey, what's happening?. - Well -
- [ Sarah ] Anything else?. - No.
What happened?.
[ Chattering ]
[ Manny] Quarter of7::00.
So what ifit is?.
Where the hell can she be?.
What difference does it make?.
Either she'll be here, or she won't.
She'll be ready, or she won't.
Can't say I'm not depressed, but it's not the end of my life.
What are we gonna do?.
Say she was hit by a car?.
Got pneumonia?.
What doyou wanna do, Sarah?.
We'll just have to wait.
- Anyone?. - What the hell's the point of drinking now?.
We're calm.
Depressed.
There's a difference between being calm and being depressed.
You know, with all the pressure the whole time we were in New Haven...
even when she went wrong, she made me laugh.
In some crazyway, with all of her craziness and all ofher nuttiness...
it was more real for me being up than being in it.
In some nuttyway, it seemed like something real.
I don't know what the hell I'm talking about.
Where the hell is she?.
[ Sarah ] I feel rotten. Don'tyou?.
Yeah. [ Laughing ] I don't think I'm gonna celebrate or anything.
[ Sarah Chuckles ]
[ Mutters ]
- You know, we've got reputations and - - Yeah.
- Well... - I don't know.
you know about reputations.
As a good friend of mine once said, reputations are money.
Yeah, Dave, I know, but I don't know what'll cut out this lousy feeling...
of embarrassment and shame.
We -
Doyou know there are people out there waiting to see -
And you've backed many a fine play...
and I've written a lot of good ones, you know.
[Smattering OfaRhythmic Clapping]
[Rhythmic Clapping Growing Louder]
[ Clapping Continues ]
Ohh! [ Muttering ]
Manny!
- Kelly, she's here! - Oh, thank God!
-[ Man ] What's up? - That's all right.
Sarah! Sarah!
Christ!
Manny. Thank God. She's here.
- What?. - She's here.
All right, get everybody out ofthe hallway. Now.
- Everybody?. - Now. Out.
- All right, out ofthe hallway, please. - What's up?.
Uh, everything's fine. She's here. Get ready. Get your clothes on.
[ Myrtle Sighs ]
[Myrtle ] Manny?
I'm late. [ Clears Throat ]
[Manny] Just walk away.
Go up faront. Do whateverit isyou do.
[ Sighs ]
All right.
I'm late.
We'll get some coffee in you. Then we'll see.
Buddy.
[ Sighs ]
- Ow. - Leave her alone, Leo. She'll get up.
Leave her alone.
Don't help her, Leo. I said don't help her, goddamn it!
- Manny - - Leave her alone!
Oh, horseshit!
- Get up. - Leave her, goddamn it!
- You stay away! -[Leo ] I don't wanna hearit!
[ Leo ] What does it prove?.
[ Exhaling ]
All right, walk.
Walk.
- [ Myrtle Groans ] - [Kelly Whispers ] Come on.
[Leo ] Come on, hon.
You can make it. Come on.
All right, Leo, let her go.
Walk away, Leo!
[ Leo ] She can't make it!
She's out.
[ Groans ]
[ Manny ] Come on. Come on.
- All right, leave us. - [ Leo ] All right, Kelly, let's go.
[ Kelly] Want me to leave?.
No, no.
You're part ofthe family.
What the hell's the difference?.
I can't believe she'd walk in this drunk.
- Manny?. - I'm closing the show. We're closing.
- She's here. She's here! Places! - All right!
Where's Jimmy?. Jimmy! Get the cast on.
She's here. Come on! Quickly!
[Leo] Go aroundback!
She's here! Uh, all right, everybody!
We'll be going on in a few minutes! Five, ten, I'm not sure.
Now, getyour clothes on, come downstage! We'll be going! All right!
Everything is fine! We'll be going out! Thankyou!
Thankyou!
- [Leo] Makeup? - [ Kelly Sighs ]
Yes.
Sweetheart, drink this.
- [ Clearing Throat ] - Hey.
[ Myrtle ] Oh, I'm sorry. I'm a foolish woman.
Yeah, well, I'll betyou six-to-five you don't make it out ofthis dressing room.
You make it toyour second entrance, you know who's gonna be waiting foryou?.
Maurice.
Embarrassing.
Now, David, I know this is crazy, merely conjecture...
but she's drunk enough -
- I'm alone. - I bet the audience is gonna love her.
No, I'm not alone. I'm not alone.
- I've been married. -Leo.
- You should tell Mr. Victor, Mr. Samuels... - I been with this guy three years.
Miss Goode, that I don't know what to do about the audience.
- Five minutes,Jimmy. We'll be there. - They're rowdy. The catcalls.
- [Leo ] Out! - I don't thinkwe can hold them.
- Leave! Out! - After that, I was just floating.
I, uh, think, uh...
we'll have to make some kind of announcement.
[Myrtle Muttering] I wouldalways think ofaTony.
- Leo. [ Clears Throat ] -[Myrtle Continues Muttering]
[ Leo ] Five minutes, Manny?.
Perhaps she can do it.
[Myrtle Whispers ] I think ofaTony.
I never had any children. I don't care about 'em.
[ Rhythmic Clapping Continues ]
[Applause ]
- Thankyou, ladies and gentlemen. -[Audience MemberChuckles ]
Our producer, Mr. David Samuels, would like to say a few words to you.
[Audience Groaning, Murmuring, Hissing]
- Mr. Samuels. -[Audience Applauding]
Thankyou. Thankyou, ladies and gentlemen.
May I - May I really apologize for this long wait...
and, uh, thankyou foryour patience.
We've had a, uh, a small disturbance and a problem backstage...
and the curtain will go up in a minute.
- Thankyou. - [AudienceApplauding]
Okay, props in place?. Everybody ready?.
Curtain going up. Places.
House lights down. Places, please.
Curtain!
[ Cheering, Applause ]
[ Children Shouting, Screaming ]
[Tony] Son, come here. Vito.
- Son, take this $20... - [ Sighing, Gasping ]
and take these people to the movies.
Come on, let's go! Let's move it! Let's move it, let's move it!
Go! Let's go! Come on!
Vito! Son, come here. Vito.
Take this $20 and take these people -
[ I nhales ]
[ Vito ] Hey, there's a woman here!
Hi. My name is Vito.
Virginia! Hey, wait a minute! Hold it!
[ Lena ] What the hell are you doing, Tony?
- [ Murm uri ng ] - [ Coughi ng ]
[ Myrtle ] Okay. Okay.
[ Lena ] You faind out what the hell is going on around here!
- [ Whispers ] I 'm okay. -[ Lena ] Come back in the room!
Damn him! Been married to a nut for 1 2 years!
- Charlie, get awayfarom that door! -[ Manny Whispers ] It's your show now.
If it becomes too impossible, you ring down the curtain. Understand?.
[ Leo ] All right, Manny.
[Manny] Keep pumping coffee into her. Black coffee.
[Actors Continue Speaking On Stage ]
[ Lena ] I don't know. I don't care.
- [ Carla ] Do you think he knows her? - [ Lena ] Yeah, he knows her.
- It's the fairst wifae. - [ Charlie ] Wifae?
- [ Lena ] He had her by the wrist. - [ Charlie ] Did he hurt her?
- [ Lena ] You think I'm gonna interfere in that kind ofabullshit? - [ Whispers ] You sure?.
I t's a shock for me to see you. I 'm not seeing you on a street corner somewhere.
I didn't bump into you in a crowd.
[Audience Applauding]
[Lena ] What the hell is going on here? Who is this dame?
[ Tony] This is Virginia.
This is, uh, my, uh, ex-wifae farom 1 5 years ago.
And this is my new wifae. Say hello to Carla.
- Hel lo. - That's Carla.
Charl ie Spi kes, my brother-i n-law. Charlie Spikes.
[Audience Laughing]
[ Tony] Wait a minute!
Goddamn it, no! No!
No!
[Audience Continues Chuckling, Laughing]
I 've gotta get a glass ofwater. I can't -
Never mind the water. I said, what do you want?
[ Vito ] Dad's gonna hityou again.
What kind ofwoman are you?.
Hey. Come here. Sit down.
- Sit down. - Let go of my arm.
- I said sit down! - Stop it, Dad.
- Sit down. - Take it easy. You're bigger than she is.
- [ Shouting ] - Hey, Tony, leave my house!
- Goddamn it, leave my house! - [ Shouting Continues ]
- How dareyou act like this?. - Leave him alone! How dareyou!
Look, I - I even wore this veil because...
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I -
I'm a veryfaoolish woman, and I- This is very embarrassing.
It'sjust that...
I'm alone.
No, I'm not alone. I've been living with this guy faor - faor severalyears...
and- and I was married to someone else befaore Tony...
and I don't - I don't even know where he is.
I was just -
I was just floating around...
and I-
- [ Carla ] Go on. - You were married, you and hi m.
- Right, honey?. - Yeah, but it didn't mean anything.
It was just for a little - little bit oftime. It didn't mean anything.
- You have any kids?. - No. No.
I don't have any kids.
- [ Groans ] - Virginia. Virginia!
- Come on. - Tony.
- Hey, Tony. - In the bedroom.
- Put her down, Tony. - Leave me alone, will ya, Lena?.
This woman is hurt.
I'm not gonna do anything.
-[Lena ] Put her down, Tony. - I'm gonna layher down on the bed.
[ Charlie ] Come on, we all love you, Tony.
You wanna hit me? Go ahead and hit me.
[ Lena Sobbing ]
[ Audience Laughi ng ]
[ Charlie ] Tony? Tony?
Come on, Tony. We all love you, Tony.
You wanna hit me?. Go ahead and hit me.
You're myfariend. You're my best fariend.
[ Lena Continues Sobbing]
[ Charlie ] Everybody loves you. Your kids love you.
Come on.
[ Crashing]
[ Kel ly Mutteri ng ] Come on, baby, it's coffee ti me. Let's go.
[ Leo Muttering, I ndistinct ]
[Audience Applauding]
[ Patrons Shouting, Laughing ]
- A double scotch, please! - Double scotch.
[ Virginia ] Doyou love me?
[Audience Applauding]
Honey, you better get her dressed.
- Better hurry. We don't have much time. - Okay.
[ Kelly Whispering ] Come on. Here we go.
It's going to be fine.
Easy. Easy does it.
Oh, yeah, you're gonna be fine now.
You were really good.
Yeah, you were just -just fine. Ifwe can just get over this -
[ Leo ] Okay, straighten up. Here we go.
You're gonna make it.
- You all right?. - Terrific.
[Jimmy] Places, please.
The show's going well.
- We'll all have some champagne later. - [ Sighs ]
[ Laughs ] Orwhatever.
You're terrific.
&& [Whistling ]
[ Myrtle] I'm gonna burythat bastard.
I think it's going verywell.
Keys, please.
- [Stage Hand] House lights down. - Seeya on stage.
- Okay. -[Jimmy] Places, please!
[Jimmy] Curtain!
- [Phone Rings ] - [ Myrtle Groans ]
[ Phone Rings ]
[ Marty] Hello?
Oh. Hello. How are you?
No, your sister isn't here.
No. No.
No -
- Oh, she toldyou. - [ Kel ly ] Come on, baby.
Well... there you are.
No, there's no - there's no point.
- I said, there's no point. - Miss Gordon?.
- Can I say something?. - Sure.
I 've seen a lot of drunks in my day...
but I never seen anybody as drunk as you and still be able to walk.
You're fantastic!
- Thankyou, Bobby. - Okay.
[Marty] That's right. That's right.
I'm not hostile. No.
No, I don't care.
Because I'm goddamnedsick and tired ofawalking into this house...
and fainding it empty, that's why.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Look, I can't talk now, all right? I'm gonna hang up.
Okay, well, listen, it'll either work out or it won 't.
[ Phone Hangs Up ]
[ Keys Jingling ]
[ Lock Rattling, Door Slams ]
Great.
This is funny, you know.
I t's very funny.
Hysterical.
You want to recap it?.
[ Laughs ]
All right, I run off...
to the Beverly Hills Hotel...
and I find myself a little, innocent girl...
and I sit there with her...
and all she can think about is my graying temples.
And you run offwith -
[Marty] Doyou love me?
Listen, Marty...
you object to my going out, right?.
Yes, I do.
-Andmydrinking? - Yes.
Somehow, a cocktail here and there is very destructive.
Yes, I think it is, very.
Well, I've heard your every point ofview.
Every storyyou tell turns out the same way.
A constant, long-winded recital...
about what's wrong with everyone in the whole world.
I tellyou what I think is important faoryou!
Well, I am not me.
I used to be me.
- I'm not me anymore. - What the hell doyou want farom me?
You want me to get down on myknees? What the hell do you want?
Everything you can't give me.
I want youth...
super strength...
dream building, happiness, fun, emotion.
- Babe. - Practically anything.
- Babe, I loveyou. -No, no, no.
I loveyou! I am Superman!
- Hey! - I am Superman!
Oh, you're weird! And you make me feel old.
I am so strong you can't believe it.
- Hey, M - - I am - Aaah! Aaah!
- Aaah! Aaah! Aaah! Aaah! - [Audience Laughing]
I am Superman!
[Audience Continues Laughing]
- What - - We are not we!
- What are we fighting about, Marty?. - We are -
[Audience Laughs ]
What are we faighting about, Marty?
We are absolutely different people than we were.
When I look at my face in the mirror when I'm shaving in the morning...
you know what I see?.
I can see it then in my face.
It's hard to cover it up.
- What?. - There's something deeply cynical about my face.
[Audience Laughing]
It's hard to cover it up.
- Congratulations. - It's hard to cover it up.
[Audience Continues Laughing]
It is very hard to cover it up!
- My heart - -[Audience Continues Laughing]
Myheart pounds! Doyou understand?
My heart pounds! It pounds!
Bah-bah-bah-bah-bum! Bah-bah-bah-bah-bum! Bah-bah-bah-bah-bum!
& Bah-bah-bah-bah-bum &
Mystomach is empty...
and I faeellike screaming.
I am restless...
[ Chuckles ]
with this pose.
Well, I am not me!
And I know that I am someone else!
- Do you think I am too?. - Yes!
Okay, it's definite, then.
[Audience Laughing]
We've been invaded!
There's someone posing here as us.
And you're right. There is something definitelywrong with your smile.
[Audience Continues Laughing]
[ Virginia ] There's one question I'd like answered.
- [ Sighs ] I've gotta go. - [Marty] Yes? What is it?
[ Virginia ] What do you suppose they've done with us?
[ Laughing Continues ]
Do you think they killed us?
Do you think they murdered us?
Do you think we 're dead?
Or do you think we 're just losing our sense ofahumor?
Do you know I used to be very faunny?
- [ Laughi ng ] -[Audience Laughing ]
Whoa!
When were you ever funny?.
- When was I ever faunny? - I 've never heard you tell one stinking joke!
- And you never laugh at anyone else's! Never! Never! -I used to be faunny!
- I used to be veryfaunny. - When?.
When I was a kid.
[Audience Laughing]
-Marty, I've got it. - Good.
I've got the answer.
Good.
Marty, this is terrific. Terrific!
This is a wonderful idea. It's just so easy that it's silly.
- It's, uh - - [ Laughing ]
-Isn't it marvelous the waythe mind works? - Yes.
[ Virginia ] I mean, it's, uh, it's sick...
the waythe mind works.
Listen, it's easy. It's so easy.
The telephone rings. You answer it, right?.
You get sick, you go to the doctor.
Your heart gets broken...
you get someone else.
We're grim, right?. We're grim and we're depressed and we're ""yecch."
We don't have to sit here and take this. We can turn on the lights.
We can dance a little. We can -
Ifwe need touching, we can touch each other.
Hey, Marty, we have each other.
Virginia, for God's sake, I don't want to take -
Hey, no, honest, this is simple. It's simple.
Honest to God, this is the best idea. It's just so simple...
you don't see it.
It means I loveyou. That's what it means. I loveyou!
I don't care ifyou don't think I'm beautiful anymore.
- I do. - And you don't think I'm funny.
- You're hysterical. -[Audience Laughing]
[Virginia ] Well,you don't think I'm capable.
[Marty] I don't thinkyou're capable, no.
Because I swear to God, I never thought about ifayou were capable or not.
[ Virginia ] Yes, but nowyou will, see?
Nowyou'll think about it, and because you think about it, I'll be it.
Because that's what I wanna be. I wanna be capable.
[ Marty] Okay, you're capable!
You're capable and pretty andyoung and wonderful and great and outstanding and -
[ Virginia ] And I love you!
[ Marty] Andyou love me.
And ifal get angry with you, I punch you right in the nose. Is that right?
No. Ifayou get angry, you get over it.
- I t's a lousy idea. - I fyou're depressed, you get over it.
I fyou're selfish - which you are, 90% of the time, Marty -
well,you give me a chance.
All right, angry - happy. Depressed - happy.
The otherway - happy. Changing - happy.
Killing - happy. Depressed, angry - happy.
Everything is happy, right?. That's the answer.
- This is so brilliant. - Worst idea I've ever heard in my entire life.
It'sjust so simple,you reject it.
I'm getting older.
What do we do about that?.
- I do want to be your friend. - Yeah, well, I don't want to be your friend.
Oh, come on, let's be friends, Marty.
[Audience Chuckling]
No.
Well, I sure would like to be friends.
Put 'er there.
[Audience Laughing, Chuckling]
[ Both Laughing ]
Okay. Okay.
Stand up, please.
- Want to see something wonderful?. - Yes!
[Audience Laughing, Applauding]
Uh, how about ifyou stand over here?.
- All right. - [Laughing Continues ]
Okay, then I'm standing over here, right?.
- Now, could you do me a favor?. - Certainly.
Could you raise your right leg?.
The otherway, please.
No. The otherway, please.
[ Laughing ]
No, seriously -
[Audience Laughs ]
We will walk to each other...
- we will try to clasp hands... - Yes?
and we will grab each other's leg as we pass.
- Oh, that's wonderful! - This is an athlete's trick.
- Okay. - Instead of doing, ""Hey, baby! Damn!"
Now?
Wheneveryou say. Ready?.
Hey, baby! What do you say! Ohh! Ohh!
- [ Groans ] - Yo! Yes! Ohh!
- [Audience Applauding] - Okay!
Let's go! Here we go!
[Applause Continues ]
[Applause Continues, Laughing]
[Audience Shouting, Hooting] Bravo! Whoo!
Whoo!
Bravo!
[Applause Continues, Whistling ]
Bravo!
[Applause, Cheering Continue ]
[ Murm uri ng, Chattering ]
[ Kelly ] You really did it this time! Here, have some coffee.
David?.
Ah, Manny.
[ Chattering, Laughing ]
[ David ] Fantastic! Fantastic!
Hey, Leo, how areyou?.
- Fantastic! - Have a little champagne!
-[Boy] I'll take the ice! - [ Woman ] Thankyou very much.
- Please, please. - Thankyou verymuch.
Just what I want!
[ Chattering, Laughing Continue ]
-[Maurice ] Didyou love it? - [Woman ] Wonderful!
-[All Cheering, Applauding] - Bravo! Bravo!
Bravo! Bravo!
[ Kelly] Aww!
Bravo! Bravo!
-[ Man ] Toast! - [ Cheeri ng, Applause Continue ]
Hello! How are you?. Yes.
How are you?. Oh!
-J ust wanted to say I just adored it. - Did you?.
Myrtle is shaking.
Myrtle is shaking!
[Bobby] Hey, Bo was smashedbackstage! He won't come out!
- Come over here. - Where is he?
[David] Marvelous!
I am so drunk, I can hardly stand on these two feet.
- I wouldn't have known. - I will call you when I'm a little clearer.
- Promise?. - Peter?. You know Dorothy, mywife?.
- Peter Bogdanovich. - Lady - Oh, hi.
- Lady, it's a privilege. - [ Myrtle, Dorothy Laughing ]
[ Chattering Continues ]
-[Myrtle ] You liked it? -[Dorothy] Oh!
[Dorothy, Weeping, Laughing] I have so much admiration faoryou!
- [ Myrtle ] Mary seemed to think it, uh - - [ Dorothy] It was wonderful!
Wonderful! Wonderful!
Wonderful! [ Laughing ]
[ Chattering Continues ]
[ Manny] Bobby? Bobby!