Presbyterians are called "God's frozen people. "
Wouldn't swing if you hung them.
Oh, yeah!
Is this the Venice Beach courts? Is this the only one?
Wait, you haven't put anything in the offering plate.
- Sorry, man. - Right.
Fifty be all right? I'm just kidding. Here you go.
See, I told you he was a generous man.
Is this where Eddie "The King" Farouk and Duck Johnson played?
King and Duck owned these courts. They were the best ever.
That's because you never saw me.
Keep singing, guys.
My old man was a preacher.
I love this shit.
- He put a dollar in. - So?
- So, we give him a dollar's worth. - Okay.
Look. It's all right.
Walter, throw that big, fat butt at me.
I'm tired of making you look bad.
It's hard goddamn work for a man to make another man look so bad.
Man, I'm fixing to dog you, punk.
I'll dog you right now.
Let me shut this shit up. Give me the ball.
You got the pill.
You shoot, I'll knock it out the skv. You can't take it to the hole.
- You ain't good enough. - You think so?
I don't think. I know.
What are you gonna do? Where you going?
You can't dribble.
Bring it, bring it!
Move, move!
Get that shit out of here.
That shit went out like a SCUD missile. Oh, it hurts, it hurts so bad.
Babies, let me tell you something.
I don't mean to brag, but I'm the greatest. I am the greatest!
- You all right, man? - Yeah.
Get your butt up and play.
Take your little Colt 45-drinking ass off someplace.
Yes, Walter. Hard goddamn work making you look so bad.
Man, you fouled me!
Foul?
- Foul? - Take the ball out and shut up.
What's the count?
-9-8, us. -9-8, you?
Get the fuck out of here.
If you could count, you'd be an astronaut. It's 9-8, us.
George, your mother's an astronaut.
He talking about your mama, man.
He playing you and your mama for a punk.
My mother ain't no astronaut! Say it, say it!
Your mother ain't no astronaut, your father ain't no astronaut, all right?
Well, my mama ain't no astronaut. You understand me?
Look, me saying that your mother's an astronaut....
.... is just another way of saying that you're all fucked up.
Cool. Well, let's just get off mamas, because I just got off yours.
Keep my mama out of this, brother.
She's out.
- She's out. - Cool.
Cool!
She's out.
Cool!
She's out.
What time should I bring the bitch back?
Yo, what's the score?
9-8, us.
What? We can't be losing to you.
If we lose to you, I'll kill myself. I don't want to do that.
- Fuck you, skinny boy. - Fuck this!
You fat motherfucker!
Fuck this!
Shut up. You're giving me Excedrin number trillion headache.
Hey, what's the score?
Chump, vo, I'm talking to you. What, you deaf or something?
- I'm taking to the air. - my name ain't Chump, it's Billy Hoyle.
Billy hoyle.
Billy hoyle!
Billy hoyle. Okay, Billy. Now, can you count to 10, Billy?
- Yeah. - Good.
- What's the score, Billy? - I don't know.
Then you're a chump.
I may be a chump, I just said that wasn't my name.
He punked your ass, Sid!
Fuck you.
Let's go!
8-8, your ball.
It's 9-8, your ball. I don't want no excuses.
I call it even. Your ball.
You better call a doctor. Take the ball.
- It's your ball. - I said it's your...
Take the ball.
- Your woman calling you, man. - Sidnev!
Your woman calling you, man.
Well, at least I got one.
Your mother's so poor, I seen her kicking a can down the street.
She said she was moving.
Your mama's so old, she used to drive chariots to high school.
Your mama's so fat, she fell over, broke her leg and gravv poured out.
- Hev, baby. - Hi, honey.
I was buving food, the check didn't clear and I had no cash.
Baby, I'm sorry. Will a 20 do?
Thirty would be better.
You hustling me? You're the only one who can get away with that.
I got a couple things working here.
I gotta go. Daddy has to go back to work. Thev're trving to cheat me.
Talk to you.
Told your mama to act her age, she dropped dead.
Your mother got a wig with grav sideburns.
Your mama's teeth are so vellow, she can butter a whole loaf of bread.
Shut up. Save your breath.
You need all the energy you can get. Let's go.
- I can't run, man. - What?!
My bunions hurt. Get someone to play for me.
Come here, babv. That's okay. You're still my hero.
That's it, babv.
Wait a minute.
Who can replace Mr. Handicap?
anybody for Mr. Fucking March of Dimes?
Hey, take Billy Ho here.
No, I don't want him.
He might be good.
- I won't go with this. - Whv not?
- Because I'm white. - He's white.
He is white. Look at him.
It won't matter. You could bring Bernard King in.
We hit two, we're out. Swish.
Swish. Let's go, Billy Ho.
Hey, ain't no need for that Jane Fonda, geriatric bullshit.
You just come out here, play some D. Two quick ones...
It's over. See ya. Wouldn't want to be ya.
You got a new teammate. Kiss your game goodbve.
Hey, mavbe I need to do that shit too.
You loose now? Let's play.
Come here. Let me teach you something.
Hey, man, get your ass out of here.
Come here, I'll tell you where I'm going. Over there, right.
You're a hotshot, huh? Where are you going? I got you.
Show me what you got.
This is my court, you hear me?
Luck. Pure luck.
I believe the score is 9-8, ours.
Take it out.
Ball in.
Okav, chump.
The sun even shines on a dog's ass some days. Anybodv can win the lottery.
K now what I mean?
Give it up.
You want it back now.
Fuck you. Your mother's an astronaut.
She's too drunk to be an astronaut.
You remind me of one of those dudes from The Brady Bunch.
- Doesn't he look like one of them? - He looks like Cindv.
Yeah, that's the one!
Why are you laughing?
Calling me Brady Bunch.
He's too stupid to know he's being insulted.
Get off the court, Sidnev. You lost.
Ease back. Give me a second with Mr. Bradv Bunch.
You mav be able to pull off a couple of passes.
That don't mean you can play this game.
Right. You ain't seen me shoot. Mavbe I can't shoot a lick.
What's it worth to you to find out, huh?
Say, what have we got here? Fifty, sixtv....
.... sixty-two dollars.
I do detect the smell of cash.
h the air.
How good are you, chump?
- "Chump"? "Chump"? - That's your money.
My only problem will be pulling the ball out of your ass....
.... when I take your monev.
- And that is his monev. - Money talks.
Twentv, forty, fortv-one...
You're short.
Man, loan me 20.
What do I look like, Bank of America?
- Yeah, give me a loan. - You always do this.
I won't lose to this white boy.
You better not lose my monev to this white boy.
This is a black thing. Now give me the fucking 20.
- Then we eat at Sizzler? - Surf and turf.
- I'm the bank. - That's his monev.
- Let's go, babv.
Best of five, top of the kev. And since you're the foreigner....
.... as such, you can go first.
No, thank you, Sidney. You go ahead.
No, this is my house. This is Sidnev Deane's house.
Since I'm the host, I extend my hospitality to you.
That's very gracious, but I don't want your hospitality.
I don't want to take advantage of you.
Okav, but you might not get another shot.
Okav, if you insist.
This is outdoor ball. Different than your countrv club shit.
When you shoot, you adjust for the wind.
Out here, the wind can push the ball to the left or right 6 to 8 inches.
But you wouldn't know nothing about that.
You want me to move? I'm sorry.
It's your shot.
This is really not my spot. I'll be lucky to hit two out of five.
But I'll shoot anyway.
Oh, man! Right off the bat.
I am feeling lucky.
Man wants to get paid!
It's prettv. It's so prettv.
We 're going Sizzler We 're going Sizzler.
I never hit two in a row.
But I'm very lucky.
I'm feeling verv luckv.
Ugly shot. Looked like a goddamn brick.
No aesthetic beauty whatsoever. Now mine, on the contrarv......
It hurts being this good!
A thing of beauty is a jov forever.
My man John Keats said that. You know that, right?
You know, I've never hit three in a row. Never in my life.
Color me lucky, man. Sometimes you wake up, the birds are singing...
That's a decent shot. Excellent.
You are the greatest.
- Thank you. - But I'm feeling so luckv.
Four in a row!
This is like the luck of the Irish, only I'm not Irish. So go figure.
Come on, Sidnev. Come on, now.
Don't worry, I got this under control. This sucker's mine.
Michael Jordan was down here once.
I took him to the hole. You believe that?
That's right, I saw it.
Michael said, "You should play summer pro league. "
- I said, no. - Hell no!
- Might mess up my game. - We can't have that, Billy Ho.
Shoot this one and let's go to Sizzler.
I'm gonna just leave it up there.
- Give me some. - I will.
Oh, shit!
It's hard goddamn work being this good.
Shut the fuck up.
- Am I starting to get to you? - No, Sidnev.
You're just making my ears hurt.
See, you guys look at me, you see the backwards hat....
.... the funkv outfit and you say, "This guy's a chump. "
- A fucking geek. - A fucking geek. Exactly.
But you don't realize it ain't easy.
"It is hard goddamn work making something this prettv"....
.... look like a geek. So I must do it for a reason.
I'm convinced, whatever the reason may be.
If I miss this shot, I walk away, still a chump.
But if you miss, you've been beat not once....
.... but twice, bv a slow, white, geeky chump.
Ain't no thing.
- No thing but chicken wing on a string. - From Burger King.
The wind's kicking up a bit. You might want to adjust about....
.... six, eight inches to the left.
Here it is. This is the big one.
Don't worry. I've hustled much better players than you.
Don't put up a brick.
Stop vapping and let the brother shoot.
Yeah, I got it.
The wrist.
- Brick. - Shit!
Give me my money.
- It belongs to him! - A man with integritv.
- Don't push your luck. - It wasn't luck.
You said we'd go to Sizzler...
Man, shut your anorexic, mahutritioned, tapeworm-having....
.... Dick Gregory Diet-drinking ass up! Leave me alone.
Honey, I'm home.
How much did you make?
Well, I missed you too.
I'm sorry, honev.
Sixty-two dollars minus $ 5. 16....
.... for a hummus-tabbouleh garden burger and all that stuff you love.
You know I hate that health food shit.
You'll eat it and you'll love it.
I'll let you get away with that since you got money todav.
Let's see, that makes....
.... $ 58.84, which gives us $806 towards the $8000.
We still owe the Stucci Brothers $ 7194.
Don't pay them. Thev're robbing you.
How many times do we have to go through this?
h life, there are some things that just are the way they are.
Nothing will get rid of the Stuccis except 7000 more dollars.
What's the deal with this?
Come on, I've been studying all dav.
I did fires and earthquakes. any kind of disaster.
And assassinations.
Try me.
Leon Czolgosz.
Who killed President McKinlev?
Unbelievable.
Jeopardy!'s gonna call todav. I can feel it.
Don't count on it, you won't be disappointed.
Check this out. The last words of Lee Harvev Oswald:
"It wasn't me, it was the Cl... "
Get it? "The... " And then...
I got it, I got it. Honev, honev.
How much do you love me?
I love you infinitv.
That's not enough.
- hfinitv's the biggest number. - No, it's not.
Tell me one bigger.
hfinity plus two.
I love you infinitv plus two.
Billy, you're so stupid.
You should say, "I love you infinitv plus infinitv. "
I love you....
.... infinitv plus infinitv.
- There's a bigger number. - I give up.
You haven't kissed me vet.
No, take a shower. You stink. Go away, you stink!
Wait right there. Don't move. Hold that thought.
I'm gonna come back and put my mouth where this money is.
There's somebody at the door!
Somebody's at the door!
All right, stay calm, stav calm.
Hurry up!
I love you, but I won't get shot over your debt.
- my debt? Our debt! - Whoever's debt, I ain't getting shot!
Stav here. If I don't get you in 30 seconds, jump out the window.
I'll meet you at Denny's.
Honey, I love you.
I love you too.
Who is it?
The manager.
- What is it? - Got a message for you.
Brady Bunch.
A thousand ten, a thousand eleven, a thousand twelye......
Did you hear somebodv invite you in?
I just want to talk.
...a thousand thirtv.
How'd you find me?
I have to admit, no one's ever worked me the way you did.
I beat you fairly. You beat me, I don't come and cry about it.
I'm not here to cry. I'm here on business.
You said 30 seconds. I almost took off.
I'm sorry.
Who's this?
- Sidnev Deane. - So?
Your boyfriend took monev from me and I noticed this bottle.
You take that, I'll shoot you.
What's with you? You need to chill with the caffeine.
Excuse me?
You comfortable?
You know, a futon is better for your back.
Where did you play, Billy?
College in Louisiana. Didn't work out.
So now you hustle.
Nobodv knows me here. I can work the courts.
I have a business proposal.
It means more cash than this chump change you make.
What is it?
There's a two-on-two tournament next week.
- You want me to run with you? - Yep.
Meanwhile, we can make some extra change.
If you don't mind hustling. And I know you don't.
What kind of hustle?
You got me bv what, 7000 pounds?
I gotta tell you, it's hard work making you look so bad.
Who the fuck told you to talk? You score, you can talk.
But if you eat shit, you shut up.
You took me to the hole. Why?
Because I let you.
I take you anywhere I want. I'll have you for breakfast.
Want to put some jack on that?
Who rattled your cage?
You talk a lot for a guy who got busted.
I'll pick any player... I'll pick the worst player here....
- ....for $ 500. - Excuse me?
- Ex-ex-excuse me?
I'll let you pick my teammate.
He ain't serious, man. I don't believe this shit.
- You ain't serious. - Anybodv.
Five hundred dollars. And you can pick anybodv out here. anybody!
I don't believe this.
Hey, Raymond, look at the chump, man. Give him the chump.
No. White boys don't count.
You have to give me a brother.
You got him. The goofv-looking guy.
- Me? - Yeah, you.
- Oh, fuck. - Hev, chump.
You want to run?
You mean play basketball?
No, he means ice hockev.
Get your tired butt up here, Gretzkv.
- Where's your monev? - I'll get it.
You setting me up? Here's my $ 500. Where's yours?
I said I'll get it. I gotta go to the car.
Good, you go to your car.
Then get your Sasquatch butt back here. I got a hot hand.
I got your back, Raymond.
What the hell is this?
Oh, man, what is this world coming to?
Look at this shit.
I ain't got nothing to worry about except Cathv Rigbv over here.
Where's his car, man?
Give me your money.
- Ravmond, is that you? - No, this ain't Ravmond.
Take off that goddamn mask and put down that gun.
What are you doing?
I got a couple of chumps on the line at the park.
- Loan me some money, man. - Get the fuck out of here!
Hey, look, man. You need a good gun.
There's some crazv motherfuckers walking around.
A lot crazier than me.
Give me $ 300 for it.
- I'll give you $ 200. - Come on, man. $ 275.
- $ 250. - All right.
But now you're robbing me.
Yo, yo, I got your money. I got $ 250. Let's go.
No, I said $ 500. Can you count?
Hey, $ 250, man. Take it or leave it.
A man like me can make you look bad.
Your mouth's got you in trouble.
If I was you, I'd kill myself.
Lovely, lovely!
- What's your name? - Billy Ho.
Nice to meet you.
Point game! Point game.
That means one more point and we win this $ 500. Point game.
You gonna teach class or play?
I been teaching class on you all dav. Taking you to the clinic.
Class is in session again. Ding-ding. Check.
- Check this. - You're too stupid to catch the ball.
Give me my money.
Hard goddamn work!
- It's okav. You played a good game. - Motherfuckers set us up.
- You dead. - Hev, take it easy.
Hard goddamn work!
You ain't gonna cut me.
You set me up!
Hey, Raymond, I seen you hustle, man.
- I never used a goofy, white fucker! - Who you calling a goofv, white fucker?
- You, you white fucker! - That's cool!
Wait, hold it. This is ridiculous.
Raymond, we are brothers, man.
I swear, I have never seen this white boy before.
Sidney, don't negotiate with the guy. You got a wife and kid.
- How you know my name? - How come he knows your family?
What?! Wait a minute.
You talk about my wife and kid and you don't know me?
Cut this motherfucker.
Cut that motherfucker.
No, fuck this. Both you motherfuckers are crazy.
I'm going to my car and get my other gun. Shoot everybodv's ass.
Shit! Come on!
Come on! Come on! Come on!
Go, go, go!
Oh, man! We took Ravmond Dickens to the hole!
Hey, know what?
Nobodv's done that around here since the King and Duck Johnson.
King and Duck!
The King and the Duck!
What is this?
- Jimi Hendrix. - I know. Why are you playing Jimi?
I like to listen to him.
Listen? That's what the fucking problem is. Y'all listen.
What should I do, eat it?
You're supposed to hear it.
I just said I like to listen to it.
No, no, hearing is different than listening.
White people can't hear Jimi. You listen!
What are you talking about? His drummer was white.
Get the fuck out of here. He was not white.
Yes, he was. Yo, check it out. See?
This is a picture.
- Whole band's white except for Jimi. - This is a fucking picture.
It's airbrushed. Jimi did not have a white rhvthm section.
You cannot hear Jimi.
- All right. Thank you. - Check this out.
Who is this?
The greatest troubadour of all time, is who it is.
Troubadour? Shit sounds like a dog.
That's a Labrador. Don't insult this music.
Take it off.
You're not hearing this.
I don't want to hear this. This is like pollution to my ears.
Explain to this Gladvs K night and the Pimps...
It's Gladvs K night and the Pips!
Just put Jimi back in. I don't like this shit.
- You're supposed to defend me! - Who are you velling at?
Get rid of that gum. I'm tired of it popping.
Tell this bubblehead to make a right here.
You can get shot playing here.
Let me off at the Trump Towers.
The penthouse is in the back.
Vista View. The flyest view in the jungle.
- Home sweet home. - You know it.
Yo, that was a good run todav.
Good run.
With the monev you made, you can get this car washed.
Hey, man, this is one classic automobile.
You know, you got a fine woman there.
Hey, you keep your hands off her.
I said she was fine, not that I wanted to touch her.
You touch her and I'll kick your ass. You hear me?
Lookee, lookee, lookee.
- It's all starting to come clear. - Good.
You're a cool customer on the court.
Real chill on the street. Can't be rattled in your game, no, no.
You don't even fall for all that nigger shit on the court.
But when it comes to your woman, that's a different matter altogether.
Look at you. I ain't even talked trash and you're scared.
I ain't even pushed up on her and you're thinking about it.
- Shut the fuck up. - This is good.
This is really good shit to know. I know your weakness.
- You're like every white boy I know. - You're like every brother I ever saw.
- Kick some shit. - You'd rather look good and lose....
- ....than look bad and win. - You don't know shit about me.
I know plentv about you, Sidney.
How many dinners did this chain cost your family?
Just go home and get some rest. Okav, Bradv Bunch?
I ain't tired.
Bye, Gloria.
- Nice seeing you again. - Same here.
Take care. I like these rings. They're fly.
Take care.
Tomorrow we're going to 103rd Street.
We're gonna hustle in Watts. Tough games out there. Big bucks.
Don't take it personally.
We're teammates. Ebony....
.... and lyory.
Here's your partner.
Right, fuck me. You better get across La Brea before sundown.
The guy's full of shit.
Please explain to me whv this Negro is singing cowboy music.
This is my favorite song.
It reminds me of making love to you. Makes me want to....
.... take you and lock you in a room....
.... and make love to you over and over and over....
.... and over and over.
I didn't say I didn't like it.
Honey, this can't be safe. You know I believe in safe sex.
- I'm gonna take a shower. - Put me down!
Honey, my mouth is dry.
Honey, I'm thirstv.
Here you go, honev.
When I said I was thirstv....
.... it doesn't mean I want you to bring me a glass of water.
It doesn't?
You're missing the point of my saying I'm thirsty.
If I have a problem, you don't have to solye it.
Men always think they can solye a woman's problem.
It makes them feel omnipotent.
Omnipotent?
Did you have a bad dream?
It's how thev control women.
- Bringing them a glass of water? - Yes. I read it in a magazine.
If I'm thirstv, I don't want you to bring me a glass of water.
I want you to svmpathize. I want you to say:
"Gloria, I too know what it feels like to be thirsty.
I, too, have had a dry mouth. "
I want you to connect with me....
.... through understanding the concept of drymouthedness.
This is all in the same magazine?
You're into control.
Shut up.
See?
You make me sick.
Honey, don't give me the rollover, okav?
When I say I'm thirstv, it means if there's some water, I'd love a sip.
When I say I want to make love, it means let's screw.
That's exactly what I thought you would say.
Besides, I don't like the word "screw. "
I prefer "make love" or "fuck. "
"Screwing" is for carpenters.
You're gonna get it. Oh, honey.
- Where are you going? - Anywhere.
Getting the hell away from you, you psycho chiquita nutcase.
Come on, honev. Come back. I want to make love.
Honey, come back. I want to screw!
Forget you, then.
You piece of shit.
That's him.
- It's the Stuccis! - The Stuccis! Oh, shit!
How'd they find us?!
Hold on. Okay, all right, I got the money.
Go, honev, come on! Come on, honev, move.
- I'm always waiting for you. - Shut up!
- Wait for me! - Hurry up!
Why are you so slow? I'm carrying evervthing.
You want me to carry you too?
We'd shoot you, Billy, but first we want the money.
- We've got your number now. - No escape!
Blueberry, cockle cherry Eevie ivey over
Mama's in the kitchen cooking rice Daddy's outside shooting dice
Baby in the cradle fast asleep Here comes mister with the H O T
This is a great house. A great house.
But it's a little steep.
Sidney, we have to talk.
Excuse me.
- I want this house. - I want it too. But it's expensive.
- Thev want first, last, damages. - I'll get a job.
No, no, no. I got lots of jobs.
I got the cable thing, the roof thing, the paint thing.
Construction is slow, but basketball puts food on the table.
Basketball isn't a real job.
It's late. I gotta go. I'm working on this new shot.
I'm sure it's a gorgeous shot.
But I still want this house.
- Okay? - Okay.
Foul, foul!
All ball. All ball, no foul.
- You got my hand. - Your hand is part of the ball.
- You got my wrist. - Part of the hand.
And the knee bone's connected to the dick bone.
- You fouled Robert. - You didn't even see the play.
Yo, you couldn't carry my jockstrap in a suitcase.
This is Watts. I thought you had some ballplayers out here. This is shit.
I'm getting tired of your face.
Guess your mother threw you out real young.
He's talking about your mama.
Nobodv talks about my mother.
Don't ever talk about my mama. Me and any guy here can take you.
How much you want to roll?
Oh, my God. What is this?
Oh, my God! Look at this! It's a thousand dollars!
Oh, wait a minute, there's more. What is this?
You rob a 7-11?
Eleven, twelye, thirteen. Wait, is there more?
Fourteen, fifteen.
- Is that your rent monev? - Sixteen.
It's coming from evervwhere. Seventeen hundred dollars, baby.
And we get to pick your partner?
You can pick any of these stiffs out here. anybody. $ 1700.
And don't talk about my mother.
- How about my man here? - No, no. I want that guy.
- The white boy? - Yeah, that scraggly mother.
No, no, no. Fuck that. Wait a minute.
I got $800. I just cashed my check for the rent.
- I got 50 bucks. - $ 1700. Come up with it or walk.
play us for what we got.
play a tune on that bald head of yours.
Hey, man, hold on.
- Hev. - How you doing?
- What's up? - You look so good today.
- What's up? - You're up. I need a diamond.
I told you he was no good. When will you listen to me?
He was a dog from day one.
Trust me. We'll go to Zales after this.
- Don't talk about my boyfriend. - He's a dog.
This ain't no diamond. It's a zircon.
Okav. Let's say this piece of shit is worth 300 bills.
I'll put my $ 1700 against your $ 1150.
That's a bet!
Hey, give me my monev!
I'll hold it. I ain't going nowhere.
He ain't going nowhere. The bakerv ain't open yet.
We play to 10.
- That's a bet. - Let's do it.
We got a game to play.
Hey, Martha Graham!
Martha Graham!
Can you play?
- Good pick, man. - You know it.
That's what I'm talking about. Go back to Sea World.
- You let him back-door you. - I thought he was gonna pass.
Of course he wasn't...
D up, man.
You don't know what D is.
Go, you fucking Globetrotter.
Aren't you gonna shoot?
- He was on my ass. - You were wide open.
I got $ 1700 on the line. I won't force a shot.
Why are you kicking it to me?
- All right, I'm sorry. - You okay?
- Let's go. - You got it.
- Get me the ball. - It's 9-8, us. Point game.
- One more bucket, we get $ 1700. - A bucket you'll never see.
- You tried to hustle us, but... - You gonna chitchat or play?
Get the fuck out.
You talking all this shit. Why don't you take me to the hole?
- I practice off people like you. - Just learn to play.
Ball, ball.
I'll take your monev, then I'll take your girl.
You're holding me.
All you do is hold people. You know, you're disgusting.
Both of you, go back to Sea World!
Seventeen hundred!
Goddamn!
Give me my money.
It was so nice just to hold it for a while.
I am dead. I am dead.
I'm sorry, man. I thought I had it.
I'm dead. I'm dog meat. She is gonna dump me now.
I feel terrible. I had a lousv game.
We're better than them. I've beat guys 10 times better than that!
I know. It's my fault.
It's nobody's fault. Sometimes the ball just doesn't go down.
- You want a ride? - I'll take the rail.
You sure?
I gotta think of how to tell Gloria I lost everything....
.... and figure out where I'm gonna sleep tonight.
Hey, Billy, I'm sorry.
I mean it. I'm sorry.
"Thirty-nine" is the answer. What's the question?
"How many books in the Old Testament?"
I am so fucking good.
- Did Jeopardy! call yet? - Not vet.
But I'll need a nice dress. When they call, you gotta be ready.
Want to hear the books of the Old Testament backwards?
- Malachi, Zechariah, Haggai and... - Honey, please.
And I did "Famous Women" and "Foods That Start With Q."
You can't imagine how many foods actually start with the letter Q.
Will you please shut up?
What's wrong with you?
I lost the money.
Oh, Jesus, Billy.
Not again.
- How much? - A lot of it.
Most of it.
Roughly all of it.
You lost all our fucking money?
Shit, Billy! Jesus!
Seventeen hundred dollars. Billy!
We were on our way to 8000.
Were your opponents that good?
No, I beat better guys in Brooklyn and Jersey.
- You missed your jump shots? - No, I hit mine.
What about Sidney?
He had an off day. He wasn't shooting that much.
His guy scored on him and he didn't....
.... D up. He usually plays good D.
You got hustled.
I did not get hustled.
You got set up. You got hustled by Sidney.
- No. He's a good guy. - You said he was full of shit!
He's full of shit and he's a good guy.
You're full of shit, okav? Fuck that shit.
I'm going back to that house and get my fucking money back.
No, no, no. Honey, a man cannot ask for his money back.
He lives in the jungle, right?
No, honey, we can't.
They don't let white people in the Crenshaw District.
And maybe not Puerto Ricans. It's reverse discrimination.
Let's see.
We drove Sidney to Crenshaw and...
You don't understand how things work. Men understand how they work.
Wasn't there a big apartment house?
Let me explain. Men's rules are verv simple.
If you win, you win. You lose, you lose.
But under no circumstances do you ask for the money back.
- Whv not? - It's not part of the rules.
Oh, yeah?
I got a different set of rules of my own. Do you want to hear them?
Here they go: Sometimes when you win, you really lose.
And sometimes when you lose, you really win.
Sometimes when you win or lose, you actually tie.
And sometimes when you tie, you actually win or lose.
I hate when you talk like that. It makes me crazy.
Winning and losing is just a big organic globule....
.... from which one takes what one needs.
I'm fucked.
Forget it. I'm not getting off this bus, honey.
I'm not getting off the bus. No. Stop!
Can we discuss it? Can we have a discussion?
Does Sidney Deane live here?
He does.
He's my husband.
Well, your husband stole $ 1700 from my boyfriend.
Really?
Just a minute.
Some people are here who say you stole their money. Come on in.
Oh, shit.
No, baby, I didn't steal his money. I hustled his money.
- Cindy Brady! - That girl is fine.
Cindy, what happened?
What the fuck do you want?
- Who invited you in, anyway? - I did.
- I want to talk to...... - Gloria.
Baby, that man hustled me long before I hustled him.
That's true. I saw the whole thing.
Damn skippv. So, what goes around, comes around.
Then you won't mind if Gloria and I talk. You want a drink?
- Yeah. - Come on.
This boy's got a lot of guts.
Billy Ho! It's good to see you, Billy! You look swell.
You fucked me, man.
Get the fuck out from in front of the ty.
You fucked me! We had a partnership.
No, we were never partners. It goes like this:
You either smoke, or you get smoked.
And you got smoked.
- Clean as my gun. - Yes, it was.
- Smooth. - A thing of beauty is a joy forever.
- Did I get too deep on you? - Would you make this guy shut up?
I'm sorry. I'll go back to the way you like me. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I want my money back.
You're not getting it back.
- You're giving me my money back. - I'm giving you nothing.
They were teammates. Teammates can't hustle each other.
- Really? Why not? - It's not artistic.
Let me tell you. I don't care about art.
All I care about is getting out of the vista view....
.... because there ain't no vista, no views and ain't no vista of no views.
You want cream or sugar or what?
Cream.
I trusted you. There are rules to hustling. There are ethics.
That you wouldn't know a thing about.
I never shook anyone's hand and stabbed him in the back!
The hdians shook hands with the Pilgrims and look who got fucked.
Who you calling a Pilgrim?
- You, Columbus. - Gobble this, turkey.
I got a gun in my hand! What's wrong with you?
Shoot this motherfucker.
Hold it. Byron for 20.
- byron for 20! - Shoot the motherfucker.
- He's a traitor. - Come on.
Pop it, James! Yeah!
Sweet!
That's a black man. That's a black man.
Throughout our glorious life together....
.... I bought a car from the Stucci brothers for three grand.
Turned out to be piece of shit, and I didn't pav.
So they told Billy, unless he got them their money, they'd cut me up.
So he had to figure out a way to get the money.
The Stuccis decided to fix a basketball game.
Billy agreed. He got mad and didn't throw it....
.... and the Stuccis lost a bundle.
Wake up, girlfriend. It's your boyfriend.
He's got problems.
He's just bad with money.
Look, the Stuccis are still after us.
Hey, hey. It's a sad story. It really is, and I'm sorry.
But I'm not giving you the money.
I might, however, be willing to discuss other arrangements.
There's Dyan: - There's Kadeem.
That ain't Kadeem.
There's Eddie. I know Eddie.
- You know shit. - Listen up.
We have a solution.
- Tell them to move. - You tell them. You think I'm crazy?
Here's the scenario:
Rhonda's returning some money. We know how to get the rest.
So, what you guys need to do is kiss, make up....
.... or whatever it is you do and play in that tournament, together.
I ain't playing with that son of a bitch.
- No, baby... - I don't hustle with the dishonest.
I can tell you that now. He ain't that good to begin with.
That's not fair, Rhonda.
Sugar, sugar. Please don't make me do something like that.
Welcome to the first annual Two on Two for Brotherhood.:.
.Basketball Tournament:
Also known as the "TTBBT."
Sponsored by a group of corporations in the spirit of promoting....
.... brotherhood among us all. And now....
.... let the games begin!
Stav with him. Stay with him. Look at that.
Why can't you check somebody?
You fat mustard and butter sandwich.
I'll knock you out.
We ain't got to worry about them. They spend too much time arguing.
About their mothers, and both of them are ugly.
Remember Raymond? Must have some type of work-release program.
Motherfucker was just on parole, man.
These two we definitely have to worry about.
That's Flight and Willie.
They can play. They'll be in the finals against us.
Shit, that's just too easy!
No, that shit is too easy.
Too easy.
That shit is too easy!
- Fuck it. I don't even want to play. - I don't want to play no more.
Hey, chump!
Yeah, you, potatohead. You know who I'm talking about.
Is that your best? If it is, grab the free T-shirt and go.
What're you doing?
Who'd you bring? Mighty Mouse?
You're too pretty to play basketball.
You got that big Z in your 'fro, man.
- Stop already. - Are you the black Zorro?
Man, that's enough.
Is your hair done at the Braille hstitute?
What's Opie Tavlor talking about?
Opie Tavlor? Opie?!
I got your Opie, you big, bad, goopie-eved son of a bitch!
You and your Cream of Wheat go back to Mayberry!
Tell Aunt Bee she better have my bean pies or I'll kick her ass!
- Lurch and Morticia! - What are you doing?
- I'm doing two things. - What?
Making them mad. guys don't play good mad.
You're embarrassing me.
That's the other thing.
You're not embarrassing me, you're pissing me off.
I assume, unlike them, you play better when you're mad.
Am I right?
I'm not listening.
Yeah, but you are hearing me. You're hearing me.
What, you throwing bricks?
- What did I just say? - Throwing bricks?
What is this, a mason's convention?
Clank! I'll need a welding torch to play in this league.
I got an idea. Let's stop now and gather up all these bricks....
.... and build a homeless shelter so your mother has a place to live.
- Fuck you, great white! - Fuck that fucker.
And your sister. I want your mother and sister out of my house.
Black ball.
What the fuck do you mean, black ball? Are you racist?
Your jersey, not your skin.
I knew you were a racist.
Here, sir. How do you feel? You don't look well.
Didn't I school you before?
Give us something, man. Bring it.
Don't let him pull that move on you.
Don't let him pull that move.
Oh, no, that's the move!
I tried to warn you. You call that defense?
Are you gonna give us a game? Some competition?
If not, I got better things to do on a Saturdav.
This is Chickie Babe from the Forum watching this ugly honkv yo-yo....
.... up and down the court. Bad boy!
But he ain't got shit. He ain't got shit. He ain't got shit.
You suckers!
What a great no-look pass. Am I right?
The mustard is off the hot dog, you big mule.
My man ain't getting nothing.
I looked up "basketball player" in the dictionary. It said, "Not you. "
- You won't beat us. - Be quiet.
Bring it on, bad boy! Excuse me, I'm talking.
I know you are. Shut up.
Pretty boy, I'll be D-ing up on you if you make it to the finals.
I got something for you. I got some bean pie!
You won't see $ 5000. You mav see 5000 beans!
Do you ever shut the fuck up?
Don't worry. I'm in a zone, man.
I'm in a fucking zone. Would you relax?
It's one thing to embarrass me.
It's another to piss off guys we'll be playing.
That's just plain stupid.
Listen to him, buckethead.
You gone past stupid, into a new category.
Called suicide, chump.
Call me chump all dav, bad boy. I'm in a fucking zone!
- Fuck you! - Come here! What is up with you?
Why are you worried? I'm in a zone!
They're pissed off. I'm in a zone!
This is not about black and white.
It's about money, greed. You got that?
I need this five grand, and I won't let you blow this for me. No way.
You pissed off?
No. I ain't pissed off.
- You pissed at me? - No, I'm not.
That's what you want, to get me into this fucking zone.
You ain't good enough.
Is that some brother thing? You racist.
Some things you can't do.
- I can hear Jimi! I can hear Jimi! - No, no!
- No, you can't. - Fuck you.
- Good. Fuck me. - Yeah, fuck you.
- Say it with feeling. - Fuck you!
Yes, yes! Fuck me! Fuck me!
- Check, asshole. - Check, gav boy.
- Let's go, Lurch. - Check it, captain.
Fuck you, faggot, asshole!
Stop them before we lose our sponsors!
Start a fight, neither of us will make any money.
Stop that bullshit passing. Five grand's on the line.
I hope this doesn't get worse.
Why didn't you dunk it?
- Give me the ball. - Don't you guys ever shut up?
- Brick! - Point.
Man, you've got the lane, take the shot.
Give me a better pass.
A better pass? I gave you a great pass.
- About time. - I'm tired of piggybacking you.
You piggybacking me? You piggybacking me?
Oh, yeah. You ever been to flight school?
I'm going to the seventh floor and dropping you off.
- Don't reach. - Stay on him.
Do it, Flight! Do it!
Thank you.
- Big fucking deal. - Can you do it?
Cut, man. Lav that D.
Damn, Willie! Come on, man.
$ 5000 on the line, and you let this motherfucker take the ball.
Fuck you. Opie's pissing on you.
- Pissing on me? - Yeah.
Why don't you guard somebody, sorry motherfucker?
Five thousand. Stop showing off.
I've been saying your ass the whole game.
Shut the fuck up, man. Get the ball out here.
Point game, Mr. Deane and Mr. hoyle.
Cut, cut. Will you cut?
- I got him, Flight! - That was a foul!
Let's pav them and get out.
- Damn! - Fuck you, you're supposed to help.
- Whv'd you pass? - I thought you'd dunk.
- No, just take the shot. - What?
You're luckv we didn't cough up 5000.
You were supposed to dunk. He was dunking on you. Whv didn't you dunk?
Why should...? Shut the fuck up.
Oh! She's gonna love my ass!
Damn!
You know something?
I can jam, man.
Okav.
You keep saying I can't stuff it.
I only say it to get under your skin.
Just because I don't dunk in a game, don't mean I can't.
Okav, fine.
You don't think I can stuff it.
Billy.....
I don't care if you can or can't.
Stop the fucking car.
Stop the car.
Pull it over.
Turn that shit down. What is it?
It's good music, that's what. Don't call it shit.
I'll bet my half of the $ 5000 against yours that I can stuff it.
Wait. Hold up. Hold up.
Billy, you just won it. Let me give you some adyice.
Take some money and buy your girl a dress....
.... in case she gets on that show.
You're either stupid or dangerous.
You can't be stupid. Stupid people can't push my buttons and piss me off.
So you must be dangerous.
- To who? - To yourself. I'm taking you home.
The reason I don't jam in a game is because it's like showboating....
.... which you know about.
- I look good. - Like the unnecessary behind-the-back.
Motherfucker, you wouldn't know what a behind-the-back pass was.
It goes back to what I was saying. Quoting myself:
A white man wants to win, then look good.
A black man wants to look good, then win. "
That is the most ridiculous piece of philosophical bullshit I ever heard.
Look, right over here. There's a goal right there.
Get your money and the ball.
Quoting myself?
- I'm tired of your shit. - I'm tired of yours.
What crap. Put your money where your mouth is.
- I just need three tries. - You sure?
All right, let's go.
One of us is not going home tonight.
Man, you were almost there. Almost there.
I was with you on that one. Damn.
Come on, baby. You can do this.
This is a sucker.
Is this shit regulation? This shit ain't regulation.
Get the fuck out of here. Regulation?
Move out of the way. I'll check it for you.
Move out the way.
Yeah, yeah. Just about right.
Let's go. You can do it.
Come on, I believe in you.
I know what the problem is.
Get out of the fucking way. Get out.
- Just trving to help. - It's a bet.
All right, it's your money.
Go.
Fuck me!
When I looked at it before....
.... I thought it was a little high, but now I think it was just....
.... an optical illusion and shit. Right?
I know what it is.
You can't go out like that.
- Get off me! - I'll pump you.
- Get off! - You need help.
- It's a bet. Stop fucking around. - I know it.
- Billy...... - Shut up, man.
Billy.
Shut up!
- Billy, listen to me. - What?
White men can't jump.
Shit!
Good luck with Gloria.
Way to go, Billy.
You called hours ago.
Sidney's already home!
The fucking pizza's all cold and the wine is all warm.
A present for you.
Oh, honey.
Oh, God.
What a shrew I am.
I'm sorry, honey.
Tell me about the tournament.
There were some decent players.
Me and Sidney played okav.
Okav? You guys must have been great.
This is beautiful.
Gloria.....
- Gloria. - Yes?
This is beautiful.
Thank you.
Honey.....
I lost the money.
What?
I lost the money.
You want to run that by me one more time?
It happened again.
It?
It?!
No! No, Billy. What the fuck is "it, it, it"? There is no "it. "
It is you! You happened again! Damn it, Billy!
That money was mine to keep the both of us going till Jeopardy! called.
Jeopardy! ain't gonna call. When will you wake up?
Jeopardy! is gonna call.
It is my destiny that I triumph magnificently on that show!
I'll never do it wearing that stupid hoochie-mama dress you bought me....
.... which was obyiously to cover up the fact that you fucked up again!
I'm gonna win. I'm gonna get on that motherfucking show....
.... and win, because I am overflowing....
.... with more useless information than any human being on this planet!
Who's James K. Polk?
How many moons are around Pluto?
What's a quince?
It's a food, Billy, that starts with the letter Q....
.... and I got seven more!
I can't believe you lost the goddamn money!
Where are you going?
Honey!
Honey! Honey!
Honey!
Where are you going? You can't leave.
What's a solar eclipse? Who's Marcel Cerdan?
Where was the hamburger invented at?
What are you doing? You can't hitchhike. This is L.A.
- Go ahead! - Billy!
Go ahead, she's just crazy. Go ahead.
- Go on! - Billy!
These people are perverts.
The carpet's on fire.
Oh, shit.
Don't move, honey.
Put your arm down.
Come on in here, honey.
Oh, shit! Shit!
Honey, don't get in that truck!
You can run, but you can't hide.
The great Joe Louis said that. Do you believe that?
Time to take a little ride, Billy.
I'm telling you, I lost the money. I swear to God, there's no money.
There's no money!
Goddamn it, Billy.
The shave was working. It was beautiful.
Nobody would've known.
So why didn't you go through with the fix?
The guy said I couldn't score. Called me a honky fucker.
- You are a honky fucker! - But I can score, man.
We were the team. You betrayed us.
Life is just a bunch of bad trades.
I swear to God, one week.
Where's your little girlfriend?
Where is she? I liked her.
- She left me. - Oh, Billy.
Show him the fucking pictures.
I'm gonna show you something.
This is what happens to people who don't come through. You see these?
Look at the Polaroids! Look at this guy!
I swear to God, one week.
One week, that's all you get.
Maravich, my ass. I got your pistol right here.
You got one week, understand?
I just came to get an Oki dog, baby.
Five dollar an hour!
- You're late. - I'm sorry. I'll be right there.
I've been waiting for you.
I'm verv sorry.
My wife and I decided on the Spanish tile with the mansard roof.
- How unusual. - Thank you.
But I don't want to get a city building permit or anything.
No problem. I can go through the city or around it.
I can eliminate the middleman or I can be him.
I'm offering the full service: the roof, the paint, the plaster.
Well, my wife and I have decided on number 88.
Thank you verv much. Just write the check to Sidney Deane.
That's D-E-A-N-E.
Sidney!
$ 300 will get me started.
Sidney!
Sidney! hey, man. How you doing, buddy?
I've got to talk to you.
This is my office. I'm doing business.
- Three hundred. - But it's really important.
Thank you. My regards to your lovely wife. We'll start on Tuesday.
- I gotta talk to you. - God bless you!
Goddamn it! What?
I'm desperate, man.
You know, a man should never act desperate. It's impractical.
And frankly, I find it rather ugly.
- I'd rather look ugly and win... - Shut the fuck up. Shut up.
Gloria left me.
I'm sorry, man.
I don't know what to do or how, but I gotta get her back.
Oh, brother.
I got this grave human weakness.
A tinv little spot in my soul that actually likes you.
It's horrible to admit, but everybody's got a cross to bear.
You're my damn cross.
What's that mean?
- It means that I'm gonna help you. - Yes! Yes!
Don't kiss me, man. I got no guarantees.
What are you gonna do?
I got an idea.
But you're gonna owe me.
That's what I'm talking about. You're in my house, man. What's up with you?
Oh, what you want now? What you want now, Pico?
I don't need no pick for this chump. You ready?
You call that D? Where you going?
You call that D? Where you going? Who are you?
That's what I'm talking about. This is my house, my house!
- Where are you going, man? - I got a job, baby.
Robert, smooth. Looking good. Almost as good as me.
Yo, Billy.
Why don't you take that prize money and buy new clothes?
Let me ask you something.
They still film game shows at the studio you work for?
All the game shows are done on my lot.
Genius! She's been trving to get on that lot for weeks.
Robert, can you get her on?
Nobody gets on my lot without a pass. Nobody.
I take that shit seriously.
Robert, can you do it for me? As a favor?
Ballbreaker break your balls?
She broke my heart.
Hearts, balls.... details.
Give me one reason why I should help.
I'll owe you.
He'll owe you.
Okav.
Tell you what:
I'll give you one shot from there.
You make it, I'll let your girlfriend on the lot. Miss it, I get your car.
No problem.
Billy boy.
This is Ghana. You, my friend, are shooting for the Sudan.
- And a hook shot. - And a hook shot.
Don't look at me.
Look, it's their court, their rules.
You want me to punt it?
Can I use my right arm?
This is Jeopardy!
Entering the studio are our contestants:
An English teacher from Spokane, Washington, Dr: Leonard Allen.
A former disco queen, originally from Brooklyn, New York, Gloria Clemente.
And our returning champion:.:
.a rocket scientist from Pasadena, California, Richard Andrews.
And now, here is the host of Jeopardy!, Alex Trebek.
Thank you, Johnnv Gilbert. Welcome once again to our program.
h our last three shows....
.... our champion, Richard Andrews, performed brilliantly....
.... averaging over $ 12,000 for each win.
That means that if our newcomers Leonard and Gloria hope to win....
.... they have a job ahead of them.
So, contestants, good luck to you.
Let's play the first round.
h this round, there will be one Daily Double in one of these categories:
Medicine, "Superstition"....
.... "Natural Disasters, " Books of the Bible....
.... "Sports, " and finally....
.... "Foods That Start With the Letter Q."
She knows seven foods that start with Q.
- Richard will begin. - Sports for 100.
First clue: "The all-time leading rebounder in pro basketball history. "
Wilt Chamberlain.
- Who is Babe Ruth? - No, I'm sorry. That is wrong.
- Babe Ruth? - She's not verv good at sports.
Correct. Pick again.
I'll change subjects to Superstitions for 100.
Make a wish and break this, the V-shaped clavicle of a fowl. "
- What is a wishbone? - Right. Now it's your turn to select.
National Disasters for 100.
This volcano's eruption buried the city of Pompeii in 79 A.D."
- Gloria. - What is Mount 'suvius?
I'd better get a ruling on that one.
Our judges say that's close enough. Go again.
Let's go with Foods That Start With the Letter Q, please.
A game bird related to a partridge.
- Gloria. - What is a quail?
Oh, man! She's into her shit now!
Answer: "A custard pie often made with cheese and bacon. "
- What is a quiche? - Yes.
Okav, Foods With Q for 300, please.
A large, edible clam of the Atlantic Coast. "
- What is a quahog? - Right.
Okav, Foods with Q for 400.
The answer there is the Daily Double!
Gloria, you are leading with $ 2100. You're performing beautifully.
How much of that do you want to risk on your knowledge of this subject?
All of it.
According to legend, it's the Forbidden Fruit of the Garden of Eden. "
- What is a quince? - Yes.
How'd she know that? How'd she know what a quince was?
To begin Double Jeopardy, Leonard, select first.
You could turn things around.
Popes for 200, please.
He was Pope when America's first Catholic president was inaugurated. "
- Who was John X X III? - Yes.
Popes for 400, Alex.
His reign was the shortest on record in... "
- Gloria again. - Who was John Paul I?
Ruling Class for 800.
- " 18th-centurv czar who... " - Who was Peter the Great?
Who was the Emperor Constantine?
- Who was King John? - Yes, correct.
She's in the zone!
- Who was victoriano Huerta? - You are right.
- What is a toadstool? - Yes.
- What is chlorophvll? - Yes!
- What are spores? - Right.
- What is Australia? - Right.
- What is the Outer Hebrides? - Right.
Yes! Yeah!
Gloria!
Look, Billy, now listen to me.
Even if Gloria takes you back, which would be a miracle....
.... don't blow it. All right?
Listen to her carefully. Women know shit.
Even if you don't know what the hell she's talking about, just listen.
All right.
I'm sorry. She doesn't want to see you.
Hey! I said, she doesn't want to see you!
Jesus!
It's locked.
- Bitch. - It's okav.
Look, there's another door. You're on your own.
And remember, you owe me big.
- All right, man. - All right?
Honey.
Don't say anything. Just listen for a second.
I will never bring you water
When you 're thirsting in our bed
You know I understand dry mouthedness
And I'll sympathize instead
And if you take me back again
I won't be such a slob
Let's screw.
Tell me the truth.
You didn't think Jeopardy! would call, did you?
I must confess I didn't.
That's why you gotta trust me more.
You're right, as usual.
I know.
- I've been thinking about the future. - Me too.
The future is like a whole new concept.
I mean, it's like, it's like.....
I admit the summer pro league hasn't been knocking down my door.
There comes a time in a man's life when he must get on with his life.
I want you to take two thousand of my winnings.
Okav?
I think that's a bad idea.
No, it's a good idea.
I want you to buv some new clothes.
Not for me. I like you the way you are, but....
.... when you go on job interviews, you gotta look good.
Job interviews?
Yeah.
I want you to aim high.
Well, I.....
I want to aim high, but I'm just neryous about taking your money again.
I'm afraid I might do something stupid.
Take it.
I trust you.
They took everything. I feel raped! They took everything!
They wiped us out! They took everything.
They took our ty, our stereo! They took my baby's crib!
I want to know what kind of human being would steal a baby's crib?
Where have you been? They took everything.
- Who? - Burglars. Who do you think?
I feel raped. Your ty, stereo, evervthing's gone.
And they trashed the place!
Oh, look at this here!
I'll be goddamned!
Baby, we'll get our stuff back.
You promised we'd leave this hellhole. And they took our $ 5000.
Wiped us out. And I know somebody saw what happened here.
You can't take that kind of stuff and not see something.
You didn't have to trash the place.
Fuck me!
I'm sorry. Okav?
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I lost it.
You don't have to apologize to me.
I want a job.
Okav.
All right, you get a job.
And I'll figure out how to get us out of this goddamn building.
All right?
If I can win $ 12,000 each week, right?
Times five, plus 20 for the annual title.
That'll gives us....
.... eighty grand.
We're rolling now.
I figure I can take some acting classes....
.... get on a soap, do a little television.
- Be on the big screen in two vears. - You're made for the big screen.
- Billy! - Oh, it's Sidney.
Hey, Billy!
I've been looking for you.
I gotta talk to you. Alone.
What is this, a macho dick thing?
- Come on, now. - Can I watch?
Don't worry about me, babe!
Billy, you got some money?
- I got a little. Why? - King Farouk and Duck Johnson are back.
They're working the courts downtown, cleaning up.
The King and Duck? We can take them!
We can take them, but it costs $ 2500 to get in.
I got two grand, man! I just got two grand!
Good. All right, let's do this.
Hold on. You know what? I just got back together with Gloria.
She mav not like this.
This money could save my marriage.
I mean, with this score, I could move in a week.
I don't think she's gonna go for it.
Just make her! Man, fuck that, you owe me.
Listen, I know I owe you, man, but I...
All right, enough man-talk here. What's up?
- Honey, you are so beautiful. - Thank you.
Sometimes I don't realize how lucky I am.
You know something, honey? There's a big game downtown.
- For money? - No, no, no! Well.....
Yeah, I mean, you know, a little bit.
Are you serious?
You're thinking of playing with my money?
Your money? Honey, you gave it to me.
To get a job!
- I promised Sidney, honey. - You promised me!
I promised you and I promised him! I owe you and I owe him!
I'll give you the winnings. I don't care about the money.
- I don't need money! I don't want it! - What do you want?
I want you, you son of a bitch!
We can take these guys. They're over-the-hill.
Look, Billy, you gamble my money and we're through.
Honey, I promise you, this is the last time.
The last time? What, do you two think I'm a fucking moron?
What are you doing? You take me for an idiot?
All right. All right. I have a solution, okav?
I will guarantee victory. I've never offered that before.
I will guarantee victory.
I... We can guarantee victory, huh?
Yeah.
I love you, Billy.
Goodbye.
Honey!
All right, honey.
All right, listen, if you don't want to watch....
.... then we'll just meet up at the hotel later. We'll party!
We'll celebrate.
We're on a roll, honey!
We're on a roll!
Show them that fly shooting, Sidney!
Come on, Billy baby. You got it.
You can dunk, baby!
Come on, Duck!
Watch, watch! Back door, back door!
play some defense, Billy!
Damn!
Fuck!
Get your hands up, okay?
Come on, man!
14-13. Point game. Point game!
Time to put the ball up. Let's go!
Come on with it, man!
Hit him hard, man.
Let him know what's happening.
Hey, you want to dance or play ball? Watch it down low.
I got him. Watch out!
Gloria! Gloria?
Honey!
She's gone.
Oh, man!
Oh, man! Now that's not right.
That's not right.
Finally, I didn't lose the money. I doubled the money.
But I still got it wrong. How can that be?
She said some crazy shit once.
She said, "Sometimes when you win, you actually lose or tie. "
But when you tie, you actually win. Or some shit, you know.
You gotta extract something from an organic globule. "
Brother, I only have four words for you.
Listen to the woman.
What the hell does that mean?
I tried to listen to the woman! You talked me out of it!
I didn't have to talk for long. I just gave you an option.
- You shouldn't have listened to me. - Then why should I listen to you now?
- I'm giving you adyice. - So who do I listen to?
You're a grown man. Figure it out yourself.
Oh, shit.
The game is over, William.
Still hit the old jumper, huh?
Where's the cash?
Okav, Frankie. That's enough.
- That's good for you guys? - We're set.
We can finally show our face again at Tipitina's.
The Stucci brothers are back!
No hard feelings, Billy?
It's all about respect. You understand? Good.
I respect you guys.
See you later.
Hey, man, you all right?
Gloria's not coming back.
Yeah, I know.
She's left me before, lots of times.
She'll get to the door, I'll talk fast and she'll come back.
Or she'll get out the door, be gone a couple of davs....
.... I'll play her a song or something and, you know, she'll come back.
But this is it.
She's gone.
Mavbe you two are better off without each other.
Sidney, if I listen to the woman, do I have to agree with her too?
No, you listen. That's a good enough start.
I don't want to stress you out.
I gotta get a job.
Can you get me a job?
You got any references?
You.
You're gonna be all right, Billy Ho. You're starting to hear the music.
- I can hear Jimi now? - I didn't say that.
You're hearing the music. You can't hear Jimi.
- Jimi ain't music? - But you can't hear him.
See, you can hear... Forget it.
- Don't diss Jimi. - You just learned that word.
How did you know you put that pass up high enough, I could slam it?
Because even the sun shines on a dog's ass some davs.
On a dog's ass?
- Want to play some one-on-one? - Now don't start with no shit.
Hitting one dunk don't mean you can play.
Putting a cat in the oven don't make it a biscuit!
Your mama is so stupid, it takes her 60...
- No, it takes her two hours... - Stop.
Hold on, I got some funny stuff here.
- Yo, brothers! - How you doing, guy?
You dropped a 20 on them?
Of course I dropped a 20. If I don't take care of my brothers, who will?
I'll bet you 20 on this game between us.
- No, I'm not playing you. - You're not?
No, you misunderstand. You play ugly and still lose.
- You calling me ugly? - Your mama did! I got a right to!