Welcome. Behind me, the teeming metropolis that is London, where
tonight there will be a thousand stories, stories motivated by
kindness, greed, avarice and love.
But tonight, here at the Alexandra Palace, we have the best story for
you, because inside are one of the biggest bands in the world today,
performing songs they've chosen from their new album
and treats from other records. Let's go inside and meet them.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
We welcome Arctic Monkeys!
# Don't get emotional, that ain't like you
# Got yesterday still leaking through the roof
# Well, that's nothing new
# I know I promised this is what I wouldn't do
# But somehow giving it the old romantic fool
# Seems to better suit the mood
# So if you wanna walk me to the car
# I'm sure to have a heavy heart
# So can we please be absolutely sure
# That there's a mirrorball?
# You're getting cynical, and that won't do
# I'd throw the rose tint back on the exploded view
# Darling, if I were you
# And how's that insatiable appetite
# For the moment when you look them in the eyes
# And say, "Baby, it's been nice"?
# So do you wanna walk me to the car?
# I'm sure to have a heavy heart
# So can we please be absolutely sure
# That there's a mirrorball...
# ..for me?
# La...
# Oh, there better be a mirrorball for...
# ..me. #
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Thank you.
# Dancing in my underpants
# I'm gonna run for government
# I'm gonna form a covers band, an' all
# Back there by the baby grand
# Did Mr Winter Wonderland say
# "Come here, kid, we really need to talk"?
# Bear with me, man
# I lost my train of thought
# I fantasise, I call it quits
# I swim with the economists
# And I get to the bottom of it for good
# By the time reality hits
# The chimes of freedom fell to bits
# The shining city on the fritz
# They all come out of the cracks
# Thirsty for blood
# Oh, just as the apocalypse
# Finally gets prioritised
# And as you cry some of the
# Hottest tears you'll ever cry
# Multiplied by five
# I s'pose a singer must die
# Singsong Round The Money Tree
# A stunning documentary
# That no-one else, unfortunately, saw
# Such beautiful photography
# It's worth it for the opening scene
# I've been driving round
# Listening to the score
# Or maybe I just imagined it all
# I've played to quiet rooms like this before
# Bear with me, man
# I lost my train of thought... #
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Thank you, everybody.
Hello, by the way. It's us.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Didn't want to be rude.
Whoo!
# Outside the cafe by the cracker factory
# You were practising a magic trick
# And my thoughts got rude as you talked and chewed
# On the last of your pick and mix
# Said, "You're mistaken if you're thinking
# "That I haven't been called cold before"
# As you bit into your strawberry lace
# And then offered me your attention in the form of a gobstopper
# It's all you had left, and it was going to waste
# Your pastimes consisted of the strange
# The twisted and deranged
# And I love that little game you had called
# Crying Lightning
# And how you liked to aggravate the icky man on rainy afternoons
# Well, the next time that I caught my own reflection
# It was on its way to meet you
# Thinking of excuses to postpone
# You never looked like yourself from the side
# But your profile could not hide
# The fact you knew I was approaching your throne
# With folded arms you occupied the bench like toothache
# Stood and puffed your chest out like you never lost a war
# And though I tried so not to suffer the indignity of a reaction
# There was no cracks to grasp or gaps to claw
# And your pastimes consisted of the strange
# The twisted and deranged
# And I hate that little game you had called
# Crying Lightning
# And how you liked to aggravate the icky man on rainy afternoons
# Uninviting
# But not half as impossible as everyone assumes you are
# Crying Lightning, yeah!
# Your pastimes consisted of the strange
# The twisted and deranged
# And I hate that little game you had called
# Crying Lightning
# Crying Lightning, whoa
# Crying Lightning
# Your pastimes consisted of the strange
# The twisted and deranged
# And I hate that little game you had called
# Crying... #
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
What a great song. Great drum part. Great everything!
We now pause and go into the time tunnel together, to 2005,
when they made their first appearance on this show.
# Stop making the eyes at me
# I'll stop making the eyes at you
# What it is that surprises me
# Is that I don't really want you to
# And your shoulders are frozen Cold as the night
# Oh, but you're an explosion Ms Dynamite
# Your name isn't Rio, but I don't care for sand
# And lighting the fuse might result in a bang, b-b-bang, oh
# I bet that you look good on the dance floor
# I don't know if you're looking for romance or
# I don't know what you're looking for
# I said I bet that you look good on the dance floor
# Dancing to electropop like a robot from 1984
# Well, from 1984!
# I wish you'd stop ignoring me
# Because it's sending me to despair
# Without a sound, yeah, you're calling me
# And I don't think it's very fair
# That your shoulders are frozen Cold as the night
# Oh, but you're an explosion Ms Dynamite
# Your name isn't Rio, but I don't care for sand
# And lighting the fuse might result in a bang, b-b-bang, oh
# I bet that you look good on the dance floor
# I don't know if you're looking for romance or
# I don't know what you're looking for
# I said I bet that you look good on the dance floor
# Dancing to electropop like a robot from 1984
# Said from 1984!
# And, oh, there ain't no love, no Montagues or Capulets
# Just banging tunes and DJ sets and
# Dirty dance floors and dreams of naughtiness!
# Well, I bet that you look good on the dance floor
# I don't know if you're looking for romance or what
# I don't know what you're after!
# I said I bet that you look good on the dance floor
# Dancing to electropop like a robot from 1984
# Said from 1984. #
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Alex Turner, Matt Helders, welcome to the show. That was
the first time you were ever on, on that bit of archive there.
Very happy memories for me. Any memories for you there at all?
Haven't changed a bit.
THEY CHUCKLE
I remember it well, actually... Do you?
..because I made a mistake, because Ms Dynamite was on it, as well...
Yes. ..and I did a backing vocal and I said, "Ms Dynamite,"
instead of, "You're dynamite," which is the lyric, thinking I was, like,
the smartest person in the room. But we'd all have done that.
I know, but then I did it and I felt myself so much that I, like,
messed up the next bit. I see! Yeah. But that would have been quite...
Not messing up the next bit, but that would have actually been nice,
to make it more... Adjusting your lyric to the show. Yeah. You know?
Yeah. Not many chances you get. No. That's never going to happen again.
That was a magical moment. Exactly.
Is the world for you a completely different place as it was then?
Well, yeah. Things have moved on in many ways.
But I don't know, I feel like, as the band, we're still sort of...
..following our instincts in the same way we were, y'know...
..I imagine we were in the clip. Yeah. Yeah.
Where does music start for you? What's the first thing you heard
that you can remember hearing? I think it's probably the...
..Pet Sounds in the car as a kid or...
..or Frank Sinatra.
It's somewhere in there, probably, like, the first, y'know,
memories, being in the... well, in the back seat, probably.
And would've that been stuff that your parents would have been
playing? Yeah. Yeah. I, er...
..I wasn't driving the car. No. It's interesting how maybe 40 years ago
people would say, "Well, y'know, the first music I heard was
"when my mum used to sing this song," or whatever. But now, it's,
"When I was a kid and I heard this in the back of the car."
It's the car, when people are travelling. It's the car.
Which is also, by a beautiful coincidence,
the title of your record. Yes. You did it! Yeah. Yeah, he worked it in.
We got there! Thank you. Yeah, yeah. I did that seamlessly for you.
Yeah. No, I like the way you did that.
And where does that title come from? It's nothing to do with what we've
just been talking about, I suppose.
It seemed as though those two words kept cropping up
in a few of the songs that were, y'know, making up the record,
and it reached a point where it was...
..it became clear that that's what it should be called.
And it was kind of compounded by the fact
we had this photograph that we had earmarked to
use for the record cover that had a car at the centre of it.
Somebody very talented took that photograph, didn't they?
Yes, the gentleman to my left, yeah. Yeah, I was responsible for that.
Are you quite a keen photographer... Yeah. ..as an artist, sort of thing?
Yeah. It's like a hobby I picked up about the same time as I started
playing drums. But then I, like, sort of went in and out on it.
But then, when we started going on tour, I'd take a camera
and do more and more, and I got more into it.
And that photo was just taken, like, a few years ago,
when I lived in an apartment that had that view every day out
of my bedroom, and there'd always be something going on on that roof.
What sort of thing? Sometimes there'd be people sat there
having a picnic. Ah! I didn't think it was the most picturesque scene
for a picnic. It's great, cos there's the white car and the black
tyre marks. Someone had been doing doughnuts, yeah,
and that's the thing I'd never witnessed,
the origin of the doughnut skid. But... Quite dangerous on the top,
cos it's the top, so they could have easily flipped over the edge. Yeah.
Were there any doughnuts in the picnic?
Whoa! Oh!
The picnic didn't have the same ring to it as an album cover. No.
The weirdo picnic people on the top of the car park.
Of all the places to go! Yeah. It wasn't as striking. No.
Now, you have some really extraordinary vintage
bits of equipment, which I'm looking forward to playing with you.
You've got a miniature-size Wurlitzer, in orange,
with its see-through music stand. It's like brand-new, out of the box!
Never even seen one before in my life.
That sounded like an auction or something!
I wouldn't sell it! It sounded like a lot. It's a thing, innit?
Look! I mean, it's a real wow. "Come on, do you want it or not?"
And there's a great organ there.
Is that a thing you were always keeping your eye open for?
Yeah. All the gear, no idea! That's where that expression fits in.
Now, you've got a huge show coming up, you know,
great stadiums you're playing now, which is great.
What's your first gig you ever did? Do you remember?
Yeah, it was in Sheffield, at a pub called the Grapes, upstairs.
We, like, opened for a band. Or there were two...
I think we were just on first. Was there anybody there?
We knew everybody that was there. Both of them. Yeah, exactly!
Yeah, it weren't many people. We played to less people after that.
Yeah, yeah, that's true, yeah. It didn't climb.
The first one, we managed to pack it out,
but the room is about the size of this piano.
Yeah, we only had to bring a couple of people each.
In a moment, I'm really looking forward to Body Paint, a great song.
I love that song. And dare I ask what inspired it?
I think it took its cues from the music, really.
There's three acts to it, in a way, in my head,
and that's something I would say about it.
It really does... Both the melody and the words really draw you in.
I think a conversation here about the words and the melody
always reminds me about A Song For You by Leon Russell.
I was listening to that... Only about two nights ago,
I was listening to that. Yeah. I love the lyric and that, where
he says, "If my words won't come together, listen to the melody,
"cos my love's in there, hiding."
And it's like... It's one of the best songs ever.
Yeah, without a doubt. And then he, like, plays that line.
The funny synchronicity is - and this is nothing, nothing -
when I came in just to make sure everything was working,
just to see if you were here, but you weren't... I was here on my
own, and I sat down. And cos I'd heard that song about three nights
ago or whenever it was, I'd been listening to it...
It was the Donny Hathaway one. Yeah. And I sat down...
I was going, "How does that go?" I was just trying to remember.
But in this room. Isn't that synchronicity?
They'll probably cut this out. That feels like it's going to be
a good night, doesn't it? I think it must mean something.
I think it means, like, we should get up there quick,
before the moment passes.
Exactly. Well, we asked you to choose something from the archive.
Tell us about what you've chosen.
We chose from The Desert Sessions,
when they did that with PJ Harvey, Crawl Home,
which was... I mean, we were already fans of Queens of the Stone Age
and fans of PJ Harvey separately, I think.
That just seemed like a perfect thing to do.
And, obviously, the performance of it is great, too.
Yeah, I can really remember this when it was on at the time.
I remember, like, y'know, the day after, sort of...
And that was, like, right when we were all getting together,
starting playing music, an' that. Well, let's have a look at this.
And then, while we're showing this, perhaps we can make our way round,
and I'll join you, if I may. Sound. Absolutely. Well,
we'll join you. How about that? I like that orange piano.
# No more
# It's done
# Crawl home
# Get gone
# Your love
# It's evil
# Lonesome
# My bones
# Took me such a long time to figure it out
# Now is it too late? I can't do without
# Took me such a long time to figure it out
# Don't take it away, away, oh
# Snowstorm
# My heart
# Crawl home
# Your love
# It's evil
# I'm lonesome
# Just get more
# When you've dared
# Took me such a long time to figure it out
# Now is it too late? I can't do without
# Took me such a long time to figure it out
# Don't take it away, away, oh
# Took me such a long time to figure it out
# Now is it too late? I can't do without
# Took me such a long time to figure it out
# Don't take it away, away, oh
# Ah...
# Ah, oh
# Ah, oh!
# Oh!
# Oh, oh!
# Ah!
# Ah...
# Ah! #
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
# For a master of deception and subterfuge
# You've made yourself quite the bed to lie in
# Do your time travelling through the tanning booth
# So you don't let the sun catch you crying
# So predictable, I know what you're thinking
# My teeth are beating and my knees are weak
# It's as if there's something up with the wiring
# You can poke your head behind the mountain peak
# It don't have to mean that you've gone into hiding
# So predictable, I know what you're thinking
# I'm watching your every move
# I feel the tears are coming on
# It won't be long, it won't be long
# Straight from the cover shoot
# There's still a trace of body paint
# On your legs and on your arms and on your face
# And I'm keeping on my costume
# And calling it a writing tool
# And if you're thinking of me, I'm probably thinking of you
# There's still a trace of body paint
# On your legs and on your arms and on your face
# There's still a trace of body paint
# On your legs and on your arms and on your face
# There's still a trace of body paint
# On your legs and on your arms and on your face
# There's still a trace of the body paint
# On your legs and on your arms and on your face
# So predictable, I know what you're thinking
# Whoo
# Ha!
# Yeah!
# Whoo-ooh. #
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Let's hear it for Jools Holland, ladies and gentlemen!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Thank you!
# Arabella's got some interstellar gator-skin boots
# And a helter-skelter round her little finger
# And I ride it endlessly
# She's got a Barbarella silver swimsuit
# And when she needs to shelter from reality
# She takes a dip in my daydreams
# And my days end best when the sunset gets itself
# Behind that little lady sitting on the passenger side
# It's much less picturesque without her catching the light
# The horizon tries, but it's just not as kind on the eyes
# As Arabella, oh
# Arabella just might have tapped into your mind and soul
# You can't be sure
# Ooh, hoo, hoo
# Arabella's got a seventies head
# But she's a modern lover
# It's an exploration, she's made of outer space
# And her lips are like the galaxy's edge
# And her kiss the colour of a constellation falling into place
# And my days end best when sunset gets itself
# Behind that little lady sitting on the passenger side
# It's much less picturesque without her catching the light
# The horizon tries, but it's just not as kind on the eyes
# As Arabella
# Arabella just might have tapped into your mind and soul
# You can't be sure
# That's magic in a cheetah-print coat
# Just a slip underneath it, I hope
# Asking if I can have one of those
# Organic cigarettes that she smokes
# Wraps her lips round a Mexican Coke
# Makes you wish that you were the bottle
# Takes a sip of your soul, and it sounds like
# I just might have tapped into your mind and soul
# You can't be sure. #
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Thank you.
# Your grandfather's guitar
# Thinking about how funny I must look
# Trying to adjust to what's been there all along
# With the boat-kiosk lady and her sleepy amigos
# But it ain't a holiday until
# You go to fetch something from the car
# A travel-size champagne cork pops
# And we're sweeping for bugs
# In some dusty apartment
# The what's-it-called cafe
# You can arrive at eleven
# And have lunch with the English
# But it ain't a holiday until
# They force you to make a wish
# They say, "Climb up this"
# And, "Jump off that"
# And you pretend to fall asleep on the way back
# No, it ain't a holiday until
# You go to fetch something from the car. #
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Thank you, Arctic Monkeys.
This is the end of our current series at Alexandra Palace,
so thank you for joining us, if you have.
And if you haven't, thank you anyway.
Next Saturday, I shall be broadcasting to you
from somewhere completely different with a star-studded line-up, because
I will be celebrating thirty years of this show and the Hootenanny.
So please do join us. Now, if the band are ready...
Are you ready to finish the show off?
Thank you for being marvellous guests this evening.
It's been wonderful. Thank you. It's a great record. Thank you.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Thank you to all of you!
# I'm going back to 505
# If it's a seven-hour flight or a 45-minute drive
# In my imagination, you're waiting, lying on your side
# With your hands between your thighs
# Stop and wait a sec
# When you look at me like that, my darling, what did you expect?
# I'd probably still adore you with your hands around my neck
# Or I did last time I checked
# Not shy of a spark
# The knife twists at the thought that I should fall short of the mark
# Frightened by the bite, though it's no harsher than the bark
# The middle of adventure seemed like the perfect place to start
# I'm going back to 505
# If it's a seven-hour flight or a 45-minute drive
# In my imagination, you're waiting, lying on your side
# With your hands between your thighs
# Or I, or I...
# But I crumble completely when you cry
# It seems like once again you've had to greet me with goodbye
# I'm always just about to go and spoil the surprise
# And take your hands off of your eyes too soon
# I'm going back to 505
# If it's a seven-hour flight or a 45-minute drive
# In my imagination, you're waiting, lying on your side
# With your hands between your thighs
# And a smile. #
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
# Oh, there better be a mirrorball for...
# ..me. #