So many roads, we've been through
So much happiness, so much pain
Even though the path may get tough, I'm lucky you are walking along with me
You'll be forever in my memories
So much laughter, and so much joy
So I will follow you until the very end
And though it may sound cheesy, you'll always be in my heart
You will always be in my heart
- Come on, Juan, we were about to play cards!
- Yes, I'm coming, start shuffling! - So we have to shuffle the cards, clear the table...
- Can anyone do it for me? - What kind of host are you? - What are you up to?
Comming, comming, here I am!
-Ok, I'll shuffle, -I'm done! -You just concentrate.
- This is our round. - This is our round, my friend.
- Go, go. - This is our round, Peter. - This is our round, Fede. - Right, it is.
I was focusing on getting you the right ones.
Now...
- Now, give me the lowest you've got. - Ace of spades, for example.
- Ace of spades! - Don't listen to him! - But... - He's messing with you!
- But you said the lowest! Ok, let's try again.
- No! - No way! - Ok, I'll explain: this is the highest one, ok?
- Now, do you have envido? - Falta envido! (from Argentinian cards game "Truco")
But how do I know if I have envido?
- I'm explaining to him!! - No, you said it, so falta envido.
Ok, but I'll explain it to him.
- So if we say "I want it". - There, you said it!
- No! I was just explaining it... - You just said it!
Ok, that's just fine.
- Tewnty-seven. -Twenty-eight!
This game is too agressive. I don't want to learn it anymore.
I lived my whole life not knowing this game, I can die the same way.
You know what? Good luck with games means bad luck with love, and love is what will save us all, so you do the math.
Hey, whose phone is that? - That's not mine. - Mine neither...
Oh, come on! - What have we said already?
No cellphones until the third bottle...
... we're still with the second one, pretty good, huh?
- What do you want to play now? - Chinchon?-- Would you please put that thing off?
There, there! Airplane mode, you see?
The problem is this kid is only 18...
... and he believes having a boyfriend will fix his life, but the saddest part is...
... that he is sure that boyfriend is going to be me.
- You see, that's what you get. - Why? - For sleeping around with babies, you perve!
- Proud to be one! - Oh, please!
The problem nowadays is that these little kids are scary!
The other day, I was at the bus stop, and I ran into this guy, 6ft. tall...
He was a dream come true, a huge body, like to take a nap on top of him, you know?
Oh, my, his arms! His forearms!
And when I asked for his age, he said "eighteen"!
I was left speechless! Eighteen years old?
I mean, what have you been eating all your life?
That hairy chest! Did your parents knit you?
Why would you attack me as if I were a prey...
... when you should be playing with your little friends, instead of trying to get old ladies like us--
Hey, hey, calm down! First of all, we are not that old...
And in second place, they come to us because we are incredibly hot!
They want good sex, they're looking for experience...
We're in our thirties, and we can make a mess in the Kindergarten.
- As you say... - Did you notice how 18 year-olds believe they have lived as much as we have...
They really think they're at our level, but they are not.
Not at all, and let me show you something.
- Speaking of these "neo-faggots" codes...
- Take a look at this. - Oh, my goodness! - That's too much!
Come on, it's not that big a deal!
The problem is they don't tell you about codes at school...
Nobody knows what that is anymore...
Listen to this situation: avant-premiere of a well-known movie...
... a very well-known director-- I can't give you names...
...the audience was full of homos, a couple of dykes smoking pot in the back, quite outrageous...
... I'm taking Pato to these events lately, you know?
There's nothing better than taking your boyfriends to these kind of things...
... so you can leave earlier if you really want to get the hell out of there: "He has to work early tomorrow, besides he's not feeling well..."
"... I really loved your work, such an eye for the camera..."
"... such an eye for art, for direction..."
Pity he didn't have both eyes, I mean--
You have no idea how boring that movie was! The thing is...
... we were there, having some wine, critizising...
... I was talking with some colleague I ran into...
... then I turn around to check on Patricio and there was a 23-year-old waiter...
... teeny-tiny guy, who gives him a drink...
... starts whispering to his ear...
... and Patricio smiles at him! Oh my, I ran to them like crazy.
- HELLO! I said. - You left the poor waiter deaf! - Yes, deaf and toothless if I had the chance...
Anyways, Pato, who knows me well, sees me coming...
... obviously says "he's my boyfriend". The little guy turns around, and stares at me like...
He scanned me, can you believe it? What the hell?
And he says: "when you open the couple, I will drive you crazy".
- With that voice? - With that voice!
I got scared, I went pale... How dares he--
- Adriana! - Shut up, Pamela.
Your sex life was all about threesomes and foursomes... and I also remember ICQ...
- I know about that! - Don't make me talk about ICQ!
You were called "the orgy queen"
Alright, ok, I was kind of an orgy planner...
But I never had my boyfriend in the middle of it!
It turned me on, I must say. We got home and I totally nailed it... He nailed it, actually...
Of course, darling! Group stuff with your boyfriend, that's the right path!
You get less karma, much more satisfaction...
... and besides, you have so many options nowadays.
The open-couple...
Yeah, I don't know about that... That's too modern for me.
I don't know if I'd be ready for something like that.
And you have done many--
I still do, baby, but by myself, not with him...
Oh, please, you were speaking of codes a minute ago!
Well, that's kind of a code...
There must be some code left, guys, if not...
... this will turn into the apocalypse, and we'll end up eating each other!
I'm not the kind of person who tries to steal someone else's husband...
... this is totally different. This little guy knew it...
... he saw us together and he did it anyways, that slut!
Right, but we homos don't have much code between us, and that's just the way it is.
Excuse me? I'd like to crear this out, I've always had codes...
Oh, please! Really? Now we'll start behaving like those old faggots...
... who never let go the past, post-gay-era...
... who think "neo-faggots" are weird, that past days were better...
Ok, let me tell you something: neo-faggots are weird...
... but there are others who just pretend to be weird...
... and those are the worst.
They act quietly... myseriously...
They are the perfect combination of darkness and light...
Right, honey?
- What? - That you are gorgeous!
- He never gets a thing! - Leave him alone! - The world could be crashing into pieces and still he'll be looking at his cellphone...
- Oh, let's take a selfie! - Yes, let's do it! - Wait, wait for me!
- Done! - Hurry up or you'll miss it. - Go, go.
- Another one... - As if we were pregnant...
- What? - What kind of pregnant woman was that?
You see what I'm talking about! Which generation are you talking about?
You, old hags, all messed up into the post-homosexual life.
- Easy, boy! - It's fine, you have to understand that speaking of different generations...
... is such a cliché from the 1990s, that died when they made Britney Spears a star.
Now everything has changed, barriers have fallen down, little boys come and hit on us...
... and it's just fine! The only thing that will remain the same over the centuries...
... is karma. What you do, comes back to you.
- You witch! - Don't you call me that!
I have to admit though, new homos are quite ignorant...
The last one, I had to teach how to get exfoliated.
- Really? - The big knitted one? - Yes, and he was so happy!
Because nobody had tought him that you can make yourself an amazing exfoliating solution with some lemon and sugar!
- I had forgotten about that! - The world is full of ignorants.
It's your turn now.
If this is the way you're speaking now, I wonder what you will say when we're 60... What will be next? Sewing, crochet?
Origami, don't forget origami!
I once tried to make a thousand crane birds to make a wish come true...
... and when I got a hundred I burnt them, because I was going blind and I couldn't even remember my wish.
- Come on, Lean... - Let me be!
And what about you? You look like a walking-dead...
I'm worried about my parent's anniversary.
Get over it. Just take it as a weekend off, it's not that big a deal, is it?
Looks like you don't know my parents...
A weekend with them is never a weekend off.
Don't say that, a family reunion is not that bad.
It's always nice to get back to who you are...
... or to who you used to be.
I just don't want to. Why do they have to make me go all the way there--
- Because you are their son. - The gay son.
The gay son in a quite traditional opus-dei family...
... the youngest of three sisters, and three brothers, and the only faggot, a nightmare for any parent!
They always do the same, they invite me last minute, when everything is set, so that I have no chance to say no.
And that's how they force me to go there, smile, speak with people I don't know, see relatives I thought were dead...
... I just don't want to, ok?
I still don't think it's that bad...
Do this: just don't go. That's what I would do...
- Have you guys dismissed your high cards? - No.
-Because... - No! - You can't do this to us! -I wasn't ready yet! - My babies!
- Oh, please! - I have good luck with love, and also with games...
- In the end the only lucky one will be me! - Where are the eights and nines?
- There are no eights and nines. - We never use them.
These are your cards, we all know it...
- And you never told me-- Right, this way I'm never going to win...
Oh my goodness... Sweetie, don't let this whole family thing get to you.
Your family is not that bad! You can digest them with a nice cup of wine...
Oh, no, wait right there...
I know that face, God knows I know it...
That means we have another problem...
The problem is that he has to go by himself!
Oh right! Let's hold our hands together! So which one of your friends is going to be your excuse this time?
I already took you three and they believed you were my boyfriends.
Remember? It's just this ridiculous obsession they have...
... they want to see everyone as a couple, together...
... like being single means you have problems.
Because that's the way it goes, new era...
If you are gay, more than 27 years old and single...
... you are probably a kindergarden rapist!
Hey, don't say that, come on!
- It makes me sick, that and Lanata, it just gets to my--
There... Let it out.
Anyways, I guess I could come again...
I had a great time in that party.
I remember many details...
But I think I can handle it, thank you.
Last time you said that, you ended up pretty messed up...
Excuse me? When did I mess up?
- Don't make me say it. - Now say it, tell me when!
- Do you really want to know? - Don't start it, Juan, you know what comes next.
Just let him speak, Peter, what's this? He throws the rock and then hides his hand...
I do what? You know, I think I'll better keep an eye on you.
- What's wrong with this one? - I don't need you to keep an eye on me, ok?
And since we are allowed to get married, it's even worse.
Don't even start playing Wonder Woman now...
Just stop it, please.
You know you have this combination of a gay super-hero with a jewish mom, it makes you irresistible.
- I know, I know. Give me some black tights, a mask and... - Oh, my!
Alright, alright, but let's get back to the subject, because I'm intreagued...
What will you do now that you're out of excuses?
Lonely mister is out of plans?
Lonely mister will go to Mommy and Daddy's party alone? What a pity!
Lonely mister always has a plan, and he won't drown in a glass of water.
So you finally grew up!
- You told them you're not going! - How could I possibly?
So?
I called an escort agency.
What?
Hello, my darling sweetiepies...
12AM at this birthday--
I mean avant-premiere of you-know-who
I'm just having one of the best moments in my life...
Oh my, take a look at this piece of crap...
... this shitty christmas-tree snack.
I will sue you with bromatology, you pshychopath...
Guys, is the waiter trying to hit on Patricio?
Ok, I will have to solve this by fighting-- What was her problem, please!
HI THERE!
- Pedro, my boyfriend.
HOW ARE YOU DOING? FINE?
Pretty good...
Well, when you open the couple...
I will drive you crazy.
Oh, please, get the hell out!
Bring me a sandwich, this is disgusting.
- You're terrible. - Don't you dare!
And you, get out, bring me a cup of something... Or bring me two.
To share with my boyfriend.
Guys, are you still online?
Did you just see that?
- Excuse me, got a lighter? - Ehm...
You cannot smoke in here...
Well, not in here, but I can in the balcony...
Oh, well... Guys, I kind of have to leave now...
I think I need some fresh air...
There's too much noise in here...
... and I'm feeling dizzy, so...
... this kiss is for you.
Oh, no! I sent this video to the family group!
And I didn't send it to you! What a useless creature!