Hey, young stuff.
You know where there's a party?
What kind of party?
What kind of party you know about?
It's so many.
You got to be specific.
You know what I'm saying?
You're a cop?
I'm a cop.
If that's what you want, baby, I'm a cop.
Let's get together?
Together how?
I'm an old fashioned guy.
So you talking straight stuff?
Exactly.
I'll give you 50 bucks.
Did I like, recall you calling me young stuff?
75.
Well, I like you so I'm gonna give you a deal.
Oh, no, no, baby. Not here.
I've been busted twice this month.
Why don't you meet me around the corner, OK?
How you doing there, Romeo?
- I know you? - You do now.
Get up there.
Hey.
Hey, watch it.
Don't do it, jerk.
Hey, watch it, watch it, watch it!
That'll teach you to run from the police.
Get up.
[THEME - HOLLY ROBINSON, "21 JUMP STREET THEME"]
THEME SONG: We never thought we'd
find a place where we belong.
Don't have to stand alone.
We'll never let you fall.
Don't need permission to decide what you believe.
Oh, I said jump, down on Jump Street.
I said jump, down on Jump Street.
Your friends will be there when your back is to the wall.
You'll find you need us cause there's no one else to call.
When it was hopeless, a decision's what you need.
You'd better be ready to, be ready to jump.
21 Jump Street.
Tata.
What is this lovely lady doing in my bedroom?
Feeling very lucky.
You made me breakfast?
You cook?
What else don't I know about you.
Well, you probably want to taste it first before you
start calling it cooking.
You have time for breakfast?
I'll make time.
You wanna get that?
Got a machine.
Black lace.
I'm gonna hate when you finish this job.
Me too if that bust doesn't hold.
What do they need you for anyway?
Don't you work teen detail?
Well, teens are working the strip.
This week we busted johns, next week the girls.
I'm late for school.
Oh.
The bus doesn't come for two more hours, Krista.
Why don't you, uh, go down to the kitchen and I'll
get your breakfast started.
- OK, daddy. - OK, then.
Hi, Judy.
Hi, Krista.
I really wanted to be out here before she got up.
Take care of yourself, OK?
OK.
Meet me for lunch? - Look, daddy.
I spilled my milk.
Well, I think we're going to have
to stick to the plastic cups from now on, aren't we?
Mommy lets me use real glasses.
At her house, fine.
One o'clock?
OK.
Mommy [inaudible]
Not now, Kris.
But she said to tell you.
I said not now, OK?
Just eat your breakfast before you really are late for school.
- OK. - OK.
See you later, Judy. - All right.
Bye bye, Krista. - Bye, Judie.
Kris.
Didn't I tell you not to mention your mother,
especially in front of Judy?
Now, you know you could really ruin
what I'm working on right now.
What are you working on?
Well, I'm working on our future, baby.
OK?
Now just promise me that you're not going to say
anything about your mommy.
She doesn't exist, especially not for Judy, all right?
OK.
That's my girl.
Oh, you were smooth the other day, Jude.
That guy came around the corner.
He had no idea.
Haha, I had him going, didn't I?
You two think you can just come in late?
Pitstop at the music store to celebrate Hoffs' bust,
thank you very much.
Well, you should have stopped here, thank you very much.
The DA kicked your bust out.
What?
The john's attorney just punched holes
all through your report, Jude.
I had that guy clean, captain.
Totally clean.
She did, captain.
Oh, and of course you were both wired,
so that'll clear everything up.
There was no way she could wear a wire with what
she was wearing, captain.
Look, he ran when Mac tried to arrest him.
Is that a sign of an innocent man?
Said he was afraid of police brutality.
Please.
Look, in any case, guys, let's hold off on the celebration
next time, huh?
Thanks for the advice.
I'm sorry, Jude.
Next time, huh?
- Thanks, Mac. - Yeah.
Anyway.
Don't look at me.
I didn't fill out your report.
Nobody can put everything on every report.
Hey, beautiful.
Hey.
Ready for lunch?
Yup.
Adam.
Josh.
Uh, could you drive?
My car got towed.
Towed?
Yeah, right out of the garage.
I must've parked in a red zone.
Oh yeah, you must have.
Uh, captain could I have a word with you in your office?
Josh, we'll be right back, OK?
Mm-hmm.
All right, straight up, now why don't you like him?
Straight up, the guy comes up with too many stories.
[inaudible], car towed.
Come on.
Last week it was using your mailing address.
But he's starting a new business.
It's not easy.
You ever hear of, uh, sweetheart swindlers?
What, guys who sweep women off their feet
and then take them for--
come on, captain.
For everything they own, car, property,
one little thing at a time.
Look, I've been seeing this guy long enough
to know that he's not a thief.
Now just admit it.
You wouldn't trust anyone I was seeing.
Not till he gave me reason to.
We're gonna go out to lunch.
I hope I'm wrong.
Oh, you are.
Don't try to hustle a hustler.
Just admit it.
Your captain doesn't like me.
Well, he's just protective.
Besides, what matters is how I feel about you, right?
Well, if we're going to have a future together,
there are some other considerations
like my daughter, your friend.
What's the matter?
Well, it's only been six months since your divorce.
Really?
You know I can't remember a thing before I met you.
Come on, baby.
Cut the wrap.
I'm serious.
We haven't known each other two months.
Yeah, I know, but I have hopes for us.
Am I alone in that?
We wouldn't be spending the nights together if I didn't.
Well, let's invite Captain Fuller out to dinner
so he can get to know you a little better.
I can turn them around.
Excuse me, sir, but your credit card has been rejected.
What are you talking about?
It didn't clear, sir.
Well, did you call the credit card company?
And they instructed us to destroy the card.
Well, this is a serious problem for me.
Uh, here. Take mine.
There should be no problem.
Thank you.
I'll be right back.
Fine.
Ha.
Captain's really gonna love this one.
I got this, uh, this business partner, ex-business partner,
and his partner calls up all the time
and cancels my credit cards at random.
It's like a payback kind of thing.
You know, social disgrace and all that.
I got this lawyer working on it, a 100 buck an hour guy,
and apparently this kind of thing
is really hard to prove what with the banks, and the credit
people, and the phone company.
It's just really hard to--
Look, I can deal with anything but lies.
I'm not lying.
You Judy Hoffs?
In person.
Process server, Superior Court.
I'm here with issuing you a subpoena on complaint
in complaint number 13897, Robert Culligan
versus Judith Marie Hoffs.
Mac sent you, right?
No joke.
It's for entrapment.
Guy you busted for soliciting?
I entrapped him?
It's what he's saying.
Why did you come down here to Jump Street?
Why didn't you just give it to the DA to handle?
It's a civil suit.
DA's under no obligation to take this case.
But he's got to take this case.
I was on duty when it happened.
No, he doesn't have to, Miss, not by law.
Well, that's crazy.
I can't afford a private attorney.
Yeah, I understand.
Look, I got two more stops.
Evening.
And the department's actually going to make
you pay for your own defense?
And court costs.
That's crazy.
Yeah, well that's what Fuller's telling the DA.
I left a message for him to call me here.
Oh, it hurts.
My whole body tightened up after that process server.
Well, this ought to loosen you up.
By next year.
As long as it takes.
Might not take so long after all.
Where'd I find you?
In line at the fourplex, remember?
Matinee, kids half price.
I remember.
You check on Krista?
Yeah, she's sound asleep.
Maybe we should, um, go up to your room.
I like the sweater you got.
I like that. New sweater?
Do you?
I asked the-- the lady at the counter
if she had a sweater that Judy Hoffs would like.
[knocking]
Who do you think's gonna be at the door at this hour?
Just tell them we don't want any, baby.
Are you Joshua Calhoun Dorsett?
Yeah.
What can I do for you?
You're under arrest for kidnapping, sir.
Where's the minor? - What?
Hey, hey, don't touch my child-- hey, what are you doing, man?
I'm a police officer.
What's going on here?
I got a court order from Family Division
to take this guy in.
Hey, you don't have to cuff me, man.
Normal procedure.
I don't want anybody touching my child.
Don't fight, Josh.
Daddy, is there something bad wrong?
Don't worry about it, baby. I'll take care of it.
Come on.
Judy, I need bail and my lawyer, [inaudible]..
He's in the Rolodex. - Don't worry.
I'll-- I'll take care of it.
And Joshua's being released?
They already brought him up, Detective Hoffs.
- Listen, I'm sorry about any-- - It's OK.
It's forgotten.
JOSHUA: You're gonna ruin everything for me, OK?
Are you glad?
YVONNE: Do you realize how often you
characterize events of feelings like blood with sad?
JOSHUA: Dammit, Yvonne.
I just want you to promise you're
gonna cut this stuff out.
It's an adolescent habit, Joshua.
Josh?
Judy. Good.
Hi.
Hello, Judy.
Just back off, Yvonne.
Krista's mentioned you.
Hello.
You must be--
Josh's wife, yes.
Ex-wife.
Yvonne Andrews.
Can I talk to you tomorrow?
I don't know, Josh.
I'll think about it. I paid your bail.
I'd appreciate a check as soon as possible.
Tell, Daddy you'll see him again on his night.
It was my night.
Judy, wait.
Yvonne, don't leave.
Judy.
Judy, would you at least listen to me?
Look, just cut me a check when you can.
OK?
My attorney is gonna get the bail money back.
Yvonne asked me to take Krista.
I can't hand.
You got too many stories.
We are in a custody battle over Krista.
Yvonne knows how to work the court system.
She's a pro.
So you're saying she set you up?
We have a hearing in two months.
Every time I screw up, she gets it on record.
This is her best shot yet.
Every time Krista gets the sniffles,
I think I'm gonna lose her for neglect.
So Yvonne's the ex-business partner you were talking about?
Yeah.
I told you, I can't take lies.
I was actually trying to protect you, protect us.
Well, this sure isn't the way.
You have got to keep me in the light.
You've also got to write me a check for the bail.
You're lucky I carry cash.
Yeah.
I'm lucky about a lot of things.
Late.
Private litigators are always late.
Charge it off the clients.
I haven't thanked you yet for agreeing to represent me.
Thank you, captain.
You wouldn't leave my office Friday til I said yes.
I-- I read the complaint this morning.
I mean, I really read it.
This John is trying to sue me for $250,000.
Can he do that?
There's no limit to punitive damages.
But I did not entrap the guy.
Punitive damages refer to his loss of income and reputation
as a result of the initial bust.
He's a wedding photographer.
He's already lost some big jobs due to the charge.
Well, you sound like I could lose.
I'd have to sell my house to make that payment.
That is the norm.
What does this guy got against me anyway?
You got to understand something about law,
you're never up against the other guy.
You're up against his attorney.
OK.
Well, what's his attorney?
Some politico whose got it in for a cop?
Have you ever tried a case against him?
Best trial attorney I've ever lost to.
And it's a woman, not a man.
Barracuda by the name of Yvonne Andrews.
YVONNE: Detective Hoffs.
Hello.
Yvonne.
You two know one another?
We have a mutual friend.
And I have a few questions for you both.
Can she do that, represent the John against me?
Isn't that some kind of conflict of interest or something?
No.
The only conflict is that you are dating her ex-husband.
I mean, you want to get rid of the conflict,
then you quit dating the man.
That's exactly what she wants.
Hoffs, the DA tells me this woman
is not someone you trifle with.
This woman finagled my name from her daughter
so she could get into my business.
Does that sound like a good mother to you?
Motherhood is not the issue here.
Your house mortgage is.
Great.
You walked out of a deposition.
Any idea how unprofessional that--
But they agreed to postpone.
We don't need any strikes against us, not
with Yvonne Andrews. - Look, I see her husband, OK?
Her ex-husband.
Fuller, you told me this case would be simple.
Yeah, well, it's taken on a few wrinkles, I admit.
I told you at my office, I don't want a loser.
Look, Alan, what we need is a witness
to the scene of a crime, right?
Preferably one that doesn't have a record as long
as my adult life.
I'm just drawing blanks from that day.
Well, you get back to your depo, OK?
I'm.
Going
Small favor.
Dig me up a witness.
I have a promotion to worry about.
Mac, Mac, just the man I want to see.
Yes, sir.
Listen, I'm gonna need some outside work on the Hoffs case.
OK? - OK.
I'm your man. I'll be back in a second.
It's not even lunchtime yet.
Hi.
How you doing?
Who are you?
Who am I?
Oh, I'm your friendly police officer.
So what do you got there in the jacket of yours, huh?
Take these from the store?
Gifts for my mother.
For your mother, huh?
Mhm.
I'll tell you what, you're gonna return these, OK?
And I'm not gonna haul your butt in if you
give me some information.
- All ears. - All right.
Now, I'm looking for this hooker.
She's a teenager.
She's the country club type.
She was here last Friday night. - Yeah, right.
That'd be Blair.
All right.
Where do I find her?
She finds you.
She takes the CTS in from out of the Heights.
Hey, no joke.
She's a private school girl.
Comes into town for tricks, just tricks the lookers.
In fact, you might just be good looking enough for her
to trick you. - Yeah.
Well, I'm thrilled right down to my aftershave.
What bus is she taking?
I don't know.
Are we camping here, Daddy?
In the mountains, after Judy's finished with her case.
We're just practicing.
We don't want to be figuring this out in the snow, you know?
Sure you guys don't want to take a Club Med vacation?
Warm beds, room service?
You know, I worry about you at the hearing.
Yeah, you should.
After that depo, I didn't know if I was coming or going.
Yeah.
She's one shrewd lady.
Who is shrewd, Daddy?
Nobody, baby.
But the DA coached me.
I'll be fine at the hearing.
You mean Mommy, don't you?
Shrewd means smart, honey.
And your mommy is a very smart woman.
I know.
She told me she works with you.
When did Mommy say that?
KRISTA: When I was at her house.
Well, Krista, your mommy and I are working together, kind of,
but we're working on a case and we probably
shouldn't talk about it.
Why don't we go get some hot chocolate and dessert?
Want to walk down to the corner?
Hey, that sounds like a great idea.
What do you say, Krista?
With whipped cream?
Yes.
I'll get your coat.
Got to get mine.
Come on out.
Let's put on your coat.
There we go.
Mommy said she's gonna work with you for a long time.
She did, huh?
Well, let me zip you up.
Chin up.
She said, she's gonna make you wishes.
Really?
What kind of wishes?
I forget.
One was you you wish you didn't ever know Daddy.
So are my two favorite girls ready to go?
So you understand, Ms. Hoffs, that the purpose
of this hearing is simply to determine if there are
enough facts to warrant going ahead with the trial
and Mr. Culligan's complaint?
I do.
Good.
Counselor.
Isn't it true, Detective Offs, that you
have not had what is referred to as a bust in five weeks?
Well, I'm not exactly sure.
YVONNE: No need to wonder.
You have not arrested and convicted
a perpetrator in five weeks and three days,
which is far below the department's quota.
We don't have quotas.
YVONNE: Not officially.
But didn't you say to someone recently
that you would, quote, hate the job to finish
without getting a bust?
I know where you got that.
Hearsay, Your Honor.
So it is.
Moving along.
Ms. Hoffs, when you approached my client on the street--
JUDY: He approached me.
YVONNE: Did you offer him a specific favor of sex?
No.
Thank you.
Were you recently involved in a case of sexual harassment?
What?
No.
Yes, about two years ago.
An accountant for the city was harassing me, Your Honor,
and he admitted to it.
You were dating him, weren't you,
a married man by the name of--
I didn't know he was married.
He--
This has no bearing on the case at hand.
Counselor Andrews, you've got 10 seconds to get to the point.
And it better be relevant.
Ms. Hoffs, after your rape of three years ago,
you consulted a therapist.
I'd like to ask you--
That's nobody's business.
This is out of hand.
It was asked at the depo yesterday and--
As irrelevant, yes.
Tie it all together Ms. Andrews,
or I'm gonna pull the plug.
Your Honor, my reason for bringing Ms. Hoff's misfortunes
up is to show that she has experienced
sexist, malicious, and in fact violent treatment from men.
But my client is paying for her misfortunes.
Bring it into focus.
Ms. Hoffs used her position as an undercover prostitute
to pay back what those men have done to her.
And she has entrapped an innocent man--
Oh, come off it, Yvonne, you're just messing with me
because I'm seeing your man.
Tell the judge.
Your Honor, I will of course only address matters of law
here.
My deep gratitude, Ms. Andrews.
If I learn of any concrete proof that you are prosecuting
this case for any personal motive,
not only will I substitute you out of this case,
I'll have you disbarred.
That said, I think we've got enough for a trial.
I'll remand the matter over as such.
Consult the calendar clerk for particulars.
Where are they?
Yo, yo, one step at a time.
If I'm five minutes late picking up Krista,
his ex gets it in the custody papers, Captain.
Why can't he pick her up?
A business meeting came up.
He could close his whole deal.
Where are my keys?
Hey.
Things that bad today?
She took all my nightmares and made them public.
I don't know.
I guess she feels really invaded, me being
at her place or something.
Look, maybe Josh is OK, but I wish you'd ease
up with him, temporarily, huh?
Trial's only gonna be worse.
Deluca's a good attorney, Captain.
He called today, said you were a loose cannon in court.
Says it's impossible to represent you.
He's dropping me?
Wants to see you in his office first thing in the morning.
I'm late.
We've got an eyewitness who saw
you threaten the victim too.
No. No.
I never-- come on.
- Mac, you dig up our witness? - Yeah.
Her name's Blair.
She's buses in town for fun.
I'm gonna go shake her down right now.
Yeah.
Well, no screw ups, this time, OK?
I'll be wearing a wire, Captain.
You're looking fine.
Have you always been this pretty?
I was an ugly kid actually.
Parents sent me to school with a bag over my head.
But now, I'm all grown up.
You're looking fine.
Want to party?
I'd love to, if you weren't an officer of the law.
I saw your man get away last week.
Did they teach you to run like that in police school?
Looks like you're losing more than a soliciting bust here.
Yeah, well, I thought I'd make a deal.
I drop the bust if you testify.
Look, you saw what went down, all right?
You saw the girl.
You saw the John.
You could testify for us.
Court?
I don't think so.
Well, maybe I'll tell your parents where you're
spending your school nights.
If you could catch them between trips to the Hamptons,
I'll pay you to tell them.
Poor little rich girl, huh?
I hate being a cliche.
See you at the policeman's ball.
My pants host it every year.
Hi, Krista.
Hi, Judy.
Mommy's here.
I thought this was Josh's night with Krista.
He asked me to pick her up.
You're very helpful.
I try to be.
I wanted to tell you, I hope I wasn't too hard on you
in court today.
Krista, why don't you run over there and get me
some water from the cooler, OK?
OK. In a cup?
Yes.
In a cup.
I'm gonna ask you just this, don't use your daughter
against me in this case.
I was pregnant with Krista while I was putting
Josh's first business together.
He was finished with me by the time he sold
that company for a nice profit.
But he is not going to get my daughter.
That's between Josh and you.
And you think Josh should prevail?
I used to defend him to everybody too,
before I realized he always had a girlfriend on the side.
Why do you think I don't want my daughter living with him?
Of course you're gonna say these things.
You had a bad divorce.
I can hear Josh, so convincing.
That's what makes him a good salesman.
Josh is not selling me anything.
Really?
Why do you think his car was towed from his office
last week?
Joshua doesn't pay his debts.
Charming habit.
I bet you're driving him around until he gets it out of hock.
Let me guess why he sent you to pick Krista up,
unexpected business meeting?
Can close the whole deal.
Hey.
How's my little girl?
Hi, Daddy.
Hi.
OK.
Check this out.
These are for you.
No forks allowed.
Chopsticks?
Yeah, I plugged in that wok Judy gave me.
We're gonna sit down.
We're gonna have a good hot meal.
You're gonna forget about what happened in court today.
No one's gonna mention that woman's name.
That's good.
A new cologne you're wearing?
Yeah.
You noticed.
I'm gonna take a bath tub.
JOSHUA: OK.
Don't run any water unless one of us is up there.
OK, Daddy.
OK, [inaudible].
Josh, where was your business meeting tonight?
It was on the west end.
I think I got some guys to back my venture
and I'm gonna get a trust going for my daughter's
college tuition.
And get your car out of hock?
Yvonne said you missed a few payments and that's
why your car was towed.
Well, actually, Yvonne stopped the payment.
It's her cute way of letting me know that she knows
what I'm doing with my nights.
A repo man took it out of the driveway that night.
How can Yvonne stop payments on your checks?
Well, you know, it's amazing what you can do once you've
been married to somebody.
All this came up in court today?
She was at school.
She also said you played around on her while you were married.
Well, after I filed for divorce,
I hadn't moved out yet.
And I guess your first company was well on its way
by then, huh?
Look, Yvonne insisted I let her put my company together.
She said I'd lose all of our savings
if I was left to my own devices.
I never asked her to work for me.
You don't believe me.
You both sound so convincing.
I mean, I feel like I walked into the middle of some game.
You guys are fine.
I'm the one who doesn't fit.
You are the best thing that has ever walked into my life.
I'm trying to present myself as a guy with no--
with no games, no luggage, no trouble.
What I got is trouble.
What?
Fuller tried to tell me.
Fuller.
Fuller is wrong.
They're all wrong.
Please, believe me.
KRISTA: Can I turn on the water, Daddy?
Yeah.
I'll be right there, sweetheart.
Just stay here for five minutes, OK?
I'll be right back.
[inaudible]
You like water a lot, don't you?
Come here.
Give me that towel.
ALAN: So I have your word on this?
No more outbursts on the stand.
Juries punish bad behavior.
Dirty little secrets of the justice system.
And about this guy you're seeing.
I figured we'd get to that.
You want to date the tiger lady's ex?
OK.
But you risk getting emotional on the stand because of it.
As your attorney, I suggest you don't see him,
at least til this is over.
How well do attorneys know one another?
Clients rarely ask the question they want to ask.
Like with cops, for example, in other precincts,
you know, sometimes we don't know each other,
but we know what's going on, health, money trouble, divorce.
Yvonne Andrews has had a bad marriage
since she found the bar.
That's what the word was anyway.
It's the husband you want to know about.
I trust him and then I talk to her.
This gonna make you behave any better at trial?
Well, I don't know if it's true, of course,
but I always heard he was a good guy.
Yvonne basically dumped him for her career.
He took up with some lady.
She torpedoed that.
He keeps trying to get on with his life,
she keeps going after him, uses the kid as ammunition.
But I guess you know all about that end of it.
What are his chances in a custody battle?
Depends on a lot of things.
Don't be a lawyer.
I don't suppose I'm gonna get paid for this advice?
Let's start with the worst case scenario.
[inaudible]
Are you kidding me?
With my eyes closed.
Is that the way you've been running your investigation?
All right, Captain, put the claws in.
Look, I've been trying to land this debutante--
It doesn't make any sense.
Explain to me as a real estate agent
how a house I bought only a year ago
can be worth that little today?
Depressed market?
Yeah, it's depressing.
If I sell my house, I actually lose money.
Is Hoff's trial today?
Which is why I've got my claws out.
Look, if you don't get that witness--
I can't afford to do that.
No. No.
You want to know what I think about your assets
and liabilities column?
You could take your columns to fold them five ways
and then you-- hello?
Hello?
Not a good thing, Captain.
Listen, I'm gonna tell you how to handle that debutante.
Now, you're gonna say, no way.
You're gonna laugh, but trust an old hand.
BAILIFF: All rise for the honorable Emmett Harrison,
judge presiding.
This hot dog stand grimy enough for you?
Never seen worse.
So situation is I can't scare you into testifying.
I thought you were gonna tell me something new.
My partner is not much older than you are
and she doesn't have rich parents.
She's worked hard her whole life just to buy this little track
house out in the flats.
And she could lose all that, unless you talk for her today.
Go on.
I'm appealing to your basic humanity.
My basic humanity?
OK, OK, OK.
How about this?
I think I got an idea that'll make us both happy.
Is it not true, Ms. Hoffs, that you
suggested a specific sexual act to my client?
Yes.
No.
Yes, it's not true.
Counsel is trying to confuse my client
with obfuscating questions.
Have a seat, Mr. Deluca.
No more word play, Ms. Andrews.
Under oath, Ms. Hoffs, you did not
suggest a specific sexual favor to my client?
Yes, to clarify his request.
He asked first.
He was just walking down the street and spat out a request
to you?
Well, he can say he didn't, but it's his word against mine.
Will you stake your reputation on that?
I will.
Good.
Because we're about to delve into Detective Hoff's
reputation, ladies and gentlemen.
And you'll find that she had ample reason,
both personally and professionally,
to have entrapped my client.
Request for a recess.
Denied.
Let's push through to the end.
But Your Honor, it is incumbent upon--
To the end, Mr. Deluca.
Ms. Hoffs, let's start with this particular entrapment
case and work backwards.
[door open]
Your Honor, I'd like a moment to converse
with this individual.
She may be a material witness.
Old humanity appeal, worked, huh, Mac?
No.
I-- I promised her I'd be her date at the policeman's ball.
That's great.
How did you get her here?
Well, apparently our folks sponsor the ball,
know what I mean?
So I told her it'd PO them if she
brought in a blue collar cop.
Promised her I'd chew gum, you know, I'd tip the butler,
spit on the dance floor.
Good work, I think.
If I may Your Honor, I'd like to call
a new witness to the stand.
We'd like a recess to discuss the facts in chambers,
if it pleases the court.
Recess in chambers.
Nobody leave the premises.
I heard.
Congratulations. - Take us to the theater?
JOSHUA: To celebrate.
And then-- and then, what did you have in mind?
I was thinking maybe my house.
Well, that wouldn't look too good for your custody hearing,
us sharing a bed while your daughter's in the house.
We've never flaunted anything.
Yvonne'll twist things.
You break us up, you're doing exactly what she wants.
I'm doing what's best for your daughter.
So am I.
You're good for her and you're good for me.
We could have a life together, Judy.
Not if you screw up this custody hearing.
Your attorney has had to mention it to you.
Before I met you, yeah.
You lose Krista, who are you gonna blame?
Tell me I'm wrong.
I can't.
I know.
So you believe we can pick things up after a long break?
Personally, I have never seen it happen.
Me neither.
You're gonna get some phone calls probably,
school mornings, holidays for sure.
No one else is gonna be on the other end of the line.
But it'll be me, saying I wish--
I wish it could've been.
I'll be waiting by the phone.
We might as well start with today's menu.
OK.
Nice of you to show up, pal.
Sorry, Captain.
I had a tough time last night.
What's with the--
I'm going under.
I thought you took Blair to the policeman's ball last night?
- I did. - How was it?
It was good.
I had a good time.
I'm gonna get some coffee though.
Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Tell us about it, man.
I mean, did you embarrass everybody, spit on the floor,
tip to Butler, chew gum? - Yeah.
You should've been there, Captain.
Mac, what's wrong with your neck?
There's nothing wrong with my neck.
Then, why do you keep going like this?
What? What?
It's a Hickey.
It's not a hickey.
Love's bite, passion kiss.
It's a hickey. - All right.
All right.
Let's just keep it between us, OK?
Blair did that?
No, Blair didn't do that.
So what?
You run into a giant suction cup?
That's funny, Captain, very funny.
You guys-- you guys really want to know what happened, huh?
We want to know.
OK.
I was out on the veranda dancing with Blair's mother,
right?
And I'm telling her how I had this great deal of respect
for her daughter, right?
And this goes right by her.
So she asked me if I've ever seen this movie called
"The Graduate" and I said, no.
You know, I've never seen this movie.
The next thing I know, she's planting her suction
cup lips right here on my neck.
And I'm thinking, the pressure is gonna suck the blood out
of my veins, right?
So finally, after about a 10 count, she comes up for air
and she gives me this number and says call
her and ask for Mrs. Robinson.
Man, you just better be glad you got out of there alive.
Well, in the meantime, I got to nurse this wound,
you know what I'm saying?
Oh, well, I might have something for that.
Here, just a little concealer.
No.
I don't want any concealer.
No.
[music playing]