0
00:00:23,771 --> 00:00:26,691
Um, OK,
"I wasn't born yesterday, dearie."

1
00:00:26,774 --> 00:00:29,027
I wasn't born yesterday, dearie.

2
00:00:29,068 --> 00:00:30,987
"I know all about fur
and all about blood."

3
00:00:31,112 --> 00:00:33,823
I know all about fur
and all about blood.

4
00:00:33,865 --> 00:00:37,410
- "Where did it happen?"
- Where did it happen? In the backseat?

5
00:00:37,493 --> 00:00:40,455
- Where did what happen?
- The real party.

6
00:00:40,538 --> 00:00:44,625
We'll just do that over again.
"The real party. Did he pin you down?"

7
00:00:44,709 --> 00:00:48,463
- The real party. Did he pin you down?
- "Or did you just lie back..."

8
00:00:48,588 --> 00:00:52,342
Or did you just lie back
and let nature take its course?

9
00:00:52,425 --> 00:00:55,136
"Or did you just lie back
and let nature take its course?"

10
00:00:55,219 --> 00:00:58,806
Or did you just lie back
and let nature take its course?

11
00:00:58,890 --> 00:01:02,560
"Was it a boy on the track team
or the man with the tire iron?"

12
00:01:02,644 --> 00:01:07,190
Was it the boy on the track team
or the man with the tire iron?

13
00:01:07,231 --> 00:01:10,777
OK, a little angrier.
"Was it a boy on the track team?"

14
00:01:10,860 --> 00:01:14,947
Was it the boy on the track team
or the man with the tire iron?

15
00:01:15,031 --> 00:01:17,617
- Excellent. Cut.
- Cut it.

16
00:01:23,581 --> 00:01:28,378
* Winnipeg, Winnipeg

17
00:01:28,419 --> 00:01:32,423
* Wonderful Winnipeg

18
00:01:32,507 --> 00:01:36,803
* ail my town. hail my home

19
00:01:36,886 --> 00:01:41,557
* The world that moves
round and round

20
00:01:41,599 --> 00:01:46,479
* Winnipeg, Winnipeg

21
00:01:46,562 --> 00:01:49,941
* Wonderful Winnipeg

22
00:01:50,024 --> 00:01:52,735
* Where I belong

23
00:01:52,777 --> 00:01:58,700
* And joys redound
in one long, happy song

24
00:01:59,117 --> 00:02:04,122
* Here are friends
and kindly faces

25
00:02:04,205 --> 00:02:08,334
* Folks I'm glad to know

26
00:02:08,418 --> 00:02:12,797
*Memories, familia laces

27
00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:17,552
* To cherish with a glow

28
00:02:17,635 --> 00:02:22,056
* Winnipeg, Winnipeg

29
00:02:22,140 --> 00:02:26,602
* Wonderful Winnipeg

30
00:02:26,686 --> 00:02:30,481
* It's no Eden
that you would see

31
00:02:30,565 --> 00:02:35,611
* Yet it's home sweet home to me

32
00:02:58,259 --> 00:03:00,803
All aboard!

33
00:03:38,466 --> 00:03:40,510
Winnipeg.

34
00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:45,682
Winnipeg. Winnipeg.

35
00:03:45,723 --> 00:03:50,186
Snowy, sleepwalking Winnipeg.

36
00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:02,323
My home for my entire life.

37
00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:05,368
My entire life.

38
00:04:07,954 --> 00:04:09,247
I must leave it.

39
00:04:10,164 --> 00:04:11,499
I must leave it.

40
00:04:12,417 --> 00:04:16,295
I must leave it now.

41
00:04:17,755 --> 00:04:20,883
But how to escape one's city?

42
00:04:20,925 --> 00:04:25,555
How to wake oneself enough
for the frightening task...

43
00:04:25,596 --> 00:04:28,558
of how to find one's way out?

44
00:04:31,436 --> 00:04:34,981
The greatest urban train yard
in the world.

45
00:04:35,064 --> 00:04:37,984
Arteries. Iron veins.

46
00:04:38,067 --> 00:04:40,361
Ways out.

47
00:04:40,445 --> 00:04:42,405
The dream train.

48
00:04:42,447 --> 00:04:45,074
Chugging, dreaming.

49
00:04:47,118 --> 00:04:52,040
Sleep-chugging,
out of the lap of the city.

50
00:04:53,166 --> 00:04:56,419
Out of the lap described
by the Forks,

51
00:04:56,544 --> 00:05:00,214
of the Red, the Assiniboine.

52
00:05:00,298 --> 00:05:03,092
The Forks,

53
00:05:03,134 --> 00:05:06,429
Assiniboine and the Red.

54
00:05:06,512 --> 00:05:12,143
The rivers that forced animals and hunters
alike onto the same waterside pathways.

55
00:05:14,604 --> 00:05:17,732
The Forks, the lap.

56
00:05:18,024 --> 00:05:21,611
The Forks, the lap.

57
00:05:21,861 --> 00:05:25,406
The Forks, the lap.

58
00:05:25,615 --> 00:05:28,534
The Forks, the lap.

59
00:05:30,036 --> 00:05:34,082
The reason we are here, right here,

60
00:05:34,165 --> 00:05:36,334
in the center of the continent,

61
00:05:36,376 --> 00:05:40,213
the heart of the heart
of the continent.

62
00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:52,141
The hunted lap. The woolly lap.
The lap of my mother.

63
00:05:54,435 --> 00:05:59,023
Arteries.
The Forks beneath the Forks.

64
00:06:00,942 --> 00:06:06,572
An old tale from the first nations
has it there are subterranean forks...

65
00:06:06,656 --> 00:06:12,662
two secret rivers meeting,
directly beneath the Assiniboine and Red,

66
00:06:12,704 --> 00:06:16,791
this double pairing of rivers being
extra supernaturally powerful.

67
00:06:20,461 --> 00:06:26,175
The animals, the hunters,
the boatways, water and rails...

68
00:06:26,217 --> 00:06:28,845
these are the reasons we're here.

69
00:06:34,309 --> 00:06:38,896
Pulling out of the station.
Pulling out of the station.

70
00:06:38,980 --> 00:06:42,483
What if I had already left
decades ago?

71
00:06:42,567 --> 00:06:45,695
What if? What if?

72
00:06:45,737 --> 00:06:49,324
Winnipeg... always winter.

73
00:06:49,407 --> 00:06:52,702
Always winter.

74
00:06:52,744 --> 00:06:55,038
Always sleepy.

75
00:06:57,081 --> 00:07:00,084
Winnipeg...

76
00:07:00,168 --> 00:07:03,046
Winnipeg... Winnipeg.

77
00:07:06,966 --> 00:07:09,385
The train tracks cross
the streetcar tracks

78
00:07:09,427 --> 00:07:12,764
and in turn cross the streets
and the alleyways...

79
00:07:14,057 --> 00:07:19,145
everything beneath thin layers
of time, asphalt and snow.

80
00:07:19,228 --> 00:07:22,565
Are these arteries still here?

81
00:07:22,607 --> 00:07:27,111
Are they dug out every night
and reburied every dawn?

82
00:07:27,195 --> 00:07:30,907
We Winnipeggers are so stupefied
with nostalgia,

83
00:07:30,990 --> 00:07:33,242
we're actually never quite sure.

84
00:07:33,326 --> 00:07:35,953
I never really know anything
for sure,

85
00:07:36,037 --> 00:07:39,957
except that after a lifetime of trying
and many botched attempts,

86
00:07:40,041 --> 00:07:42,919
this time I'm leaving for good...
again!

87
00:07:46,255 --> 00:07:49,509
Back in Winnipeg's earliest years,
the Canadian Pacific Railway

88
00:07:49,592 --> 00:07:51,844
used to sponsor
an annual treasure hunt.

89
00:07:51,928 --> 00:07:54,597
This contest required
our citizens to wander the city

90
00:07:54,681 --> 00:07:57,725
in a day-long combing
of our streets and neighborhoods.

91
00:07:57,809 --> 00:08:00,853
First prize was a one-way ticket
on the next train out of town,

92
00:08:00,937 --> 00:08:03,731
the idea being that once someone
had spent a full day

93
00:08:03,815 --> 00:08:07,735
looking this closely at his own hometown,
he would never want to leave.

94
00:08:07,819 --> 00:08:10,947
That the real treasure
was right here all along.

95
00:08:10,989 --> 00:08:15,493
And you know what? Not one treasure-hunt
winner ever got on that train and left.

96
00:08:15,576 --> 00:08:18,371
Not one, not in 100 years.

97
00:08:21,165 --> 00:08:24,961
Well, I don't need a treasure hunt.
I've got my own ticket.

98
00:08:25,003 --> 00:08:27,088
I just have to make my way
through town,

99
00:08:27,171 --> 00:08:29,882
through everything
I've ever seen and lived...

100
00:08:30,717 --> 00:08:33,177
everything I've loved and forgotten.

101
00:08:35,555 --> 00:08:38,516
Through the thick, furry frost
and out to the city limits,

102
00:08:38,558 --> 00:08:41,728
then I'm on my way, out of here...

103
00:08:41,811 --> 00:08:45,982
out from the heart
of the heart of the continent,

104
00:08:46,024 --> 00:08:49,068
the woolly, furry, frosty lap.

105
00:08:49,152 --> 00:08:54,949
The Forks, the animals, hunters,
boatways, trains and Mother.

106
00:08:55,033 --> 00:08:57,618
These are the reasons we're here.

107
00:08:57,702 --> 00:09:02,623
These are these reasons we've stayed.
These are the reasons I'm leaving.

108
00:09:02,707 --> 00:09:07,837
These are the very things
that are going to help me get out of here.

109
00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:11,674
The Forks, the lap, the fur.

110
00:09:11,841 --> 00:09:15,053
The Forks, the lap, the fur.

111
00:09:18,890 --> 00:09:24,353
Mother appears occasionally on the train
to check on the passengers.

112
00:09:24,354 --> 00:09:27,231
My mother...

113
00:09:27,315 --> 00:09:30,610
a force as strong
as all the trains in Manitoba.

114
00:09:34,072 --> 00:09:37,367
As perennial as the winter,
as ancient as the bison,

115
00:09:37,408 --> 00:09:40,620
as supernatural
as the Forks itself.

116
00:09:40,662 --> 00:09:44,374
Her lap, a magnetic pole,

117
00:09:44,415 --> 00:09:47,293
a direction from which I can't turn
for long.

118
00:09:50,296 --> 00:09:53,299
It must be the sleepiness
which keeps Winnipeggers here.

119
00:09:53,424 --> 00:09:56,886
If only I can stay awake, pay attention
to where I'm going, where I've been,

120
00:09:56,970 --> 00:09:59,681
and get out of here.

121
00:09:59,806 --> 00:10:04,435
Stay awake.
Stay awake. Stay awake.

122
00:10:18,032 --> 00:10:20,034
We sleep as we walk...

123
00:10:22,745 --> 00:10:27,250
walk as we dream.

124
00:10:27,291 --> 00:10:31,879
Winnipeg has ten times the sleepwalking
rate of any other city in the world.

125
00:10:33,381 --> 00:10:38,845
And because we dream of where we walk
and walk to where we dream,

126
00:10:38,928 --> 00:10:42,181
we are always lost...

127
00:10:42,307 --> 00:10:44,267
befuddled.

128
00:10:52,567 --> 00:10:57,572
Asleep on foot, the Winnipegger
is a citizen of the night...

129
00:10:57,655 --> 00:11:00,908
the Winnipeg night.

130
00:11:00,950 --> 00:11:02,952
Why is this so?

131
00:11:04,620 --> 00:11:07,081
Why are we so sleepy?

132
00:11:07,165 --> 00:11:10,585
Why can't we just open our eyes?

133
00:11:10,710 --> 00:11:13,421
Is it the mystically paired
river Forks?

134
00:11:13,463 --> 00:11:16,424
The biomagnetic influence
of our bison?

135
00:11:16,507 --> 00:11:20,428
The powerful Northern Lights?
We don't know.

136
00:11:20,511 --> 00:11:22,847
We sleep.

137
00:11:25,683 --> 00:11:27,018
We sleepwalk.

138
00:11:28,353 --> 00:11:29,854
We sleepwalk.

139
00:11:35,860 --> 00:11:39,155
We show up on old doorsteps,

140
00:11:39,197 --> 00:11:45,703
old homes - our old homes,
those of our sweethearts...

141
00:11:45,787 --> 00:11:51,584
and we are allowed by civic law to carry
the keys of these old, dreamy domiciles,

142
00:11:51,668 --> 00:11:54,170
of these old, dreamy addresses.

143
00:11:58,132 --> 00:12:00,927
And those that live at the old homes

144
00:12:01,010 --> 00:12:05,181
must always take in
a lost sleepwalker...

145
00:12:05,223 --> 00:12:08,309
must let the confused one
stay till he wakes.

146
00:12:09,727 --> 00:12:12,605
In Winnipeg, it's the law.

147
00:12:14,983 --> 00:12:17,694
These old dreamy addresses.

148
00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:22,657
Keys... keys.

149
00:12:27,245 --> 00:12:29,247
Winnipeg.

150
00:12:34,377 --> 00:12:36,421
Home.

151
00:12:42,093 --> 00:12:46,639
Unlike other sleepwalkers who carry
with themselves great balls of keys,

152
00:12:46,723 --> 00:12:49,976
keys to all their old addresses,

153
00:12:50,059 --> 00:12:53,521
I keep just the one key with me
at all times,

154
00:12:53,604 --> 00:12:56,399
the key to 800 Ellice.

155
00:12:59,444 --> 00:13:01,321
Home.

156
00:13:07,076 --> 00:13:10,413
Dreams...

157
00:13:10,455 --> 00:13:12,540
dreaming...

158
00:13:12,790 --> 00:13:14,917
dreaming...

159
00:13:17,628 --> 00:13:19,922
Every night,
I have the same happy dream,

160
00:13:19,964 --> 00:13:23,635
that I'm back
in my childhood home.

161
00:13:23,718 --> 00:13:27,847
It was the biggest house
in the neighborhood, also the strangest.

162
00:13:29,807 --> 00:13:32,685
I was proud of this strangeness -
and ashamed, too,

163
00:13:32,769 --> 00:13:35,313
depending on who saw me
enter its front door,

164
00:13:35,396 --> 00:13:37,857
for it was actually
three structures in one...

165
00:13:37,940 --> 00:13:43,363
most embarrassingly, a beauty salon
run by my mom and my Aunt Lil...

166
00:13:43,446 --> 00:13:48,618
a sprawling seven-room suite in back
for my aunt and grandmother...

167
00:13:50,078 --> 00:13:53,206
and up top, a big baby boomer
bedroom cluster

168
00:13:53,289 --> 00:13:55,583
for my mom, dad, three siblings...

169
00:13:55,667 --> 00:14:01,297
Ross, Cam, Janet
and Toby, our Chihuahua,

170
00:14:01,381 --> 00:14:04,634
our long, long, long-dead
Chihuahua.

171
00:14:08,972 --> 00:14:11,808
A big cube of home.

172
00:14:11,849 --> 00:14:14,185
A chunk of happy home.

173
00:14:16,270 --> 00:14:20,274
I've often wondered what effect
growing up in a hair salon had on me.

174
00:14:20,358 --> 00:14:22,986
Designed by my mother in 1940...

175
00:14:26,864 --> 00:14:30,159
I loved the noises, the shop
always a-whir with gossip,

176
00:14:30,201 --> 00:14:32,704
laughter, buzzing, snipping,

177
00:14:32,787 --> 00:14:37,417
the clatter of trays dropped on the floor,
door chimes, the phone always ringing.

178
00:14:37,834 --> 00:14:42,672
Shrieks. Shrieks over the roar
of the dryers.

179
00:14:42,714 --> 00:14:45,299
The air always acrid
with lotions,

180
00:14:45,383 --> 00:14:47,093
or fuzzy with sprays...

181
00:14:47,176 --> 00:14:51,389
cloudy, cloudy, cloudy
with hairsprays.

182
00:14:51,472 --> 00:14:53,933
Helmets. Helmets.

183
00:14:55,059 --> 00:14:58,730
Cutting of hair.
The torturing of hair.

184
00:14:58,813 --> 00:15:03,151
Helmets. The drying of hair.
Helmets.

185
00:15:03,234 --> 00:15:05,194
Sweepings of hair.

186
00:15:05,278 --> 00:15:09,991
The hair chute for the sweepings,
leading down into the basement.

187
00:15:11,367 --> 00:15:14,203
The air vent leading upstairs,

188
00:15:14,287 --> 00:15:18,082
right into my bedroom,
bringing me every word of conversation

189
00:15:18,166 --> 00:15:20,835
that roiled
out of that gynocracy.

190
00:15:22,337 --> 00:15:24,339
At school, I reeked
of hair product...

191
00:15:24,422 --> 00:15:27,342
pomades for the elderly,
lotions for the elderly.

192
00:15:27,425 --> 00:15:30,053
I smelled of corn plasters
and Barbicide,

193
00:15:30,094 --> 00:15:33,848
of girdles and talc,
fur coats and purses,

194
00:15:33,931 --> 00:15:36,351
the insides of purses,

195
00:15:36,434 --> 00:15:39,479
the smells of female vanity
and desperation.

196
00:15:39,562 --> 00:15:43,107
I grew under their influences
into what I am.

197
00:15:48,196 --> 00:15:51,032
I will always love this shop.

198
00:15:55,036 --> 00:15:59,248
White... block... house.

199
00:15:59,457 --> 00:16:03,211
White... block... house.

200
00:16:07,131 --> 00:16:09,884
I can't stop dreaming of this home.

201
00:16:11,302 --> 00:16:13,888
It's changed since we sold it.

202
00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:18,184
It keeps changing in my dreams.

203
00:16:20,478 --> 00:16:24,732
New shapes -
similar, but confusing.

204
00:16:24,816 --> 00:16:29,070
All the other addresses that appear
where 800 Ellice should be...

205
00:16:29,153 --> 00:16:32,281
smaller, longer, darker...

206
00:16:32,365 --> 00:16:35,118
lower, older, bigger...

207
00:16:38,413 --> 00:16:42,333
but never just my home.

208
00:16:46,087 --> 00:16:49,924
Home. Home.

209
00:16:50,008 --> 00:16:54,220
The dreams are sweet
back home, back home.

210
00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:58,766
But the waking is bitter...
bitter... bitter.

211
00:17:03,354 --> 00:17:06,149
Bitterness.

212
00:17:06,190 --> 00:17:10,194
Bitterness sweet as the cold
of our winters.

213
00:17:10,278 --> 00:17:12,405
We're the coldest city in the world.

214
00:17:13,698 --> 00:17:18,661
What enchantments this cold offers up
to the person with the right attitude.

215
00:17:18,703 --> 00:17:21,164
What exuberant lungfuls
of fresh air the city has

216
00:17:21,205 --> 00:17:25,668
for those who want to scoop it up
in their mouths.

217
00:17:25,710 --> 00:17:28,504
Happiness,
dazzling outdoor happiness

218
00:17:28,546 --> 00:17:31,549
for anyone who cares to put on
a pair of mitts and embrace it,

219
00:17:31,632 --> 00:17:35,553
squeeze every last snowflake
of joy from it.

220
00:17:38,306 --> 00:17:41,934
Back in 1906, we Winnipeggers
built our own Happyland.

221
00:17:46,397 --> 00:17:50,318
Our own Luna Park,
our own Dreamland.

222
00:17:50,401 --> 00:17:54,530
You'd never know it, but between these
West End streets of Aubrey and Dominion,

223
00:17:54,572 --> 00:17:56,741
between Portage Avenue
and the Assiniboine,

224
00:17:56,824 --> 00:18:00,662
sprawled the immense permanent
playground, teeming with oddity.

225
00:18:00,703 --> 00:18:03,539
Wind-chilled rollercoasters

226
00:18:03,665 --> 00:18:07,960
and Ferris wheels enveloped
themselves in frost half the year,

227
00:18:08,378 --> 00:18:12,173
a Happyland for us
wintry Winnipeggers.

228
00:18:13,424 --> 00:18:16,594
Happyland... keeping us happy.

229
00:18:20,431 --> 00:18:22,850
All a dream, all a dream.

230
00:18:22,934 --> 00:18:26,562
I need to wake up,
keep my eyes open somehow.

231
00:18:26,646 --> 00:18:30,817
I need to get out of here.
I need to get out of here.

232
00:18:30,900 --> 00:18:32,652
What if?

233
00:18:32,735 --> 00:18:35,863
What if I film my way out of here?

234
00:18:35,947 --> 00:18:39,283
It's time for extreme measures.

235
00:18:40,535 --> 00:18:45,665
I need to make my own Happyland,
back at 800 Ellice.

236
00:18:52,130 --> 00:18:56,551
In commemoration of what would be
my parents' 65th wedding anniversary,

237
00:18:56,634 --> 00:19:00,722
I sublet for one month
the house in which I grew up.

238
00:19:00,805 --> 00:19:04,309
Mother, as always,
is game for anything.

239
00:19:04,392 --> 00:19:08,187
Eager is she to dip into
the past of her home.

240
00:19:08,271 --> 00:19:13,359
I hire movers.
Tax deduction. I'm a filmmaker.

241
00:19:13,401 --> 00:19:17,155
Only here can I properly
recreate the archetypal episodes

242
00:19:17,238 --> 00:19:18,990
from my family history.

243
00:19:19,073 --> 00:19:21,743
Only here can I isolate
the essence

244
00:19:21,826 --> 00:19:26,414
of what in this dynamic
is keeping me in Winnipeg.

245
00:19:26,456 --> 00:19:30,793
And perhaps, once this isolation
through filmed reenactment is complete,

246
00:19:30,877 --> 00:19:34,088
I can free myself from
the heinous power of family and city

247
00:19:34,172 --> 00:19:36,716
and escape once and for all.

248
00:19:37,884 --> 00:19:41,137
In addition to shooting everything,
I keep a meticulous logbook

249
00:19:41,179 --> 00:19:44,432
charting this strange plunge
back in time.

250
00:19:44,557 --> 00:19:48,936
It's 1963-ish, a time I believe
most likely to conceal

251
00:19:49,020 --> 00:19:53,566
the key to all the memories and feelings
that enervate me to this day.

252
00:19:54,859 --> 00:19:58,780
In my old living room,
Mother puts everything back just as it was.

253
00:19:59,113 --> 00:20:01,491
The old black-and-white TV
in one corner,

254
00:20:01,574 --> 00:20:05,953
the planters,
crummy sofa, the comfy chair.

255
00:20:06,037 --> 00:20:08,956
For one month,
I get to sleep in my old bedroom,

256
00:20:09,082 --> 00:20:13,127
the letters Y-U-G still carved
dyslexically upon its door

257
00:20:13,211 --> 00:20:16,464
so Santa will know I'm there.

258
00:20:16,506 --> 00:20:21,010
Everything is the same
as in my childhood.

259
00:20:21,094 --> 00:20:23,346
The scope of this experiment
excludes my father.

260
00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:25,348
I decide to keep him
out of the formula.

261
00:20:25,473 --> 00:20:28,351
My mother, missing him terribly
since his death 30 years ago,

262
00:20:28,434 --> 00:20:30,436
lobbies strongly for his inclusion.

263
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,480
We settle on a compromise
and pretend

264
00:20:32,563 --> 00:20:35,024
we've had him exhumed
and reburied in the living room,

265
00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:37,694
beneath a mound of earth
concealed by the area rug.

266
00:20:37,777 --> 00:20:41,531
This seems to buy her off -
for the time being, anyway.

267
00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:51,124
For the reenactments which concern me, I
hire actors to play my brothers and sister.

268
00:20:51,165 --> 00:20:53,167
Finding these actors isn't hard.

269
00:20:53,251 --> 00:20:56,629
In fact, I'm able to get substitutes
that bear uncanny resemblances

270
00:20:56,754 --> 00:20:58,715
to the vintage originals.

271
00:21:00,383 --> 00:21:04,053
My sister Janet, who in 1967
was a Pan Am Games gold medalist

272
00:21:04,137 --> 00:21:07,765
and is now a member of the
Manitoba Sports Hall of Fame.

273
00:21:07,849 --> 00:21:12,270
My brother Cameron,
who died in 1963 at the age of 16.

274
00:21:12,687 --> 00:21:15,815
My brother Ross,
always big man on campus.

275
00:21:16,441 --> 00:21:19,986
My dog Toby - lived to be 11,
never successfully house-trained...

276
00:21:20,820 --> 00:21:23,656
to be played by
my girlfriend's dog, Spanky.

277
00:21:24,032 --> 00:21:26,951
Actors for them all,
except Mother.

278
00:21:27,410 --> 00:21:29,954
At the last second,
the woman who has sublet this place

279
00:21:29,996 --> 00:21:32,290
decides she doesn't want to leave.

280
00:21:32,373 --> 00:21:34,542
She put a bit of a damper
on things.

281
00:21:34,625 --> 00:21:36,794
All of our old things...

282
00:21:36,878 --> 00:21:39,464
Experiment
seems to be going well.

283
00:21:39,547 --> 00:21:42,342
We start with something easy
the first few hours, and everyone...

284
00:21:42,425 --> 00:21:46,054
the hired actors, Mother, the strange lady
who won't leave her house...

285
00:21:46,137 --> 00:21:48,723
are all comfortable enough
to gather around the TV

286
00:21:48,765 --> 00:21:52,518
and watch the only television drama
ever produced in Winnipeg.

287
00:21:52,602 --> 00:21:54,896
Don't try to sweet-talk me.

288
00:21:54,979 --> 00:21:59,359
It's talk. talk. talk.
All you do is talk.

289
00:21:59,442 --> 00:22:01,736
I'm going to do it
for real this time!

290
00:22:01,819 --> 00:22:04,781
It was a daily TV drama
called "LedgeMan,"

291
00:22:04,822 --> 00:22:08,409
and my mother's been the female lead
in this show since 1956.

292
00:22:08,493 --> 00:22:11,996
Don't think they don't know
that you're a coward and a baby

293
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:17,085
who has to get his own way
all the time.

294
00:22:17,168 --> 00:22:21,964
You're looking pretty cocky
now that you've given me shingles

295
00:22:22,048 --> 00:22:25,635
and made me lick dirt for
all those reporters down there.

296
00:22:28,137 --> 00:22:30,932
Every day,
the show runs at noon.

297
00:22:31,015 --> 00:22:34,852
The same oversensitive man
takes something said the wrong way,

298
00:22:34,936 --> 00:22:37,230
climbs out on a window ledge
and threatens to jump.

299
00:22:37,271 --> 00:22:39,941
- I'm gonna jump.
- And every day, his mother appears

300
00:22:40,024 --> 00:22:43,444
at the nearest window and tells him
to remember all the reasons for living.

301
00:22:43,528 --> 00:22:47,323
In spite of what you think. you
have never been a disappointment to me.

302
00:22:47,407 --> 00:22:48,908
Don't make me do it.

303
00:22:48,992 --> 00:22:52,286
Why. when you were
a child model for Hudson Bay.

304
00:22:52,370 --> 00:22:56,374
I was so full of pride
I could hardly breathe.

305
00:22:56,457 --> 00:23:01,629
That little checked suit.
And not a hair out of place.

306
00:23:01,713 --> 00:23:03,923
Don't try to sweet-talk me!

307
00:23:04,007 --> 00:23:07,385
- By the end of each episode...
- I love you. Mom.

308
00:23:07,468 --> 00:23:11,222
The son is convinced
to come in to safety.

309
00:23:11,306 --> 00:23:13,474
But the next day,
he is back out there again.

310
00:23:13,558 --> 00:23:15,685
Next... on "LedgeMan"...

311
00:23:15,727 --> 00:23:19,188
Suicide on Portage and Main!

312
00:23:22,900 --> 00:23:28,364
Mother's never missed a day in
the 50 years the show has been broadcast.

313
00:23:28,448 --> 00:23:30,992
Surprisingly, after half a century
of acting on TV,

314
00:23:31,075 --> 00:23:33,536
Mother is resistant to playing
the role of herself

315
00:23:33,578 --> 00:23:35,997
in this exciting experiment of mine,

316
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:38,833
which could actually not just unlock
the secrets of a family,

317
00:23:38,916 --> 00:23:41,627
- but create a new genre of film.
- Six alpha, take one.

318
00:23:41,711 --> 00:23:45,381
Can't I have the lines?
It would be so much better for her.

319
00:23:45,423 --> 00:23:49,052
She's always been stubbornly
resistant to my most important ideas.

320
00:23:49,093 --> 00:23:52,764
Just to show me who's boss, she'll
forget a line or transpose its syllables,

321
00:23:52,847 --> 00:23:54,682
anything to destroy a take.

322
00:23:54,766 --> 00:23:59,854
OK, with the car? Oh, I'm sorry.
There's no such thing as an accident!

323
00:23:59,937 --> 00:24:04,317
- Let's just try it again.
- Yeah, I just went a little off there.

324
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:07,320
I just know
she's doing it to be difficult.

325
00:24:07,403 --> 00:24:11,240
Sorry, I'm getting further
and further away from the lines.

326
00:24:11,282 --> 00:24:14,702
We fight on the set, but her
refusal to acknowledge the real past

327
00:24:14,786 --> 00:24:17,664
becomes scientifically significant,
I think.

328
00:24:17,747 --> 00:24:19,957
Very telling.

329
00:24:20,041 --> 00:24:23,002
- Uh, may I hear that again?
- Sure. "No innocent..."

330
00:24:23,086 --> 00:24:28,841
This is gonna be a good month,
the month of my great escape.

331
00:24:28,925 --> 00:24:31,094
That's good, and cut!

332
00:24:33,012 --> 00:24:35,515
It's a singular chance,
this month.

333
00:24:35,598 --> 00:24:37,892
Who gets to vivisect
his own childhood?

334
00:24:40,103 --> 00:24:44,732
The first full scene up is
the straightening of the hall runner,

335
00:24:44,816 --> 00:24:48,152
something we did every exasperating day
of my childhood.

336
00:24:48,236 --> 00:24:50,863
An unbelievable source of frustration
for everyone,

337
00:24:50,947 --> 00:24:53,783
for the rug could actually
never be straightened out,

338
00:24:53,866 --> 00:24:56,119
no matter how much
anyone pulled from either end.

339
00:24:56,202 --> 00:24:59,455
And mother always nagged
from the sidelines.

340
00:24:59,497 --> 00:25:03,042
The actors put in a limp performance,
displaying little affect,

341
00:25:03,126 --> 00:25:06,170
and it's me behind the camera
who gets frustrated instead of them.

342
00:25:06,254 --> 00:25:08,589
An inspired Spanky
tries to help out

343
00:25:08,673 --> 00:25:12,385
by getting in the way
just as dead, dead Toby always did.

344
00:25:12,468 --> 00:25:16,431
But almost none of the data collected
in this reenactment will be of any use.

345
00:25:16,514 --> 00:25:20,351
But still, it's working.
Mother is in the moment.

346
00:25:20,435 --> 00:25:25,315
Never underestimate the tenacity
of a Winnipeg mother.

347
00:25:31,821 --> 00:25:36,451
The year 1957 saw Winnipeg embroiled
in the scandal of the Wolseley Elm

348
00:25:36,534 --> 00:25:38,745
growing out of the center
of Wolseley Avenue,

349
00:25:38,828 --> 00:25:41,289
surrounded by a curb
and a fringe of grass

350
00:25:41,372 --> 00:25:45,918
that Ripley's Believe It or Not declared
was the smallest park in the world.

351
00:25:46,002 --> 00:25:49,422
In 1957, the city assigned a crew
to remove the elm.

352
00:25:49,505 --> 00:25:52,675
In the ensuing standoff,
a dozen elderly neighborhood women

353
00:25:52,759 --> 00:25:56,304
encircled the tree arm in arm
to fend off the city workers' buzz saws.

354
00:25:56,387 --> 00:25:59,307
Within minutes the police had arrived,

355
00:25:59,390 --> 00:26:01,643
paddy wagons and all,
or the old biddies.

356
00:26:01,726 --> 00:26:05,355
A crowd gathered. "If they want to
chop down this tree," said one woman,

357
00:26:05,438 --> 00:26:07,732
"they're going to have to
chop us down first."

358
00:26:07,815 --> 00:26:09,817
In the end, the matter
was settled peacefully

359
00:26:09,901 --> 00:26:11,944
by newly elected mayor Stephen Juba,

360
00:26:12,028 --> 00:26:15,448
who pulled up in his Cadillac
and sent the workers home.

361
00:26:15,531 --> 00:26:17,992
Later that week, vandals,

362
00:26:18,076 --> 00:26:21,621
obviously working for the city,
blew up the tree with dynamite.

363
00:26:23,998 --> 00:26:28,336
What if? What if city hall ever listened
to the wishes of the people?

364
00:26:30,755 --> 00:26:33,883
1919.

365
00:26:33,925 --> 00:26:36,052
Returning soldiers
and police on the right.

366
00:26:36,135 --> 00:26:39,681
Our workers, stage left.

367
00:26:39,764 --> 00:26:42,809
The drama of our city's
most glorious moment,

368
00:26:42,892 --> 00:26:45,603
the 1919 General Strike.

369
00:26:45,687 --> 00:26:47,689
The clash of the marchers,

370
00:26:47,772 --> 00:26:52,568
their grand parades surging from
each direction, meeting in the middle.

371
00:26:52,610 --> 00:26:55,321
Meeting where? On this day,

372
00:26:55,405 --> 00:26:59,117
in front of St. Mary's Academy for Girls.

373
00:27:02,745 --> 00:27:05,206
St. Mary's Academy for Girls,

374
00:27:05,289 --> 00:27:07,917
where the quaking little princesses
of the middle class

375
00:27:08,001 --> 00:27:10,712
tremble out their fathers'
fear of workers...

376
00:27:10,795 --> 00:27:14,382
fear the workers might actually
get paid fairly someday.

377
00:27:14,465 --> 00:27:17,552
But the workers are not to be denied.
Neither police truncheon

378
00:27:17,635 --> 00:27:21,180
nor the wealth of the bourgeoisie
can stall their determination.

379
00:27:21,264 --> 00:27:24,517
The newspapers paint the workers
as Bolshevik rapists,

380
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:28,688
which galvanizes the girls' worrisome
fathers into a frenzy of paranoia

381
00:27:28,771 --> 00:27:31,482
and sets the nuns,
those ever-opiating nuns,

382
00:27:31,566 --> 00:27:36,362
foolish as the turkeys they raise,
puffing up into a gobbling panic.

383
00:27:36,446 --> 00:27:41,826
Such was the crucible of the continent's
labor movement here in Winnipeg.

384
00:27:41,909 --> 00:27:45,621
Brave men, doing what had to be done,

385
00:27:45,705 --> 00:27:50,251
teaching the next generation to throw off
its girlish fears of the inevitable.

386
00:28:07,435 --> 00:28:11,564
The workers.
The workers' night school...

387
00:28:11,648 --> 00:28:14,067
and some of their most eager
students sleepwalk

388
00:28:14,150 --> 00:28:17,528
right out to the barricades
to meet their new teachers.

389
00:28:17,612 --> 00:28:20,823
What they want they know not,
but they're gonna get it,

390
00:28:20,907 --> 00:28:24,702
and our city will be at the forefront
of the workers' rights movement

391
00:28:24,786 --> 00:28:27,789
from here on in.

392
00:28:32,043 --> 00:28:34,295
You can feel the spirit
of labor still

393
00:28:34,379 --> 00:28:37,799
whenever you walk around
St Mary's Academy at night.

394
00:28:37,882 --> 00:28:42,095
You can still see the impotent
old fence, now snow-buried,

395
00:28:42,178 --> 00:28:46,808
that once tried to keep
those heroic Bolsheviks at bay.

396
00:28:48,851 --> 00:28:54,023
Now a single sleepwalker
re-marches the same historic route

397
00:28:54,065 --> 00:28:57,944
the strikers took past the school.

398
00:28:58,027 --> 00:29:02,991
Is he remembering with his blood
those long-ago days of excitement?

399
00:29:03,074 --> 00:29:07,453
Or is he just another sleepwalker
jingling his keys in his pocket?

400
00:29:07,537 --> 00:29:11,708
He's barely noticed
by anyone at St. Mary's.

401
00:29:11,749 --> 00:29:14,752
He is as invisible as I am otherwise.

402
00:29:14,836 --> 00:29:17,171
Maybe it is I.

403
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:31,477
The closest I ever got to
St. Mary's Academy for Girls...

404
00:29:31,561 --> 00:29:34,480
I remember getting lost
as a three-year-old who rode off from home

405
00:29:34,564 --> 00:29:36,733
on the seat of my little green dump truck

406
00:29:36,774 --> 00:29:39,319
and ending up
on the grounds of St. Mary's,

407
00:29:39,402 --> 00:29:41,654
forbidden territory for a boy.

408
00:29:43,448 --> 00:29:47,785
Soon, I was surrounded by solicitous
schoolgirls who coddled me, teased me,

409
00:29:47,869 --> 00:29:51,664
held my hand, pressed me
into their blouses and kissed me

410
00:29:51,748 --> 00:29:53,916
in a kind of competition for me,

411
00:29:53,958 --> 00:29:57,920
which ended only
with the arrival of a big nun.

412
00:30:05,887 --> 00:30:08,514
Now my encounters with the students
of this fenced-in school

413
00:30:08,598 --> 00:30:12,143
are limited only
to little lunchtime sightings.

414
00:30:12,226 --> 00:30:16,230
The girls like to smoke
at Munson Park across the street.

415
00:30:16,314 --> 00:30:18,358
Delinquent girls...

416
00:30:18,441 --> 00:30:21,569
nothing stokes
my mother's engines more!

417
00:30:22,820 --> 00:30:26,908
Well, delinquent girls are
all in the past for me, Mother.

418
00:30:26,991 --> 00:30:29,035
It's time to get back to work,

419
00:30:29,118 --> 00:30:33,790
back to the task
of disentangling myself from this town.

420
00:30:36,376 --> 00:30:39,379
One scene I'm anxious to get at
is the re-creation of the time

421
00:30:39,462 --> 00:30:42,507
my sister hit a deer on the highway
coming back from Kenora.

422
00:30:42,590 --> 00:30:45,927
I felt at the time
my mother really overreacted.

423
00:30:46,010 --> 00:30:48,888
I need to view this episode again.

424
00:30:48,972 --> 00:30:52,558
Was it my sister's fault?
Was it my mother's?

425
00:30:52,642 --> 00:30:54,394
And action!

426
00:30:54,477 --> 00:30:56,729
Mother!

427
00:30:56,813 --> 00:30:58,773
I had an accident!

428
00:30:58,856 --> 00:31:01,901
An accident? With the car?

429
00:31:01,985 --> 00:31:06,406
- I ran into a deer.
- A deer, on the highway?

430
00:31:06,489 --> 00:31:10,243
There's no such thing
as an accident!

431
00:31:10,326 --> 00:31:14,288
- What were you doing out there?
- I told you, a track team party.

432
00:31:14,372 --> 00:31:19,127
Out in the woods where the boys
can run faster than you?

433
00:31:19,210 --> 00:31:22,338
- Come on.
- The deer wasn't dead.

434
00:31:22,422 --> 00:31:25,091
And I just stood there crying
until a driver stopped.

435
00:31:25,174 --> 00:31:28,428
- And what did he want?
- He helped me, Mother.

436
00:31:28,511 --> 00:31:31,764
He got a tire iron and he put
the deer out of his misery.

437
00:31:31,848 --> 00:31:36,352
I'll bet.
Let's see the damage.

438
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:42,525
Now, what do you have
to say for yourself?

439
00:31:42,608 --> 00:31:46,821
There's the deer fur and the blood
and the dent, just like I said.

440
00:31:46,904 --> 00:31:49,032
I wasn't born yesterday, dearie.

441
00:31:49,073 --> 00:31:52,869
Where did it happen?
In the backseat?

442
00:31:52,952 --> 00:31:55,872
- Where did what happen?
- The real party.

443
00:31:55,955 --> 00:32:01,544
Did he pin you down, or did you just
lie down and let nature take its course?

444
00:32:01,627 --> 00:32:04,505
Mother. She knows
how to read all the signs,

445
00:32:04,589 --> 00:32:07,842
those gentle substitutions
for dark wishes.

446
00:32:07,925 --> 00:32:09,552
Who did it?

447
00:32:09,594 --> 00:32:13,681
Was it the boy on the track team
or the man with the tire iron?

448
00:32:13,765 --> 00:32:18,394
Mother, you're not making any sense.
You sound like a crazy person.

449
00:32:18,436 --> 00:32:21,022
We'll see how crazy I am.

450
00:32:21,105 --> 00:32:23,358
I know what it's like out there.

451
00:32:23,441 --> 00:32:26,277
Every night, the same old story.

452
00:32:26,361 --> 00:32:30,865
Take it off, put it in,
pull it out, do this, do that.

453
00:32:30,948 --> 00:32:33,201
Don't try my patience.

454
00:32:33,284 --> 00:32:35,703
The signs,
hiding in plain sight.

455
00:32:35,787 --> 00:32:40,166
No innocent girl stays out past ten
with blood on her fender.

456
00:32:41,292 --> 00:32:45,004
- It's my life, not yours.
- Well, who gave you that life?

457
00:32:45,088 --> 00:32:47,632
- I never asked for it!
- Neither did I!

458
00:32:47,715 --> 00:32:49,801
And so help me,
if I could turn you in

459
00:32:49,884 --> 00:32:53,805
for somebody who knows how to
take care of themselves, I would!

460
00:32:53,888 --> 00:32:56,724
Well, I wish you had.
I'd rather be an orphan!

461
00:32:56,808 --> 00:33:01,062
Don't tempt me!
Every night I look at my pills.

462
00:33:01,145 --> 00:33:04,857
One little push is all I need.

463
00:33:05,650 --> 00:33:08,403
It was the man with the tire iron.

464
00:33:08,486 --> 00:33:13,908
He saw the blood and the fur,
and that was that!

465
00:33:13,992 --> 00:33:16,911
It wasn't like that.
You weren't there.

466
00:33:16,995 --> 00:33:18,788
Did he pay you?

467
00:33:18,830 --> 00:33:21,916
No! What do you think I am?

468
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:25,461
What did all the tears
for the deer accomplish?

469
00:33:25,503 --> 00:33:28,006
All it did was put you
in the mood for the other.

470
00:33:28,089 --> 00:33:31,718
I'll never see him again!

471
00:33:31,801 --> 00:33:37,140
Of course not. It only took him
five minutes to find out what you are.

472
00:33:37,181 --> 00:33:39,767
My sister hit
and killed a deer.

473
00:33:39,851 --> 00:33:43,521
My mother sees through this euphemism,
for it is a euphemism.

474
00:33:43,604 --> 00:33:46,607
Everything that happens in this city
is a euphemism.

475
00:33:46,691 --> 00:33:50,361
Mother understands in a second
what this deer blood and fur means,

476
00:33:50,445 --> 00:33:52,530
and somehow she's right.

477
00:33:52,613 --> 00:33:55,116
She can read our family
and our civic secrets,

478
00:33:55,199 --> 00:34:00,705
our desire and our shame,
as easily as she can read a newspaper.

479
00:34:00,788 --> 00:34:02,582
Mother...

480
00:34:02,665 --> 00:34:05,543
maybe the most psychic
of all Winnipeggers.

481
00:34:05,626 --> 00:34:08,963
No matter where I am,
I can feel her watching me.

482
00:34:09,047 --> 00:34:13,343
I can feel her hand on my shoulder
when I'm out sleepwalking,

483
00:34:13,426 --> 00:34:16,095
guiding me back to my own bed.

484
00:34:18,931 --> 00:34:23,186
I don't think it matters
if she's awake or asleep, living or dead,

485
00:34:23,227 --> 00:34:26,064
she'll always know
exactly what I'm doing.

486
00:34:29,192 --> 00:34:32,654
Winnipeggers have always been
skilled at reading past the surface

487
00:34:32,737 --> 00:34:35,782
and into the hidden depths
of their city.

488
00:34:35,865 --> 00:34:40,453
On a small scale, we had
Curious Lou Profeta back in the 1930s.

489
00:34:40,536 --> 00:34:44,415
He was famous for de-spooking furniture
that Winnipeggers feared haunted.

490
00:34:44,499 --> 00:34:47,210
The city once even hired him
to spiritually cleanse

491
00:34:47,251 --> 00:34:50,338
a streetcar that was
giving passengers the jitters.

492
00:34:56,761 --> 00:34:59,389
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
always cited Winnipeg

493
00:34:59,430 --> 00:35:01,724
as having the greatest
psychic possibilities

494
00:35:01,766 --> 00:35:05,061
of any city he had ever visited,
possibly because of the lap,

495
00:35:05,103 --> 00:35:06,854
the fur, the frost, etcetera,

496
00:35:06,938 --> 00:35:12,068
but especially because of the Forks
and the Forks beneath the Forks.

497
00:35:12,110 --> 00:35:14,946
The first nation's people knew
how to read what Conan Doyle

498
00:35:15,029 --> 00:35:17,907
only sensed in this city,
for centuries burying their dead

499
00:35:17,949 --> 00:35:22,412
as close as possible to the most
powerful confluence of our four rivers,

500
00:35:22,453 --> 00:35:27,166
Red and Assiniboine,
Red and Assiniboine.

501
00:35:32,171 --> 00:35:34,882
In the 1920s,
Thomas Glendenning Hamilton,

502
00:35:34,966 --> 00:35:37,635
distinguished Winnipeg medical doctor
and politician,

503
00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:41,055
held at his home
elaborately documented séances

504
00:35:41,139 --> 00:35:43,975
in the hope
of contacting his dead son.

505
00:35:44,058 --> 00:35:47,353
These nocturnal confabulations
quickly spun out

506
00:35:47,437 --> 00:35:50,773
into the viscous and cottony
hallucinations you see here,

507
00:35:50,815 --> 00:35:54,152
depictions of the war
constantly waged in this city

508
00:35:54,235 --> 00:35:58,323
between the two worlds
in which Winnipeggers live now

509
00:35:58,406 --> 00:36:01,409
and which they expect
to inhabit in the future.

510
00:36:05,204 --> 00:36:08,624
The most intriguing work in
the paranormal field here in Winnipeg

511
00:36:08,708 --> 00:36:12,128
was led by medium
Gweneth Lloyd back in 1939,

512
00:36:12,170 --> 00:36:14,797
the same year she co-founded
what became eventually

513
00:36:14,881 --> 00:36:17,050
the Royal Winnipeg Ballet.

514
00:36:17,133 --> 00:36:19,802
She conducted a number
of notorious séances

515
00:36:19,927 --> 00:36:22,221
in which she danced out,
rather than spoke,

516
00:36:22,305 --> 00:36:25,933
the restless messages
from the denizens of the beyond.

517
00:36:26,017 --> 00:36:28,478
The most famous of these meetings
she conducted

518
00:36:28,561 --> 00:36:31,272
at our provincial
legislative building,

519
00:36:31,397 --> 00:36:34,359
which also happens to be
the world's largest Masonic temple,

520
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:37,737
secretly constructed along
ancient occult specifications

521
00:36:37,820 --> 00:36:41,157
in 1922 by our premier,
Rodmond P. Roblin,

522
00:36:41,282 --> 00:36:44,786
who, along with his entire cabinet,
were third-degree Masons.

523
00:36:44,827 --> 00:36:47,664
That's the Greek god Hermes
atop our dome,

524
00:36:47,747 --> 00:36:51,542
disguised as the Golden Boy
by an armful of wheat,

525
00:36:51,584 --> 00:36:55,254
our sleepy eyes never suspecting
his fearsome pagan power

526
00:36:55,380 --> 00:36:58,800
and unlikely presence here
in modern North America.

527
00:37:01,678 --> 00:37:05,932
Present at the medium's table that night
were our city's most respected city fathers,

528
00:37:06,015 --> 00:37:09,227
including the incorruptible
Mayor Cornish

529
00:37:09,310 --> 00:37:13,147
and... the madams,
or shop stewards,

530
00:37:13,231 --> 00:37:15,191
of our illustrious brothel collectives,

531
00:37:15,274 --> 00:37:19,278
women respected for their political acumen
and clout in the community.

532
00:37:19,404 --> 00:37:23,616
Countless streets in our core area
are now named for these great women.

533
00:41:47,255 --> 00:41:51,551
* It's a mmoody Manitoba mmorning

534
00:41:51,634 --> 00:41:56,097
Nothing's really happening
It never does...

535
00:41:56,222 --> 00:42:01,769
One last time through January,
the coldest, darkest month.

536
00:42:01,811 --> 00:42:03,813
To bring me a letter...

537
00:42:03,855 --> 00:42:07,233
Deepest part of the winter,
no end in sight.

538
00:42:07,317 --> 00:42:09,402
The condoms come off.

539
00:42:09,485 --> 00:42:12,196
These are the bareback months
of Winnipeg.

540
00:42:12,238 --> 00:42:14,657
Your breath freezes
in front of your face

541
00:42:14,741 --> 00:42:17,118
and falls to your feet with a tinkle.

542
00:42:18,202 --> 00:42:21,414
Man and dog,
we walk the streets...

543
00:42:21,497 --> 00:42:24,208
my guide dog through time.

544
00:42:25,293 --> 00:42:29,088
* And I like it that way

545
00:42:29,172 --> 00:42:31,341
Even people who have never
encountered snow

546
00:42:31,424 --> 00:42:33,843
can imagine what it's like
to walk through it.

547
00:42:33,926 --> 00:42:36,846
You leave footprints, declivities.

548
00:42:36,888 --> 00:42:39,724
When you step on fresh snow,
you pack it down.

549
00:42:39,807 --> 00:42:44,019
You pack it down onto the sidewalk, and
when all the loose snow later blows away,

550
00:42:44,020 --> 00:42:47,523
it actually leaves a positive record
of that negative space.

551
00:42:47,607 --> 00:42:51,194
It leaves your footstep
as a kind of little relief record of it.

552
00:42:51,277 --> 00:42:54,197
I like to think of these things
as snow fossils.

553
00:42:54,238 --> 00:42:57,700
They don't last 600 million years.
They only last a few months.

554
00:42:57,784 --> 00:43:00,370
But you can actually trace
through these snow fossils

555
00:43:00,453 --> 00:43:04,666
your own passage up and down your
sidewalk over the course of a winter.

556
00:43:04,749 --> 00:43:08,670
It's a way of walking backward
and forward in winter's time.

557
00:43:10,296 --> 00:43:12,965
Winnipeg.

558
00:43:13,049 --> 00:43:18,137
We negotiate the great white ways,
the snow labyrinths,

559
00:43:18,221 --> 00:43:23,142
mazes of ectoplasm which determine
our paths through our lives here.

560
00:43:23,267 --> 00:43:26,813
We have little or no choice
where we go, where we sleep,

561
00:43:26,938 --> 00:43:29,357
what we feel.

562
00:43:31,234 --> 00:43:37,323
A city of palimpsests, of skins,
of skins beneath skins.

563
00:43:39,742 --> 00:43:42,870
How to decode the signs of the city?

564
00:43:44,789 --> 00:43:47,500
Another civic law here...

565
00:43:47,583 --> 00:43:51,921
we're not allowed to destroy
old signage, any old signage.

566
00:43:51,963 --> 00:43:55,925
Instead it's kept, kept forever

567
00:43:55,967 --> 00:43:59,220
at the old signage graveyard.

568
00:43:59,262 --> 00:44:02,724
Dip into the layers
of Winnipeg...

569
00:44:03,975 --> 00:44:08,271
a city just four years older
than my grandmother.

570
00:44:08,313 --> 00:44:12,317
Sometimes so young-seeming,
sometimes so ancient.

571
00:44:13,443 --> 00:44:17,280
Frightening.
Frightening is one's place in time.

572
00:44:26,372 --> 00:44:30,835
When the snow starts falling,
the city starts to feel lawless...

573
00:44:30,918 --> 00:44:33,629
lawless but safe.

574
00:44:33,713 --> 00:44:39,177
All the painted lines on the street
are erased by snow, and anything goes.

575
00:44:39,260 --> 00:44:42,513
It's a big game
of bump-'em cars out there.

576
00:44:42,597 --> 00:44:44,432
The lights look pretty.

577
00:44:44,474 --> 00:44:47,601
You can't even see
out of your windshield half the time.

578
00:44:47,602 --> 00:44:51,272
You know you can glide sideways,
skidding through a red light,

579
00:44:51,397 --> 00:44:53,566
and the cops will let it go.

580
00:45:05,620 --> 00:45:08,623
In Winnipeg, it's way more fun
for us to cross the city

581
00:45:08,665 --> 00:45:11,167
using only its back lanes.

582
00:45:12,460 --> 00:45:16,714
The city possesses a vast network
of these unofficial streets,

583
00:45:16,798 --> 00:45:20,218
a fine grid-like work
of narrow unspoken-of byways

584
00:45:20,301 --> 00:45:23,221
that hold a charm all of their own.

585
00:45:23,304 --> 00:45:27,016
They're not even allowed on city maps,
but the populace knows all about them

586
00:45:27,100 --> 00:45:29,602
and uses them
more than legitimate streets.

587
00:45:34,148 --> 00:45:37,652
A dispute between the city's
two main taxi companies was settled

588
00:45:37,777 --> 00:45:40,780
by giving one company the rights
to use the regular streets,

589
00:45:40,905 --> 00:45:45,410
while the other company must pick up and
drop off its fares only in the back lanes.

590
00:45:47,912 --> 00:45:52,000
It's inside these black arteries
where the real Winnipeg is found,

591
00:45:52,083 --> 00:45:55,628
where memories
most plausibly come alive.

592
00:45:55,712 --> 00:46:00,174
The network of these lanes suggests
the grid of a secret city

593
00:46:00,258 --> 00:46:03,094
laid right on top
of the known one.

594
00:46:03,177 --> 00:46:06,139
Lanes with names remembered
only by word of mouth

595
00:46:06,222 --> 00:46:10,643
lie on top of streets named after
politicians and land developers.

596
00:46:10,727 --> 00:46:15,148
The lanes are illicit things
best not discussed - shameful.

597
00:46:15,231 --> 00:46:17,859
They receive the breech ends
of the houses,

598
00:46:17,900 --> 00:46:21,654
the side of the home not meant
for polite company.

599
00:46:21,738 --> 00:46:24,657
They are the weedy landscapes
of shameful abandonment,

600
00:46:24,741 --> 00:46:27,160
the conduits of refuse removal.

601
00:46:27,243 --> 00:46:30,163
Here we strew what we no longer
want to acknowledge,

602
00:46:30,246 --> 00:46:32,999
and everything,
most notably the Winnipeg special...

603
00:46:33,082 --> 00:46:35,626
a mattress bent over
with fatal stains...

604
00:46:35,710 --> 00:46:39,130
is quickly covered up
by the forgetfulness of our snow.

605
00:46:45,011 --> 00:46:47,555
I am man's best friend,
and also man's...

606
00:46:47,639 --> 00:46:51,517
In the alleyways,
strange wavelengths dominate.

607
00:46:51,601 --> 00:46:54,771
The dispatcher
seems to speak directly to you.

608
00:46:54,854 --> 00:46:57,357
Yes, I got that this morning...

609
00:46:57,440 --> 00:47:00,652
The driving is softer,
soft as a cushion,

610
00:47:00,735 --> 00:47:03,196
a white pillow plumped.

611
00:47:09,285 --> 00:47:12,372
Then there's the strange case
of Lorette...

612
00:47:12,455 --> 00:47:14,540
a hermaphrodite street.

613
00:47:14,624 --> 00:47:17,543
It's half front street,
half back lane.

614
00:47:20,546 --> 00:47:22,590
No one speaks of Lorette.

615
00:47:41,192 --> 00:47:44,278
Even the architecture
in Winnipeg is sad,

616
00:47:44,362 --> 00:47:46,990
has an addled concept of itself.

617
00:47:48,741 --> 00:47:52,495
Emblematic of this is
the Arlington Street Bridge,

618
00:47:52,578 --> 00:47:55,832
a vast span of unfrosted
steel girders

619
00:47:55,915 --> 00:48:00,378
which arches over
the city's sprawling train yards,

620
00:48:00,461 --> 00:48:06,092
where trains couple in the fog,
rumble on awhile, then noisily divorce.

621
00:48:08,136 --> 00:48:10,722
The bridge, manufactured
some 100 years ago

622
00:48:10,805 --> 00:48:12,932
by the Vulcan Iron Works of London,

623
00:48:13,016 --> 00:48:17,520
was originally destined for Egypt,
where it was to span the Nile.

624
00:48:17,603 --> 00:48:22,025
But a mistake in specs made the fit
with that river impossible,

625
00:48:22,108 --> 00:48:26,696
and the bridge was sold at a bargain price
to bargain-crazy Winnipeg.

626
00:48:30,700 --> 00:48:34,620
The bridge has not adjusted well
to its always-strapped foster home,

627
00:48:34,704 --> 00:48:38,583
and it often turns in its sleep
when it is possibly dreaming

628
00:48:38,666 --> 00:48:41,336
of its lush and joyous
originally intended home

629
00:48:41,377 --> 00:48:43,838
and pops a girder out of place.

630
00:48:47,383 --> 00:48:50,053
The sounds that groan up
from the yard at night

631
00:48:50,136 --> 00:48:53,181
resemble the agonies
of some colossal arthritis.

632
00:49:07,737 --> 00:49:11,115
Just as the Arlington Street Bridge
dreams of the Nile,

633
00:49:11,199 --> 00:49:15,453
we have another dreaming
man-made feature of the skyline,

634
00:49:15,536 --> 00:49:19,207
this one an impostor of
the landscape, Garbage Hill,

635
00:49:19,248 --> 00:49:23,419
the only hill in otherwise
board-flat Winnipeg.

636
00:49:23,461 --> 00:49:26,547
Made from a half-century
of the population's trash,

637
00:49:26,589 --> 00:49:30,385
then grassed over and passed off
as a park a generation ago.

638
00:49:32,303 --> 00:49:35,765
This great mound,
home to tobogganing children,

639
00:49:35,807 --> 00:49:38,643
dreams its filthy dreams of garbage.

640
00:49:42,730 --> 00:49:45,191
It's not uncommon for kids
sliding down this hill

641
00:49:45,274 --> 00:49:48,611
to be impaled on a rusty piece of rail
or old car fender

642
00:49:48,653 --> 00:49:51,280
that's been heaved up by the frost.

643
00:49:57,578 --> 00:49:59,580
My Winnipeg.

644
00:50:03,459 --> 00:50:07,547
A horrific chain reaction of architectural
tragedies started in the late '90s

645
00:50:07,630 --> 00:50:10,800
when our titanic Eaton's department store
on Portage Avenue

646
00:50:10,842 --> 00:50:14,512
hit that prairie iceberg and sank -
bankruptcy.

647
00:50:16,097 --> 00:50:19,726
Eaton's once dominated this city,
to the point where over 65 cents

648
00:50:19,809 --> 00:50:23,730
of every Winnipeg shopping dollar
was spent at this single store.

649
00:50:23,813 --> 00:50:27,650
To say it defined Winnipeg retail
would be no exaggeration.

650
00:50:28,693 --> 00:50:30,945
After the bankruptcy,
our civic government,

651
00:50:30,987 --> 00:50:34,115
without even trying to dream up
a second life for the old store,

652
00:50:34,198 --> 00:50:38,661
suddenly and unforgivably
razed it.

653
00:50:38,703 --> 00:50:41,664
Demolition is one of our city's
few growth industries.

654
00:50:41,706 --> 00:50:46,961
Overnight, construction of a new arena
on the old Eaton's site was announced.

655
00:50:47,003 --> 00:50:51,466
Curiously, after years
of fighting, resisting, refusing

656
00:50:51,507 --> 00:50:53,801
to build a new rink
for the NHL Jets,

657
00:50:53,843 --> 00:50:55,970
allowing them
to abandon us for Phoenix,

658
00:50:56,012 --> 00:51:01,225
city council suddenly rushed out this
new architectural lie to Winnipeggers.

659
00:51:01,309 --> 00:51:05,897
The result, a sterile new thrift rink
for minor league hockey,

660
00:51:05,980 --> 00:51:08,066
with too few seats
to reach the NHL minimum,

661
00:51:08,149 --> 00:51:11,569
should a miracle ever give us
another shot at playing in the big leagues,

662
00:51:11,653 --> 00:51:14,906
a ridiculous,
politically motivated tragedy

663
00:51:14,989 --> 00:51:18,493
with the corporate name "Empty Centre."

664
00:51:20,078 --> 00:51:23,665
I'm sure memories will accumulate
in this "Empty Centre,"

665
00:51:23,748 --> 00:51:27,877
which has nothing but low-priced newness
to recommend it.

666
00:51:27,919 --> 00:51:30,296
Until then, this thoughtless
new building just sits

667
00:51:30,380 --> 00:51:34,717
on the windswept downtown corner
like a zombie in a cheap new suit,

668
00:51:34,759 --> 00:51:38,596
its brick coat somehow meant
as an homage to atomized Eaton's,

669
00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:42,600
but coming off more as an insult
to the grand old department store,

670
00:51:42,684 --> 00:51:45,228
and an insult to us.

671
00:51:47,730 --> 00:51:50,024
Now the real tragedy.

672
00:51:50,066 --> 00:51:53,194
Since we've suddenly ended up
with two large hockey arenas,

673
00:51:53,236 --> 00:51:55,697
the real Winnipeg Arena,
the old Winnipeg Arena,

674
00:51:55,738 --> 00:51:59,784
the most fabled, myth-and-memory-packed
landmark in our city's history,

675
00:51:59,867 --> 00:52:01,494
has been condemned.

676
00:52:01,577 --> 00:52:05,623
Condemned!
In fact, demolition has already begun.

677
00:52:06,791 --> 00:52:10,670
For 50 years, this ice hockey cathedral
fit Winnipeg and its sport

678
00:52:10,753 --> 00:52:12,839
like a skull fits its brain.

679
00:52:12,922 --> 00:52:15,758
This building was my male parent,

680
00:52:15,842 --> 00:52:19,971
and everything male in my childhood
I picked up right here.

681
00:52:21,889 --> 00:52:25,685
I was even born here...
right in this dressing room.

682
00:52:25,768 --> 00:52:27,437
Look at it.

683
00:52:29,063 --> 00:52:31,274
Born during a game between
the Winnipeg Maroons

684
00:52:31,357 --> 00:52:33,568
and the Trail Smoke Eaters.

685
00:52:33,609 --> 00:52:36,362
I was bundled up and taken
straight home after the game

686
00:52:36,446 --> 00:52:40,408
and brought back a few days later
to watch my first complete contest.

687
00:52:40,491 --> 00:52:43,369
My dad worked behind the bench
for the Winnipeg Maroons,

688
00:52:43,453 --> 00:52:45,371
the 1964 Allan Cup winners,

689
00:52:45,455 --> 00:52:48,416
senior hockey champs
in the days of the Original Six.

690
00:52:48,458 --> 00:52:50,710
And for the Canadian national team
as well,

691
00:52:50,793 --> 00:52:53,546
as Winnipeg hosted
in wave upon frightening wave

692
00:52:53,629 --> 00:52:56,716
visits from the revolutionary
juggernaut Soviet team,

693
00:52:56,799 --> 00:52:59,052
years before the hubristic NHL

694
00:52:59,135 --> 00:53:02,221
deigned to hold
its first Summit Series in 1972.

695
00:53:02,305 --> 00:53:06,142
Here's my ticket for game three
of that series, a four-all tie,

696
00:53:06,225 --> 00:53:08,561
a dull game compared
to the electrifying contests

697
00:53:08,645 --> 00:53:12,565
typically held here at the world capital
of international hockey.

698
00:53:12,649 --> 00:53:14,817
The NHL never liked us
here in Winnipeg.

699
00:53:14,901 --> 00:53:19,530
They raked us of our best players
when we joined up with them in 1979.

700
00:53:19,614 --> 00:53:21,908
I grew up in the locker rooms,

701
00:53:21,991 --> 00:53:24,952
was breastfed there
in the wives' chambers,

702
00:53:24,994 --> 00:53:28,498
and was often lent out to visiting teams
as a stick boy.

703
00:53:28,581 --> 00:53:31,834
I met my first superstar
in the Soviet showers,

704
00:53:31,918 --> 00:53:36,297
dazzled by Anatoly Firsov
as he emerged from the steam,

705
00:53:36,339 --> 00:53:39,342
naked except for the lather
mantling his torso.

706
00:53:39,384 --> 00:53:41,386
Positively smitten by him,

707
00:53:41,469 --> 00:53:44,389
I once stole
his famed number 11 jersey,

708
00:53:44,472 --> 00:53:46,933
taking it home and sliding it
over my nude body

709
00:53:47,016 --> 00:53:49,727
to take a few erotically charged
secret slap shots

710
00:53:49,811 --> 00:53:53,982
before tossing it into the Forks
for fear the KGB would catch me wearing it.

711
00:53:54,023 --> 00:53:57,986
I nearly fainted from the touch
of its fabric and the fear.

712
00:54:02,865 --> 00:54:07,120
On off days, I would go to the arena
for the strange pleasure I could produce

713
00:54:07,203 --> 00:54:10,540
by flipping down
every one of the 10,000 seats,

714
00:54:10,581 --> 00:54:15,044
admiring them,
then flipping them all back up again.

715
00:54:19,757 --> 00:54:25,221
Urine, breast milk, sweat...

716
00:54:25,263 --> 00:54:28,141
the hockey cathedral’s
holy trinity of odors.

717
00:54:29,434 --> 00:54:33,688
These are the smells that will haunt
this holy site forever,

718
00:54:33,730 --> 00:54:37,066
no matter what blasphemy is built
here in its stead.

719
00:54:38,276 --> 00:54:41,529
And rest assured,
it shall be a blasphemy.

720
00:54:42,905 --> 00:54:44,866
When the national team was disbanded

721
00:54:44,907 --> 00:54:49,704
by a federal bureaucrat's stroke of a pen
in 1970, my father died.

722
00:54:49,746 --> 00:54:53,041
With nothing left to do, he died.

723
00:54:53,082 --> 00:54:57,420
I'd like to say he spontaneously combusted
right on the ice of the arena.

724
00:54:57,503 --> 00:55:01,382
That would have been great.
But it was quieter than that.

725
00:55:01,424 --> 00:55:05,053
He shrank into a puff
of cigarette smoke and was gone.

726
00:55:07,221 --> 00:55:11,267
Now my building lies
like a heart ripped open in the snow,

727
00:55:11,351 --> 00:55:14,646
closed to the public
which worshipped in it.

728
00:55:14,729 --> 00:55:17,774
What if Eaton's
had never gone down?

729
00:55:17,857 --> 00:55:20,151
What if?

730
00:55:20,234 --> 00:55:25,239
But an odd assortment of players
in their 70s, 80s, 90s and beyond

731
00:55:25,281 --> 00:55:30,453
continues to play in the old barn despite
the first few thumps of the wreckers' ball.

732
00:55:30,495 --> 00:55:33,873
The team is called
the Black Tuesdays,

733
00:55:33,956 --> 00:55:39,170
in defiance of the day in October 1929
when the world crashed into depression.

734
00:55:39,253 --> 00:55:44,175
The players are old Jets, Maroons,
or from earlier eras...

735
00:55:44,258 --> 00:55:46,928
the Warriors, the Victorias,

736
00:55:46,970 --> 00:55:50,348
even the Falcons, who won Canada's
first Olympic gold medal in hockey

737
00:55:50,431 --> 00:55:53,101
in Antwerp, 1920.

738
00:55:53,142 --> 00:55:58,356
Cec Browne, voted athlete
of Manitoba's first century in 1970.

739
00:55:58,439 --> 00:56:03,611
Ollie Turnbull.
Buster Thorstenson.

740
00:56:03,653 --> 00:56:07,115
Curly-headed George Cumbers.

741
00:56:07,198 --> 00:56:10,368
Smiley Dzama, so named
for the numerous head injuries

742
00:56:10,451 --> 00:56:12,787
which have left him eternally happy.

743
00:56:13,621 --> 00:56:16,624
Other veteran greats -
Baldy Northcott,

744
00:56:16,666 --> 00:56:19,335
Fred Dunsmore,
greatest of all the Maroons

745
00:56:19,419 --> 00:56:22,213
and best athlete
in the history of Manitoba.

746
00:56:22,296 --> 00:56:25,800
As a child, lived at three different
addresses, all of them on Minto Street.

747
00:56:25,883 --> 00:56:28,845
Strangely, and perhaps a testament
to the mystical synchronicities

748
00:56:28,886 --> 00:56:32,348
always holding sway in this city,
his future wife Margaret dwelt as a child

749
00:56:32,390 --> 00:56:36,394
in the same three houses, long before
ever meeting her future husband.

750
00:56:36,477 --> 00:56:39,689
Billy Mosienko, Winnipegger,

751
00:56:39,731 --> 00:56:43,776
scorer of the fastest hat trick
in NHL history of 21 seconds,

752
00:56:43,860 --> 00:56:48,031
and owner of a fantastic
bowling alley on North Main.

753
00:56:48,072 --> 00:56:50,992
On the Falcons,
Konnie Johansson...

754
00:56:51,034 --> 00:56:54,787
Frankie Fredrickson,
the most beautiful of all the Falcons...

755
00:56:54,871 --> 00:56:56,331
Huck Woodman.

756
00:56:56,414 --> 00:56:59,500
It is even rumored that the heavily
bandaged goaltender who plays

757
00:56:59,584 --> 00:57:03,463
is the late Terry Sawchuk, the NHL's
all-time leader in wins and shutouts

758
00:57:03,546 --> 00:57:07,008
at the time of his mysterious death
over three decades ago.

759
00:57:07,091 --> 00:57:09,469
But that's impossible,
of course.

760
00:57:12,930 --> 00:57:15,141
They suit up in the collapsing
old dressing room

761
00:57:15,224 --> 00:57:18,102
where they laced them up as youths.

762
00:57:20,605 --> 00:57:24,984
No one knows why the Black Tuesdays
formed. They aren't saying.

763
00:57:25,068 --> 00:57:27,528
I'd like to think they did it
to protest the grotesque greed

764
00:57:27,570 --> 00:57:30,073
of the National Hockey League,
which made the sport too rich

765
00:57:30,114 --> 00:57:32,075
for this sleepwalking,
working-class town.

766
00:57:36,788 --> 00:57:41,876
Game-playing reveries,
lost in time, mischievous time.

767
00:57:41,959 --> 00:57:44,712
Time flies when you're flying.

768
00:57:54,806 --> 00:58:00,061
The unfeeling coroner's chisel
breaks in the bones of the temples,

769
00:58:00,103 --> 00:58:02,397
gets at the memories.

770
00:58:05,441 --> 00:58:09,612
With great sadness, for the last time
ever, and wearing a hard hat,

771
00:58:09,696 --> 00:58:12,907
I relieve myself as I've done
a million times before

772
00:58:12,949 --> 00:58:15,785
in the building's famed
urinal trough,

773
00:58:15,868 --> 00:58:20,289
the last man in the illustrious history
of this temple to do so.

774
00:58:20,373 --> 00:58:24,293
Within minutes,
the trough will be ripped into oblivion,

775
00:58:24,377 --> 00:58:28,381
and soon, too, will the great careers
of these wonderful souls.

776
00:58:36,389 --> 00:58:42,145
OK, we're gonna go.
Five, four, three, two, one.

777
00:58:42,228 --> 00:58:43,980
Fire go off!

778
00:58:55,408 --> 00:58:57,869
Go, Jets, go! Go, Jets, go!

779
00:58:59,537 --> 00:59:02,957
Go, Jets, go! Go, Jets, go!

780
00:59:02,999 --> 00:59:05,835
Kind of a strange victory.

781
00:59:07,211 --> 00:59:10,381
Only the part of the arena
added in 1979

782
00:59:10,465 --> 00:59:13,092
to accommodate the arrival
of the NHL in town

783
00:59:13,176 --> 00:59:16,346
falls off the arena
when the dynamite goes off.

784
00:59:17,347 --> 00:59:20,516
This I interpret as a sign,

785
00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:24,145
a sign that we should never
have joined that league.

786
00:59:26,689 --> 00:59:31,361
I really sort of hoped that this would be
some kind of stay of execution,

787
00:59:31,444 --> 00:59:33,446
but no.

788
00:59:34,781 --> 00:59:39,327
Why did this happen?
Why was this allowed to happen?

789
00:59:39,369 --> 00:59:43,206
The arena, my father,

790
00:59:43,247 --> 00:59:47,585
the paternal amphitheater
of our game, murdered,

791
00:59:47,669 --> 00:59:51,005
all because he lacked luxury boxes.

792
00:59:51,047 --> 00:59:54,092
Here we pride ourselves on
the tradition of labor,

793
00:59:54,175 --> 00:59:59,347
and we allow our shrine to be outraged
for its lack of luxury boxes.

794
00:59:59,389 --> 01:00:03,726
I'm ashamed of us,
ashamed to be a Winnipegger.

795
01:00:03,810 --> 01:00:05,812
Farewell.

796
01:00:05,895 --> 01:00:08,523
Farewell, beloved father.

797
01:00:17,323 --> 01:00:20,451
One final experiment at 800 Ellice.

798
01:00:20,535 --> 01:00:24,247
It was really rare for me
to side with my mother in family disputes.

799
01:00:24,288 --> 01:00:28,042
I must revisit an incident
which puts her in a sympathetic light

800
01:00:28,084 --> 01:00:31,879
to see if it parses out
the same way this time around.

801
01:00:31,921 --> 01:00:34,424
Frame, and action.

802
01:00:34,507 --> 01:00:37,635
Wake up, Mother.
Wake up. Wake up, Mother.

803
01:00:37,719 --> 01:00:41,222
- Wake up.
- No. Mm.

804
01:00:41,264 --> 01:00:43,891
- Mother, please wake up.
- What do you want?

805
01:00:43,933 --> 01:00:47,020
You have to feed us.
We're so hungry.

806
01:00:47,103 --> 01:00:49,731
Well, go and make yourselves
something.

807
01:00:49,772 --> 01:00:53,067
I'm too old to cook anymore.
My cooking days are over.

808
01:00:53,109 --> 01:00:55,987
- Do you want us to starve?
- I don't know where the pans are.

809
01:00:56,070 --> 01:00:58,823
Well, just go make yourselves
some toast.

810
01:00:58,906 --> 01:01:02,285
- We burned the toast.
- Nothing tastes good unless you make it.

811
01:01:02,327 --> 01:01:05,913
- We throw everything out.
- Or throw it up. It won't stay down.

812
01:01:05,955 --> 01:01:08,958
Well, I don't have any more recipes
in my head.

813
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:11,544
My cooking days are over.

814
01:01:11,627 --> 01:01:14,213
Whatever you make for yourself,
we can share a little.

815
01:01:14,297 --> 01:01:17,383
No. What's mine is mine.

816
01:01:17,467 --> 01:01:20,094
We brought the parakeet with us.

817
01:01:20,136 --> 01:01:21,804
What was that?

818
01:01:22,805 --> 01:01:26,643
- We brought the parakeet with us.
- How dare you!

819
01:01:26,684 --> 01:01:29,228
- You were warned.
- We tried to be nice.

820
01:01:29,312 --> 01:01:31,898
- And you didn't listen.
- Oh!

821
01:01:31,981 --> 01:01:35,943
- Go get her, Muli!
- Oh, get him away from me, please!

822
01:01:36,027 --> 01:01:39,989
- Spray your filth in her hair.
- Oh!

823
01:01:41,449 --> 01:01:43,951
My mother's always had
a strange fear of birds...

824
01:01:44,035 --> 01:01:47,121
I don't know where it came from -
and messy hair, too.

825
01:01:47,163 --> 01:01:49,540
I remember once we were down
in Warroad, Minnesota,

826
01:01:49,624 --> 01:01:52,627
visiting some friends who had
a 75-year-old mynah bird

827
01:01:52,710 --> 01:01:56,714
that had an immense vocabulary
and was allowed to fly free in the house.

828
01:01:56,798 --> 01:02:00,385
It landed on my mother's shoulder,
and she smashed it to the floor.

829
01:02:00,468 --> 01:02:03,471
Destroyed, just killed the thing
with one blow.

830
01:02:03,554 --> 01:02:05,848
The thing had been living happily
for 75 years

831
01:02:05,890 --> 01:02:09,477
and its life was snuffed out
just like that.

832
01:02:09,560 --> 01:02:12,981
Oh!
Get him away from me!

833
01:02:13,022 --> 01:02:15,733
I'll call him off if you get up
and make us some meat loaf.

834
01:02:15,817 --> 01:02:18,528
- Right now!
- Oh!

835
01:02:19,779 --> 01:02:22,323
There's another one
for the logbook.

836
01:02:29,414 --> 01:02:33,668
Whittier Park, 1926,
early in the winter...

837
01:02:33,710 --> 01:02:35,962
a first horrible snap of cold.

838
01:02:36,045 --> 01:02:37,880
A fire in the paddocks,

839
01:02:37,922 --> 01:02:41,009
started when a squirrel
scorched itself on a power cable.

840
01:02:41,092 --> 01:02:46,180
The horses panicked, frightened,
wildly fleeing from the flames.

841
01:02:46,264 --> 01:02:51,602
One last race for their lives,
out into that cruel snap of cold,

842
01:02:51,686 --> 01:02:54,689
no other way to escape the flames
but to cross the Red River.

843
01:02:54,772 --> 01:02:59,027
Swimming in the current,
swimming, fighting the current,

844
01:02:59,068 --> 01:03:02,405
that current clogging with
jagged chunks of freeze-up.

845
01:03:02,488 --> 01:03:05,616
The ice takes on heft, deadliness.

846
01:03:05,700 --> 01:03:09,620
Horribly, everything clogs.
Both horse and ice clog together,

847
01:03:09,704 --> 01:03:14,500
an ice-and-horse jam
piles and paralyzes, locks...

848
01:03:14,584 --> 01:03:17,628
locks each animal in place
by its panicked, bulging neck,

849
01:03:17,712 --> 01:03:19,797
by its frenzied head.

850
01:03:24,093 --> 01:03:26,721
The heads stay this way
for the whole winter...

851
01:03:26,763 --> 01:03:28,806
five months at the Forks...

852
01:03:28,890 --> 01:03:31,851
like 11 knights
on a vast white chessboard.

853
01:03:31,934 --> 01:03:34,520
A great public spectacle.

854
01:03:34,604 --> 01:03:39,817
We grow used to the sadness,
simply incorporate it into our days.

855
01:03:40,943 --> 01:03:45,406
Soon, the Holly Snowshoe Club embarks
on weekly jaunts out to the horse heads

856
01:03:45,490 --> 01:03:48,201
and holds little jamborees there.

857
01:03:48,284 --> 01:03:53,498
Winter strollers visit the heads
frequently, often on romantic rambles.

858
01:03:53,581 --> 01:03:57,210
Lovers gather to sit among,
or even on, the frozen heads

859
01:03:57,293 --> 01:04:01,756
for picnics or to spoon beneath
the moonlit dome of our city.

860
01:04:01,798 --> 01:04:05,927
The horse heads are always frozen
in those same transports of animal panic,

861
01:04:06,010 --> 01:04:10,556
an abandonment reading unambiguously
to the young lovers of Winnipeg.

862
01:04:10,640 --> 01:04:14,560
The city enjoys a tremendous baby boom
the following autumn.

863
01:04:14,644 --> 01:04:17,855
Humans born of horses.

864
01:04:17,939 --> 01:04:20,108
Happiness.

865
01:04:26,531 --> 01:04:29,492
Now without a racetrack
to slake the city's thirst for betting,

866
01:04:29,534 --> 01:04:33,037
Winnipeggers turn to wagering
on unsanctioned, illicit events...

867
01:04:33,121 --> 01:04:36,207
the Golden Boy pageants held
at the Paddlewheel Nightclub,

868
01:04:36,290 --> 01:04:40,086
which sits atop the brand-new Hudson's
Bay department store on Portage Avenue,

869
01:04:40,169 --> 01:04:43,339
Eaton's little sister down the street.

870
01:04:44,549 --> 01:04:47,135
Man pageants.

871
01:04:47,176 --> 01:04:50,179
The men are beautiful,
the betting is heavy.

872
01:04:50,263 --> 01:04:53,683
Otherwise incorruptible Mayor Cornish
ignores our city's bylaws

873
01:04:53,725 --> 01:04:58,021
and presides as the lone judge
at these lurid contests.

874
01:04:58,062 --> 01:05:00,815
He picks the Golden Boy,
makes or loses fortunes

875
01:05:00,857 --> 01:05:04,694
for those patrons in thrall
to the vice of gambling.

876
01:05:04,736 --> 01:05:07,447
Trotting, trotting, trotting...

877
01:05:07,530 --> 01:05:10,158
on parade for the mayor...

878
01:05:10,241 --> 01:05:13,536
on parade for Winnipeg,

879
01:05:13,578 --> 01:05:16,289
thoroughbreds one and all.

880
01:05:16,372 --> 01:05:19,834
Women only
in the Crinoline Court section, please.

881
01:05:21,127 --> 01:05:24,839
The advent of modern
Winnipeg nightlife.

882
01:05:24,881 --> 01:05:29,510
What does one have to do
to be named the Golden Boy?

883
01:05:30,845 --> 01:05:35,224
What is beauty?
Who knows?

884
01:05:37,101 --> 01:05:40,188
That's for the mayor to decide.

885
01:05:40,229 --> 01:05:42,523
Desire.

886
01:05:42,565 --> 01:05:46,402
Selecting the lucky one...
the one...

887
01:05:46,444 --> 01:05:49,405
the Golden Boy.

888
01:05:54,702 --> 01:05:58,206
The Mayor Cornish era ended in 1940
when scandal erupted

889
01:05:58,289 --> 01:06:03,252
over the high number of Golden Boys
holding down golden jobs at city hall.

890
01:06:03,294 --> 01:06:08,216
These debauched Cornish years
were known as "the orange Jell-O days,"

891
01:06:08,257 --> 01:06:10,259
when the city jiggled
to the tempo

892
01:06:10,343 --> 01:06:13,096
set by that simple but timelessly
delicious dessert

893
01:06:13,137 --> 01:06:16,015
served in the Paddlewheel
as its house specialty.

894
01:06:16,099 --> 01:06:20,353
Jell-O. Only orange Jell-O.

895
01:06:20,436 --> 01:06:24,148
Night manna, squirting through the teeth
into the outer regions of the mouth

896
01:06:24,232 --> 01:06:26,234
and then back
into its center again.

897
01:06:26,317 --> 01:06:30,530
An endless cycle,
the wheel of Jell-O, the Paddlewheel.

898
01:06:32,407 --> 01:06:36,160
Betting action at the Paddlewheel,
that once-vibrant penthouse of iniquity,

899
01:06:36,244 --> 01:06:39,539
drops off rapidly
in the decades that follow.

900
01:06:39,622 --> 01:06:42,583
Hard to work up much enthusiasm
for the pipe-smoking contest

901
01:06:42,625 --> 01:06:44,752
held every weekend in the '50s,

902
01:06:44,836 --> 01:06:49,507
and by the '60s, there is nothing much
left but memories of better times.

903
01:06:53,553 --> 01:06:57,557
Nowadays, I fear for the store.

904
01:06:57,640 --> 01:07:01,060
Even sleepwalkers
are hard to find here.

905
01:07:01,144 --> 01:07:04,439
One last time, I can still
make my way up to the fifth floor.

906
01:07:04,480 --> 01:07:07,150
Unimpeded by any customers,

907
01:07:07,233 --> 01:07:09,944
where the Bay rents out space
to the always nomadic

908
01:07:09,986 --> 01:07:12,280
Manitoba Sports Hall of Fame.

909
01:07:12,322 --> 01:07:14,824
There I can find my sister,

910
01:07:14,907 --> 01:07:17,785
and of course, Fred Dunsmore.

911
01:07:17,827 --> 01:07:21,789
Oh, Fred, why does the Hall of Fame
always choose such thin ice

912
01:07:21,831 --> 01:07:25,668
upon which to erect
its memorial columns?

913
01:07:25,710 --> 01:07:29,672
Manitoba Sports Hall of Fame has moved
many times since I first heard of it.

914
01:07:29,714 --> 01:07:33,134
Every time it moves into a building,
the building goes bankrupt.

915
01:07:33,176 --> 01:07:38,389
It has to pick up all its photos and
banners and sleepwalk to another home.

916
01:07:38,473 --> 01:07:42,143
I worry about the Bay.

917
01:07:42,185 --> 01:07:44,228
Will we always have
the Bay blankets,

918
01:07:44,312 --> 01:07:47,398
the blankets worn by my dad's teams,
the famous point blankets

919
01:07:47,482 --> 01:07:52,195
which have been currency
for our fur traders since 1670?

920
01:07:52,236 --> 01:07:55,406
The city council can't possibly
tear this building down.

921
01:07:55,490 --> 01:07:58,493
Not again would they dare
commit such a murder.

922
01:07:58,534 --> 01:08:03,498
Well, why not? They've killed before,
and they're unrepentant.

923
01:08:03,581 --> 01:08:07,377
What if they do it again?
What if?

924
01:08:11,255 --> 01:08:13,299
Wake up.

925
01:08:13,383 --> 01:08:16,386
You must make one last visit
to your beloved Sherbrooke Pool,

926
01:08:16,469 --> 01:08:18,513
already two-thirds closed.

927
01:08:18,596 --> 01:08:22,684
Built in 1931 as a Depression-era
make-work project,

928
01:08:22,767 --> 01:08:26,229
the facility is actually
three swimming pools in one building,

929
01:08:26,270 --> 01:08:28,815
but stacked vertically,
one atop another,

930
01:08:28,898 --> 01:08:32,485
perhaps the only building of its sort
in the world.

931
01:08:32,568 --> 01:08:35,530
Segregated by gender...

932
01:08:35,571 --> 01:08:38,616
segregated by depths.

933
01:08:41,077 --> 01:08:46,249
Families swam on the main level,
street level.

934
01:08:46,290 --> 01:08:49,836
But one level deeper, it was girls.

935
01:08:49,919 --> 01:08:52,380
Girls only.

936
01:08:53,923 --> 01:08:59,178
And deeper still, in the deepest
of deepest basements,

937
01:08:59,262 --> 01:09:02,223
it was the boys, only boys...

938
01:09:02,307 --> 01:09:05,893
in the steam and dankness.

939
01:09:09,397 --> 01:09:12,859
Back in grade five, I was invited
for a Saturday swim at the baths

940
01:09:12,942 --> 01:09:15,903
by my old school chums,
only to find upon arriving

941
01:09:15,945 --> 01:09:19,574
my friends had no intention
of ever getting into the water.

942
01:09:20,867 --> 01:09:26,164
Instead, they stripped naked to cavort
the day long in the changing rooms.

943
01:09:26,247 --> 01:09:30,626
The little savages in their Saturday
trances wanted me to strip too,

944
01:09:30,668 --> 01:09:33,254
surrounded me,
aroused with excitements,

945
01:09:33,338 --> 01:09:36,424
and threatened to send high-arcing
streams of urine onto me

946
01:09:36,507 --> 01:09:39,969
unless I joined them
in their downy caperings...

947
01:09:40,011 --> 01:09:44,057
with engorged little members...
hairless.

948
01:09:45,391 --> 01:09:48,561
Why? Why? Why?

949
01:09:48,645 --> 01:09:50,772
Why don't we just swim?

950
01:09:53,149 --> 01:09:55,109
While making my way
to this boys' level,

951
01:09:55,193 --> 01:09:57,695
the pool beneath the pool
beneath the pool,

952
01:09:57,779 --> 01:10:00,114
I always thought of the Forks
beneath the Forks,

953
01:10:00,156 --> 01:10:02,325
and a mystical power overtook me.

954
01:10:02,408 --> 01:10:07,372
Something shifted in my chest
the lower I went, a power shift.

955
01:10:07,455 --> 01:10:09,749
It was always rumored
the water in the boys' pool

956
01:10:09,832 --> 01:10:12,960
came directly from the Forks
beneath the Forks.

957
01:10:13,002 --> 01:10:15,838
I believe that rumor.

958
01:10:15,922 --> 01:10:21,427
The two lower segregated levels of the pool
are closed now, since 1966.

959
01:10:24,263 --> 01:10:26,182
Why?

960
01:10:28,851 --> 01:10:31,020
What if? What if?

961
01:10:35,650 --> 01:10:39,362
If Day! February 19, 1942.

962
01:10:39,445 --> 01:10:44,200
At dawn, 5,000 Nazis invade Winnipeg
and declare martial law.

963
01:10:44,242 --> 01:10:49,163
Fascist officers arrest Mayor Queen,
Premier Bracken and his entire cabinet.

964
01:10:49,205 --> 01:10:53,918
Schoolteachers and politicians alike are
imprisoned in our historic lower Fort Garry,

965
01:10:54,002 --> 01:10:58,089
which is suddenly a concentration camp,
flying the swastika.

966
01:10:58,172 --> 01:11:01,926
By midmorning, Portage Avenue
is already renamed Hitlerstrasse.

967
01:11:02,010 --> 01:11:05,221
Winnipeg itself
is renamed Himmlerstadt.

968
01:11:05,305 --> 01:11:09,058
Citizens are bullied,
harassed, molested.

969
01:11:09,142 --> 01:11:12,854
What if? What if? What if?

970
01:11:12,895 --> 01:11:15,815
Talk about a terrifying detour
through time.

971
01:11:15,898 --> 01:11:19,527
For us here in Winnipeg,
where time cuts many pranks,

972
01:11:19,610 --> 01:11:23,114
this detour is horribly plausible.

973
01:11:23,156 --> 01:11:27,493
The 5,000 Nazis are actually
Rotary Club volunteers

974
01:11:27,577 --> 01:11:30,204
wearing costumes
rented from Hollywood,

975
01:11:30,246 --> 01:11:32,915
and If Day is a huge success,

976
01:11:32,999 --> 01:11:37,545
frightening Winnipeggers
into colossal war-bond purchases.

977
01:11:37,587 --> 01:11:41,924
To Winnipeggers,
the word "if" is terrifying.

978
01:11:42,008 --> 01:11:45,803
In Winnipeg, every day is If Day,

979
01:11:45,887 --> 01:11:49,223
and one must be careful
when changing trains

980
01:11:49,307 --> 01:11:56,522
not to take the wrong line,
not to end up looping back endlessly.

981
01:11:56,564 --> 01:11:59,484
That's why one must stay awake
if he actually wants to get

982
01:11:59,567 --> 01:12:03,071
to where he thinks he's going,
to his Happyland.

983
01:12:03,154 --> 01:12:06,949
For time, for the wrathful nature
of this ancient land,

984
01:12:07,033 --> 01:12:12,705
plays one more trick upon him -
wrathful nature.

985
01:12:12,789 --> 01:12:16,250
Quickly, prairie herds descend
upon us again.

986
01:12:16,292 --> 01:12:19,545
From the plains of Silver Heights,
the pained cries rising

987
01:12:19,629 --> 01:12:23,716
from between two mating tilinkti,
or homosexual bulls,

988
01:12:23,841 --> 01:12:27,553
held to be sacred for their double spirit
by the Ojibwe,

989
01:12:27,637 --> 01:12:30,765
spark a colossal buffalo stampede
down into Happyland,

990
01:12:30,848 --> 01:12:33,518
trampling the playground under hoof,

991
01:12:33,601 --> 01:12:37,563
leaving it completely flat
within ten minutes.

992
01:12:38,523 --> 01:12:42,402
Then, a third stampede -
this one by our forgotten men...

993
01:12:42,443 --> 01:12:45,279
our veterans of the Great War.

994
01:12:45,321 --> 01:12:49,158
Joined by our first nation's people,

995
01:12:49,200 --> 01:12:52,412
those swelling ranks
of our heartsick dispossessed,

996
01:12:52,495 --> 01:12:55,456
these souls descend onto
the devastation of Happyland

997
01:12:55,498 --> 01:13:00,086
and sweep up every last piece of
happiness they can, for they need it.

998
01:13:00,169 --> 01:13:04,007
Every fragment of plaything -
rollercoaster, arcade and Ferris wheel,

999
01:13:04,048 --> 01:13:07,885
every last sliver of... happiness...

1000
01:13:07,969 --> 01:13:11,556
they remove it with the swiftness
of a starving man clearing his plate.

1001
01:13:11,639 --> 01:13:14,767
These forgotten souls,
forgotten families, forgotten tribes

1002
01:13:14,892 --> 01:13:19,564
remove themselves and these odd spoils
to their secret homes upon the rooftops

1003
01:13:19,647 --> 01:13:24,444
to reconstitute, as well as they can
from this rubble, their own Happyland.

1004
01:13:24,527 --> 01:13:31,366
Out of sight, out of mind,
invisible, still there to this day...

1005
01:13:31,367 --> 01:13:33,995
still there to this day.

1006
01:13:34,037 --> 01:13:36,372
Wrathful nature...

1007
01:13:36,414 --> 01:13:38,541
benevolent bison.

1008
01:13:42,879 --> 01:13:46,382
For Winnipeg has always forbidden
the shantytowns and hobo villages

1009
01:13:46,424 --> 01:13:48,509
which typically pop up
in other cities.

1010
01:13:48,593 --> 01:13:51,679
Still on the books here is a law
which keeps our homeless out of sight,

1011
01:13:51,763 --> 01:13:57,894
up on the rooftops of our city, above us,
an aboriginal Happyland in the clouds.

1012
01:13:57,977 --> 01:14:00,021
Aboriginal Happyland...

1013
01:14:00,104 --> 01:14:02,565
forgotten Happyland.

1014
01:14:03,733 --> 01:14:07,862
Forgotten people... Happyland.

1015
01:14:10,239 --> 01:14:12,450
Happyland.

1016
01:14:20,750 --> 01:14:24,337
I'm near the edge of town now,
time running out.

1017
01:14:24,420 --> 01:14:28,549
I'm really going.
How will Winnipeg be without me?

1018
01:14:28,591 --> 01:14:31,427
Who will look after
all its regrets?

1019
01:14:33,429 --> 01:14:36,808
I need to think of her as I go.

1020
01:14:36,891 --> 01:14:39,519
The Winnipeg Citizen
was a collective newspaper

1021
01:14:39,602 --> 01:14:42,563
that got the workers' word out
during the 1919 strike,

1022
01:14:42,605 --> 01:14:46,067
the only collective
daily paper in the world.

1023
01:14:46,109 --> 01:14:48,987
I know the Citizen never had
a Page Three Girl,

1024
01:14:49,070 --> 01:14:52,949
but if it had, she wouldn't be
just any tabloid pinup.

1025
01:14:52,991 --> 01:14:57,704
She would be... Citizen Girl!

1026
01:14:57,787 --> 01:15:00,999
A concerned comrade,
sad but strong,

1027
01:15:01,040 --> 01:15:03,418
strong enough to pry herself
from the inky pages

1028
01:15:03,459 --> 01:15:05,920
and climb to the very top
of our city

1029
01:15:05,962 --> 01:15:09,716
to tend to those
in our aerial Happyland.

1030
01:15:09,799 --> 01:15:13,761
And from on high up in Happyland,
straddling our Forks from above,

1031
01:15:13,803 --> 01:15:19,851
she could undo all the damage done
during Winnipeg's first trip through time.

1032
01:15:19,934 --> 01:15:23,187
With one wave of her hand,
she could restore Eaton's,

1033
01:15:23,271 --> 01:15:26,607
the Jets and the arena,
my old arena home.

1034
01:15:26,649 --> 01:15:29,527
She would find a gentle forest
for the Black Tuesdays,

1035
01:15:29,610 --> 01:15:31,946
those wonderful old souls.

1036
01:15:31,988 --> 01:15:34,490
She would rename Minto
after Fred Dunsmore,

1037
01:15:34,615 --> 01:15:37,118
reopen all three levels
of the Sherbrooke Pool.

1038
01:15:37,201 --> 01:15:41,622
Citizen Girl would plant a new sapling
right in the middle of Wolseley Avenue.

1039
01:15:41,664 --> 01:15:44,917
With one wave of the hand,
she would refill the Paddlewheel,

1040
01:15:44,959 --> 01:15:46,961
raise Whittier Park
from its ashes,

1041
01:15:47,045 --> 01:15:50,923
keep all our horses and schoolgirls
safe and right-minded,

1042
01:15:51,007 --> 01:15:54,761
and once again turn on the sign
at Clifford's.

1043
01:15:54,844 --> 01:15:58,890
She would look after this city,
my city, my Winnipeg.

1044
01:15:58,973 --> 01:16:01,934
She would be its new lap,
and then

1045
01:16:02,018 --> 01:16:04,562
I would know it was OK
to finally leave,

1046
01:16:04,646 --> 01:16:09,692
to leave the city in her hands -
secure, cared for, loved.

1047
01:16:09,776 --> 01:16:12,987
Then I could go to where
there are no ghosts.

1048
01:16:17,533 --> 01:16:19,243
Ghosts.

1049
01:16:19,327 --> 01:16:21,704
How can one live
without his ghosts?

1050
01:16:21,746 --> 01:16:24,415
What's a city
without its ghosts?

1051
01:16:24,457 --> 01:16:28,586
Unknown... unknown...

1052
01:16:28,628 --> 01:16:30,672
unknown.

1053
01:16:36,678 --> 01:16:39,138
I don't know what this experiment
did to my mother.

1054
01:16:39,180 --> 01:16:42,308
She really developed an attachment
for my dead brother Cameron,

1055
01:16:42,433 --> 01:16:44,686
gone these 40 years...

1056
01:16:44,727 --> 01:16:47,230
or at least for Brandon,
who played him.

1057
01:16:50,066 --> 01:16:52,527
It's better between us.

1058
01:16:52,568 --> 01:16:54,570
Yes.

1059
01:16:54,654 --> 01:16:56,823
Now that you've gone.

1060
01:16:56,864 --> 01:17:00,201
I didn't used to like
being close.

1061
01:17:01,411 --> 01:17:03,413
Why?

1062
01:17:03,496 --> 01:17:06,749
I just wasn't comfortable.

1063
01:17:06,791 --> 01:17:09,293
Are you comfortable now?

1064
01:17:09,335 --> 01:17:11,879
Mostly, I guess I am.

1065
01:17:11,921 --> 01:17:13,923
Me too.

1066
01:17:15,258 --> 01:17:17,885
That freezie wrapper looks sticky.

1067
01:17:17,927 --> 01:17:21,264
I don't mind. I don't mind.

1068
01:17:24,225 --> 01:17:26,602
Who's alive?

1069
01:17:26,686 --> 01:17:28,688
Who is alive?

1070
01:17:28,771 --> 01:17:30,982
Who's alive anymore?

1071
01:17:32,734 --> 01:17:34,736
So hard to remember.

1072
01:17:34,777 --> 01:17:38,239
Sometimes... sometimes I forget.

1073
01:17:39,907 --> 01:17:42,410
I forget my brother Cameron
is gone.

1074
01:17:44,162 --> 01:17:47,415
I forget my father's been gone
since I was 21.

1075
01:17:49,417 --> 01:17:51,794
At some point,
when you miss a place enough,

1076
01:17:51,836 --> 01:17:56,257
the backgrounds in photos become
more important than the people in them.

1077
01:17:56,299 --> 01:18:00,053
The old living room where we spent
almost every waking hour,

1078
01:18:00,136 --> 01:18:04,182
lying on couches
in front of the TV set.

1079
01:18:04,265 --> 01:18:07,935
My parents and I...

1080
01:18:07,977 --> 01:18:10,188
lying on couches,

1081
01:18:10,438 --> 01:18:13,191
lying on couches,

1082
01:18:13,441 --> 01:18:17,195
lying on couches.

1083
01:18:17,320 --> 01:18:19,781
A chunk of home.

1084
01:18:21,282 --> 01:18:24,744
White... block... house.